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DID YOU READ

The 12 best movie footwear, from “Back to the Future” to “Spinal Tap”

The 12 best movie footwear, from “Back to the Future” to “Spinal Tap” (photo)

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Marty McFly’s shoes from “Back to the Future Part II” actually exist! Well, sort of, anyway. Regardless of the circumstances or limitations, the release of the light-up (if not self-tying) Nike Mags (which can be yours for around $5,000), means THE FUTURE IS NOW, so let’s go back to the past and take a look at some of the best movie footwear from yesteryears.

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vandamme.jpg1. “Knock Off” (the knock-off shoes)

One of Jean Claude Van Damme’s most underrated films, “Knock Off” features director Tsui Hark’s trademark hyperactive and wildly imaginative camera work. We’re especially fond of the picture-on-picture that comes up (for no particular reason) when Van Damme reaches into a box and pulls out a watch, but our favorite random flourish has to be when we enter a shoe from the point of view of Van Damme’s foot as he prepares to participate in a street race where he has to drag Rob Schneider in a cart behind him as the little man whips his butt with a belt (don’t ask). Too bad these shoes are, indeed, knock-offs — later, Hark swoops us into the heel of the shoe, where we see the materials shred and tear, leaving Van Damme to finish the race more or less sans footwear. A great movie with a great closing credits song by Sparks.


getsmart.jpg2. “Get Smart” (shoe phone)

Maxwell Smart, aka Agent 86, had plenty of sweet spy gadgets on the “Get Smart” television show of the ’60s, and many of these wonderful toys made it into the not-bad 2008 film adaptation starring Steve Carell. Even though it’s been rendered pretty much obsolete by things like, you know, cell phones, the shoe phone still proves to be a rather handy device for the bumbling secret agent. If nothing else, it makes for a swell visual gag — the sight of Carell looking ridiculously proud and suave as he displays a shoe phone as if it’s the most elegant of wristwatches or something is actually quite amusing. Anyway, if you can get a direct line to Anne Hathaway with one of those things, we want one.


wizardofoz.jpg3. “The Wizard of Oz” (ruby slippers)

The ruby slippers worn by Dorothy in “The Wizard of Oz” are now among the most treasured and valuable of film memorabilia. Why? Hey, who wouldn’t want to own a pair of shoes that can whoosh you off to Kansas with but a few clicks of the heels? They can also give wicked witches one heck of a shock when they try to take them off the feet of their squashed sister. The ruby slippers represent everything the film industry was embracing at the end of the ’30s when “The Wizard of Oz” debuted in theaters: glitter, glamour, color and magic. It’s too bad Dorothy couldn’t take these back to the farm with her.


boogienights.jpg4. “Boogie Nights” (Rollergirl’s roller skates)

Correct us if we’re wrong, but we don’t think there’s one scene in Paul Thomas Anderson’s bittersweet valentine to the world of adult entertainment where Rollergirl (Heather Graham) isn’t wearing her rollerskates. She’s even wearing them when she skips out on her high school exam in the film’s first act, officially dropping out of school to embrace life as a full-time porn actress. Rollergirl’s footwear of choice also comes in handy as a weapon when she uses her skates to smash in the face of some frat boy douchebag who dares “disrespect” her and her surrogate father, Jack Horner (Burt Reynolds). The wheels bring the pleasure… and the pain!


diehard.jpg5. “Die Hard” (the terrorist with feet smaller than John McClane’s sister’s)

“After you get where you’re going, you take off your shoes and your socks then you walk around on the rug barefoot and make fists with your toes.” Maybe if John McClane hadn’t taken this advice, he wouldn’t have spent most of “Die Hard” without footwear. It’s not like he didn’t try to snag a pair of shoes at some point along the way — unfortunately, the first terrorist he killed had feet that were “smaller than his sister’s.” Ah, well — if McClane had worn shoes, he wouldn’t have gotten shards of glass stuck in his feet, which means we wouldn’t have had the scene where he pulls out the shards whilst tearfully talking about his wife, which is still some of the best acting Bruce Willis has ever done. Anyway, for all the snarky self-conscious wretchedness of “Die Hard 2,” we’re surprised McClane never exclaimed, “Hey, at least I’m not barefoot this time!” Yeah, yeah.


spinaltap.jpg6. “This is Spinal Tap” (St. Hubbins)

Marty DiBergi: David St. Hubbins… I must admit I’ve never heard anybody with that name.
David St. Hubbins: It’s an unusual name. Well, he was an unusual saint, he’s not a very well-known saint…
Marty DiBergi: Oh, there actually is, uh… there was a “Saint Hubbins?”
David St. Hubbins: That’s right, yes.
Marty DiBergi: What was he the saint of?
David St. Hubbins: He was the Patron Saint of Quality Footwear.

Hey, someone’s got to be the saint of such a thing, right?


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IFC_Portlandia-S8_best-of-skits_subaru-blog

The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at IFC.com

IFC_Portlandia-S8_pick-a-lane_subaru-blog

Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

Uncle-Buck

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…