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Sneaky Previews: Beware the trailer for “The Grey”

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“The Grey” with Liam Neeson opens this weekend. It’s a good movie. I’m just not sure it’s this movie:

When that trailer hit the Internet a few months ago “The Grey” quickly garnered a jokey reputation online as “The Movie Where Liam Neeson Punches Wolves.” I don’t really want to spoil the film for you, but I almost have if you’re going to enjoy this thing. If you’re planning to go to “The Grey” because you want to watch Liam Neeson beat the shit out of a pack of of wolves, you are going to be sorely disappointed. Last year, a woman sued the makers of the film “Drive” because she found its trailer “misleading.” If that woman sees “The Grey” based on its trailer she might try to sue the entire film industry.

The trailer’s not really misleading per se; (just about) everything you see in it, along with Neeson’s stoic voiceover, does appear in the final film. It’s not so much the details that the trailer gets wrong, it’s the tone. The aggro music, the shots of Neeson running and screaming with broken liquor bottles taped to his knuckles like a drunk trying to imitate Wolverine, it all suggests an intense and slightly cartoonish action spectacular. Which is pretty much what you expect from Neeson and director Joe Carnahan. The last project these two made together was the big-screen adaptation of “The A-Team.” After you’ve had a tank fight a plane in mid-air, what’s a little wolf punching between friends?

In reality, though, “The Grey” is one of the darkest movies to come out of Hollywood in a very long time. A plane carrying Neeson and the employees of an Alaskan oil refinery goes down in the middle of nowhere, and the few survivors need to band together to find their way back to civilization and, yes, fight off some very angry wolves. But the film is less about action than philosophy — about what it means to be alive and why we struggle so mightily against death. It’s structured like a survival horror film — a large cast is whittled down one by one — but Carnahan doesn’t fetishize death the way a survival horror movie would. Instead, he brings us into the lives of the characters, who are fully formed and painfully real. And when they die, brutally and mercilessly, it hurts.

This is a sad, powerful film. It sticks to your ribs like a good meal. You’ll be carrying it around with you for days. But it ain’t what the studio’s selling, namely The Movie Where Liam Neeson Punches Wolves. Is that a problem?

I say it is and it isn’t. On the one hand, if you saw “The Grey” because of that trailer and felt ripped off afterwards, I’d be hard-pressed to argue with you. On some level, that trailer is a bait-and-switch. It’s not particularly cool to promise folks one movie and give them another, even if the movie you actually give them is deeply moving and totally satisfying, albeit in a completely different way.

On the other hand, if there’s anything worse than a trailer like the one for “The Grey” it’s a trailer that’s the exact opposite of the one for “The Grey;” in other words, a trailer that spoils everything. This is a subject we’ve discussed a couple of times on IFC.com, most prominently in this list of trailers that totally give away the ending of the movie. Though spoiling your own movie seems like a terrible idea, the strategy has occasionally worked, most famously with Tom Hanks’ “Cast Away.” The trailer revealed the fact that — SPOILER ALERT, WHICH IS MORE THAN THE TRAILER GAVE YOU — Hanks manages to escape the island on which he gets stranded (just like “The Grey,” the film takes place in the wake of a harrowing plane crash). The trailer couldn’t have been more clear that Hanks survived his ordeal and returned to to civilization. The film still made over $400 million worldwide.

But why? Why pay for a movie whose outcome you already know? It was a question that vexed me when I wrote that list. Here’s the answer I finally came up with: many audiences aren’t going to movies for entertainment, they’re going for reassurance. They don’t even want the happy ending — they need the happy ending. They need to be coddled and comforted and told that even if you get stuck on an island with a volleyball as your only friend you needn’t worry because somehow you’ll make it home okay. And more than needing it — they need to know that’s waiting for them in the theater before they pay for the ticket. If there’s a chance Tom Hanks dies, they don’t want to go. Life’s tough enough already. They don’t need that heartache.

So maybe that’s what “The Grey”‘s trailer is — not really misleading as much as it is reassuring. If we’re going to watch people get threatened by wolves, we need to be sure Liam Neeson will be there, bottle claws and all, to protect them. The problem here is that “The Grey” itself doesn’t really believe in reassurances. In Carnahan’s view, you can be a good person, you can have a beautiful family, you can cry to God all you want, but when those wolves come, no amount of single serving liquor will protect you. It’s a profound statement. But profound statements don’t put asses in the seats like guarantees do.

I can’t guarantee you’ll like “The Grey,” but I think you will. I can guarantee you ain’t gonna see much wolf punching. Proceed accordingly.

Did the trailer of “The Grey” make you want to see the movie? Tell us what you think in the comments below or on Facebook and Twitter.

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Brock Hard

Brockmire’s Guide To Grabbing Life By The D***

Catch up on the full season of Brockmire now.

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“Lucy, put supper on the stove, my dear, because this ballgame is over!”

Brockmire has officially closed out its rookie season. Miss the finale episode? A handful of episodes? The whole blessed season?? You can see it all from the beginning, starting right here.

