DID YOU READ

The 12 best movie footwear, from “Back to the Future” to “Spinal Tap”

The 12 best movie footwear, from “Back to the Future” to “Spinal Tap” (photo)

Posted by on

Marty McFly’s shoes from “Back to the Future Part II” actually exist! Well, sort of, anyway. Regardless of the circumstances or limitations, the release of the light-up (if not self-tying) Nike Mags (which can be yours for around $5,000), means THE FUTURE IS NOW, so let’s go back to the past and take a look at some of the best movie footwear from yesteryears.

[#1-6]   [#7-12]   [Index]


vandamme.jpg1. “Knock Off” (the knock-off shoes)

One of Jean Claude Van Damme’s most underrated films, “Knock Off” features director Tsui Hark’s trademark hyperactive and wildly imaginative camera work. We’re especially fond of the picture-on-picture that comes up (for no particular reason) when Van Damme reaches into a box and pulls out a watch, but our favorite random flourish has to be when we enter a shoe from the point of view of Van Damme’s foot as he prepares to participate in a street race where he has to drag Rob Schneider in a cart behind him as the little man whips his butt with a belt (don’t ask). Too bad these shoes are, indeed, knock-offs — later, Hark swoops us into the heel of the shoe, where we see the materials shred and tear, leaving Van Damme to finish the race more or less sans footwear. A great movie with a great closing credits song by Sparks.


getsmart.jpg2. “Get Smart” (shoe phone)

Maxwell Smart, aka Agent 86, had plenty of sweet spy gadgets on the “Get Smart” television show of the ’60s, and many of these wonderful toys made it into the not-bad 2008 film adaptation starring Steve Carell. Even though it’s been rendered pretty much obsolete by things like, you know, cell phones, the shoe phone still proves to be a rather handy device for the bumbling secret agent. If nothing else, it makes for a swell visual gag — the sight of Carell looking ridiculously proud and suave as he displays a shoe phone as if it’s the most elegant of wristwatches or something is actually quite amusing. Anyway, if you can get a direct line to Anne Hathaway with one of those things, we want one.


wizardofoz.jpg3. “The Wizard of Oz” (ruby slippers)

The ruby slippers worn by Dorothy in “The Wizard of Oz” are now among the most treasured and valuable of film memorabilia. Why? Hey, who wouldn’t want to own a pair of shoes that can whoosh you off to Kansas with but a few clicks of the heels? They can also give wicked witches one heck of a shock when they try to take them off the feet of their squashed sister. The ruby slippers represent everything the film industry was embracing at the end of the ’30s when “The Wizard of Oz” debuted in theaters: glitter, glamour, color and magic. It’s too bad Dorothy couldn’t take these back to the farm with her.


boogienights.jpg4. “Boogie Nights” (Rollergirl’s roller skates)

Correct us if we’re wrong, but we don’t think there’s one scene in Paul Thomas Anderson’s bittersweet valentine to the world of adult entertainment where Rollergirl (Heather Graham) isn’t wearing her rollerskates. She’s even wearing them when she skips out on her high school exam in the film’s first act, officially dropping out of school to embrace life as a full-time porn actress. Rollergirl’s footwear of choice also comes in handy as a weapon when she uses her skates to smash in the face of some frat boy douchebag who dares “disrespect” her and her surrogate father, Jack Horner (Burt Reynolds). The wheels bring the pleasure… and the pain!


diehard.jpg5. “Die Hard” (the terrorist with feet smaller than John McClane’s sister’s)

“After you get where you’re going, you take off your shoes and your socks then you walk around on the rug barefoot and make fists with your toes.” Maybe if John McClane hadn’t taken this advice, he wouldn’t have spent most of “Die Hard” without footwear. It’s not like he didn’t try to snag a pair of shoes at some point along the way — unfortunately, the first terrorist he killed had feet that were “smaller than his sister’s.” Ah, well — if McClane had worn shoes, he wouldn’t have gotten shards of glass stuck in his feet, which means we wouldn’t have had the scene where he pulls out the shards whilst tearfully talking about his wife, which is still some of the best acting Bruce Willis has ever done. Anyway, for all the snarky self-conscious wretchedness of “Die Hard 2,” we’re surprised McClane never exclaimed, “Hey, at least I’m not barefoot this time!” Yeah, yeah.


