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Bruce Willis mixes it up with 50 Cent in this exclusive clip from “Set Up”

Bruce Willis mixes it up with 50 Cent in this exclusive clip from “Set Up” (photo)

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In a way, 50 Cent is kind of the real-life counterpart to Bruce Willis in “Die Hard,” what with getting shot nine times and all, so I suppose it’s fitting that the two of them are finally headlining a film together. The direct-to-DVD action flick is called “Set Up” and we’ve got a first look at the two stars heating up a scene together.

In the pic, a group of former friends turn on each other after a heist goes wrong, with Willis playing the crime boss and 50 Cent being one of the ex-buddies. In the clip below, Fif tries to convince a skeptical Willis that he knows where the money is, and naturally needs some men to take on an army of adversaries. “Set Up” hits store shelves on DVD and Blu-ray September 20.

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Will you be checking out 50 Cent and Bruce Willis in “Set Up”? Let us know how it looks in the comments below or on Facebook or Twitter.

Soap tv show

As the Spoof Turns

15 Hilarious Soap Opera Parodies

Catch the classic sitcom Soap Saturday mornings on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Columbia Pictures Television

The soap opera is the indestructible core of television fandom. We celebrate modern series like The Wire and Breaking Bad with their ongoing storylines, but soap operas have been tangling more plot threads than a quilt for decades. Which is why pop culture enjoys parodying them so much.

Check out some of the funniest soap opera parodies below, and be sure to catch Soap Saturday mornings on IFC.

1. Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman

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Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman was a cult hit soap parody from the mind of Norman Lear that poked daily fun at the genre with epic twists and WTF moments. The first season culminated in a perfect satire of ratings stunts, with Mary being both confined to a psychiatric facility and chosen to be part of a Nielsen ratings family.


2. IKEA Heights

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IKEA Heights proves that the soap opera is alive and well, even if it has to be filmed undercover at a ready-to-assemble furniture store totally unaware of what’s happening. This unique webseries brought the classic formula to a new medium. Even IKEA saw the funny side — but has asked that future filmmakers apply through proper channels.


3. Fresno

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When you’re parodying ’80s nighttime soaps like Dallas and Dynasty , everything about your show has to equally sumptuous. The 1986 CBS miniseries Fresno delivered with a high-powered cast (Carol Burnett, Teri Garr and more in haute couture clothes!) locked in the struggle for the survival of a raisin cartel.


4. Soap

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Soap was the nighttime response to daytime soap operas: a primetime skewering of everything both silly and satisfying about the source material. Plots including demonic possession and alien abduction made it a cult favorite, and necessitated the first televised “viewer discretion” disclaimer. It also broke ground for featuring one of the first gay characters on television in the form of Billy Crystal’s Jodie Dallas. Revisit (or discover for the first time) this classic sitcom every Saturday morning on IFC.


5. Too Many Cooks

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Possibly the most perfect viral video ever made, Too Many Cooks distilled almost every style of television in a single intro sequence. The soap opera elements are maybe the most hilarious, with more characters and sudden shocking twists in an intro than most TV scribes manage in an entire season.


6. Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace

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Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace was more mockery than any one medium could handle. The endless complications of Darkplace Hospital are presented as an ongoing horror soap opera with behind-the-scenes anecdotes from writer, director, star, and self-described “dreamweaver visionary” Garth Marenghi and astoundingly incompetent actor/producer Dean Learner.


7. “Attitudes and Feelings, Both Desirable and Sometimes Secretive,” MadTV

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Soap opera connoisseurs know that the most melodramatic plots are found in Korea. MADtv‘s parody Tae Do  (translation: Attitudes and Feelings, Both Desirable and Sometimes Secretive) features the struggles of mild-mannered characters with far more feelings than their souls, or subtitles, could ever cope with.


8. Twin Peaks

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Twin Peaks, the twisted parody of small town soaps like Peyton Place whose own creator repeatedly insists is not a parody, has endured through pop culture since it changed television forever when it debuted in 1990. The show even had it’s own soap within in a soap called…


9. “Invitation to Love,” Twin Peaks

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Twin Peaks didn’t just parody soap operas — it parodied itself parodying soap operas with the in-universe show Invitation to Love. That’s more layers of deceit and drama than most televised love triangles.


10. “As The Stomach Turns,” The Carol Burnett Show

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The Carol Burnett Show poked fun at soaps with this enduring take on As The World Turns. In a case of life imitating art, one story involving demonic possession would go on to happen for “real” on Days of Our Lives.


11. Days of our Lives (Friends Edition)

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Still airing today, Days of Our Lives is one of the most famous soap operas of all time. They’re also excellent sports, as they allowed Friends star Joey Tribbiani to star as Dr Drake Ramoray, the only doctor to date his own stalker (while pretending to be his own evil twin). And then return after a brain-transplant.

And let’s not forget the greatest soap opera parody line ever written: “Come on Joey, you’re going up against a guy who survived his own cremation!”


