DID YOU READ

The line for a “Can’t Hardly Wait” reunion film starts behind Peter Facinelli

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Peter Facinelli may be best known these days for leading the Cullen clan in the “Twilight” films, but in 1998 he was Mike Dexter, an arrogant superjock and dumper of Jennifer Love Hewitt. The film was “Can’t Hardly Wait,” and it’s since become a seminal cult classic for those of us who came of age in the mid-to-late ’90s.

The pic takes place during a raucous high school graduation party and follows a series of archetypes: there are the brilliant nerds, the wildly immature jocks (led by Dexter), the white kids appropriating black culture who think they’re cool (Seth Green in a hilarious performance) and the smart arty kids (Ethan Embry and Lauren Ambrose). It’s an immaculately precise depiction of real life, and it also happens to be extremely funny, intensely heartfelt and very intelligent.

Given co-directors Harry Elfont and Deborah Kaplan have only made one movie since then (2001’s “Josie and the Pussycats”), I’ve been feverishly hoping that the pair would decide to return for a sequel. Now, after having spoken to Peter, I realize I’m not the only one.

“I would totally do it,” Facinelli tells IFC during an interview for his new film, “Loosies.” “I think Sony put the nix on it.”

With “American Reunion” on the horizon with its entire original cast, the timing seems perfect for a return of the “Can’t Hardly Wait” family. According to Facinelli, he thinks the same thing. “That’s why I thought it would be such a good idea,” he says. “You know how the whole movie takes place at the high school party? We could have the whole movie take place at the reunion. I thought it’d be a fun movie.”

Onscreen blurbs during the end credits describe his character’s fall from grace, eventually gaining substantial weight and taking menial jobs, aka the fate that all bullied kids hope their tormentors face. According to Facinelli, though, if the reunion were to happen, it would feature a reversal of roles.

“I said I would only do it if he could get Amanda back at the end of the movie,” he says, referring to Love Hewitt, who rejected him at the end of the film (after he rejected her). “I think basically everyone’s stereotypes are now switched. Now he’s basically the loser. The nerd was the loser in the first movie, now he’s like the loser and then he kind of climbs back and gets back on his horse. And the nerdy kid is now the Bill Gates whose kind of like the Mike Dexter, bossing everyone around.”

When I bring up Jerry O’Connell’s character, a former high school football star who appears at the graduation party to belch out six-packs and leave Mike Dexter with substantial doubt over his decision to break up over Amanda, Facinelli retorts that present-day Dexter has fallen even farther than that.

“I think at this point he would have dipped even lower than former glories. I think he’s just literally a loser. He’s filled with self-doubt and he would basically rise to self-confidence again and come back on top.”

Sony, on behalf of all “Can’t Hardly Wait” fans, please make this movie.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAha_0OOL3U

Would you like to see a “Can’t Hardly Wait” sequel? Let us know in the comments below, or on Facebook or Twitter.

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Thank Azaria

Best. Characters. Ever.

Our favorite Hank Azaria characters.

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GIFs via Giphy

Hank Azaria may well be the most prolific voice and character actor of our time. The work he’s done for The Simpsons alone has earned him a permanent place in the pop culture zeitgeist. And now he’s bringing another character to the mainstream: a washed-up sports announcer named Jim Brockmire, in the aptly titled new series Brockmire.

We’re looking forward to it. So much so that we want to look backward, too, with a short-but-sweet retrospective of some of Azaria’s important characters. Shall we begin?

Half The Recurring Simpsons Characters

He’s Comic Book Guy. He’s Chief Wiggum. He’s Apu. He’s Cletus. He’s Snake. He’s Superintendent Chalmers. He’s the Sea Captain. He’s Kurt “Can I Borrow A Feeling” Van Houten. He’s Professor Frink. He’s Carl. And he’s many more. But most importantly he’s Moe Szyslak, the staple character Azaria has voiced since his very first audition for The Simpsons.

Oh, and He’s Frank Grimes

For all the regular Simpsons characters Azaria has played over the years, his most brilliant performance may have been a one-off: Frank Grimes, the scrappy bootstrapper who worked tirelessly all his life for honest, incremental, and easily-undermined success. Azaria’s portrayal of this character was nuanced, emotional, and simply magical.