spinaltap.jpg6. “This is Spinal Tap” (St. Hubbins)

Marty DiBergi: David St. Hubbins… I must admit I’ve never heard anybody with that name.
David St. Hubbins: It’s an unusual name. Well, he was an unusual saint, he’s not a very well-known saint…
Marty DiBergi: Oh, there actually is, uh… there was a “Saint Hubbins?”
David St. Hubbins: That’s right, yes.
Marty DiBergi: What was he the saint of?
David St. Hubbins: He was the Patron Saint of Quality Footwear.

Hey, someone’s got to be the saint of such a thing, right?


[#1-6]   [#7-12]   [Index]
Watch More
JaniceAndJeffrey_102_MPX-1920×1080

Hard Out

Comedy From The Closet

Janice and Jeffrey Available Now On IFC's Comedy Crib

Posted by on

She’s been referred to as “the love child of Amy Sedaris and Tracy Ullman,” and he’s a self-described “Italian who knows how to cook a great spaghetti alla carbonara.” They’re Mollie Merkel and Matteo Lane, prolific indie comedians who blended their robust creative juices to bring us the new Comedy Crib series Janice and Jeffrey. Mollie and Matteo took time to answer our probing questions about their series and themselves. Here’s a taste.

JaniceAndJeffrey_106_MPX-1920x1080

IFC: How would you describe Janice and Jeffrey to a fancy network executive you met in an elevator?

Mollie & Matteo: Janice and Jeffrey is about a married couple experiencing intimacy issues but who don’t have a clue it’s because they are gay. Their oblivion makes them even more endearing.  Their total lack of awareness provides for a buffet of comedy.

IFC: What’s your origin story? How did you two people meet and how long have you been working together?

Mollie: We met at a dive bar in Wrigley Field Chicago. It was a show called Entertaining Julie… It was a cool variety scene with lots of talented people. I was doing Janice one night and Matteo was doing an impression of Liza Minnelli. We sort of just fell in love with each other’s… ACT! Matteo made the first move and told me how much he loved Janice and I drove home feeling like I just met someone really special.

IFC: How would Janice describe Jeffrey?

Mollie: “He can paint, cook homemade Bolognese, and sing Opera. Not to mention he has a great body. He makes me feel empowered and free. He doesn’t suffocate me with attention so our love has room to breath.”

IFC: How would Jeffrey describe Janice?

Matteo: “Like a Ford. Built to last.”

IFC: Why do you think the world is ready for this series?

Mollie & Matteo: Our current political world is mirroring and reflecting this belief that homosexuality is wrong. So what better time for satire. Everyone is so pro gay and equal rights, which is of course what we want, too. But no one is looking at middle America and people actually in the closet. No one is saying, hey this is really painful and tragic, and sitting with that. Having compassion but providing the desperate relief of laughter…This seemed like the healthiest, best way to “fight” the gay rights “fight”.

IFC: Hummus is hilarious. Why is it so funny?

Mollie: It just seems like something people take really seriously, which is funny to me. I started to see it in a lot of lesbians’ refrigerators at a time. It’s like observing a lesbian in a comfortable shoe. It’s a language we speak. Pass the Hummus. Turn on the Indigo Girls would ya?

See the whole season of Janice and Jeffrey right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

Watch More
IFC-Die-Hard-Dads

Die Hard Dads

Inspiration For Die Hard Dads

Die Hard is on IFC all Father's Day Long

Posted by on
Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIPHY

Yippee ki-yay, everybody! It’s time to celebrate the those most literal of mother-effers: dads!

And just in case the title of this post left anything to the imagination, IFC is giving dads balls-to-the-wall ’80s treatment with a glorious marathon of action trailblazer Die Hard.

