DID YOU READ

Ferris Bueller could use another day off

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Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. And then when you do finally stop and look around, your childhood idols are doing commercials for compact SUVs. And they’re doing them as the rebellious character that made them your childhood idol. Life moves pretty fast all right, and it is freaking weird.

A week before it’s scheduled to play during the Super Bowl, Honda premiered an extended cut of its “Matthew’s Day Off” ad on YouTube. The 2:30 short, directed by “The Hangover”‘s Todd Phillips, features actor Matthew Broderick riffing on his iconic character from 1986’s “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhkDdayA4iA

Whether you like the ad or not, it’s got the entire Internet talking about Honda and it’s already been viewed over 1.8 million times on YouTube — a hefty number of eyeballs delivered at a fraction of the cost of a Super Bowl ad. It’s also been posted and dissected on film sites all over the Internet (including this one, obviously). That’s more free advertising. That’s why, in my opinion, debating the quality of the ad is irrelevant. Whether you like it or not, it worked. That much is done with.

So it’s a good ad. But is it a good sequel? Well, no. Broderick’s on hand, along with that insidiously catchy theme song, but where’s the rest of the cast? Without Alan Ruck moping around as Cameron, or Jeffrey Jones skulking through the Buellers’ backyard as the scheming Principal Rooney, or Charlie Sheen proving his range as a doped-up delinquent, it’s just not the same. You’ve got Ferris Bueller, but you don’t have “Ferris Bueller” (you also don’t have the man who wrote and directed “Ferris Bueller,” since John Hughes tragically passed away in 2009). Not to mention that the CR-V, handsome vehicle though it might be, is no vintage Ferrari. Plus it doesn’t even get dropped out of an austere, modern, and totally non-functional garage or anything.

In a way, though, I’m glad this commercial exists. When Honda leaked a ten second tease of “Matthew’s Day Off,” the Internet almost literally exploded (the tease has already been viewed more than 4.5 million times on YouTube). Sites posted breathless hypotheses (like this one) speculating as to the nature of Ferris’ return. It turned out to be this ad (in which, let’s note, the words “Ferris” or “Bueller” are not uttered a single time). But it could have been a sequel; a sequel that, apparently, many people would have been excited to see.


Hopefully this commercial, effective and clever though it might be, kills any notion that such a sequel would be a good idea. Ferris Bueller not only doesn’t need a sequel, he couldn’t bear one. I love the film so much myself I can understand the desire to find out where Ferris, Cameron, and Sloane wound up — or even to want to just hang out with them for one more day. But look at Matthew Broderick now. Slightly plump, slightly balding, talking with that slightly affected delivery he’s used in every performance he’s given since 1995. This guy isn’t Ferris Bueller anymore. Ferris Bueller is a teenager; maybe the teenager, as far as the movies are concerned. To force him to age would sully the perfection of his magical (and, thanks to the movies, eternal) adolescence.

A sequel now would destroy the brilliant achievement of the first film. That’s what invariably happens with any sequel set well after the original movie. The classic example is “Blues Brothers 2000.” Eighteen years after the original movie, sixteen years after John Belushi’s death, they dusted off Dan Aykroyd and the rest of the Blues Brothers band, threw a cutesy kid into the mix, and danced all over the memory of the first masterpiece. “Blues Brothers 2000” didn’t “rape my childhood” or anything nonsensically hyperbolic like that. But it did take a little of the luster off the first movie. When you think about “Blues Brothers” you have to avoid thinking about “Blues Brothers 2000.” I don’t want to have to do that with “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.”

Still not convinced? Take a look at the other “Ferris Bueller” project that was made without Hughes’ involvement, the short-lived “Ferris Bueller” TV show. The ad is fine. But we should all let Ferris Bueller enjoy many days off — every day off until the end of time.

Do you still want to see a “Ferris Bueller” sequel? Even though we think you’re crazy, we still want to hear why — tell us in the comments below or on Facebook and Twitter.

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Hard Out

Comedy From The Closet

Janice and Jeffrey Available Now On IFC's Comedy Crib

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She’s been referred to as “the love child of Amy Sedaris and Tracy Ullman,” and he’s a self-described “Italian who knows how to cook a great spaghetti alla carbonara.” They’re Mollie Merkel and Matteo Lane, prolific indie comedians who blended their robust creative juices to bring us the new Comedy Crib series Janice and Jeffrey. Mollie and Matteo took time to answer our probing questions about their series and themselves. Here’s a taste.

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IFC: How would you describe Janice and Jeffrey to a fancy network executive you met in an elevator?

Mollie & Matteo: Janice and Jeffrey is about a married couple experiencing intimacy issues but who don’t have a clue it’s because they are gay. Their oblivion makes them even more endearing.  Their total lack of awareness provides for a buffet of comedy.

IFC: What’s your origin story? How did you two people meet and how long have you been working together?

Mollie: We met at a dive bar in Wrigley Field Chicago. It was a show called Entertaining Julie… It was a cool variety scene with lots of talented people. I was doing Janice one night and Matteo was doing an impression of Liza Minnelli. We sort of just fell in love with each other’s… ACT! Matteo made the first move and told me how much he loved Janice and I drove home feeling like I just met someone really special.

IFC: How would Janice describe Jeffrey?

