Emily Wells retired to a cabin on a Topanga Canyon horse ranch to record her forthcoming album, “Mama.” And in the same kind of one-woman show spirit, the multi-instrumentalist (keyboards, violin, drums, cello), directed this video of herself for its first single. “Passenger,” Wells told us, “is a collection of short videos taken while touring, moving postcards of light and wind, me banging on drum, and many experiments with stop motion and my homemade buffalo.”
“Mama” is out on Partisan April 10th, and Wells’ alluring collaboration with Dan the Automator, called “Pillowfight” will follow later in the year. Watch the “fleeting nature of all the places encountered” on Wells’ journey. Then give her the keys, she wants to drive.
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Exclusive premiere: Emily Wells “Passenger”
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The deathtraps featured in the Sawmovies are basically what would happen if Rube Goldberg and Hellraiser had a demon hell child. Jigsaw (and his assistants) build devices of such staggering complexity that it’s a wonder what they could actually accomplish if they used their skills for good instead of for ironic punishment.
Before you catch the Saw movie marathon on IFC, check out the most creepiest traps from each movie which, of course, are very NSFW unless you work for Jigsaw.
1. The Reverse Bear Trap, Saw
The Reverse Bear Trap was the most visually distinctive contraption of the original movie and set the macabre template for the rest of the series. A large metal machine is connected to the victim’s face. If they fail the test, powerful motors will open their jaw to a truly fatal degree. It basically takes all of our dental surgery fears to a horrifying new level.
2. The Razor Box, Saw II
The Razor Box presents a serious dilemma: A poisoned victim sees a clear box containing an antidote. But if they reach in to grab it, razors cut into their arms. Just a few seconds of examination would have revealed the trap’s key on top of the box. It turns out that when you’re locked in a filthy pit of death traps by a lunatic, the most obvious solution completely goes out the window.
3. Amanda’s Test, Saw III
Amanda survives the Reverse Bear Trap from the first movie and goes on to work with Jigsaw. (And you thought your job interview was bad.) Unfortunately it turns out that most people building death traps don’t actually want their victims to survive. When Amanda shoots someone rather than releasing them from a shotgun collar, Jigsaw explains that that was Amanda’s test. Just after manipulating his other apprentice into shooting her in the neck.
4. See No Evil, Speak No Evil, Saw IV
Two men wake up wearing collars chained to a winding cylinder. One has his eyes sewn shut, the other his mouth, so they’re not really in a condition to take a calm look at the situation. The result is a perfectly brutal tragedy of miscommunication and mutilation.
5. The Fatal Five Teamwork Traps, Saw V
Five victims face a series of traps which can be non-lethally solved with the power of teamwork. (Jigsaw could’ve had a great side career as a corporate trainer.) Unfortunately for the five (then four, then three…) they compete with and kill each other until the final test, where they have to sacrifice a total of ten pints of blood to escape. With only two people left, it doesn’t go well.
6. Breathing Room, Saw VI
A health insurance executive and his company’s heavy-smoker janitor are locked into crushing vices connected to breathing masks. The more they breathe, the tighter the vices close, until only one survives. We’ll be honest; we love this because someone specifically built it so that the “breathing room” pun isn’t the most painful aspect.
7. The Love Triangle, Saw 3D: The Final Chapter
The many Saw sequels meant that Jigsaw and his cohorts had to get even more creative to keep their deathtraps fresh. The Love Triangle took things into the outside world by sticking three actual bodies in a mall display full of actual saws. How did Jigsaw install a murder machine and three actual living humans in a public display booth without being caught? And where is Batman when you need him? Jigsaw is really approaching Joker territory here.
To the victor go the spoils, and in sports comedies there is no bigger spoil than the feeling of defeating the sports jerk. You know the sports jerk — he’s the kid who tosses snot-nosed but loveable Timmy Lupus into a garbage can in the The Bad News Bears or the guy who shouts “Put him in a body bag!” before Ralph Macchio gets up on one leg to make that famous Crane kick. Before the Bendersguys hit the ice tonight at 10P on IFC, check out the ten biggest jerks we love to hate from sports movies.
