DID YOU READ

“Tim and Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie” – First impressions from the Sundance world premiere

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By Jordan Hoffman

Not since John Waters’ “Desperate Living” has a feature film ever been more dedicated to stream-of-consciousness shock humor as Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim’s “Tim and Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie.” It will simultaneously blow your mind and test your patience, offering bathtubs full of gross-outs, character oddities, baffling post-production tweaks, and, on occasion, some really well-crafted jokes. It is hilarious and innovative, but relentless and exhausting, and will no doubt cause even their greatest supporters to wonder if the fifteen minute format of their “Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!” might be the perfect clay from which they should sculpt.

The film opens with the greatest series of false starts since “Monty Python and the Holy Grail,” but once the story gets rolling our two idiot heroes find themselves in debt to a gangster-businessman played by Robert Loggia after blowing a billion dollars on an awful three minute movie. After a night of hard drinking and body piercing they look to the sky and see their future in the stars: Doing Business.

Doing Business is shortened to DOBIS, a word that is said roughly seven hundred and fifty thousand times in the film (and it gets funnier every time.) DOBIS is a PR consulting firm (or something) and a whacked out, “Top Gun”-loving Will Ferrell convinces then they will find fortune by turning around a decrepit, 1980s looking mall.

The mall, which is overrun by an angry wolf, is a collection of horrible shops like a used toilet paper store and a restaurant where they only serve bread. It’s a perfect way to incorporate the sketch comedy feel into this loose narrative. (Well, that as well as fourth-wall breaking cheap informercials to help you “Learn From Your Film.”)

Some of the sketches are more creative than others, but all of them are funny. And herein lies the problem. “Tim and Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie” is in desperate need of cutting, but I would have no idea what to cut. There’s an “in for a penny, in for a pound” type of deal you have to make with yourself when you watch a type of movie like this.

I’d say that perhaps it is a movie best seen at home, where you can pause the DVD and take a break for a while, but then you would miss out on the thrills of a group experience. Watching the silhouettes of the older couple in front of me who were NOT amused by the spiritual healing via teen diarrhea is something I’ll treasure for quite some time.

My experience with this ludicrous movie began in an appropriate manner. Prior to the big midnight premiere the film’s publicity team threw a rather swank dinner at a hotel atop a giant mountain, then gave some of us a lift in a brightly lit karaoke RV. It got into a light fender bender along the way so we had to hoof in the snow while someone else dealt with the cops.

During the post-screening Q & A Eric was stunned that he counted only six walkouts, and Tim expressed nothing but self-deprecating apologies. Some of the questions got a little silly, like a mom asking if Tim & Eric would sign her son’s nipples, and Tim joked that, “Hey, this was Sundance, maybe ask me what my favorite Godard film is?”

As the crowd filed out, it was clear that the reaction was mixed. Die-hard fans were gleeful and already quoting the film. But one woman looked clearly disgusted and was overheard saying, “They lost me with the masturbation scene.”

Are you looking forward to checking out “Tim and Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie”? Let us know in the comments below, or on Facebook or Twitter.

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Brock Hard

Brockmire’s Guide To Grabbing Life By The D***

Catch up on the full season of Brockmire now.

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“Lucy, put supper on the stove, my dear, because this ballgame is over!”

Brockmire has officially closed out its rookie season. Miss the finale episode? A handful of episodes? The whole blessed season?? You can see it all from the beginning, starting right here.

And you should get started, because every minute you spend otherwise will be a minute spent not living your best life. That’s right, there are very important life lessons that Brockmire hid in plain sight—lessons that, when applied thoughtfully, can improve every aspect of your awesome existence. Let’s dive into some sage nuggets from what we call the Book of Jim.

Life Should Be Spiked, Not Watered Down.

That’s not just a fancy metaphor. As Brockmire points out, water tastes “awful. 70% of the water is made up of that shit?” Life is short, water sucks, live like you mean it.

There Are Only Three Types of People

“Poor people, rich people and famous people. Rich people are just poor people with money, so the only worthwhile thing is being famous.” So next time your rich friends act all high and mighty, politely remind them that they’re worthless in the eyes of even the most minor celebrities.

