This browser is supported only in Windows 10 and above.

DID YOU READ

Five movies that should never be watched on a Valentine’s Day date

021412_valentinesday

Posted by on

If there’s anything that’s universally understood in the world of dating, it’s that Valentine’s Day is the perfect day to show your date some truly disturbing movies. Oh, wait a second. It’s not? Hmm. What is true about Valentine’s Day, though, is that it is a great day to take your date out to a nice meal followed up by a fun, romantic movie. They actually do love that. Some guys, however, wouldn’t know a romantic movie if it proposed to them from the top of the Empire State Building. That’s where we come in with a little assistance. And while we’re not going to give you a list of romantic movies you should pop in the Blu-ray player on February 14th, we are going to give you a list of five movies that should never find their way into your Valentine’s Day plans. Heed our warnings, fellas.


“I Spit on Your Grave” (1978)

Don’t let the original title of Meir Zarchi’s 1978 controversial shocker fool you. “I Spit on Your Grave” may have first been released under the title “Day of the Woman,” but this is one of the last movies you’ll ever want to show your lady on any day, let alone Valentine’s Day. The exploitation flick is an unabashedly tough look at what could arguably be called the worst day a female has ever had in a film. Writer Jennifer Hills (Camille Keaton) decides to rent an isolated house by a lake, deep in the countryside but her plan of getting some work done goes awry when she crosses paths with a group of local men hell bent on doing whatever they want to the poor girl. She’s tortured and raped by the men in some of the most disturbing ways possible before escaping back to the rental to endure yet another round of torture and rape. All this before Jennifer finally gets herself together and decides to lure the men in one by one and take them out in extremely brutal and degrading ways. It’s a feel good movie, you see!

Zarchi has been defending the film for over thirty years now – he claims the film is a feminist critique of sexualized male violence – but he can talk until he’s blue in the face; it doesn’t make “I Spit on Your Grave” any easier to watch. Remade in 2010 by Steven R. Monroe the film follows nearly the same exact trajectory as the original and it’s well made but mostly forgettable aside from a standout performance by Sarah Butler in the Jennifer Hills role. Nevertheless, you’re going to want to stay as far away as humanly possible from these films if you plan on getting lucky on Valentine’s Day (or ever again).


“Irréversible” (2002)

If your idea of a good time on Valentine’s Day is actually making your date physically sick, then go ahead and pop in Gaspar Noé’s 2002 told-in-reverse French film “Irréversible.” The sadistic (and talented) directed didn’t want to just assault viewers’ eyes with the contents of the film, but he actually recorded portions of the film using extremely low-frequency sound (you know, the kind the SWAT team uses to quell riots), which causes the audience to experience disorientation and nausea. Physical symptoms aside, the film itself is enough to make many people ill. There’s a hyper-realistic scene right near the beginning that includes a fire extinguisher and a head that would send most people running from the theater. In fact, it’s the only scene in my cinema-loving life that actually gave me a panic attack while watching.

Oh, yeah, and then there’s that whole eight-minute-long subway rape sequence in which Noé decides to place the camera on the floor and just leave it there for the viewer to watch. The perspective and the fact that it takes place in one continuous shot make the scene one of the most difficult to watch in the history of film. Throw in the fact that you’ll probably have to subject your date to the film more than once if she actually wants to understand it (thanks to that pesky reverse narrative) and you’ve got quite a romantic evening planned.


“Cannibal Holocaust” (1980)

Found footage films like “The Blair Witch Project,” “Cloverfield,” and most recently “The Devil Insid”e might be the current cinematic craze, but Ruggero Deodato precedes them by over twenty years. Released in 1980, “Cannibal Holocaust” used the found footage technique to introduce the world to one of the most horrifyingly realistic, controversial, and disturbing films of all time. Filmed in the Amazon Rainforest, “Cannibal Holocaust” tells the tale of a documentary film crew who had traveled to the Amazon to film indigenous tribes and come home with some truly sensational footage. The only problem… they never came home.

