DID YOU READ

“G.I. Joe: Retaliation,” “The Avengers” and “The Amazing Spider-Man” deliver the action at Toy Fair

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The relationship between movies and toys these days is almost seamless. On one had you have movies like “Star Wars” that pretty much gave birth to the action figure line, and other the other you have toy lines like G.I. Joe and Transformers that were adapted in to major motion pictures. And the relationship makes complete and total sense. From wanting to take a piece of your on-screen adventure home, to the excitement of seeing your action figures come to life, there’s a certain chemistry between plastic and film, and this weekend it brewed to a perfect mix at the New York Toy Fair.

At the Hasbro Fan Media Day, IFC had the opportunity to spend some quality time with the toys that will accompany this summer’s biggest movies. From the Marvel Movies, we were able to see “The Amazing Spider-Man” in multiple incarnations, from the standard action figure to an RC version of the web-slinger that climbs wall using vacuum suction. And for those not content with simply playing with the Lizard, there’s a snazzy mask to bring out your inner reptile.

Also from Marvel comes figures from “The Avengers,” featuring Captain America, Hulk, Thor and Black Widow. Among the many vehicles the figures can use, none is more impressive than the 3-foot long S.H.I.E.L.D. Helicarrier, with more than enough space for the entire line-up of heroes to assemble. While the Helicarrier isn’t quite as big at Hasbro’s 1985 U.S.S. Flagg, it could also serve as the perfect staging for a G.I. Joe assault squad.

And while we’re on the subject, the new figures from “G.I. Joe: Retaliation” are unbelivably cool. From Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s Roadblock, which could inspire anything from wrestling to “The Fast and The Furious” playtime, to finally getting a Bruce Willis action figure (in character as Joe Colton) that makes up for every John McClane figure we didn’t get over the four “Die-Hard” movies (now, if they had only cast Alan Rickman as part of Cobra’s inner circle).

But while it’s great to get figures for two of film’s biggest action heroes, my personal favorite has to be The Rza’s figure for The Blind Master, a member of the same ninja clan that trained Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow. If there was ever a figure more deserving of Kung-Fu grip, it would be an MC from the Wu-Tang Clan.

With the release of “Star Wars: The Phantom Menace 3D,” this past week, Hasbro has introduced newly sculpted figures from the film, as well as a massive Trade Federation Droid deployment ship.

But the best thing from this line has to be the one that isn’t in any of the movies, but really should be: Jar Jar Binks in carbonite.

While it isn’t really clear who’s throne room wall Jar Jar would be displayed on, we’re pretty sure no one will be mounting a rescue any time soon.

And finally, we got to check out the toy lines for “Battleship,” which feature an updated version of the game so that you can match the Earth’s Navy against alien invaders, and model kits using Hasbro’s new Kre-O building block line.

Did seeing the toys for this summer’s movies get you excited? Which ones do you have to get first? Tell us in the comments below or on Facebook or Twitter.

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Very NSFW

The Brockmire Premiere Is All Truth

Watch The First Episode of Brockmire Right Now for Free

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GIFS via Giphy

At long last, the Brockmire pre-premiere has arrived. Which means you can watch it right now—on IFC.com, at Funny Or Die, on IFC’s Apple TV and mobile apps, on Youtube, on Facebook, on the AMC apps, and right here. So grab some headphones and get watching.

No seriously, get headphones.

Because whether he’s giving a play-by-play or ruminating on the world around him, Jim Brockmire calls it like he sees it. And how he sees it is very NSFW. His take on life is actually quite refreshing, even to the point of being profoundly sage. For proof just look at these pearls of unconventional wisdom from the premiere…

Brockmire On The Internet

“If I need porn I just buy a nudie mag, like my father and his father before him.”

Brockmire On Sex-Ed

“Kids, a strap-on is a belt with d— on it that mommies use to f— daddies.”
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Brockmire On The Perfect High

“Somewhere between 10 cups of coffee and very low-grade cocaine.”
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Brockmire On The Tardiness of Spring

“Old man winter’s reaching his hand inside your coat to give that thing one more squeeze.”

Brockmire On Keeping Perspective

“I thought I hit rock bottom in a handicap restroom in Bangkok where a Thai lady-boy snorted crank off my johnson while a sunburnt German watched us on the toilet”
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Brockmire On Humanity

“If you want to look directly into the gaping maw of oblivion, don’t look up to the heavens. Just look in the mirror.”
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See these nuggets and more in the first episode of Brockmire, and see the whole season beginning April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Thank Azaria

Best. Characters. Ever.

