DID YOU READ

Woman sues “Drive” for not being “Fast and Furious”

Woman sues “Drive” for not being “Fast and Furious” (photo)

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We’ve all gone to see movies based on trailers that turned out to be not entirely true. If you went to see “The Road” after checking out its trailer, for example, you were probably wondering where the hell Charlize Theron went. In the trailer, she looks like one of the main characters. In the movie — SPOILER ALERT! — she’s dead before the opening credits and appears only in flashbacks.

What we all haven’t done is walked out a movie and decided to sue its distributor for misleading us. But that’s exactly what one woman did last week to Filmdistrict, the distributor of the new movie “Drive.” According to The Hollywood Reporter, Sarah Deming of Michigan has filed suit against Filmdistrict for promoting “Drive” “as very similar to the ‘Fast and Furious,’ or similar, series of movies” when in fact, the suit alleges:

“…”‘Drive’ bore very little similarity to a chase, or race action film… having very little driving in the motion picture… ‘Drive’ was a motion picture that substantially contained extreme gratuitous defamatory dehumanizing racism directed against members of the Jewish faith, and thereby promoted criminal violence against members of the Jewish faith.”

It did? I thought the movie was equally violent against members of all faiths — and if you want to be really technical about it, most of the onscreen violence was committed by Jews against characters whose religious affiliations are unclear. But whatever, that’s really not the main issue.

The main issue is the trailer, which Deming argues misled her into believing “Drive” would deliver a similar experience to “The Fast and the Furious” (essentially she’s complaining about the very thing that critics love about the film — namely its romantic, poetic take on the heist genre). Let’s take a look at the trailer in question and see whether it’s misleading. Here it is:

For point of comparison, here’s the trailer to the original “The Fast and the Furious”:

Hard to say that “Drive” sells itself like a “Fast and Furious” movie when you see how a “Fast and Furious” movie sells itself. “TF&TF”‘s trailer has lot more quick cuts, a lot more CGI shots inside engines, and a lot of dudes wearing shirts with no sleeves acting macho. Which brings me to the part of Deming’s lawsuit I really don’t understand, and what I don’t understand about other people complaining that they didn’t like “Drive” because the trailer misled them: the “Drive” trailer is actually too accurate. It may not depict the full scope of the onscreen violence, it may not fully imply how slow certain portions of the film are, but it reveals almost every major details of the plot, including the twist about Carey Mulligan’s character’s husband returning from prison and the major double-cross during the big heist scene. To my eyes, it doesn’t contain any footage that doesn’t appear in the film itself, something you occasionally see in trailers for stuff that undergo significant revision in the editing room. Deming would have a much stronger case if she was suing because she felt like she saw the entire movie in the trailer, because basically she did.

Deming wants her ticket price refunded and the practice of “misleading” Hollywood trailers ended. Here’s the problem: Misleading trailers like the one for “The Road” might be frustrating, and maybe they do sometimes cross the line from fudging the truth to false advertising (“Four out of five doctors agree: ‘Drive’ is a smash-hit!”). But what’s the alternative? Trailers going even further than “Drive” to explain every last detail of what you’re going to see in a movie? Sports movie trailers that show you the last play? Horror movie trailers that reveal the identity of the killer? If the trailer tells you exactly what the movie is and what happens, why even bother going to the movies in the first place?

One of the fundamental pleasures of film is surprise. The day the movies lose that, is the day the movies lose my interest. If I can predict a movie’s ending from its trailer, that’s a bad thing. Maybe not according to Deming, but definitely according to me.

What’s the most misleading film trailer of all time? Tell us in the comments below or on Facebook and Twitter.

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Brock Hard

Brockmire’s Guide To Grabbing Life By The D***

Catch up on the full season of Brockmire now.

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“Lucy, put supper on the stove, my dear, because this ballgame is over!”

Brockmire has officially closed out its rookie season. Miss the finale episode? A handful of episodes? The whole blessed season?? You can see it all from the beginning, starting right here.

And you should get started, because every minute you spend otherwise will be a minute spent not living your best life. That’s right, there are very important life lessons that Brockmire hid in plain sight—lessons that, when applied thoughtfully, can improve every aspect of your awesome existence. Let’s dive into some sage nuggets from what we call the Book of Jim.

Life Should Be Spiked, Not Watered Down.

That’s not just a fancy metaphor. As Brockmire points out, water tastes “awful. 70% of the water is made up of that shit?” Life is short, water sucks, live like you mean it.