And you should get started, because every minute you spend otherwise will be a minute spent not living your best life. That’s right, there are very important life lessons that Brockmire hid in plain sight—lessons that, when applied thoughtfully, can improve every aspect of your awesome existence. Let’s dive into some sage nuggets from what we call the Book of Jim.

Life Should Be Spiked, Not Watered Down.

That’s not just a fancy metaphor. As Brockmire points out, water tastes “awful. 70% of the water is made up of that shit?” Life is short, water sucks, live like you mean it.

There Are Only Three Types of People

“Poor people, rich people and famous people. Rich people are just poor people with money, so the only worthwhile thing is being famous.” So next time your rich friends act all high and mighty, politely remind them that they’re worthless in the eyes of even the most minor celebrities.

There’s Always A Reason To Get Out Of Bed

And 99% of the time that reason is the urge to pee. It’s nature’s way of saying “seize the day.”

There’s More To Life Than Playing Games

“Baseball can’t compete with p0rnography. Nothing can.” Nothing you do or ever will do can be more important to people than p0rn. Get off your high horse.

A Little Empathy Goes A Long Way

Especially if you’ve taken someone else’s Plan B by mistake.

Our Weaknesses Can Be Our Greatest Strengths

Tyrion Lannister said something similar. Hard to tell who said it with more colorful profanity. Wise sentiments all around.

Big Things Come To Those Who Wait

When you’re looking for a sign, the universe will drop you a big one. You’re the sh*t, universe.

And Of Course…

Need more life lessons from the Book of Jim? Catch up on Brockmire on the IFC App.

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Oh Mama

Mommie May I?

Mommie Dearest Is On Repeat All Mothers Day Long On IFC

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The cult-classic movie Mommie Dearest is a game-changer. If you’ve seen it even just once (but come on, who sees it just once?), then you already know what we’re talking about.

But if you haven’t seen it, then let us break it down for you. Really quick, we promise, we’ll even list things out to spare you the reading of a paragraph:

1. It’s the 1981 biopic based on the memoir of Christina Crawford, Hollywood icon Joan Crawford’s adopted daughter.
2. Faye Dunaway plays Joan. And boy does she play her. Loud and over-reactive.
3. It was intended as a drama, but…
4. Waaaaaay over-the-top performances and bargain-basement dialogue rendered it an accidental comedy.
5. It’s a cult classic, and you’re the last person to see it.

Not sold? Don’t believe it’s going to change your life? Ok, maybe over-the-top acting isn’t your thing, or perhaps you don’t like the lingering electricity of a good primal scream, or Joan Crawford is your personal icon and you can’t bear to see her cast in such a creepy light.

But none of that matters.

What’s important is that seeing this movie gives you permission to react to minor repeat annoyances with unrestrained histrionics.

That there is a key moment. Is she crazy? Yeah. But she’s also right. Shoulder nipples are horrible, wire hangers are the worst, and yelling about it feels strangely justified. She did it, we can do it. Precedent set. You’re welcome.

So what else can we yell about? Channel your inner Joan and consider the following list offenses when choosing your next meltdown.

Improperly Hung Toilet Paper

Misplaced Apostrophes

Coldplay at Karaoke

Dad Jokes

Gluten Free Pizza

James Franco

The list of potential pedestrian grievances is actually quite daunting, but when IFC airs Mommie Dearest non-stop for a full day, you’ll have 24 bonus hours to mull it over. 24 bonus hours to nail that lunatic shriek. 24 bonus hours to remember that, really, your mom is comparatively the best.

So please, celebrate Mother’s Day with Mommie Dearest on IFC and at IFC.com. And for the love of god—NO WIRE HANGERS EVER.

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Breaking News

From Canada With Love

Baroness von Sketch Show premieres this summer on IFC.

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Breaking news that (finally) isn’t apocalyptic!

IFC announced today that it acquired acclaimed Canadian comedy series Baroness von Sketch Show, slated to make its US of A premiere this summer. And yes, it’s important to note that it’s a Canadian sketch comedy series, because Canada is currently a shining beacon of civilization in the western hemisphere, and Baroness von Sketch Show reflects that light in every way possible.

The series is fronted entirely by women, which isn’t unusual in the sketch comedy world but is quite rare in the televised sketch comedy world. Punchy, smart, and provocative, each episode of Baroness von Sketch Show touches upon outrageous-yet-relatable real world subjects in ways both unexpected and deeply satisfying: soccer moms, awkward office birthday parties, being over 40 in a gym locker room…dry shampoo…

Indiewire called it “The Best Comedy You’ve Never Seen” and The National Post said that it’s “the funniest thing on Canadian television since Kids In The Hall.” And that’s saying a lot, because Canadians are goddamn hilarious.

Get a good taste of BVSS in the following sketch, which envisions a future Global Summit run entirely by women. It’s a future we’re personally ready for.

Baroness Von Sketch Show premieres later this summer on IFC.

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