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How crazy’s “The Human Centipede II?” Pretty freaking crazy

How crazy’s “The Human Centipede II?”  Pretty freaking crazy (photo)

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What’s scarier than someone sewing people ass-to-mouth in an enormous human centipede? Someone with no medical background sewing people ass-to-mouth in an enormous human centipede with unsanitary tools and no anesthesia. That’s precisely what’s on the menu for writer/director Tom Six‘s “The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence).” Instead of mad Dr. Heiter from “The Human Centipede,” the sinister surgeon this time around is a deranged fan of the first film named Martin (Lawrence R. Harvey), who watches the movie over and over at his job as a night watchman at a parking garage. Martin decides to copy the centipede, but as a short, chubby, asthmatic man with no knowledge of human anatomy, he’s not very qualified to perform complex medical procedures. The already messy, already disgusting idea of sewing people together ass-to-mouth gets a lot messier and a lot more disgusting.

How crazy is this movie? Pretty freaking crazy. Like the first film, the carnage takes a while to get going, but once the humans start centipeding, watch out. Buyer beware: we’re talking graphic depictions of teeth being knocked out, tongues being sliced, faces being stapled to butts, and more. At times, the violence is so extreme it borders on absurd comedy. At other times, the sadistic acts depicted onscreen are so transgressive they border on unwatchable. You can say a lot of things about “The Human Centipede II,” but one thing is inarguable: Six did not hold back. And if he did, I don’t think I could stand to watch what it looks like when he doesn’t. I guess shooting the movie in black and white instead of color could be considered a concession to good taste. I would prefer to think of it as an act of mercy.

“The Human Centipede II” is an anatomic freak show for sure, but there are other things at work as well. Martin’s slovenly, sweaty appearance suggests the worst stereotypes of fanboys, as does his obsessive need to reenact (and, in his mind, improve) the film that he loves. If “Centipede II” wasn’t so revolting, you could almost call it a very dark comedy. One scene involving explosions of fecal matter is so over the top it reminded me more of Mel Brooks than Dario Argento. I don’t think it’s totally ludicrous to call the human centipede in its full sequence, twelve-person glory the sickest and most insanely committed poop joke ever captured on film. On the other hand, this movie is probably a lot closer to torture porn than the first “Centipede” ever got. “Centipede I” was told at least partly from the perspective of the victims; “Centipede II” is seen entirely through the eyes of the perpetrator. The surgery in “(First Sequence)” was cold and clinical and brief; the gruesome surgery in “(Full Sequence)” is a full third of the film. And it is intense.

We’ll have plenty more “Human Centipede II” coverage leading up to the film’s release on October 7 from the folks over at IFC Films. Later today at Fantastic Fest, I’ll be interviewing Six himself. My first question: what is wrong with you, man?

Are you ready to see “The Human Centipede II?” Tell us your thoughts in the comments below or write to us on Facebook and Twitter.

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at IFC.com

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

Uncle-Buck

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…