A Whitest Kids U’Know Holiday Gift Guide

A Whitest Kids U’Know Holiday Gift Guide (photo)

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To help you with your holiday shopping, we have put together a Whitest Kids U’Know holiday gift guide. Sharing is caring, especially when you are sharing some of these awesome gifts with those nearest and dearest to you. Don’t let Santa know what you have your eye on, though, because he would totally steal your gift ideas.

Then on Sunday we are showing back-to-back episodes of “The Whitest Kids U’Know” beginning at 12:15 p.m. ET so you can tune in after church and before brunch or vice versa:

Is your brother trying to quit smoking? Well, the Whitest Kids U’Know have the perfect smoking cessation tool to help. But you can’t buy this quality health-related product at your local drugstore or Spencer Gifts. You can’t even buy it from a doctor’s office. No, you have to buy it from the Whitest Kids U’Know. This medical device is the perfect way to tell those you love that you care about their health and want them to stop sucking down smoke. But it’s such a helpful tool that you can’t possibly keep it to yourself and your family. You should share it with the world, including that attractive stranger on the bus. What girl wouldn’t want to know that you care about her health? Looking for the perfect gift to give your chainsmoking postman at Hannukah? Look no further. The Nic-O-Dick is for everyone.

Do you like Finger Ring Friends? Of course you do! Everyone likes Finger Ring Friends. Even your mom! Did you miss the fun? Watch the clip below, so you can make sure everyone on your Christmas list is Finger Ring Friends by the New Year:

The refrain “Needs more cowbell” has echoed around the globe, but the Whitest Kids U’Know are here to tell you: Screw the cowbell, you need more didgeridoo. And so do all the people on your holiday shopping list. Now that didgeridoo master Saul Rosenberg has released his greatest hits album, you can share the most wondrous instrument on earth* (* that was carved from a tree branch) with all your loved ones. Let Saul’s beautiful music soothe your soul:

And you don’t even have to ask what your grandfather wants for the holidays, just buy him — or really everyone — a sex robot. That’s how you really bring the holiday cheer.

Back-to-back episodes of “Whitest Kids U’Know” start at 12:15 p.m. ET on Sunday

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Millennial Wisdom

Charles Speaks For Us All

Get to know Charles, the social media whiz of Brockmire.

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He may be an unlikely radio producer Brockmire, but Charles is #1 when it comes to delivering quips that tie a nice little bow on the absurdity of any given situation.

Charles also perfectly captures the jaded outlook of Millennials. Or at least Millennials as mythologized by marketers and news idiots. You know who you are.

Played superbly by Tyrel Jackson Williams, Charles’s quippy nuggets target just about any subject matter, from entry-level jobs in social media (“I plan on getting some experience here, then moving to New York to finally start my life.”) to the ramifications of fictional celebrity hookups (“Drake and Taylor Swift are dating! Albums y’all!”). But where he really nails the whole Millennial POV thing is when he comments on America’s second favorite past-time after type II diabetes: baseball.

Here are a few pearls.

On Baseball’s Lasting Cultural Relevance

“Baseball’s one of those old-timey things you don’t need anymore. Like cursive. Or email.”

On The Dramatic Value Of Double-Headers

“The only thing dumber than playing two boring-ass baseball games in one day is putting a two-hour delay between the boring-ass games.”

On Sartorial Tradition

“Is dressing badly just a thing for baseball, because that would explain his jacket.”

On Baseball, In A Nutshell

“Baseball is a f-cked up sport, and I want you to know it.”

Learn more about Charles in the behind-the-scenes video below.

And if you were born before the late ’80s and want to know what the kids think about Baseball, watch Brockmire Wednesdays at 10P on IFC.

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Crown Jules

Amanda Peet FTW on Brockmire

Amanda Peet brings it on Brockmire Wednesday at 10P on IFC.

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GIFS via Giphy

On Brockmire, Jules is the unexpected yin to Jim Brockmire’s yang. Which is saying a lot, because Brockmire’s yang is way out there. Played by Amanda Peet, Jules is hard-drinking, truth-spewing, baseball-loving…everything Brockmire is, and perhaps what he never expected to encounter in another human.

“We’re the same level of functional alcoholic.”

But Jules takes that commonality and transforms it into something special: a new beginning. A new beginning for failing minor league baseball team “The Frackers”, who suddenly about-face into a winning streak; and a new beginning for Brockmire, whose life gets a jumpstart when Jules lures him back to baseball. As for herself, her unexpected connection with Brockmire gives her own life a surprising and much needed goose.

“You’re a Goddamn Disaster and you’re starting To look good to me.”

This palpable dynamic adds depth and complexity to the narrative and pushes the series far beyond expected comedy. See for yourself in this behind-the-scenes video (and brace yourself for a unforgettable description of Brockmire’s genitals)…

Want more about Amanda Peet? She’s all over the place, and has even penned a recent self-reflective piece in the New York Times.

And of course you can watch the Jim-Jules relationship hysterically unfold in new episodes of Brockmire, every Wednesday at 10PM on IFC.

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Draught Pick

Sam Adams “Keeps It Brockmire”

All New Brockmire airs Wednesdays at 10P on IFC.

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From baseball to beer, Jim Brockmire calls ’em like he sees ’em.


It’s no wonder at all, then, that Sam Adams would reach out to Brockmire to be their shockingly-honest (and inevitably short-term) new spokesperson. Unscripted and unrestrained, he’ll talk straight about Sam—and we’ll take his word. Check out this new testimonial for proof:

See more Brockmire Wednesdays at 10P on IFC, presented by Samuel Adams. Good f***** beer.

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