DID YOU READ

Five Bad Ass Teen Girls We Love

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Tonight at 8/7c we’re showing “Hard Candy,” the delightful and light-hearted tale of a teenage girl entrapping an online pedophile. The film stars Ellen Page in her pre-“Juno” days as Hayley, a 14-year-old girl whose emotional maturity seems to betray her tender age. She agrees to meet Jeff (Patrick Wilson) a thirtysomething fashion photographer in person after becoming acquainted with him in an online chat room. Jeff’s intentions toward his young chat buddy seem less than honorable. After meeting in a coffeehouse and getting to know each other briefly in person, Jeff invites Haley back to his place, and it’s not long before Jeff’s underage guest is pouring drinks and posing provocatively for an impromptu photo shoot. As the evening’s questionable activities take a decidedly sordid slant and the raptorial Jeff appears poised to strike, a sudden turn of events finds that his apparent victim has had a plan of her own from the very beginning. The resulting encounter finds the line between predator and prey slipping slowly out of focus in director David Slade’s provocative thriller. In short, Hayley is a bad ass. Thinking about “Hard Candy” got us debating ultra tough kick ass teenage girls and thus a list was born.

Five Bad Ass Teen Girls We Love:

1. Veronica Sawyer from “Heathers”

2. Hit Girl from “Kick Ass”

3. Roxy Richter from “Scott Pilgrim vs. the World”

4. Hayley from “Hard Candy”

5. Shu Lien from “Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon”

“Hard Candy” airs tonight at 8 PM ET and on Thursday, Mar. 8 at 8:05 PM ET

Soap tv show

As the Spoof Turns

15 Hilarious Soap Opera Parodies

Catch the classic sitcom Soap Saturday mornings on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Columbia Pictures Television

The soap opera is the indestructible core of television fandom. We celebrate modern series like The Wire and Breaking Bad with their ongoing storylines, but soap operas have been tangling more plot threads than a quilt for decades. Which is why pop culture enjoys parodying them so much.

Check out some of the funniest soap opera parodies below, and be sure to catch Soap Saturday mornings on IFC.

1. Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman

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Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman was a cult hit soap parody from the mind of Norman Lear that poked daily fun at the genre with epic twists and WTF moments. The first season culminated in a perfect satire of ratings stunts, with Mary being both confined to a psychiatric facility and chosen to be part of a Nielsen ratings family.


2. IKEA Heights

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IKEA Heights proves that the soap opera is alive and well, even if it has to be filmed undercover at a ready-to-assemble furniture store totally unaware of what’s happening. This unique webseries brought the classic formula to a new medium. Even IKEA saw the funny side — but has asked that future filmmakers apply through proper channels.


3. Fresno

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When you’re parodying ’80s nighttime soaps like Dallas and Dynasty , everything about your show has to equally sumptuous. The 1986 CBS miniseries Fresno delivered with a high-powered cast (Carol Burnett, Teri Garr and more in haute couture clothes!) locked in the struggle for the survival of a raisin cartel.


4. Soap

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Soap was the nighttime response to daytime soap operas: a primetime skewering of everything both silly and satisfying about the source material. Plots including demonic possession and alien abduction made it a cult favorite, and necessitated the first televised “viewer discretion” disclaimer. It also broke ground for featuring one of the first gay characters on television in the form of Billy Crystal’s Jodie Dallas. Revisit (or discover for the first time) this classic sitcom every Saturday morning on IFC.


5. Too Many Cooks

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Possibly the most perfect viral video ever made, Too Many Cooks distilled almost every style of television in a single intro sequence. The soap opera elements are maybe the most hilarious, with more characters and sudden shocking twists in an intro than most TV scribes manage in an entire season.


6. Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace

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Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace was more mockery than any one medium could handle. The endless complications of Darkplace Hospital are presented as an ongoing horror soap opera with behind-the-scenes anecdotes from writer, director, star, and self-described “dreamweaver visionary” Garth Marenghi and astoundingly incompetent actor/producer Dean Learner.


7. “Attitudes and Feelings, Both Desirable and Sometimes Secretive,” MadTV

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Soap opera connoisseurs know that the most melodramatic plots are found in Korea. MADtv‘s parody Tae Do  (translation: Attitudes and Feelings, Both Desirable and Sometimes Secretive) features the struggles of mild-mannered characters with far more feelings than their souls, or subtitles, could ever cope with.


8. Twin Peaks

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Twin Peaks, the twisted parody of small town soaps like Peyton Place whose own creator repeatedly insists is not a parody, has endured through pop culture since it changed television forever when it debuted in 1990. The show even had it’s own soap within in a soap called…


9. “Invitation to Love,” Twin Peaks

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Twin Peaks didn’t just parody soap operas — it parodied itself parodying soap operas with the in-universe show Invitation to Love. That’s more layers of deceit and drama than most televised love triangles.


10. “As The Stomach Turns,” The Carol Burnett Show

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The Carol Burnett Show poked fun at soaps with this enduring take on As The World Turns. In a case of life imitating art, one story involving demonic possession would go on to happen for “real” on Days of Our Lives.