Mollie: “He can paint, cook homemade Bolognese, and sing Opera. Not to mention he has a great body. He makes me feel empowered and free. He doesn’t suffocate me with attention so our love has room to breath.”

IFC: How would Jeffrey describe Janice?

Matteo: “Like a Ford. Built to last.”

IFC: Why do you think the world is ready for this series?

Mollie & Matteo: Our current political world is mirroring and reflecting this belief that homosexuality is wrong. So what better time for satire. Everyone is so pro gay and equal rights, which is of course what we want, too. But no one is looking at middle America and people actually in the closet. No one is saying, hey this is really painful and tragic, and sitting with that. Having compassion but providing the desperate relief of laughter…This seemed like the healthiest, best way to “fight” the gay rights “fight”.

IFC: Hummus is hilarious. Why is it so funny?

Mollie: It just seems like something people take really seriously, which is funny to me. I started to see it in a lot of lesbians’ refrigerators at a time. It’s like observing a lesbian in a comfortable shoe. It’s a language we speak. Pass the Hummus. Turn on the Indigo Girls would ya?

See the whole season of Janice and Jeffrey right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

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Die Hard Dads

Inspiration For Die Hard Dads

Die Hard is on IFC all Father's Day Long

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIPHY

Yippee ki-yay, everybody! It’s time to celebrate the those most literal of mother-effers: dads!

And just in case the title of this post left anything to the imagination, IFC is giving dads balls-to-the-wall ’80s treatment with a glorious marathon of action trailblazer Die Hard.

There are so many things we could say about Die Hard. We could talk about how it was comedian Bruce Willis’s first foray into action flicks, or Alan Rickman’s big screen debut. But dads don’t give a sh!t about that stuff.

No, dads just want to fantasize that they could be deathproof quip factory John McClane in their own mundane lives. So while you celebrate the fathers in your life, consider how John McClane would respond to these traditional “dad” moments…

Wedding Toasts

Dads always struggle to find the right words of welcome to extend to new family. John McClane, on the other hand, is the master of inclusivity.
Die Hard wedding

Using Public Restrooms

While nine out of ten dads would rather die than use a disgusting public bathroom, McClane isn’t bothered one bit. So long as he can fit a bloody foot in the sink, he’s G2G.
Die Hard restroom

Awkward Dancing

Because every dad needs a signature move.
Die Hard dance

Writing Thank You Notes

It can be hard for dads to express gratitude. Not only can McClane articulate his thanks, he makes it feel personal.
Die Hard thank you

Valentine’s Day

How would John McClane say “I heart you” in a way that ain’t cliche? The image speaks for itself.
Die Hard valentines

Shopping

The only thing most dads hate more than shopping is fielding eleventh-hour phone calls with additional items for the list. But does McClane throw a typical man-tantrum? Nope. He finds the words to express his feelings like a goddam adult.
Die Hard thank you

Last Minute Errands

John McClane knows when a fight isn’t worth fighting.
Die Hard errands

Sneaking Out Of The Office Early

What is this, high school? Make a real exit, dads.
Die Hard office

Think you or your dad could stand to be more like Bruce? Role model fodder abounds in the Die Hard marathon all Father’s Day long on IFC.

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Founding Farters

Know Your Nerd History

Revenge of the Nerds is on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIFs via Giphy

That we live in the heyday of nerds is no hot secret. Scientists are celebrities, musicians are robots and late night hosts can recite every word of the Silmarillion. It’s too easy to think that it’s always been this way. But the truth is we owe much to our nerd forebearers who toiled through the jock-filled ’80s so that we might take over the world.

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Our humble beginnings are perhaps best captured in iconic ’80s romp Revenge of the Nerds. Like the founding fathers of our Country, the titular nerds rose above their circumstances to culturally pave the way for every Colbert and deGrasse Tyson that we know and love today.

To make sure you’re in the know about our very important cultural roots, here’s a quick download of the vengeful nerds without whom our shameful stereotypes might never have evolved.

Lewis Skolnick

The George Washington of nerds whose unflappable optimism – even in the face of humiliating self-awareness – basically gave birth to the Geek Pride movement.

Gilbert Lowe

OK, this guy is wet blanket, but an important wet blanket. Think Aaron Burr to Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Hamilton. His glass-mostly-empty attitude is a galvanizing force for Lewis. Who knows if Lewis could have kept up his optimism without Lowe’s Debbie-Downer outlook?

Arnold Poindexter

A music nerd who, after a soft start (inside joke, you’ll get it later), came out of his shell and let his passion lead instead of his anxiety. If you played an instrument (specifically, electric violin), and you were a nerd, this was your patron saint.

Booger

A sex-loving, blunt-smoking, nose-picking guitar hero. If you don’t think he sounds like a classic nerd, you’re absolutely right. And that’s the whole point. Along with Lamar, he simultaneously expanded the definition of nerd and gave pre-existing nerds a twisted sort of cred by association.

Lamar Latrell

Black, gay, and a crazy good breakdancer. In other words, a total groundbreaker. He proved to the world that nerds don’t have a single mold, but are simply outcasts waiting for their moment.

Ogre

Exceedingly stupid, this dumbass was monumental because he (in a sequel) leaves the jocks to become a nerd. Totally unheard of back then. Now all jocks are basically nerds.

Well, there they are. Never forget that we stand on their shoulders.

Revenge of the Nerds is on IFC all month long.

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