1. Shooter McGavin, Happy Gilmore
There is no bigger A-hole-in-one than Shooter McGavin, and Christopher McDonald really seemed to enjoy messing with Adam Sandler. Cocky golf pro McGavin was the perfect foil to Sandler’s childlike Happy and helped to update the sports movie bully for the ’90s. You know you’re the bad guy in a movie if behemoth actor Richard Kiel, (aka Jaws from the James Bond movies) thinks you’re a dick.
2. Reese Bobby, Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
It wasn’t Sacha Baron Cohen as French rival Jean Girard that pushed Ricky Bobby to become a winner — it was the lack of love and nonsensical guidance from his absentee father, Reese Bobby. No matter how deadbeat a dad Reese Bobby was, you have to love a character that can get thrown out of an Applebee’s. The moment when Ricky Bobby was able to forget Reese’s pearls of ignorance (“If you ain’t first, you’re last”) is when he truly became a winner.
3. Ernie “Big Ern” McCracken, Kingpin
Bill Murray never “pulls a Munson” when it comes to comedy and he basically nailed a split as “Big Ern” McCracken in what is arguably the funniest Farrelly Brothers movie. Woody Harrelson might be the Paul Newman in this hilarious send up of The Color of Money, but Roy Munson would never have received his redemption without his nemesis “Big Ern.” In a bowling buddy comedy adventure where one guy has a rubber hand and the other is Amish, it’s Big Ern and his amazing hair that sets everything in motion.
4. White Goodman, Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
In the words of legendary dodgeballer Patches O’Houlihan, “dodgeball is a sport of violence, exclusion and degradation.” Ben Stiller’s White Goodman surely lives by these words as the Globo Gym douche standing in the way of Vince Vaughn’s rag tag group of misfits. When he’s not torturing himself with electric nipple clamps in order to stay away from donuts, he’s gleefully attempting to prevent The Average Joe’s from taking the Dodgeball championship and making ESPN: The Ocho history. Even though he’s not nearly as tough as his consigliere Michelle, the ’70s porn star mustache alone makes him an all-time sports A-hole.
5. Rachel Phelps, Major League
Charlie Sheen’s Ricky Vaughn might have been called “Wild Thing,” but even he knew to stay away from the team’s diabolical owner. Phelps couldn’t wait to take the Indians to Florida and was more than happy to put the team through hell in a plane that screamed “Buddy Holly.” Despite the fact that her funniest scene was as a cardboard cutout, Rachel was one hell of a villain. Even Jobu hated her.
6. Chas, Back to School
“Why don’t you call me some time when you have no class?” Rodney Dangerfield was the king of one- liners, and Back to School was filled with hilarious Rodney moments as he comes to college to help his son Jason enjoy school. Jason’s obstacle in his path to diving glory was none other than the king of ’80s teen movie A-holes himself, William Zabka. As Chas, Zabka is more frat douche than tough guy, as he can be seen cowering under the table with a pipe in his mouth as a bar fight breaks out. In the end, Jason gets the girl and we get to see The Triple Lindi.
7. Johnny Lawrence, The Karate Kid
Depending on how you look at it, The Karate Kid is either the ultimate feel good story of a teenager who learns the ancient martial art of “waxing off” in order to stand up to the karate dojo bullying him; or it’s a master acting class on how to act like a teen movie A-hole. William Zabka’s legendary performance as Johnny provides everything you want in a villain, right down to his maniacal grin in a skin-tight skeleton costume. He’s such a great bastard, another member of the Stepford bully group the Kobra-Kai even tries to stop him as he lays a beat down on Daniel-san.
8. Coach Turner, The Bad News Bears
Theoriginal Bad News Bears is as perfect a movie as you can get. Walter Matthau and Tatum O’Neal have hilarious and heartwarming chemistry, and Jackie Earle Haley’s Kelly Leak was definitely “un bandito.” But the real bad news in this movie is Coach Roy Turner, played by the great Vic Morrow. It’s only fitting that Turner coaches the Yankees and the Bears are the loveable underdogs (with a second baseman who has a mouth like a drunken sailor). The shocking moment when Coach Turner slaps his own son on the field elevates him to all-time sports jerk status and makes the audience wonder how this angry guy ever landed a wife who looked that good in bell bottoms.