There Are Only Three Types of People

“Poor people, rich people and famous people. Rich people are just poor people with money, so the only worthwhile thing is being famous.” So next time your rich friends act all high and mighty, politely remind them that they’re worthless in the eyes of even the most minor celebrities.

There’s Always A Reason To Get Out Of Bed

And 99% of the time that reason is the urge to pee. It’s nature’s way of saying “seize the day.”

There’s More To Life Than Playing Games

“Baseball can’t compete with p0rnography. Nothing can.” Nothing you do or ever will do can be more important to people than p0rn. Get off your high horse.

A Little Empathy Goes A Long Way

Especially if you’ve taken someone else’s Plan B by mistake.

Our Weaknesses Can Be Our Greatest Strengths

Tyrion Lannister said something similar. Hard to tell who said it with more colorful profanity. Wise sentiments all around.

Big Things Come To Those Who Wait

When you’re looking for a sign, the universe will drop you a big one. You’re the sh*t, universe.

And Of Course…

Need more life lessons from the Book of Jim? Catch up on Brockmire on the IFC App.

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Oh Mama

Mommie May I?

Mommie Dearest Is On Repeat All Mothers Day Long On IFC

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The cult-classic movie Mommie Dearest is a game-changer. If you’ve seen it even just once (but come on, who sees it just once?), then you already know what we’re talking about.

But if you haven’t seen it, then let us break it down for you. Really quick, we promise, we’ll even list things out to spare you the reading of a paragraph:

1. It’s the 1981 biopic based on the memoir of Christina Crawford, Hollywood icon Joan Crawford’s adopted daughter.
2. Faye Dunaway plays Joan. And boy does she play her. Loud and over-reactive.
3. It was intended as a drama, but…
4. Waaaaaay over-the-top performances and bargain-basement dialogue rendered it an accidental comedy.
5. It’s a cult classic, and you’re the last person to see it.

Not sold? Don’t believe it’s going to change your life? Ok, maybe over-the-top acting isn’t your thing, or perhaps you don’t like the lingering electricity of a good primal scream, or Joan Crawford is your personal icon and you can’t bear to see her cast in such a creepy light.

But none of that matters.

What’s important is that seeing this movie gives you permission to react to minor repeat annoyances with unrestrained histrionics.

That there is a key moment. Is she crazy? Yeah. But she’s also right. Shoulder nipples are horrible, wire hangers are the worst, and yelling about it feels strangely justified. She did it, we can do it. Precedent set. You’re welcome.

So what else can we yell about? Channel your inner Joan and consider the following list offenses when choosing your next meltdown.

Improperly Hung Toilet Paper

Misplaced Apostrophes

Coldplay at Karaoke

Dad Jokes

Gluten Free Pizza

James Franco

The list of potential pedestrian grievances is actually quite daunting, but when IFC airs Mommie Dearest non-stop for a full day, you’ll have 24 bonus hours to mull it over. 24 bonus hours to nail that lunatic shriek. 24 bonus hours to remember that, really, your mom is comparatively the best.

So please, celebrate Mother’s Day with Mommie Dearest on IFC and at IFC.com. And for the love of god—NO WIRE HANGERS EVER.

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Breaking News

From Canada With Love

Baroness von Sketch Show premieres this summer on IFC.

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Breaking news that (finally) isn’t apocalyptic!

IFC announced today that it acquired acclaimed Canadian comedy series Baroness von Sketch Show, slated to make its US of A premiere this summer. And yes, it’s important to note that it’s a Canadian sketch comedy series, because Canada is currently a shining beacon of civilization in the western hemisphere, and Baroness von Sketch Show reflects that light in every way possible.

The series is fronted entirely by women, which isn’t unusual in the sketch comedy world but is quite rare in the televised sketch comedy world. Punchy, smart, and provocative, each episode of Baroness von Sketch Show touches upon outrageous-yet-relatable real world subjects in ways both unexpected and deeply satisfying: soccer moms, awkward office birthday parties, being over 40 in a gym locker room…dry shampoo…

Indiewire called it “The Best Comedy You’ve Never Seen” and The National Post said that it’s “the funniest thing on Canadian television since Kids In The Hall.” And that’s saying a lot, because Canadians are goddamn hilarious.

Get a good taste of BVSS in the following sketch, which envisions a future Global Summit run entirely by women. It’s a future we’re personally ready for.

Baroness Von Sketch Show premieres later this summer on IFC.

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