12. Acorn Antiques

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First appearing on the BBC sketch comedy series Victoria Wood As Seen on TV, Acorn Antiques combines almost every low-budget soap opera trope into one amazing whole. The staff of a small town antique store suffer a disproportional number of amnesiac love-triangles, while entire storylines suddenly appear and disappear without warning or resolution. Acorn Antiques was so popular, it went on to become a hit West End musical.


13. “Point Place,” That 70s Show

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In a memorable That ’70s Show episode, an unemployed Red is reduced to watching soaps all day. He becomes obsessed despite the usual Red common-sense objections (like complaining that it’s impossible to fall in love with someone in a coma). His dreams render his own life as Point Place, a melodramatic nightmare where Kitty leaves him because he’s unemployed. (Click here to see all airings of That ’70s Show on IFC.)


14. The Spoils of Babylon

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Bursting from the minds of Will Ferrell and creators Andrew Steele and Matt Piedmont, The Spoils of Babylon was a spectacular parody of soap operas and epic mini-series like The Thorn Birds. Taking the parody even further, Ferrell himself played Eric Jonrosh, the author of the book on which the series was based. Jonrosh returned in The Spoils Before Dying, a jazzy murder mystery with its own share of soapy twists and turns.

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15. All My Children Finale, SNL

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SNL‘s final celebration of one of the biggest soaps of all time is interrupted by a relentless series of revelations from stage managers, lighting designers, make-up artists, and more. All of whom seem to have been married to or murdered by (or both) each other.

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis return for larger roles in “The Expendables 2″

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis return for larger roles in “The Expendables 2″ (photo)

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With both “The Expendables” and “Red” having done remarkably well at the box office, if there’s one thing that 2010 taught us it’s that America loves watching older men kick asses. Fortunately, “The Expendables 2″ seems to be sticking with that winning formula and even amping it up a bit, as both Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis will return to the sequel with larger roles.

Directed by and starring Sylvester Stallone, “The Expendales” featured a cast of certified Hollywood badasses including Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Randy Couture, “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, Terry Crews and Mickey Rourke. Also appearing in a brief, testosterone-laden scene in a church were Sly’s partners in 1980s flexing-based films, Schwarzenegger and Willis. While it was a thrill seeing three action movie icons on screen together, it was more than a little disappointing when the trio didn’t throw down together.

Deadline is now reporting that “The Expendables 2″ will be correcting that regrettable mistake, as both actors have reportedly signed on for “substantial” roles. Stallone won’t be directing this time out, but he, Statham, Lundgren, Rourke, Crews and Jet Li are all expected to return for the sequel.

Filming begins next month for an August 2012 release, with Schwarzenegger making time for the project in between “Last Stand” and fathering illegitimate children, and Willis completing filming before heading off to the set of “Die Hard 5.” Other rumored editions to the cast include Jean-Claude Van Damme, Hulk Hogan, Mr. T, Carl Weathers, The Rock, Chuck Norris, John Travolta and others, which would all be great of course, but what we really want is a Sammo Hung appearance.

Are you excited to see Schwarzenegger and Willis take on larger roles in “The Expendables 2″? Who else would you like to see appear in the sequel? Tell us in the comments below or on Facebook and Twitter.

Match Cuts: “Sin City”

Match Cuts: “Sin City” (photo)

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In Match Cuts, we examine every available version of a film, and decide once and for all which is the one, definitive cut worth watching. This week, in honor of Robert Rodriguez‘s new “Spy Kids” movie, “All the Time in the World,” we’re looking at the director’s adaptation of the graphic novel series “Sin City.”

EDITIONS:
-Theatrical Cut (2005): 124 minutes
-Recut, Extended, Unrated Cut (2005): 147 minutes (sort of)

THE STORY:
Maybe “The Stories” is more accurate here; “Sin City” began its life as a series of noir comic books by writer/artist Frank Miller set in the corrupt and venal town of Basin City. The adaptation, directed by Miller and Rodriguez, brings four of those stories to life. In “The Customer is Always Right,” a man with ulterior motives (Josh Hartnett) seduces a woman (Marley Shelton) at a party. In “The Hard Goodbye,” a hideous mook named Marv (Mickey Rourke) seeks to avenge the murder of a kindly prostitute (Jaime King). “The Big Fat Kill” follows Dwight (Clive Owen) as he tries to clean up a mess caused by a couple of not-so-kindly prostitutes and a sadistic police officer (Benicio del Toro). Finally, “That Yellow Bastard” features Bruce Willis as Hartigan, a good cop, framed for child molestation by a sick pervert (Nick Stahl) whose father is the corrupt senator (Powers Boothe) who runs Basin City.

REASON FOR MULTIPLE VERSIONS:
Technology more than anything else. There’s certainly no great narrative reason — Dimension didn’t force Rodriguez and Miller to lose one of their short stories for the sake of a more commercial runtime or anything like that — nor are there any major censorship concerns. In fact, even though the “Sin City” Special Edition’s “Recut, Extended, and Unrated” cut boasts that it is, yes, unrated, it doesn’t contain any significant additions of violence or sexuality. I’m quite sure it’s unrated only because Dimension didn’t submit it for a rating; if they had, it surely would have received exactly the same rating as the Theatrical Cut. Mostly this is just Rodriguez, a guy who loves big DVDs with comprehensive special features, giving the hardcore fans of the film an extra version that breaks up the film’s four stories and presents them like individual episodes in an anthology mini-series.

