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DID YOU READ

New line of “Avengers” cologne lets you smell like Hulk. (Yes, this exists.)

avengers cologne

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Of all the movie tie-ins we expected to see for “The Avengers,” this is certainly one of the more surprising… and a little weird, to be honest.

Fragrance-makers JADS International have unveiled their new line of cologne based on “The Avengers,” which includes six different scents based on the heroes and villains from Marvel’s upcoming team-up film. Among the fragrances are scents based on Captain America, Iron Man, Hulk, Thor, Nick Fury, and — because bad guys like to smell nice, too — the god of mischief himself, Loki.

You can read up on the descriptions of each fragrance over at the JADS website, but here are some of the highlights (depending on how you look at it, I guess):

The Mark VII cologne based on Iron Man is is described as a “resolutely sophisticated” scent that combines “mandarin, neroli, nasturtium and jasmine layered with light patchouli.” Yes, you read that correctly — the Iron Man cologne contains the scent of mandarin. This is clearly a warning from… someone.

(For those who might not be as comics-savvy, the villain called Mandarin is actually Iron Man’s arch-enemy in the comics world. It’s cool, we won’t tell anyone that you didn’t know that.)

Meanwhile, the Hulk-flavored fragrance leaves us a bit puzzled, as it’s said to be a mixture of “yuzu, bergamot and tarragon [to] create clean, clear top notes along with unexpected accords of water lily and nutmeg.” Nowhere in the description is the scent of demolished urban infrastructure and torn purple pants even mentioned. We would’ve expected a little chili powder — or better yet, something resembling the smell of napalm in the morning.

Curiously, there’s no description of the scents contained within the “Mischief” and “Infinity Formula” colognes tied to Loki and Nick Fury, respectively. If Nick Fury’s cologne doesn’t smell like an old cigar, though, someone is clearly going at this the wrong way.

Oh, and while there aren’t any pictures or descriptions listed, the JADS website also lists tie-in fragrances for Spider-Man and Deadpool. Yes, Deadpool — a character who once created an entire suit of armor made out of raw meat, because it seemed like a good idea at the time. Wrap your heads around that for a second, okay?

Here’s hoping the lack of Ghost Rider cologne is just an oversight, because we’re pretty sure there are a lot of people who’d pay to smell like a burning, leather-clad Nicolas Cage. (Okay, not really.)

Which scents do you think they’re missing? Chime in below or on Facebook or Twitter.

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Rev Up

Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Give Back

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…

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A-O Rewind

Celebrating Portlandia One Sketch at a Time

The final season of Portlandia approaches.

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GIFs via Giphy

Most people measure time in minutes, hours, days, years…At IFC, we measure it in sketches. And nothing takes us way (waaaaaay) back like Portlandia sketches. Yes, there’s a Portlandia milepost from every season that changed the way we think, behave, and pickle things. In honor of Portlandia’s 8th and final season, Subaru presents a few of our favorites.

via GIPHY

Put A Bird On It

Portlandia enters the pop-culture lexicon and inspires us to put birds on literally everything.

Colin the Chicken

Who’s your chicken, really? Behold the emerging locavore trend captured perfectly to the nth degree.

Dream Of The ’90s

This treatise on Portland made it clear that “the dream” was alive and well.

No You Go

We Americans spend most of our lives in cars. Fortunately, there’s a Portlandia sketch for every automotive situation.

A-O River!

We learned all our outdoor survival skills from Kath and Dave.

One More Episode

The true birth of binge watching, pre-Netflix. And what you’ll do once Season 8 premieres.

Catch up on Portlandia’s best moments before the 8th season premieres January 18th on IFC.

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