Our favorite Hank Azaria characters.

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Hank Azaria may well be the most prolific voice and character actor of our time. The work he’s done for The Simpsons alone has earned him a permanent place in the pop culture zeitgeist. And now he’s bringing another character to the mainstream: a washed-up sports announcer named Jim Brockmire, in the aptly titled new series Brockmire.

We’re looking forward to it. So much so that we want to look backward, too, with a short-but-sweet retrospective of some of Azaria’s important characters. Shall we begin?

Half The Recurring Simpsons Characters

He’s Comic Book Guy. He’s Chief Wiggum. He’s Apu. He’s Cletus. He’s Snake. He’s Superintendent Chalmers. He’s the Sea Captain. He’s Kurt “Can I Borrow A Feeling” Van Houten. He’s Professor Frink. He’s Carl. And he’s many more. But most importantly he’s Moe Szyslak, the staple character Azaria has voiced since his very first audition for The Simpsons.

Oh, and He’s Frank Grimes

For all the regular Simpsons characters Azaria has played over the years, his most brilliant performance may have been a one-off: Frank Grimes, the scrappy bootstrapper who worked tirelessly all his life for honest, incremental, and easily-undermined success. Azaria’s portrayal of this character was nuanced, emotional, and simply magical.

Patches O’Houlihan

Dodgeball is a “sport of violence, exclusion and degradation.” as Hank Azaria generously points out in his brief but crucial cameo in Dodgeball. That’s sage wisdom. Try applying his “five D’s” to your life on and off the court and enjoy the results.

Harold Zoid

Of Futurama fame. The crazy uncle of Dr. Zoidberg, Harold Zoid was once a lion (or lobster) of the silver screen until Smell-o-vision forced him into retirement.

Agador

The Birdcage was significant for many reasons, and the comic genius of Hank Azaria’s character “Agador” sits somewhere towards the top of that list. If you haven’t seen this movie, shame on you.

Gargamel

Nobody else could make a live-action Gargamel possible.

Ed Cochran

From Ray Donovan. Great character, great last name [editorial note: the author of this article may be bias].

Kahmunra, The Thinker, Abe Lincoln

All in the Night At The Museum: Battle Of The Smithsonian, a file that let Azaria flex his voice acting and live-action muscles in one fell swoop.

The Blue Raja

Mystery Men has everything, including a fatal case of Smash Mouth. Azaria’s iconic superhero makes the shortlist of redeemable qualities, though.

Dr. Huff

Huff put Azaria in a leading role, and it was good. So good that there is no good gif of it. Internet? More like Inter-not.

Learn more about Hank Azaria’s newest claim to fame right here, and don’t miss the premiere of Brockmire April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Flame Out

Brockmire and Other Public Implosions

Brockmire Premieres April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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There’s less than a month until the Brockmire premiere, and to say we’re excited would be an insulting understatement. It’s not just that it stars Hank Azaria, who can do no wrong (and yes, that’s including Mystery Men, which is only cringeworthy because of Smash Mouth). It’s that the whole backstory of the titular character, Jim Brockmire, is the stuff of legends. A one-time iconic sportscaster who won the hearts of fans and players alike, he fell from grace after an unfortunate personal event triggered a seriously public meltdown. See for yourself in the NSFW Funny or Die digital short that spawned the IFC series:

See? NSFW and spectacularly catastrophic in a way that could almost be real. Which got us thinking: What are some real-life sports fails that have nothing to do with botched athletics and everything to do with going tragically off script? The internet is a dark and dirty place, friends, but these three examples are pretty special and mostly safe for work…

Disgruntled Sports Reporter

His co-anchor went offsides and he called it like he saw it.

Jim Rome vs Jim “Not Chris” Everett

You just don’t heckle a professional athlete when you’re within striking distance. Common sense.

Carl Lewis’s National Anthem

He killed it! As in murdered. It’s dead.

To see more moments just like these, we recommend spending a day in your pajamas combing through the muckiness of the internet. But to see something that’s Brockmire-level funny without having to clear your browser history, check out the sneak peeks and extras here.

Don’t miss the premiere of Brockmire April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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