So why wouldn’t you and your lady want to sit down with a roaring fire, a nice glass of wine, and “Cannibal Holocaust” in the DVD player? Well, here’s a short list of some of the degradation that takes place in the film: mutilation, rape, murder, beheading, and animal cruelty. The most disturbing thing on that list, however, might just be the animal cruelty as the filmmakers infamously killed several animals on screen including a large turtle. The film has been banned, at one time or another, in nearly every country and not only garnered Deodato death threats, but it also landed him in an Italian prison when authorities thought he’d actually murdered his cast. What better way to say, “I love you” on this special day than to show your girl a woman getting skewered on a pike.


“The Woman” (2011)

It’s frightening that Lucky McKee’s “The Woma”n is probably the least disturbing of all the films on this list. Don’t get me wrong here; the film is highly disturbing but, unlike the other films listed, it’s not an endless assault on the senses. Starring Pollyanna McIntosh, Angela Bettis (a McKee favorite), and Sean Bridgers, “The Woman” tells the story of a successful lawyer living in the country who stumbles across a feral woman (McIntosh) while in the woods. He decides to capture the woman in an attempt to “civilize” her, but his actions ultimately put his clean-cut family in harm’s way. Now, that description might not sound all that disturbing to you, but once you realize just how he plans to “civilize” this woman – namely through rape, control, and degradation – you get a clearer picture of why the film has been so controversial.

Controversial, you say? Surely you’ve seen the video of guy who walked out during the film’s Sundance premiere and proceeded to go on a six-minute rant about how McKee’s film is degrading and terrible. While the guy’s reaction is clearly exaggerated and overblown (I actually think “The Woman” is not only an excellent film, but it’s also one of the best horror films of 2011), it’s a testament to just how the film raises some extremely strong emotions in viewers. And if there’s anything you want on Valentine’s Day, it’s to watch a film that can spark a nice, long fight with your date! Well, you’re in luck: The Woman is now out on Blu-ray and DVD. Happy fighting!


“The Last House on the Left” (1972)

“The Last House on the Left” is a film that may be a lot of things to a lot of people, but it’s most important contribution to cinema will clearly be that it’s the film that launched the career of horror legend Wes Craven. Without Krug (played to creepy perfection by David Hess) we would probably never have had Nancy Thompson (of “A Nightmare on Elm Street” fame), and for that we forgive “The Last House on the Left” for all its inadequacies, controversy, and disturbing imagery. Not to mention, the film basically kick started a subgenre (Slasher Films) that’s still thriving over thirty years later. “The Last House on the Left” might be a truly depraved film, but it’s also an important one.

Inspired by Ingmar Bergman’s 1960 Swedish film “The Virgin Spring,” the story told is a familiar one with a few clever twists: Innocent girls run across really bad guys. Really bad guys do really bad things to innocent girls. Everyone is shocked. There’s some revenge. The end. Okay, okay. The film is obviously more nuanced than that, but you get the idea. It’s all about shock value, realism, and depravity here. There’s plenty of violence, torture, and rape involved (are you seeing a pattern with this list yet?), and there’s also a good deal of gore. Craven leaves it all in front of the camera for the viewer to gawk at, which only works to make the film that much more difficult to watch. Remade fairly successfully in 2009 with Monica Potter and Sara Paxton in the role of those innocent girls, you wouldn’t really want to show either version of “The Last House on the Left” to your Valentine. Trust me on this… The last image you want her having in her head is that of the truly creepy David Hess. Yikes.


Which film do you think should never be shown on Valentine’s Day? Let us know in the comments below.

Watch More
SistersWeekend_103_MPX-1920×1080

WTF Films

Artfully Off

Celebrity All-Star by Sisters Weekend is available now on IFC's Comedy Crib.

Posted by on

Sisters Weekend isn’t like other comedy groups. It’s filmmaking collaboration between besties Angelo Balassone, Michael Fails and Kat Tadesco, self-described lace-front addicts with great legs who write, direct, design and produce video sketches and cinematic shorts that are so surreally hilarious that they defy categorization. One such short film, Celebrity All-Star, is the newest addition to IFC’s Comedy Crib. Here’s what they had to say about it in a very personal email interview…

IFC_Comedy-Crib_Sisters-Weekend-Series-Image

IFC: How would you describe Celebrity All-Star to a fancy network executive you just met in an elevator?

