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Are these the 25 best horror films of the Aughts?

Are these the 25 best horror films of the Aughts? (photo)

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It’s the last week of October which means one thing: Halloween-related movie features! The fine folks at Slant Magazine posted a big’un yesterday, “The 25 Best Horror Films of the Aughts.” You’ve got to go to to their site to see the whole list, obviously, but here’s their Top 5.

1. “Pulse” (2001, Kiyoshi Kurosawa)

2. “Inland Empire” (2006, David Lynch)

3. “Inside” (2007, Alexandre Bustillo and Julien Maury)

4. “Audition” (2001, Takashi Miike)

5. “Martyrs” (2008, Pascal Laugier)

It’s a very interesting list with some very strong writing, a welcome and all-too-rare sight in this sort of article. I haven’t seen every movie that made the cut, including two in the top five (numbers five and three, if you’re curious), so I can’t knock all of Slant’s choices. And even if I had and therefore I could, this sort of thing is totally subjective. And, really, that’s what you want from this sort of list. You want to see what a site like Slant thinks are the best horror films of the aughts. Another site might (and probably would) have a very different list. Which is great. But you know there’s a but coming, right?

(Hold on, it’s coming.)

BUT!!! As a film nerd, I can’t resist the urge to gripe and nitpick. And why would you want me to? If all I had to say was “Boy, this is a perfect list, I can’t complain with anything, kudos to you and yours Slant!” this wouldn’t be much of a blog post, now would it?

Though I’m all for an expansive definition of horror — and I’m very glad Slant’s list has plenty of international representation — they may have cast too wide a net with their picks. Is “A History of Violence” (#20) a horror film? More like a mystery/thrillery to me. Is “Inland Empire” (#2) a horror film? Yeah, I guess, sort of. But despite “Inland Empire”‘s awesomeness as a film, is it really the second best pure, make-the-hairs-on-the-back-of-your-neck-stand-straight-up horror film of the last eleven years? Mrm, not so much. If you’re going to open up the genre that far, there’s other, better, scarier movies that also qualify. What about “Dogtooth?” Or “Snow Angels?” Or “I Saw the Devil?” Or, for that matter, a whole mess of amazing (and amazingly disturbing) Korean revenge movies?

There are some other quibbles I have that boil down to matters of taste. “28 Weeks Later” (#15) makes the cut but “28 Days Later” doesn’t? “Halloween II” (#6) makes the top ten ahead of Zombie’s own (and in my mind vastly superior film) “The Devil’s Rejects” (#9)? And there are plenty of deserving movies that didn’t make the cut. As a sort of counter-list, here’s what I consider five worst omissions:

5. “Slither” (2006, James Gunn)
One of the ooiest-gooiest horror movies of the Aughts, with an appropriately jaundiced view of small-town America and an amazingly emotive monster, played by the great character actor Michael Rooker. You will feel for him, you will be revolted by him.

4. “Paranormal Activity” (2007, Oren Peli)
Popular? Sure, but rightfully so. It’s found footage horror — a subgenre that’s glutted the horror market this decade — done perfectly. “Paranormal Activity” is a very scary movie and I suspect it’s one of the handful of movies from the Aughts that people are still going to be watching in the 2050s.

3. “Shaun of the Dead” (2004, Edgar Wright)
If Slant has room for horror comedies — and they obviously do, since they included Sam Raimi’s wonderful 2009 film “Drag Me to Hell” at #24 — then they should have found room for the single most iconic horror comedy of the last decade, Edgar Wright’s “Shaun of the Dead.” Legitimately funny, but even more legitimately scary in the late scenes where the gang is holed up in the pub surrounded by zombies.

2. “The Host” (2006, Bong Joon-ho)
Can’t figure out how this one slipped through this list. Slant’s (and occasionally our own) Nick Schager gave the film three and a half out of four stars when the movie opened back in 2006. I haven’t seen it in five years, so it’s not the freshest film in my mind but what’s stuck with me is the intensity of the connection Bong creates between the characters and the audience, and the way he milks that bond for white-knuckle suspense and scream-loosening scares. Maybe the guys in charge thought it was too sci-fi.

1. “Pan’s Labyrinth” (2006, Guillermo del Toro)
Weird that Slant went out of its way to credit del Toro for the success of their #25 film, “The Orphanage” — which is, don’t get me wrong, a reasonably spooky haunted house movie — and didn’t find a spot for del Toro’s millennial masterpiece of fantasy horror, “Pan’s Labyrinth.” It’s a far more beautiful and far more unsettling representation of del Toro’s favorite themes.

What’s the best horror movie of the aughts? What great movie got left off Slant’s list? Tell us in the comments below or on Facebook and Twitter.


Rev Up

Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.


Give Back

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.

Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…


A-O Rewind

Celebrating Portlandia One Sketch at a Time

The final season of Portlandia approaches.

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GIFs via Giphy

Most people measure time in minutes, hours, days, years…At IFC, we measure it in sketches. And nothing takes us way (waaaaaay) back like Portlandia sketches. Yes, there’s a Portlandia milepost from every season that changed the way we think, behave, and pickle things. In honor of Portlandia’s 8th and final season, Subaru presents a few of our favorites.


Put A Bird On It

Portlandia enters the pop-culture lexicon and inspires us to put birds on literally everything.

Colin the Chicken

Who’s your chicken, really? Behold the emerging locavore trend captured perfectly to the nth degree.

Dream Of The ’90s

This treatise on Portland made it clear that “the dream” was alive and well.

No You Go

We Americans spend most of our lives in cars. Fortunately, there’s a Portlandia sketch for every automotive situation.

A-O River!

We learned all our outdoor survival skills from Kath and Dave.

One More Episode

The true birth of binge watching, pre-Netflix. And what you’ll do once Season 8 premieres.

Catch up on Portlandia’s best moments before the 8th season premieres January 18th on IFC.