DID YOU READ

“I’d like to thank the Academy…” – Tim Grierson on The Art of Oscar Speeches

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It’s easy to be cynical about the Oscars. “Just another awards show.” “They always honor the wrong movies.” “It’s too stuffy and dull.” And while I agree with all those complaints, I’ve never been someone who rolls his eyes at the Academy Awards. OK, fine, I’m not jazzed about Billy Crystal as the host, and I’m not thrilled that “The Artist” is probably going to win Best Picture. But this Sunday, I’ll probably be as excited as I always am about the show. It’s not necessarily who wins that matters — it’s how they win. For me, you see, it’s all about the acceptance speeches. In front of the world, a celebrated actor or director becomes something different — a brand-new Oscar winner — and the unpredictability of that transformation is something I never get tired of watching.

Because the buildup to Oscar night is filled with so many other nights of awards — critics’ prizes, the Golden Globes, the SAG Awards — it can sometimes feel anticlimactic when they finally hand out the Academy Awards. (By this point last year, did anyone think Colin Firth or Christian Bale wasn’t going to win?) And so it’s inevitable that some of the speeches come across as smoothly delivered but a little rote. There’s less surprise in the winner’s voice because, well, he or she sorta knew this moment might be coming.

But nonetheless there are still occasionally those out-of-left-field shockers in which the pomp of Oscar night gives way to something more lively and human. For all the carefully manicured glitz of the program, a great, heartfelt speech can cut through that — and thank goodness.

I’m thinking of a moment like Adrien Brody’s 2003 reaction to his Best Actor win for “The Pianist.” He was up against four previous Oscar-winners, and he was easily the least-known of the contenders. And, yet, there he was, hearing his name called. We tend to remember Brody’s victory mostly for his memorable big smooch with presenter Halle Berry, which gets replayed over and over again. But his acceptance was much more than just that — it was the chance to watch the youngest man ever to win Best Actor wrap his head around what was happening. And so out came this wonderfully touching and ramshackle speech that a more seasoned Hollywood veteran would never give in a million years. And that was the point: Whether wishing a military buddy a safe return or admitting that the experience had been great except for the “insomnia and sudden panic attacks,” there was something terrifically unguarded and honest in Brody’s words that made him seem like the realest person in the room. It wasn’t smooth, but it was beautiful and emotional.

I think that’s what we all want from acceptance speeches — that sense of connection with a winner in which we get a hint of what’s going on in his or her head during a career-defining moment. Even if we’ve never had dreams of winning an Oscar (or a Grammy or a Tony or an Emmy), we’ve all probably imagined what it would be like to be in front of all our peers (and a huge TV audience) and say thanks. And even if you look down your nose at the Oscars, there’s no question it’s the pinnacle of the film business. For the rest of your life, you’ll always be identified as “Oscar-winner” so-and-so. (Although, as George Clooney noted when he won the Best Supporting Actor prize, there is a downside to that.) And we all get to share in that moment of someone’s ascension to Oscar immortality, which only a select group of actors and filmmakers have ever gotten to enjoy. That’s incredibly thrilling — but it also must be a little daunting. The performance took weeks of preparation, a few months of shooting, and then a few months more to be shaped in an editing room. But the speech? That happens live, and there’s no way to know what will come out of your mouth — but audiences will remember it for just as long.

I’m not the only one thinking about Oscar speeches lately. Film critic Glenn Kenny recently put together a list of the best male and female acceptances, and while it’s a great rundown, I think it tends toward the more iconic speeches that we all remember. Personally, it’s the smaller, less infamous moments that have stayed with me. Like when 2008 host Jon Stewart brought back Best Original Song co-winner Markéta Irglová (for “Falling Slowly” from “Once”) to say her thanks after she’d been played off earlier. Or Kate Winslet, receiving her 2009 Best Actress Oscar, asking her dad to “whistle or something ‘cuz then I’ll know where you are” — which her dad did immediately, getting her attention in the packed Kodak Theatre. Or Paul Sorvino sobbing uncontrollably as his daughter Mira won Best Supporting Actress for “Mighty Aphrodite.” Or Tommy Lee Jones, whose head was shaved for his upcoming role in “Cobb,” insisting “I am not bald” while winning Best Supporting Actor in 1994.

But the reason why I love the Oscars specifically is that every once in a while you’ll get a crazy confluence of events that allows the crunk rap group Three 6 Mafia to walk home with an Academy Award for Best Original Song for “Hustle & Flow.” Their minds clearly blown, the members rushed the stage and just started shouting out thanks to whomever they could remember, which included group member Paul Beauregard (a.k.a. DJ Paul) thanking, “George Clooney, my favorite man, he showed me love when I first met him.” It was such a terrific, spontaneous moment — almost as terrific as host Jon Stewart’s comment to the staid Kodak audience: “How come they’re the most excited people here tonight? Why is that? … That’s how you accept an Oscar.”

It’s not the only way. But it sure made for great television. I hope we get a speech that heartfelt and natural and joyous Sunday night.

You can follow Tim Grierson on Twitter.

Do you have your own favorite Oscar speeches? Let us know in the comments below!

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New Nasty

Whips, Chains and Hand Sanitizer

Turn On The Full Season Of Neurotica At IFC's Comedy Crib

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Jenny Jaffe has a lot going on: She’s writing for Disney’s upcoming Big Hero 6: The Series, developing comedy projects with pals at Devastator Press, and she’s straddling the line between S&M and OCD as the creator and star of the sexyish new series Neurotica, which has just made its debut on IFC’s Comedy Crib. Jenny gave us some extremely intimate insight into what makes Neurotica (safely) sizzle…

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IFC: How would you describe Neurotica to a fancy network executive you met in an elevator?