KEY DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MULTIPLE VERSIONS (SPOILERS AHEAD):
The disappointing part of the Recut, Extended, and Unrated Cut (henceforth the REU Cut) is that there really aren’t any key differences. Although the DVD packaging boasts that the REU Cut features “over 20 minutes” of new footage, that claim is extremely misleading, even if technically true. Three of the four stories are in fact extended. But basically 13 of the 20 new minutes are redundant credits sequences added to the end of each individual episode. In other words, the Theatrical Cut has one end credits sequence. The REU Cut has four.

The seven new minutes of actual content do very little to change the experience of the movie. At best they are inconsequential and at worst they were wisely cut for pacing by Rodriguez and Miller in the first place. Returning them to the film does it no favors. There’s no reason we need to know that Marv has hidden his beloved pistol Gladys in his mother’s house, and while it’s sort of cute to see this big tough guy tiptoeing around so his mom won’t hear him, the film flows better without it.

The same goes for the following scene from the beginning of Hartigan’s tale. The Theatrical Cut dissolves from Hartigan seemingly dying from his wounds to the beginning of Marv’s story. Then after “The Hard Goodbye” and “The Big Fat Kill” we return to Hartigan waking up in the hospital to the sound of Powers Boothe’s voice, a nice surprise if you’re unfamiliar with the books, and a clever way to approximate for the audience the feeling of time being ripped away from the character. In the REU Cut, where “That Yellow Bastard” stands on its own, those two beats are connected by a montage of visitors to Hartigan while he’s in the hospital, including his wife.

The REU “Big Fat Kill” includes one interesting extension. The story begins in the apartment of a waitress named Shellie (Brittany Murphy), who is being pestered by an ex-boyfriend named Jackie (del Toro) and a couple of his buddies. Jackie goes to the bathroom, and the goons start harassing Shellie, who defends herself with a kitchen knife. In the Theatrical Cut, that’s where the scene ends, on a striking close-up of Murphy, blade drawn, threatening to cut the “little pecker off” anyone who tries to touch her. In the REU Cut, there’s an additional beat, as we cut to a reverse angle on the buddies, who are unimpressed by her threats. One even draws a gun on her to shut her up. The Theatrical Cut makes Shellie a stronger and more imposing character, while the REU version diminishes her power. In a movie that doesn’t exactly present the most flattering or progressive portrait of women to begin with, cutting that scene short and giving Shellie a chance to be something more than a poor, helpless “dame,” was probably the right decision.

The one REU Cut addition I really like is also totally inessential and very brief. It comes during “The Hard Goodbye,” when Marv enters Kadie’s Bar looking for clues in the death of the prostitute.

Again, this beat, where Marv beats up “Weevil” to draw the attention of underworld characters with knowledge of his lover’s death, is totally unnecessary. But Weevil (note the animal nickname), described by Marv as “something small and hairy,” looks an awful lot like Hugh Jackman as Wolverine, and the beat of Marv handily kicking the crap out of this guy who looks like one of the most famous (and famously tough) movie super-heroes feels a little like one cartoonist pissing on another’s territory in a way I find very charming.

IF YOU ONLY WATCH ONE VERSION OF “SIN CITY,” WATCH:

The Theatrical Cut. The ability to watch each “Sin City” story separately sounds like a nice luxury on paper — not to mention a logical one, since Miller wrote and released each book separately — but the chapters work better together. The second half of “The Customer is Always Right” doesn’t make any sense if you don’t watch it after “The Big Fat Kill,” and “That Yellow Bastard” works really well as the bookend to the other two longer stories.

Calling the verison of “Sin City” on the DVD the Recut, Extended, Unrated Cut is wildly misleading, even if it’s also factually accurate. The movie isn’t so much recut as disentangled, its extensions are needless and minor, and even if the extra scenes had featured a ton of nudity or gore — which they don’t — they wouldn’t have changed much, since the movie was already a super-hard R to begin with.

The Theatrical “Sin City” is still a marvel: it’s bleak and beautiful, violent and poetic, funny and sorrowful. When this movie came out in theaters it didn’t look or sound like anything else; six years later, it still doesn’t (I’m sorry, you say Miller made a similar looking movie about “The Spirit?” I’ve never heard of it. Nope, doesn’t exist as far as I know). “Sin City”‘s not perfect but its imperfections are the stuff of Miller’s personal and occasionally distasteful vision, not studio meddling. The REU Cut is a nice luxury I guess, but a pointless one. It’s so similar to the theatrical version that even calling it an entirely different cut of the film feels like a sin.

Which version of “Sin City” do you prefer? Tell us in the comments below or on Facebook and Twitter.

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