Celebrity All-Star is a short film about an overworked reality TV coordinator struggling to save her one night off after the cast of C-List celebrities she wrangles gets locked out of their hotel rooms.

IFC: How would you describe Celebrity All-Star to a drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?

Sisters Weekend: It’s this short we made for IFC where a talent coordinator named Karen babysits a bunch of weird c-list celebs who are stuck in a hotel bar. It’s everyone you hate from reality TV under one roof – and that roof leaks because it’s a 2-star hotel. There’s a magician, sexy cowboys, and a guy wearing a belt that sucks up his farts.

SistersWeekend_101_MPX-1920x1080

IFC: What was the genesis of Celebrity All-Star?

Celebrity All-Star was born from our love of embarrassing celebrities. We love a good c-lister in need of a paycheck! We were really interested in the canned politeness people give off when forced to mingle with strangers. The backstory we created is that the cast of this reality show called “Celebrity All-Star” is in the middle of a mandatory round of “get to know each other” drinks in the hotel bar when the room keys stop working. Shows like Celebrity Ghost Hunters and of course The Surreal Life were of inspo, but we thought it
was funny to keep it really vague what kind of show they’re on, and just focus on everyone’s diva antics after the cameras stop rolling.

IFC: Every celebrity in Celebrity All-Star seems familiar. What real-life pop personalities did you look to for inspiration?

Sisters Weekend: Anyone who is trying to plug their branded merch that no one asked for. We love low-rent celebrity. We did, however, directly reference Kylie Jenner’s turd-raison lip color for our fictional teen celebutante Gibby Kyle (played by Mary Houlihan).

IFC_Comedy-Crib_Sisters-Weekend_About-Image

IFC: Celebrity seems disgusting yet desirable. What’s your POV? Do you crave it, hate it, or both?

Sisters Weekend: A lot of people chase fame. If you’re practical, you’ll likely switch to chasing success and if you’re smart, you’ll hopefully switch to chasing happiness. But also, “We need money. We need hits. Hits bring money, money bring power, power bring fame, fame change the game,” Young Thug.

SistersWeekend_102_MPX-1920x1080

IFC: Who are your comedy idols?

Sisters Weekend: Mike grew up renting “Monty Python” tapes from the library and staying up late to watch 2000’s SNL, Kat was super into Andy Kaufman and “Kids In The Hall” in high school, and Angelo was heavily influenced by “Strangers With Candy” and Anna Faris in the Scary Movie franchise, so, our comedy heroes mesh from all over. But, also we idolize a lot of the people we work with in NY-  Lorelei Ramirez, Erin Markey, Mary Houlihan, who are all in the film, Amy Zimmer, Ana Fabrega, Patti Harrison, Sam Taggart. Geniuses! All of Em!

IFC: What’s your favorite moment from the film?

Sisters Weekend: I mean…seeing Mary Houlihan scream at an insane Pomeranian on an iPad is pretty great.

See Sisters Weekend right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib

Watch More
IFC_BVSS_203_birthday-song-celebration

Reality? Check.

Baroness For Life

Baroness von Sketch Show is available for immediate consumption.

Posted by on
GIFs via Giphy

Baroness von Sketch Show is snowballing as people have taken note of its subtle and not-so-subtle skewering of everyday life. The New York Times, W Magazine, and Vogue have heaped on the praise, but IFC had a few more probing questions…

IFC: To varying degrees, your sketches are simply scripted examples of things that actually happen. What makes real life so messed up?

Aurora: Hubris, Ego and Selfish Desires and lack of empathy.

Carolyn: That we’re trapped together in the 3rd Dimension.

Jenn: 1. Other people 2. Other people’s problems 3. Probably something I did.

IFC: A lot of people I know have watched this show and realized, “Dear god, that’s me.” or “Dear god, that’s true.” Why do people have their blinders on?

Aurora: Because most people when you’re in the middle of a situation, you don’t have the perspective to step back and see yourself because you’re caught up in the moment. That’s the job of comedians is to step back and have a self-awareness about these things, not only saying “You’re doing this,” but also, “You’re not the only one doing this.” It’s a delicate balance of making people feel uncomfortable and comforting them at the same time.

via GIPHY

IFC: Unlike a lot of popular sketch comedy, your sketches often focus more on group dynamics vs iconic individual characters. Why do you think that is and why is it important?