There are so many things we could say about Die Hard. We could talk about how it was comedian Bruce Willis’s first foray into action flicks, or Alan Rickman’s big screen debut. But dads don’t give a sh!t about that stuff.

No, dads just want to fantasize that they could be deathproof quip factory John McClane in their own mundane lives. So while you celebrate the fathers in your life, consider how John McClane would respond to these traditional “dad” moments…

Wedding Toasts

Dads always struggle to find the right words of welcome to extend to new family. John McClane, on the other hand, is the master of inclusivity.
Die Hard wedding

Using Public Restrooms

While nine out of ten dads would rather die than use a disgusting public bathroom, McClane isn’t bothered one bit. So long as he can fit a bloody foot in the sink, he’s G2G.
Die Hard restroom

Awkward Dancing

Because every dad needs a signature move.
Die Hard dance

Writing Thank You Notes

It can be hard for dads to express gratitude. Not only can McClane articulate his thanks, he makes it feel personal.
Die Hard thank you

Valentine’s Day

How would John McClane say “I heart you” in a way that ain’t cliche? The image speaks for itself.
Die Hard valentines

Shopping

The only thing most dads hate more than shopping is fielding eleventh-hour phone calls with additional items for the list. But does McClane throw a typical man-tantrum? Nope. He finds the words to express his feelings like a goddam adult.
Die Hard thank you

Last Minute Errands

John McClane knows when a fight isn’t worth fighting.
Die Hard errands

Sneaking Out Of The Office Early

What is this, high school? Make a real exit, dads.
Die Hard office

Think you or your dad could stand to be more like Bruce? Role model fodder abounds in the Die Hard marathon all Father’s Day long on IFC.

Watch More
IFC-revenge-of-the-nerds-group

Founding Farters

Know Your Nerd History

Revenge of the Nerds is on IFC.

Posted by on
Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIFs via Giphy

That we live in the heyday of nerds is no hot secret. Scientists are celebrities, musicians are robots and late night hosts can recite every word of the Silmarillion. It’s too easy to think that it’s always been this way. But the truth is we owe much to our nerd forebearers who toiled through the jock-filled ’80s so that we might take over the world.

geowash_flat

Our humble beginnings are perhaps best captured in iconic ’80s romp Revenge of the Nerds. Like the founding fathers of our Country, the titular nerds rose above their circumstances to culturally pave the way for every Colbert and deGrasse Tyson that we know and love today.

To make sure you’re in the know about our very important cultural roots, here’s a quick download of the vengeful nerds without whom our shameful stereotypes might never have evolved.

Lewis Skolnick

The George Washington of nerds whose unflappable optimism – even in the face of humiliating self-awareness – basically gave birth to the Geek Pride movement.

Gilbert Lowe

OK, this guy is wet blanket, but an important wet blanket. Think Aaron Burr to Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Hamilton. His glass-mostly-empty attitude is a galvanizing force for Lewis. Who knows if Lewis could have kept up his optimism without Lowe’s Debbie-Downer outlook?

Arnold Poindexter

A music nerd who, after a soft start (inside joke, you’ll get it later), came out of his shell and let his passion lead instead of his anxiety. If you played an instrument (specifically, electric violin), and you were a nerd, this was your patron saint.

Booger

A sex-loving, blunt-smoking, nose-picking guitar hero. If you don’t think he sounds like a classic nerd, you’re absolutely right. And that’s the whole point. Along with Lamar, he simultaneously expanded the definition of nerd and gave pre-existing nerds a twisted sort of cred by association.

Lamar Latrell

Black, gay, and a crazy good breakdancer. In other words, a total groundbreaker. He proved to the world that nerds don’t have a single mold, but are simply outcasts waiting for their moment.

Ogre

Exceedingly stupid, this dumbass was monumental because he (in a sequel) leaves the jocks to become a nerd. Totally unheard of back then. Now all jocks are basically nerds.

Well, there they are. Never forget that we stand on their shoulders.

Revenge of the Nerds is on IFC all month long.

Watch More
Powered by ZergNet