DID YOU READ

The line for a “Can’t Hardly Wait” reunion film starts behind Peter Facinelli

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Peter Facinelli may be best known these days for leading the Cullen clan in the “Twilight” films, but in 1998 he was Mike Dexter, an arrogant superjock and dumper of Jennifer Love Hewitt. The film was “Can’t Hardly Wait,” and it’s since become a seminal cult classic for those of us who came of age in the mid-to-late ’90s.

The pic takes place during a raucous high school graduation party and follows a series of archetypes: there are the brilliant nerds, the wildly immature jocks (led by Dexter), the white kids appropriating black culture who think they’re cool (Seth Green in a hilarious performance) and the smart arty kids (Ethan Embry and Lauren Ambrose). It’s an immaculately precise depiction of real life, and it also happens to be extremely funny, intensely heartfelt and very intelligent.

Given co-directors Harry Elfont and Deborah Kaplan have only made one movie since then (2001’s “Josie and the Pussycats”), I’ve been feverishly hoping that the pair would decide to return for a sequel. Now, after having spoken to Peter, I realize I’m not the only one.

“I would totally do it,” Facinelli tells IFC during an interview for his new film, “Loosies.” “I think Sony put the nix on it.”

With “American Reunion” on the horizon with its entire original cast, the timing seems perfect for a return of the “Can’t Hardly Wait” family. According to Facinelli, he thinks the same thing. “That’s why I thought it would be such a good idea,” he says. “You know how the whole movie takes place at the high school party? We could have the whole movie take place at the reunion. I thought it’d be a fun movie.”

Onscreen blurbs during the end credits describe his character’s fall from grace, eventually gaining substantial weight and taking menial jobs, aka the fate that all bullied kids hope their tormentors face. According to Facinelli, though, if the reunion were to happen, it would feature a reversal of roles.

“I said I would only do it if he could get Amanda back at the end of the movie,” he says, referring to Love Hewitt, who rejected him at the end of the film (after he rejected her). “I think basically everyone’s stereotypes are now switched. Now he’s basically the loser. The nerd was the loser in the first movie, now he’s like the loser and then he kind of climbs back and gets back on his horse. And the nerdy kid is now the Bill Gates whose kind of like the Mike Dexter, bossing everyone around.”

When I bring up Jerry O’Connell’s character, a former high school football star who appears at the graduation party to belch out six-packs and leave Mike Dexter with substantial doubt over his decision to break up over Amanda, Facinelli retorts that present-day Dexter has fallen even farther than that.

“I think at this point he would have dipped even lower than former glories. I think he’s just literally a loser. He’s filled with self-doubt and he would basically rise to self-confidence again and come back on top.”

Sony, on behalf of all “Can’t Hardly Wait” fans, please make this movie.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAha_0OOL3U

Would you like to see a “Can’t Hardly Wait” sequel? Let us know in the comments below, or on Facebook or Twitter.

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Brock Hard

Brockmire’s Guide To Grabbing Life By The D***

Catch up on the full season of Brockmire now.

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“Lucy, put supper on the stove, my dear, because this ballgame is over!”

Brockmire has officially closed out its rookie season. Miss the finale episode? A handful of episodes? The whole blessed season?? You can see it all from the beginning, starting right here.

And you should get started, because every minute you spend otherwise will be a minute spent not living your best life. That’s right, there are very important life lessons that Brockmire hid in plain sight—lessons that, when applied thoughtfully, can improve every aspect of your awesome existence. Let’s dive into some sage nuggets from what we call the Book of Jim.

Life Should Be Spiked, Not Watered Down.

That’s not just a fancy metaphor. As Brockmire points out, water tastes “awful. 70% of the water is made up of that shit?” Life is short, water sucks, live like you mean it.

There Are Only Three Types of People

“Poor people, rich people and famous people. Rich people are just poor people with money, so the only worthwhile thing is being famous.” So next time your rich friends act all high and mighty, politely remind them that they’re worthless in the eyes of even the most minor celebrities.

There’s Always A Reason To Get Out Of Bed

And 99% of the time that reason is the urge to pee. It’s nature’s way of saying “seize the day.”