Meredith: We consider the show to be more based around human dynamics, not so much characters. If anything we’re more attracted to the energy created by people interacting.

Jenn: So much of life is spent trying to work it out with other people, whether it’s at work, at home, trying to commute to work, or even on Facebook it’s pretty hard to escape the group.

IFC: Are there any comedians out there that you feel are just nailing it?

Aurora: I love Key and Peele. I know that their show is done and I’m in denial about it, but they are amazing because there were many times that I would imagine that Keegan Michael Key was in the scene while writing. If I could picture him saying it, I knew it would work. I also kind of have a crush on Jordan Peele and his performance in Big Mouth. Maya Rudolph also just makes everything amazing. Her puberty demon on Big Mouth is flawless. She did an ad for 7th generation tampons that my son, my husband and myself were singing around the house for weeks. If I could even get anything close to her career, I would be happy. I’m also back in love with Rick and Morty. I don’t know if I have a crush on Justin Roiland, I just really love Rick (maybe even more than Morty). I don’t have a crush on Jerry, the dad, but I have a crush on Chris Parnell because he’s so good at being Jerry.

Jenn: I LOVE ISSA RAE!

via GIPHY

IFC: If you could go back in time and cast yourselves in any sitcom, which would it be and how would it change?

Carolyn: I’d go back in time and cast us in The Partridge Family.  We’d make an excellent family band. We’d have a laugh, break into song and wear ruffled blouses with velvet jackets.  And of course travel to all our gigs on a Mondrian bus. I feel really confident about this choice.

Meredith: Electric Mayhem from The Muppet Show. It wouldn’t change, they were simply perfect, except… maybe a few more vaginas in the band.

Binge the entire first and second seasons of Baroness von Sketch Show now on IFC.com and the IFC app.

Watch More
IFC_NYTVF_EColi-High_blog

G.I. Jeez

Stomach Bugs and Prom Dates

E.Coli High is in your gut and on IFC's Comedy Crib.

Posted by on

Brothers-in-law Kevin Barker and Ben Miller have just made the mother of all Comedy Crib series, in the sense that their Comedy Crib series is a big deal and features a hot mom. Animated, funny, and full of horrible bacteria, the series juxtaposes timeless teen dilemmas and gut-busting GI infections to create a bite-sized narrative that’s both sketchy and captivating. The two sat down, possibly in the same house, to answer some questions for us about the series. Let’s dig in….

E.coli-class-

IFC: How would you describe E.Coli High to a fancy network executive you just met in an elevator?

BEN: Hi ummm uhh hi ok well its like umm (gets really nervous and blows it)…

KB: It’s like the Super Bowl meets the Oscars.

IFC: How would you describe E.Coli High to a drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?

BEN: Oh wow, she’s really cute isn’t she? I’d definitely blow that too.

KB: It’s a cartoon that is happening inside your stomach RIGHT NOW, that’s why you feel like you need to throw up.

IFC: What was the genesis of E.Coli High?

KB: I had the idea for years, and when Ben (my brother-in-law, who is a special needs teacher in Philly) began drawing hilarious comics, I recruited him to design characters, animate the series, and do some writing. I’m glad I did, because Ben rules!

BEN: Kevin told me about it in a park and I was like yeah that’s a pretty good idea, but I was just being nice. I thought it was dumb at the time.

ecoli-computer

IFC: What makes going to proms and dating moms such timeless and oddly-relatable subject matter?

BEN: Since the dawn of time everyone has had at least one friend with a hot mom. It is physically impossible to not at least make a comment about that hot mom.

KB: Who among us hasn’t dated their friend’s mom and levitated tables at a prom?

IFC: Why do you think the world is ready for this series?

BEN: There’s a lot of content now. I don’t think anyone will even notice, but it’d be cool if they did.

KB: A show about talking food poisoning bacteria is basically the same as just watching the news these days TBH.

Watch E.Coli High below and discover more NYTVF selections from years past on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

Watch More