DID YOU READ

The top 10 prophecies in movies

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The year 2012 means terrible things for people who believe that the world will end along with the Mayan calendar on December 21. Thankfully, we have decades of movies to look back on and learn how to deal with whatever the apocalypse has to throw at us.

Biblical prophecies, Mayan prophecies and Jedi prophecies have all contributed to a rich legacy of cryptic future-telling in film, and whether or not they all came true, we love it when Roland Emmerich and Bruce Willis show us how things play out.

Depending on the source, Earth may overheat, its civilizations could crumble or the entire planet might just pop like a real-life Alderaan by the end of the year. So if end-of-the-world prophecies have you feeling glum, kick back and remember that our ten favorite movie prophecies were all make believe.


10. The coming of the Great Evil, “The Fifth Element” (1994)

Every 5,000 years, Earth has to deal with a destructive force that could end life as we know it, and this time around, Korben Dallas (Bruce Willis) and Leeloo (Milla Jovovich) are all that stand in its way. As far as apocalyptic events go, you can do a lot worse than Jovovich, and the film has an all-too-brief Luke Perry cameo to boot.


9. The Antichrist, “The Omen” (1976)

When it comes to the spawn of Satan, those of us who survived the turn of the millennium in 2000 will always be forced to remember “Little Nicky.” Luckily, however, we’ll always have “The Omen” as well. You just can’t replicate the ‘70s-style thrill ride that director Richard Donner’s film brought to theaters—though John Moore did try in 2006.


8. Satan’s child, “End of Days” (1999)

Far less subtle than “The Omen,” this explosion-fest heralded the arrival of the end times as only a movie starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and directed by Peter Hyams (the guy who made “Timecop”) could. The result turned out to be one of the most gratuitously violent romps of Schwarzenegger’s career, but it also gave us a lot to be thankful for when the year 2000 arrived without incident.


7. The Rapture, “Left Behind” (2001)

Buck Williams (Kirk Cameron) may not have been God-fearing enough to make it straight to paradise when all of the holiest people in the world vanished one day. He was lucky enough to have two sinful pilots flying his plane, though. Unfortunately, we were all punished with two long, grinding “Left Behind” films before President Louis Gossett Jr. arrived to help things move along in the third act.


6. The destruction of the Mayans, “Apocalypto” (2006)

Director Mel Gibson undertook one of the more noble feats of his career when he went back in time to get at the drama behind a previous, localized Mayan apocalypse. And we’ll say one thing for sure about his directing—Gibson knows how to make a little girl seem super creepy when she foretells the end of everything.

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Millennial Wisdom

Charles Speaks For Us All

Get to know Charles, the social media whiz of Brockmire.

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He may be an unlikely radio producer Brockmire, but Charles is #1 when it comes to delivering quips that tie a nice little bow on the absurdity of any given situation.

Charles also perfectly captures the jaded outlook of Millennials. Or at least Millennials as mythologized by marketers and news idiots. You know who you are.

Played superbly by Tyrel Jackson Williams, Charles’s quippy nuggets target just about any subject matter, from entry-level jobs in social media (“I plan on getting some experience here, then moving to New York to finally start my life.”) to the ramifications of fictional celebrity hookups (“Drake and Taylor Swift are dating! Albums y’all!”). But where he really nails the whole Millennial POV thing is when he comments on America’s second favorite past-time after type II diabetes: baseball.

Here are a few pearls.

On Baseball’s Lasting Cultural Relevance

“Baseball’s one of those old-timey things you don’t need anymore. Like cursive. Or email.”

On The Dramatic Value Of Double-Headers

“The only thing dumber than playing two boring-ass baseball games in one day is putting a two-hour delay between the boring-ass games.”

On Sartorial Tradition

“Is dressing badly just a thing for baseball, because that would explain his jacket.”

On Baseball, In A Nutshell

“Baseball is a f-cked up sport, and I want you to know it.”


Learn more about Charles in the behind-the-scenes video below.

And if you were born before the late ’80s and want to know what the kids think about Baseball, watch Brockmire Wednesdays at 10P on IFC.

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Crown Jules

Amanda Peet FTW on Brockmire

Amanda Peet brings it on Brockmire Wednesday at 10P on IFC.

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On Brockmire, Jules is the unexpected yin to Jim Brockmire’s yang. Which is saying a lot, because Brockmire’s yang is way out there. Played by Amanda Peet, Jules is hard-drinking, truth-spewing, baseball-loving…everything Brockmire is, and perhaps what he never expected to encounter in another human.

“We’re the same level of functional alcoholic.”


But Jules takes that commonality and transforms it into something special: a new beginning. A new beginning for failing minor league baseball team “The Frackers”, who suddenly about-face into a winning streak; and a new beginning for Brockmire, whose life gets a jumpstart when Jules lures him back to baseball. As for herself, her unexpected connection with Brockmire gives her own life a surprising and much needed goose.

“You’re a Goddamn Disaster and you’re starting To look good to me.”

This palpable dynamic adds depth and complexity to the narrative and pushes the series far beyond expected comedy. See for yourself in this behind-the-scenes video (and brace yourself for a unforgettable description of Brockmire’s genitals)…

Want more about Amanda Peet? She’s all over the place, and has even penned a recent self-reflective piece in the New York Times.

And of course you can watch the Jim-Jules relationship hysterically unfold in new episodes of Brockmire, every Wednesday at 10PM on IFC.

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Draught Pick

Sam Adams “Keeps It Brockmire”

All New Brockmire airs Wednesdays at 10P on IFC.

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From baseball to beer, Jim Brockmire calls ’em like he sees ’em.

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It’s no wonder at all, then, that Sam Adams would reach out to Brockmire to be their shockingly-honest (and inevitably short-term) new spokesperson. Unscripted and unrestrained, he’ll talk straight about Sam—and we’ll take his word. Check out this new testimonial for proof:

See more Brockmire Wednesdays at 10P on IFC, presented by Samuel Adams. Good f***** beer.

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