DID YOU READ

“Avengers” boycotters assemble online

MARVEL’S THE AVENGERS

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For most comic book fans, this summer’s “The Avengers” movie is a culmination of a lifelong dream. After decades of page-bound adventures, Captain America, Thor, Iron Man, and The Hulk are teaming up for maybe the biggest comic book movie of all time. One film with all those characters? For the dyed-in-the-tights comic nerd, it almost feels too good to be true.

In a piece over at Slate, cartoonist and columnist James Sturm explains why he thinks it is. His “troubling origins story” behind this summer’s biggest blockbuster details how one of the two men who invented The Avengers as well as most of the individual heroes that make up its ranks, Jack Kirby, receives absolutely no compensation from the film or any of its ancillary products including video games, toys, lunchboxes, and who knows what else. In response, Sturm — a lifelong comic book lover and onetime writer for Marvel — is calling for a boycott.

On the legal front, Kirby’s case against Marvel looks fairly cut and dry, and not in his favor. Sturm says his boycott is the direct result of a failed suit brought by Kirby’s estate (the artist himself passed away in 1994) against Marvel/Disney for control of his creations. When Kirby was “The King” of Marvel’s Bullpen, he was employed under a work for hire agreement, which meant everything he made belonged to he company. Kirby’s deal might have been lucrative for the time and the short-term, but that was before comics became a multibillion dollar licensing empire. When those revenue streams began to emerge, Marvel worked to maintain their grip on Kirby’s creations by forcing him to sign over more rights in exchange for the return of his original artwork (original artwork, Kirby advocates would argue, that should have already belonged to him in the first place).

In the intervening years, Kirby’s chief collaborator, Stan Lee, has remained Marvel’s gregarious figurehead. Even as he spends most of his time these days dreaming up new characters for partners like the NHL and Archie, Marvel still pays him a hefty annual salary just to play the role of the cheerful, ebullient public face of the company. Kirby’s family gets nothing. Even if it’s legal — and it is — that doesn’t necessarily make it right. Or, as Sturm puts it:

“What makes this situation especially hard to stomach is that Marvel’s media empire was built on the backs of characters whose defining trait as superheroes is the willingness to fight for what is right. It takes a lot of corporate moxie to put Thor and Captain America on the big screen and have them battle for honor and justice when behind the scenes the parent company acts like a cold-blooded supervillain. As Stan Lee famously wrote, ‘With great power comes great responsibility.'”

As a fan of Marvel Comics, that is tough to read. A lifetime of super-hero stories has sutured those characters’ moral code right into the fiber of my DNA. I was raised on Lee and Kirby’s work, and it continues to resonate with me to this day. My dog Kirby sure as hell ain’t named after a vacuum cleaner.

Is a boycott the right thing to do? I don’t know (if you think it is, there’s an online petition you might want to sign). And even if it is, I’m doubtful it would be effective. The hardcore comic book audience is loyal, vocal, and relatively small. When they set their minds (and their wallets) to something, they can usually get the publishers to listen. But “The Avengers” will be sold to a mass audience many times larger than comics fandom. Even if every comic buyer boycotted “The Avengers,” the film could still turn a profit many times over from ticket sales to average joes who, as Sturm puts it, don’t care how the sausages get made.

Instead of a boycott, I’d personally rather do something positive. I wish Sturm had suggested some alternative means of fans directly supporting the Kirby estate. Maybe that’s by buying the latest book from Kirby’s own company, Genesis West. Or maybe that’s by donating to The Jack Kirby Museum. If I could find a way to enjoy “The Avengers” and give back to the man who helped make it all possible at the same time, that would really be too good to be true.

Do you think Jack Kirby’s estate should be compensated for the success of “The Avengers?” Tell us in the comments below or write to us on Facebook and Twitter.

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Very NSFW

The Brockmire Premiere Is All Truth

Watch The First Episode of Brockmire Right Now for Free

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GIFS via Giphy

At long last, the Brockmire pre-premiere has arrived. Which means you can watch it right now—on IFC.com, at Funny Or Die, on IFC’s Apple TV and mobile apps, on Youtube, on Facebook, on the AMC apps, and right here. So grab some headphones and get watching.

No seriously, get headphones.

Because whether he’s giving a play-by-play or ruminating on the world around him, Jim Brockmire calls it like he sees it. And how he sees it is very NSFW. His take on life is actually quite refreshing, even to the point of being profoundly sage. For proof just look at these pearls of unconventional wisdom from the premiere…

Brockmire On The Internet

“If I need porn I just buy a nudie mag, like my father and his father before him.”

Brockmire On Sex-Ed

“Kids, a strap-on is a belt with d— on it that mommies use to f— daddies.”
Brockmire-Strap-On

Brockmire On The Perfect High

“Somewhere between 10 cups of coffee and very low-grade cocaine.”
Brockmire-Perfect-High

Brockmire On The Tardiness of Spring

“Old man winter’s reaching his hand inside your coat to give that thing one more squeeze.”