There’s Always A Reason To Get Out Of Bed

And 99% of the time that reason is the urge to pee. It’s nature’s way of saying “seize the day.”

There’s More To Life Than Playing Games

“Baseball can’t compete with p0rnography. Nothing can.” Nothing you do or ever will do can be more important to people than p0rn. Get off your high horse.

A Little Empathy Goes A Long Way

Especially if you’ve taken someone else’s Plan B by mistake.

Our Weaknesses Can Be Our Greatest Strengths

Tyrion Lannister said something similar. Hard to tell who said it with more colorful profanity. Wise sentiments all around.

Big Things Come To Those Who Wait

When you’re looking for a sign, the universe will drop you a big one. You’re the sh*t, universe.

And Of Course…

Need more life lessons from the Book of Jim? Catch up on Brockmire on the IFC App.

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Oh Mama

Mommie May I?

Mommie Dearest Is On Repeat All Mothers Day Long On IFC

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The cult-classic movie Mommie Dearest is a game-changer. If you’ve seen it even just once (but come on, who sees it just once?), then you already know what we’re talking about.

But if you haven’t seen it, then let us break it down for you. Really quick, we promise, we’ll even list things out to spare you the reading of a paragraph:

1. It’s the 1981 biopic based on the memoir of Christina Crawford, Hollywood icon Joan Crawford’s adopted daughter.
2. Faye Dunaway plays Joan. And boy does she play her. Loud and over-reactive.
3. It was intended as a drama, but…
4. Waaaaaay over-the-top performances and bargain-basement dialogue rendered it an accidental comedy.
5. It’s a cult classic, and you’re the last person to see it.

Not sold? Don’t believe it’s going to change your life? Ok, maybe over-the-top acting isn’t your thing, or perhaps you don’t like the lingering electricity of a good primal scream, or Joan Crawford is your personal icon and you can’t bear to see her cast in such a creepy light.

But none of that matters.

What’s important is that seeing this movie gives you permission to react to minor repeat annoyances with unrestrained histrionics.

That there is a key moment. Is she crazy? Yeah. But she’s also right. Shoulder nipples are horrible, wire hangers are the worst, and yelling about it feels strangely justified. She did it, we can do it. Precedent set. You’re welcome.

So what else can we yell about? Channel your inner Joan and consider the following list offenses when choosing your next meltdown.

Improperly Hung Toilet Paper

Misplaced Apostrophes

Coldplay at Karaoke

Dad Jokes

Gluten Free Pizza

James Franco

The list of potential pedestrian grievances is actually quite daunting, but when IFC airs Mommie Dearest non-stop for a full day, you’ll have 24 bonus hours to mull it over. 24 bonus hours to nail that lunatic shriek. 24 bonus hours to remember that, really, your mom is comparatively the best.

So please, celebrate Mother’s Day with Mommie Dearest on IFC and at IFC.com. And for the love of god—NO WIRE HANGERS EVER.

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Breaking News

From Canada With Love

Baroness von Sketch Show premieres this summer on IFC.

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Breaking news that (finally) isn’t apocalyptic!

IFC announced today that it acquired acclaimed Canadian comedy series Baroness von Sketch Show, slated to make its US of A premiere this summer. And yes, it’s important to note that it’s a Canadian sketch comedy series, because Canada is currently a shining beacon of civilization in the western hemisphere, and Baroness von Sketch Show reflects that light in every way possible.

The series is fronted entirely by women, which isn’t unusual in the sketch comedy world but is quite rare in the televised sketch comedy world. Punchy, smart, and provocative, each episode of Baroness von Sketch Show touches upon outrageous-yet-relatable real world subjects in ways both unexpected and deeply satisfying: soccer moms, awkward office birthday parties, being over 40 in a gym locker room…dry shampoo…

Indiewire called it “The Best Comedy You’ve Never Seen” and The National Post said that it’s “the funniest thing on Canadian television since Kids In The Hall.” And that’s saying a lot, because Canadians are goddamn hilarious.

Get a good taste of BVSS in the following sketch, which envisions a future Global Summit run entirely by women. It’s a future we’re personally ready for.

Baroness Von Sketch Show premieres later this summer on IFC.

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