Patches O’Houlihan

Dodgeball is a “sport of violence, exclusion and degradation.” as Hank Azaria generously points out in his brief but crucial cameo in Dodgeball. That’s sage wisdom. Try applying his “five D’s” to your life on and off the court and enjoy the results.

Harold Zoid

Of Futurama fame. The crazy uncle of Dr. Zoidberg, Harold Zoid was once a lion (or lobster) of the silver screen until Smell-o-vision forced him into retirement.

Agador

The Birdcage was significant for many reasons, and the comic genius of Hank Azaria’s character “Agador” sits somewhere towards the top of that list. If you haven’t seen this movie, shame on you.

Gargamel

Nobody else could make a live-action Gargamel possible.

Ed Cochran

From Ray Donovan. Great character, great last name [editorial note: the author of this article may be bias].

Kahmunra, The Thinker, Abe Lincoln

All in the Night At The Museum: Battle Of The Smithsonian, a file that let Azaria flex his voice acting and live-action muscles in one fell swoop.

The Blue Raja

Mystery Men has everything, including a fatal case of Smash Mouth. Azaria’s iconic superhero makes the shortlist of redeemable qualities, though.

Dr. Huff

Huff put Azaria in a leading role, and it was good. So good that there is no good gif of it. Internet? More like Inter-not.

Learn more about Hank Azaria’s newest claim to fame right here, and don’t miss the premiere of Brockmire April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Flame Out

Brockmire and Other Public Implosions

Brockmire Premieres April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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There’s less than a month until the Brockmire premiere, and to say we’re excited would be an insulting understatement. It’s not just that it stars Hank Azaria, who can do no wrong (and yes, that’s including Mystery Men, which is only cringeworthy because of Smash Mouth). It’s that the whole backstory of the titular character, Jim Brockmire, is the stuff of legends. A one-time iconic sportscaster who won the hearts of fans and players alike, he fell from grace after an unfortunate personal event triggered a seriously public meltdown. See for yourself in the NSFW Funny or Die digital short that spawned the IFC series:

See? NSFW and spectacularly catastrophic in a way that could almost be real. Which got us thinking: What are some real-life sports fails that have nothing to do with botched athletics and everything to do with going tragically off script? The internet is a dark and dirty place, friends, but these three examples are pretty special and mostly safe for work…

Disgruntled Sports Reporter

His co-anchor went offsides and he called it like he saw it.

Jim Rome vs Jim “Not Chris” Everett

You just don’t heckle a professional athlete when you’re within striking distance. Common sense.

Carl Lewis’s National Anthem

He killed it! As in murdered. It’s dead.

To see more moments just like these, we recommend spending a day in your pajamas combing through the muckiness of the internet. But to see something that’s Brockmire-level funny without having to clear your browser history, check out the sneak peeks and extras here.

Don’t miss the premiere of Brockmire April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Mirror, Mirror

Portlandia Season 7 In Hindsight

Portlandia Season 7 Now Available Online and on the IFC App.

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Another season of Portlandia is behind us, and oh what a season it was. We laughed. We cried. And we chuckled uncomfortably while glancing nervously around the room. Like every season before it, the latest Portlandia has held a mirror up to ridiculousness of modern American life, but more than ever that same mirror has reflected our social reality in ways that are at once hysterical and sneakily thought-provoking. Here are just a few of the issues they tackled:

Nationalism

So long, America, Portland is out! And yes, the idea of Portland seceding is still less ludicrous than building a wall.

Men’s Rights

We all saw this coming. Exit gracefully, dudes.

Protests

Whatever you stand for, stand for it together. Or with at least one other person.

Free Love

No matter who we are or how we love, deep down we all have the ability to get stalky.

Social Status

Modern self-esteem basically hinges on likes, so this isn’t really a stretch at all.

These moments are just the tip of the iceberg, and much more can be found in the full seventh season of #Portlandia, available right now #online and on the #IFC app.

via GIPHY

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