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What to Watch on IFC: August 8 – August 14

What to Watch on IFC: August 8 – August 14 (photo)

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The dog days of summer are here and the mercury is rising, the smog settles in, and the humidity is making your hair frizz as high as the heavens. We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again, stay inside and let us entertain you. From Douglas Adams’ “Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” to “Rhett & Link: Commercial Kings” to another installment of “Whisker Wars” we have your television watching needs covered.

Here’s what to watch this week on IFC:

Monday

Don’t panic, the cinematic version of the first part of Douglas Adams’ five-part trilogy, “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” is here to make your Monday blues vanish like an intergalactic highway. Grab a towel because the fun starts at 3:45 p.m. ET.

Tuesday

There is no better way to spend your Tuesday than with Michael, Lucille, GOB, Lindsay, Buster, and George Michael Bluth. Especially if Tobias Funke will be there too. Back-to-back episodes of “Arrested Development” start at 6 p.m. ET.

Wednesday

Atom Egoyan (“The Sweet Hereafter”) crafts a low-key psychological thriller about the relationship between a lovesick young woman and an older man with an ugly secret, which turns out to be one of the most beautiful films about a serial killer ever. “Felicia’s Journey” airs at 11:45 a.m. ET.

Thursday

From a dazzling performance by Forrest Whitaker to a dizzying series of stylized shoot-outs, carrier pigeons, characters who read Rashomon, a French-speaking ice cream man, and a score by RZA, Jim Jarmusch’s “Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai” has something for everyone. It starts at 10:20 p.m. ET.

Friday

It’s the second episode of everyone’s favorite look at the world of competitive facial hair growing. That’s right “Whisker Wars” starts at 10:30 p.m. ET.

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Saturday

When two Catholic men from Boston set out to kill everyone in this Reservoir Dogs-style vigilante thriller, they do it with style. Sean Patrick Flanery and Norman Reedus star in “Boondock Saints” at 8:05 p.m. ET.

Sunday

Spend Sunday in Guillermo del Toro’s “Pan’s Labyrinth.” The hauntingly beautiful fantasy-drama set in the aftermath of the Spanish Civil War details the magical journey of an imaginative young girl who may be the mythical princess of an underground kingdom. It starts at 3:45 p.m. ET

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Face Melting Cameos

The 10 Most Metal Pop Culture Cameos

Glenn Danzig drops by Portlandia tonight at 10P on IFC.

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Glenn Danzig rocks harder than granite. In his 60 years, he’s mastered punk with The Misfits, slayed metal with the eponymous Danzig, and generally melted faces with the force of his voice. And thanks to Fred and Carrie, he’s now stopping by tonight’s brand new Portlandia so we can finally get to see what “Evil Elvis” is like when he hits the beach. To celebrate his appearance, we put together our favorite metal moments from pop culture, from the sublime to the absurd.

10. Cannibal Corpse meets Ace Ventura

Back in the ’90s,  Cannibal Corpse was just a small time band from Upstate New York, plying their death metal wares wherever they could find a crowd, when a call from Jim Carry transformed their lives. Turns out the actor was a fan, and wanted them for a cameo in his new movie, Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. The band had a European tour coming up, and were wary of being made fun of, so they turned it down. Thankfully, the rubber-faced In Living Color vet wouldn’t take no for an answer, proving that you don’t need to have a lot of fans, just the right ones.


9. AC/DC in Private Parts

Howard Stern’s autobiographical film, based on his book of the same name, followed his rise in the world of radio and pop culture. For a man surrounded by naked ladies and adoring fans, it’s hard to track the exact moment he made it. But rocking out with AC/DC in the middle of Central Park, as throngs of fans clamor to get a piece of you, seems like it comes pretty close. You can actually see Stern go from hit host to radio god in this clip, as “You Shook Me All Night Long” blasts in the background.


8. Judas Priest meets The Simpsons

When you want to blast a bunch of peace-loving hippies out on their asses, you’re going to need some death metal. At least, that’s what the folks at The Simpsons thought when they set up this cameo from the metal gods. Unfortunately, thanks to a hearty online backlash, the writers of the classic series were soon informed that Judas Priest, while many things, are not in fact “death metal.” This led to the most Simpson-esque apology ever. Rock on, Bartman. Rock on.


7. Anthrax on Married…With Children

What do you get when Married…with Children spoofs My Dinner With Andre, substituting the erudite playwrights for a band so metal they piss rust? Well, for starters, a lot of headbanging, property destruction and blown eardrums. And much like everything else in life, Al seems to have missed the fun.