There’s More To Life Than Playing Games

“Baseball can’t compete with p0rnography. Nothing can.” Nothing you do or ever will do can be more important to people than p0rn. Get off your high horse.

A Little Empathy Goes A Long Way

Especially if you’ve taken someone else’s Plan B by mistake.

Our Weaknesses Can Be Our Greatest Strengths

Tyrion Lannister said something similar. Hard to tell who said it with more colorful profanity. Wise sentiments all around.

Big Things Come To Those Who Wait

When you’re looking for a sign, the universe will drop you a big one. You’re the sh*t, universe.

And Of Course…

Need more life lessons from the Book of Jim? Catch up on Brockmire on the IFC App.

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Oh Mama

Mommie May I?

Mommie Dearest Is On Repeat All Mothers Day Long On IFC

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The cult-classic movie Mommie Dearest is a game-changer. If you’ve seen it even just once (but come on, who sees it just once?), then you already know what we’re talking about.

But if you haven’t seen it, then let us break it down for you. Really quick, we promise, we’ll even list things out to spare you the reading of a paragraph:

1. It’s the 1981 biopic based on the memoir of Christina Crawford, Hollywood icon Joan Crawford’s adopted daughter.
2. Faye Dunaway plays Joan. And boy does she play her. Loud and over-reactive.
3. It was intended as a drama, but…
4. Waaaaaay over-the-top performances and bargain-basement dialogue rendered it an accidental comedy.
5. It’s a cult classic, and you’re the last person to see it.

Not sold? Don’t believe it’s going to change your life? Ok, maybe over-the-top acting isn’t your thing, or perhaps you don’t like the lingering electricity of a good primal scream, or Joan Crawford is your personal icon and you can’t bear to see her cast in such a creepy light.

But none of that matters.

What’s important is that seeing this movie gives you permission to react to minor repeat annoyances with unrestrained histrionics.

That there is a key moment. Is she crazy? Yeah. But she’s also right. Shoulder nipples are horrible, wire hangers are the worst, and yelling about it feels strangely justified. She did it, we can do it. Precedent set. You’re welcome.

So what else can we yell about? Channel your inner Joan and consider the following list offenses when choosing your next meltdown.

Improperly Hung Toilet Paper

Misplaced Apostrophes

Coldplay at Karaoke

Dad Jokes

Gluten Free Pizza

James Franco

The list of potential pedestrian grievances is actually quite daunting, but when IFC airs Mommie Dearest non-stop for a full day, you’ll have 24 bonus hours to mull it over. 24 bonus hours to nail that lunatic shriek. 24 bonus hours to remember that, really, your mom is comparatively the best.

So please, celebrate Mother’s Day with Mommie Dearest on IFC and at IFC.com. And for the love of god—NO WIRE HANGERS EVER.

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Breaking News

From Canada With Love

Baroness von Sketch Show premieres this summer on IFC.

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Breaking news that (finally) isn’t apocalyptic!

IFC announced today that it acquired acclaimed Canadian comedy series Baroness von Sketch Show, slated to make its US of A premiere this summer. And yes, it’s important to note that it’s a Canadian sketch comedy series, because Canada is currently a shining beacon of civilization in the western hemisphere, and Baroness von Sketch Show reflects that light in every way possible.

The series is fronted entirely by women, which isn’t unusual in the sketch comedy world but is quite rare in the televised sketch comedy world. Punchy, smart, and provocative, each episode of Baroness von Sketch Show touches upon outrageous-yet-relatable real world subjects in ways both unexpected and deeply satisfying: soccer moms, awkward office birthday parties, being over 40 in a gym locker room…dry shampoo…

Indiewire called it “The Best Comedy You’ve Never Seen” and The National Post said that it’s “the funniest thing on Canadian television since Kids In The Hall.” And that’s saying a lot, because Canadians are goddamn hilarious.

Get a good taste of BVSS in the following sketch, which envisions a future Global Summit run entirely by women. It’s a future we’re personally ready for.

Baroness Von Sketch Show premieres later this summer on IFC.

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