11. Days of our Lives (Friends Edition)

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Still airing today, Days of Our Lives is one of the most famous soap operas of all time. They’re also excellent sports, as they allowed Friends star Joey Tribbiani to star as Dr Drake Ramoray, the only doctor to date his own stalker (while pretending to be his own evil twin). And then return after a brain-transplant.

And let’s not forget the greatest soap opera parody line ever written: “Come on Joey, you’re going up against a guy who survived his own cremation!”


12. Acorn Antiques

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First appearing on the BBC sketch comedy series Victoria Wood As Seen on TV, Acorn Antiques combines almost every low-budget soap opera trope into one amazing whole. The staff of a small town antique store suffer a disproportional number of amnesiac love-triangles, while entire storylines suddenly appear and disappear without warning or resolution. Acorn Antiques was so popular, it went on to become a hit West End musical.


13. “Point Place,” That 70s Show

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In a memorable That ’70s Show episode, an unemployed Red is reduced to watching soaps all day. He becomes obsessed despite the usual Red common-sense objections (like complaining that it’s impossible to fall in love with someone in a coma). His dreams render his own life as Point Place, a melodramatic nightmare where Kitty leaves him because he’s unemployed. (Click here to see all airings of That ’70s Show on IFC.)


14. The Spoils of Babylon

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Bursting from the minds of Will Ferrell and creators Andrew Steele and Matt Piedmont, The Spoils of Babylon was a spectacular parody of soap operas and epic mini-series like The Thorn Birds. Taking the parody even further, Ferrell himself played Eric Jonrosh, the author of the book on which the series was based. Jonrosh returned in The Spoils Before Dying, a jazzy murder mystery with its own share of soapy twists and turns.

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15. All My Children Finale, SNL

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SNL‘s final celebration of one of the biggest soaps of all time is interrupted by a relentless series of revelations from stage managers, lighting designers, make-up artists, and more. All of whom seem to have been married to or murdered by (or both) each other.

What to watch on IFC: Feb. 13 – 19

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Here’s what to watch this week on IFC:

Monday

From the guy who brought you “Beavis & Butthead” comes a vision of the future. Selected for a human hibernation project, an average soldier (Luke Wilson) awakens 500 years in the future, where society is so dumbed-down that he is the smartest person alive. “Idiocracy” starts at 8 p.m. ET.

Tuesday

There are a few real love stories in this world and even fewer out of this world. The star-crossed tale of Ellen Ripley and an alien caught with its exoskeleton showing is a love story for the ages, which is why we’re showing “Alien” and “Alien 3″ this Valentine’s Day. Watch them make beautiful music together beginning at 8 p.m. ET.

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Wednesday

Remember back in the early 90s when Kid ‘N Play were cutting edge rappers with cutting edge hair? No? Well let us take you on a trip down memory lane when we show “House Party” at 8/7c. In the movie, two teenage rappers (Kid ‘N Play) try to throw a party despite a trio of rap bullies (Full Force) and the police. It’s a lot of fun, and you’re invited.

Thursday

Before she was in “Juno,” Ellen Page starred in “Hard Candy” as a 14-year-old girl with a serious agenda. She organizes an elaborate plot to punish a pervy fashion photographer (Patrick Wilson) she accuses of pedophilia. Take your position at the edge of your seat at 8/7c.

Friday

Joanna Newsom guest stars on an all new episode of “Portlandia” starts at 10/9 c. Here’s a clip from the show’s second season to remind you that you should be watching.

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Saturday

Shelve your toy soldiers, close your copy of Churchill’s biography, and put your game of Risk on hold for the night, because “The Thin Red Line” starts at 8 p.m. ET. The film tells the story of the men (Sean Penn, Adrien Brody, Jim Caviezel) of Charlie Company as they try to take Guadalcanal Island from the Japanese in World War II.

Sunday

Catch up on the second season of “The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret” when we air the entire series back-to-back. The fun starts at 12/11c with the Increasingly Necessary Todd Margaret Recap special, which looks back at all the bad choices that helped make Todd Margaret the man he is today.

David Bowie Man Who Fell to Earth

Remembering the Starman

Carrie Brownstein, Fred Armisen, Marc Maron and More Pay Tribute to the Great David Bowie

Portlandia returns January 21st at 10P on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection

David Bowie was, is, and forever will be a beacon of art, love, and spirit for people who needed it the most. Those of us who grew up without a sense of belonging, plagued with inhibitions that prevented us from being our true selves for fear of being labeled “weird” or “wrong,” we were graced by an artist who unabashedly proved there is beauty in the weird and never sacrificed a shred of dignity in doing so. Connecting millions of fans, spanning decades, lifting lives through countless personas and styles, Bowie was just one man telling everyone to be themselves.

So it’s no surprise other artists and entertainers who drew so much inspiration from Bowie felt the same gut punch of loss when hearing of his passing. But as soon as grief gives way to solace, and we realize how truly timeless his work is, and just how many people we love also loved him, the world will seem a far less lonely place.

Here are a few shared thoughts and memories from Portlandia stars Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein, Marc Maron and many others whose lives have been affected by the late, great David Bowie.

A photo posted by Fred Armisen (@sordociego) on

Jesus Christ. Goodbye. A photo posted by Carrie Brownstein (@carrie_rachel) on

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