6. Motorhead rocks out on The Young Ones

The Young Ones didn’t just premiere on BBC2 in 1982 — it kicked the doors down to a new way of doing comedy. A full-on assault on the staid state of sitcoms, the show brought a punk rock vibe to the tired format, and in the process helped jumpstart a comedy revolution. For instance, where an old sitcom would just cut from one scene to the next, The Young Ones choose to have Lemmy and his crew deliver a raw version of “Ace of Spades.” The general attitude seemed to be, you don’t like this? Well, then F— you!


5. Red and Kitty Meet Kiss on That ’70s Show

Carsey-Werner Productions

Carsey-Werner Productions

Long before they were banished to playing arena football games, Kiss was the hottest ticket in rock. The gang from That ’70s Show got to live out every ’70s teen’s dream when they were set loose backstage at a Kiss concert, taking full advantage of groupies, ganja and hard rock.


4. Ronnie James Dio in Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny (NSFW, people!)

What does a young boy do when he was born to rock, and the world won’t let him? What tight compadre does he pray to for guidance and some sweet licks? If you’re a young Jables, half of “the world’s most awesome band,” you bow your head to Ronnie James Dio, aka the guy who freaking taught the world how to do the “Metal Horns.” Never before has a rock god been so literal than in this clip that turns it up to eleven.


3. Ozzy Osbourne in Trick or Treat

It’s hard to tell if Ozzy was trying his hardest here, or just didn’t give a flying f–k. What is clear is that, either way, it doesn’t really matter. Ozzy’s approach to acting seems to lean more heavily on Jack Daniels than sense memory, and yet seeing the slurry English rocker play a sex-obsessed televangelist is so ridiculous, he gets a free pass. Taking part in the cult horror Trick or Treat, Ozzy proves that he makes things better just by showing up. Because that’s exactly what he did here. Showed up. And it rocks.


2. Glenn Danzig on Portlandia

Danzig seems to be coming out of a self imposed exile these days. He just signed with a record company, and his appearance on Portlandia is reminding everyone how kick ass he truly is. Who else but “The Other Man in Black” could help Portland’s resident goths figure out what to wear to the beach? Carrie Brownstein called Danzig “amazing,” and he called Fred “a genius,” so this was a rare love fest for the progenitor of horror punk.


1. Alice Cooper in Wayne’s World

It’s surprising, sure, but for a scene that contains no music whatsoever, it’s probably the most famous metal moment in the history of film. When Alice Cooper informed Wayne and Garth that Milwaukee is actually pronounced “Milly-way-kay” back in 1992, he created one of the most famous scenes in comedy history. What’s more metal than that? Much like Wayne and Garth, we truly are not worthy.

Tune in Tonight for a Sneak Peek of “Portlandia”

Tune in Tonight for a Sneak Peek of “Portlandia” (photo)

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We know you were going to watch the premiere of “Whisker Wars” tonight at 11 p.m. ET anyway, but we’re like mad genius bakers and we wanted to add some icing to that already delicious cake. To that end, we’re showing a special sneak peek of the second season of “Portlandia” during the premiere episode of “Whisker Wars.” In that sneak peek we will get a hint as to what Fred Armisen, Carrie Brownstein, and the rest of the denizens of the delightful land of Portlandia have been up to since the end of last season. The one thing we know for sure is that they are filming the second season of the hit sketch comedy show now in Portland, Or. (no relation) and have issued this from the set:

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Intriguing, right? So tune in to “Whisker Wars” tonight and enjoy the double dose of sugary goodness.

And here’s a quick reminder of why you love “Portlandia” so much:

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“Portlandia” airs tonight at 10:30 p.m. ET and returns to IFC in January 2012

“Whisker Wars”: Sneak Peek, Part Five

“Whisker Wars”: Sneak Peek, Part Five (photo)

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Are you ready for the “Whisker Wars” premiere? Have you put a beard on it? Have you figured out your beard’s spirit animal? Have you voted whether Mr. T or Chuck Norris deserves to be in the Beard Hall of Fame? Taken the beard survey? Yes? Then you are ready for tonight’s premiere of “Whisker Wars” at 11 p.m. ET/10 CT tonight. Yes, we said tonight. See you there! After you watch the final installment of our sneak peeks, of course:

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“Whisker Wars” premieres tonight at 11 p.m. ET

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