Jenny: Neurotica is about a plucky Dominatrix with OCD trying to save her small-town dungeon.

IFC: How would you describe Neurotica to a drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?

Jenny: Neurotica is about a plucky Dominatrix with OCD trying to save her small-town dungeon. You’re great. We should get coffee sometime. I’m not just saying that. I know other people just say that sometimes but I really feel like we’re going to be friends, you know? Here, what’s your number, I’ll call you so you can have my number!

IFC: What’s your comedy origin story?

Jenny: Since I was a kid I’ve dealt with severe OCD and anxiety. Comedy has always been one of the ways I’ve dealt with that. I honestly just want to help make people feel happy for a few minutes at a time.

IFC: What was the genesis of Neurotica?

Jenny: I’m pretty sure it was a title-first situation. I was coming up with ideas to pitch to a production company a million years ago (this isn’t hyperbole; I am VERY old) and just wrote down “Neurotica”; then it just sort of appeared fully formed. “Neurotica? Oh it’s an over-the-top romantic comedy about a Dominatrix with OCD, of course.” And that just happened to hit the buttons of everything I’m fascinated by.

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IFC: How would you describe Ivy?

Jenny: Ivy is everything I love in a comedy character – she’s tenacious, she’s confident, she’s sweet, she’s a big wonderful weirdo.

IFC: How would Ivy’s clientele describe her?

Jenny:  Open-minded, caring, excellent aim.

IFC: Why don’t more small towns have local dungeons?

Jenny: How do you know they don’t?

IFC: What are the pros and cons of joining a chain mega dungeon?

Jenny: You can use any of their locations but you’ll always forget you have a membership and in a year you’ll be like “jeez why won’t they let me just cancel?”

IFC: Mouths are gross! Why is that?

Jenny: If you had never seen a mouth before and I was like “it’s a wet flesh cave with sharp parts that lives in your face”, it would sound like Cronenberg-ian body horror. All body parts are horrifying. I’m kind of rooting for the singularity, I’d feel way better if I was just a consciousness in a cloud.

See the whole season of Neurotica right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

The-Craft

The ’90s Are Back

The '90s live again during IFC's weekend marathon.

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Photo Credit: Everett Digital, Columbia Pictures

We know what you’re thinking: “Why on Earth would anyone want to reanimate the decade that gave us Haddaway, Los Del Rio, and Smash Mouth, not to mention Crystal Pepsi?”

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Thoughts like those are normal. After all, we tend to remember lasting psychological trauma more vividly than fleeting joy. But if you dig deep, you’ll rediscover that the ’90s gave us so much to fondly revisit. Consider the four pillars of true ’90s culture.

Boy Bands

We all pretended to hate them, but watch us come alive at a karaoke bar when “I Want It That Way” comes on. Arguably more influential than Brit Pop and Grunge put together, because hello – Justin Timberlake. He’s a legitimate cultural gem.

Man-Child Movies

Adam Sandler is just behind The Simpsons in terms of his influence on humor. Somehow his man-child schtick didn’t get old until the aughts, and his success in that arena ushered in a wave of other man-child movies from fellow ’90s comedians. RIP Chris Farley (and WTF Rob Schneider).

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Teen Angst

In horror, dramas, comedies, and everything in between: Troubled teens! Getting into trouble! Who couldn’t relate to their First World problems, plaid flannels, and lose grasp of the internet?

Mainstream Nihilism

From the Coen Bros to Fincher to Tarantino, filmmakers on the verge of explosive popularity seemed interested in one thing: mind f*cking their audiences by putting characters in situations (and plot lines) beyond anyone’s control.

Feeling better about that walk down memory lane? Good. Enjoy the revival.

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And revisit some important ’90s classics all this weekend during IFC’s ’90s Marathon. Check out the full schedule here.

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Get Physical

DVDs are the new Vinyl

Portlandia Season 7 Now Available On Disc.

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In this crazy digital age, sometimes all we really want is to reach out and touch something. Maybe that’s why so many of us are still gung-ho about owning stuff on DVD. It’s tangible. It’s real. It’s tech from a bygone era that still feels relevant, yet also kitschy and retro. It’s basically vinyl for people born after 1990.

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Inevitably we all have that friend whose love of the disc is so absolutely repellent that he makes the technology less appealing. “The resolution, man. The colors. You can’t get latitude like that on a download.” Go to hell, Tim.

Yes, Tim sucks, and you don’t want to be like Tim, but maybe he’s onto something and DVD is still the future. Here are some benefits that go beyond touch.

It’s Decor and Decorum

With DVDs and a handsome bookshelf you can show off your great taste in film and television without showing off your search history. Good for first dates, dinner parties, family reunions, etc.

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Forget Public Wifi

Warm up that optical drive. No more awkwardly streaming episodes on shady free wifi!

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Inter-not

Internet service goes down. It happens all the time. It could happen right now. Then what? Without a DVD on hand you’ll be forced to make eye contact with your friends and family. Or worse – conversation.

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Self Defense

You can’t throw a download like a ninja star. Think about it.

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If you’d like to experience the benefits DVD ownership yourself, Portlandia Season 7 is now available on DVD and Blue-Ray.