9. Clubber Lang, Rocky III
While Ivan Drago might be the most ruthless villain in the Rocky series, he was really just a pawn of the Soviet military industrial complex. Mr. T as Clubber Lang, on the other hand, was one seriously bad dude. Where Apollo Creed was cool, Clubber Lang shouted and grunted all of his lines to great effect and trash-talked Rocky by telling Adrian to come find a “real man.” You don’t mess with a man in a Mohawk who predicts “pain.”
10. Judge Smails, Caddyshack
Ted Knight personified snooty Waspy-ness while delivering such classic lines as “Are you my friend Danny?” and “Spalding, get your foot off the boat.” (He also rocked a sailor’s cap like nobody’s business.) In the end, Danny Noonan chose “badness” and with the help of a wily gopher, beat Smails to win the tournament. Cue the Kenny Loggins theme music.
Get ready to get rowdy when Tenacious D’s Festival Supreme returns to Los Angeles for a third face-melting-ly awesome year.
The line-up is a who’s who of comedy and music talent with Amy Poehler, Die Antwoord, Aubrey Plaza, The Darkness, Kristen Schaal, Dan Deacon, Jenny Slate, Andrew W.K., Kyle Mooney, Dan Harmon, Nathan Fielder, and many more all performing. Of course, The D will be doing a mellow jazz set. Just kidding — they’re going to pummel the masses with the force of rock.
If that roster isn’t enough to convince you to go buy tickets right this second, there’s also a Kids In The Hall get-together with cast members Dave Foley, Bruce McCulloch, Kevin McDonald, Mark McKinney, and Scott Thompson. Oh, and in case one cult comedy reunion wasn’t enough, the original cast of Mystery Science Theater 3000 will also be appearing.
The one-day comedy festival will be held on Saturday, October 10th at Los Angeles, California’s Shrine Expo Hall & Grounds. Tickets are $99 (a limited number are available at the discounted price of $75) for the whole day, and are on sale now. Special $250 VIP tickets are also available. Be sure to follow us on Twitter for more updates, and check out the awesome poster below. We’ll see you there!
David Krumholtz’s 10 Funniest Movie Roles
David Krumholtz stops by Comedy Bang! Bang! tonight at 11P.
If you’ve seen David Krumholtz in Gigi Does It, then you know he’s a performer with serious range. It’s hard to believe the guy you loved in films like Harold & Kumar and 10 Things I Hate About You is under all that makeup. To help get you ready for David’s appearance on this week’s Comedy Bang! Bang!, check out some of his funniest movie performances below.
10.The Santa Clause, Bernard the Elf
Krumholtz was a memorable part of the Tim Allen holiday favorite, playing an overworked, Type A elf just trying to keep the North Pole moving.
9. Slums of Beverly Hills, Ben
Krumholtz played the Broadway bound brother of a rapidly developing Natasha Lyonne in this indie darling.
8. The Big Ask, Andrew
Krumholtz’s friends would do anything for him…well, almost anything, in this dark comedy about big favors.
7. Addams Family Values,Joel Glicker
Neurotic Joel Glicker didn’t have much going for him, but sometimes the right amount of desperation can be attractive. Just ask Wednesday Addams.
6. Serenity, Mr. Universe
Krumholtz supplied some comedic relief to Joss Whedon’s space Western as a hacker who’s funny right up until the moment he breaks your heart.
5. Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story, Schwartzberg
Krumholtz shines almost as much as his staches and ‘dos in this cult classic send up of musician biopics.
4. This Is the End, David Krumholtz
Krumholtz got to play one of his funniest parts ever in this Seth Rogen/James Franco comedy as, well, David Krumholtz.
3. Superbad, Benji Austin
Krumholtz wanted Michael Cera to sing him a little song, and he wouldn’t take no for an answer. Maybe that had something to do with all the cocaine.
2. 10 Things I Hate About You,Michael
Krumholtz became an icon for a generation when he allowed Andrew Keegan to draw a male member on his face in this teen classic.
1. Harold and Kumar trilogy, Goldstein
Little did we know that Goldstein’s search for Katie Homes’ nude scenes would launch one of Krumholtz’s most beloved characters, popping up in all three Harold & Kumar movies.