DID YOU READ

What to Watch on IFC: April 23 – 29

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We were never great at Latin, but there is one phrase we remember: Carpe Diem! And you’ll want to carpe that diem when you see what we have on the schedule this week. From “Napoleon Dynamite” to Monty Python to Tarantino we have all your favorites. So go ahead and carpe that diem all night long. Diem means couch, right?

Here’s what to watch this week on IFC:

Monday

We’re kicking the week off right by airing “Teeth” at 9:45 p.m. ET. If you don’t know the movie, it’s like a women’s studies class minus the college tuition plus massive amounts of horror. If a woman with extra teeth in unexpected places doesn’t fill you with terror, how about being left alone in the ocean? “Open Water” starts at 8 p.m. ET.

Tuesday

We’re showing “Monty Python’s Life of Brian” at 8 p.m. ET, so now is probably a good time to wrap the couch in plastic, because you’re about to wet yourself laughing. Even if you need to change your pants, just remember to always look on the bright side of life.

Wednesday

Way before “Black Swan,” director Darren Aronofsky was making us twitch with “Requiem for a Dream.” The dark drug-fueled drama, based on the novel by Hubert Selby Jr., stars Jared Leto, Jennifer Connolly, Marlon Wayans and Ellen Burstyn so you know the acting is top notch, too. The “fun” starts at 11 p.m. ET.

Thursday

Do it right on Thursday night by stocking up on Doritos and Mountain Dew and watching some of Tarantino’s finest work. Yep, we’re showing “Kill Bill.” In “Kill Bill: Vol. 1,” which starts at 8 p.m. ET, watch as Uma Thurman awakes from a coma, to seek vengeance against her former boss and his ruthless gang (Lucy Liu, Vivica A. Fox). Then the action continues at 10 p.m. ET, in“Kill Bill: Vol. 2,” Uma Thurman goes after the man’s younger brother (Michael Madsen) and her one-eyed counterpart, before confronting her former boss (David Carradine).

Friday

Get your Friday Night Frights with back-to-back bloodshed from IFC. “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” starts at 8 p.m. ET followed by “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning.” We got all the thrills and chills here.

Saturday

While spending your Saturday night watching a gawky teenager (Jon Heder) from an odd family (Jon Gries, Aaron Ruell) help his new friend run for class president against a popular student sounds pathetic, when it’s the movie “Napoleon Dynamite” you know you’re winning Saturday. The movie starts at 6 p.m. ET.

Sunday

In 1971 London, a car dealer (Jason Statham) and his gang of thieves break into a bank vault and find far more than cash and jewelry. That’s right, we’re showing “The Bank Job” and if you don’t watch, Jason Statham will find you and make you. It start at 8/7 c. Don’t be late!

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Car Notes

Portlandia Keeps Road Rage In Park

Get a lesson in parking etiquette on a new Portlandia.

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It’s the most American form of cause and effect: Park like a monster, receive a passive-aggressive note.

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This unofficial rule of the road is critical to keeping the great big wheel of car-related Karma in balance. And naturally, Portlandia’s Kath and Dave have elevated it to an awkward, awkward art form in Car Notes, the Portlandia web series presented by Subaru.

If you’ve somehow missed the memo about Car Notes until now, you can catch up on every installment online, on the IFC app, and on demand. You can even have a little taste right here:

If your interest is piqued – great news for you! A special Car Notes sketch makes an appearance in the latest episode of Portlandia, and you can catch up on it now right here.

Watch all-new Portlandia Thursdays at 10P on IFC.

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Naked and Hungry

Two New Ways to Threeway

IFC's Comedy Crib gets sensual in time for Valentine's Day.

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This week, two scandalous new digital series debut on IFC’s Comedy Crib.
Ménage à Trois invites people to participate in a real-life couple’s fantasy boudoir. And The Filling is Mutual follows two saucy chefs who invite comedians to make food inspired by their routines. Each show crosses some major boundaries in sexy and/or delicious ways, and each are impossible to describe in detail without arousing some awkward physical cravings. Which is why it’s best to hear it directly from the minds behind the madness…

Ménage à Trois

According to Diana Kolsky and Murf Meyer, the two extremely versatile constants in the ever-shifting à trois, “MàT is a sensually psychedelic late night variety show exploring matters of hearts, parts and every goddamn thing in between…PS, any nudes will be 100% tasteful.”

This sexy brainchild includes sketches, music, and props that would put Pee-wee’s Playhouse to shame. But how could this fantastical new twist on the vanilla-sex variety show format have come to be?

“We met in a UCB improv class taught by Chris Gethard. It was clear that we both humped to the beat of our own drum; our souls and tongues intermingled at the bar after class, so we dove in head first.”

Sign me up, but promise to go slow. This tricycle is going to need training wheels.

The Filling is Mutual

Comedians Jen Saunderson and Jenny Zigrino became best friends after meeting in the restroom at the Gotham Comedy Club, which explains their super-comfortable dynamic when cooking with their favorite comedians. “We talk about comedy, sex, menses, the obnoxiousness of Christina Aguilera all while eating food that most would push off their New Year’s resolution.”

The hook of cooking food based off of comedy routines is so perfect and so personal. It made us wonder about what dishes Jen & Jenny would pair with some big name comedy staples, like…

Bill Murray?
“Oh, that’s easy Meatballs with Lingonberry Space Jam it’d be great, but then we’d have to Oh, that’s easy Meatballs with Lingonberry Space Jam it’d be great, but then we’d have to… Oh, that’s easy Meatballs with Lingonberry Space Jam it’d be great, but then we’d have to avoid doing any kind of silly Groundhog Day reference.” 

Bridget Everett?
“Cream Balls… Sea Salt encrusted Chocolate Ganache Covered Ice Cream Ball that melt cream when you bite into them.” 

Nick Kroll & John Mulaney? 
“I’d make George and Gil black and white cookies from scratch and just as we open the oven to put the cookie in we’d prank ’em with an obnoxious amount of tuna!!!”

Carrie Brownstein & Fred Armisen? 
“Definitely a raw cacao “safe word” brownie. Cacao!”

Just perfect.

See both new series in their entirety on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

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Dark Arts

Foot Fetish Jesus And Other Nightmares

Meet the minds behind Comedy Crib's latest series, Quirks and The Mirror.

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The Mirror and Quirks are really, really strange. Deeply disturbing yet hauntingly beautiful. But you really don’t need to read a synopsis of either of the aforementioned shows to understand the exact variety of nightmare-bonkers comedy these shows deliver — that’s why the good lord made links. Instead, take a peek behind the curtain and meet the creators.

Quirks

Let’s start with Kevin Tosi. Kevin does the whole show by himself. That doesn’t mean he’s a loner — Kevin has a day job with actual humans. But that day job is copywriting. So it’s only natural that his suppressed demons would manifest themselves in biting cartoon form, including “Foot Fetish Jesus”, in ways that somehow speak to all of us. If only all copywriters channeled their inner f*ckedupness into such…expressive art.

The Mirror

Onward to the folks at Wham City Comedy.

These guys aren’t your typical comedy collective in that their work is way more left-field and even elevated than your standard digital short. More funny weird than funny ha-ha. They’ve done collaborations with musicians like Beach House, Dan Deacon & Wye Oak, television networks (obviously), and others. Yeah they get paid, but their motivation feels deeper. Darker. Most of them are video artists, and that explains a lot.

See more of The Mirror and Quirks on IFC.com and the IFC app.

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