Brockmire On Keeping Perspective

“I thought I hit rock bottom in a handicap restroom in Bangkok where a Thai lady-boy snorted crank off my johnson while a sunburnt German watched us on the toilet”
Brockmire-grain-salt

Brockmire On Humanity

“If you want to look directly into the gaping maw of oblivion, don’t look up to the heavens. Just look in the mirror.”
Jules-never-seen

See these nuggets and more in the first episode of Brockmire, and see the whole season beginning April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Thank Azaria

Best. Characters. Ever.

Our favorite Hank Azaria characters.

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Hank Azaria may well be the most prolific voice and character actor of our time. The work he’s done for The Simpsons alone has earned him a permanent place in the pop culture zeitgeist. And now he’s bringing another character to the mainstream: a washed-up sports announcer named Jim Brockmire, in the aptly titled new series Brockmire.

We’re looking forward to it. So much so that we want to look backward, too, with a short-but-sweet retrospective of some of Azaria’s important characters. Shall we begin?

Half The Recurring Simpsons Characters

He’s Comic Book Guy. He’s Chief Wiggum. He’s Apu. He’s Cletus. He’s Snake. He’s Superintendent Chalmers. He’s the Sea Captain. He’s Kurt “Can I Borrow A Feeling” Van Houten. He’s Professor Frink. He’s Carl. And he’s many more. But most importantly he’s Moe Szyslak, the staple character Azaria has voiced since his very first audition for The Simpsons.

Oh, and He’s Frank Grimes

For all the regular Simpsons characters Azaria has played over the years, his most brilliant performance may have been a one-off: Frank Grimes, the scrappy bootstrapper who worked tirelessly all his life for honest, incremental, and easily-undermined success. Azaria’s portrayal of this character was nuanced, emotional, and simply magical.

Patches O’Houlihan

Dodgeball is a “sport of violence, exclusion and degradation.” as Hank Azaria generously points out in his brief but crucial cameo in Dodgeball. That’s sage wisdom. Try applying his “five D’s” to your life on and off the court and enjoy the results.

Harold Zoid

Of Futurama fame. The crazy uncle of Dr. Zoidberg, Harold Zoid was once a lion (or lobster) of the silver screen until Smell-o-vision forced him into retirement.

Agador

The Birdcage was significant for many reasons, and the comic genius of Hank Azaria’s character “Agador” sits somewhere towards the top of that list. If you haven’t seen this movie, shame on you.

Gargamel

Nobody else could make a live-action Gargamel possible.

Ed Cochran

From Ray Donovan. Great character, great last name [editorial note: the author of this article may be bias].

Kahmunra, The Thinker, Abe Lincoln

All in the Night At The Museum: Battle Of The Smithsonian, a file that let Azaria flex his voice acting and live-action muscles in one fell swoop.

The Blue Raja

Mystery Men has everything, including a fatal case of Smash Mouth. Azaria’s iconic superhero makes the shortlist of redeemable qualities, though.

Dr. Huff

Huff put Azaria in a leading role, and it was good. So good that there is no good gif of it. Internet? More like Inter-not.

Learn more about Hank Azaria’s newest claim to fame right here, and don’t miss the premiere of Brockmire April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Flame Out

Brockmire and Other Public Implosions

Brockmire Premieres April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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There’s less than a month until the Brockmire premiere, and to say we’re excited would be an insulting understatement. It’s not just that it stars Hank Azaria, who can do no wrong (and yes, that’s including Mystery Men, which is only cringeworthy because of Smash Mouth). It’s that the whole backstory of the titular character, Jim Brockmire, is the stuff of legends. A one-time iconic sportscaster who won the hearts of fans and players alike, he fell from grace after an unfortunate personal event triggered a seriously public meltdown. See for yourself in the NSFW Funny or Die digital short that spawned the IFC series:

See? NSFW and spectacularly catastrophic in a way that could almost be real. Which got us thinking: What are some real-life sports fails that have nothing to do with botched athletics and everything to do with going tragically off script? The internet is a dark and dirty place, friends, but these three examples are pretty special and mostly safe for work…

Disgruntled Sports Reporter

His co-anchor went offsides and he called it like he saw it.

Jim Rome vs Jim “Not Chris” Everett

You just don’t heckle a professional athlete when you’re within striking distance. Common sense.

Carl Lewis’s National Anthem

He killed it! As in murdered. It’s dead.

To see more moments just like these, we recommend spending a day in your pajamas combing through the muckiness of the internet. But to see something that’s Brockmire-level funny without having to clear your browser history, check out the sneak peeks and extras here.

Don’t miss the premiere of Brockmire April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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