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DID YOU READ

Our five favorite least friendly movie monkeys

Our five favorite least friendly movie monkeys (photo)

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Friendly monkeys in film do exist. Unfortunately, humanity receives a rude wake-up call this week in director Rupert Wyatt’s “Rise of the Planet of the Ape,” and the rebooted film franchise, based on Pierre Boulle’s “Planet of the Apes” novel, features some highly intelligent, highly ticked off monkeys.

Humans have fought this battle before on the big screen, though. Many of the meanest movie monkeys had good reason to be irked, like explorers invading their homes, psycho magical witches giving them commands and being kidnapped. Here are our picks for the five least friendly monkeys among them.


5. The winged monkeys, “The Wizard of Oz” (1939)
They look happy and care-free, but these little blue slaves to the Wicked Witch of the West (Margaret Hamilton) rip apart Dorothy’s (Judy Garland) friend The Scarecrow (Ray Bolger) and whisk her off to be imprisoned in a big, scary castle. They may dress in snappy red vests, but they’re bad news to anyone who happens to anger their boss.


4. Dr. James Brewster, “The Ape Man” (1943)
In a classic Jekyll-and-Hyde-style scenario Dr. Brewster (Bela Lugosi) transforms himself into a hairy half man, half ape, which means that he has to find a way to become completely human again. Thankfully for him, he’s got a gorilla sidekick to help him track down some human spinal fluid for his cure. Unfortunately for his neighbors, he’s got to find someone to extract that fluid from.


3. General Ursus, “Beneath the Planet of the Apes” (1968)
When it came to human-hating, ego-maniacal bad guys in the first “Planet of the Apes” films, Ursus (James Gregory) was the gorilla to root against. The mutant humans beneath the surface weren’t the nicest people, either, but Ursus wanted nothing more than total ape domination. He did wear one of the coolest helmets in the history of monkey military gear, however.


2. The gray gorillas, “Congo” (1995)
All the scary-looking puppet-gorillas in “Congo” wanted to do was protect their home, but pesky humans kept creeping in and trying to take their diamonds. There’s a valuable lesson here. Never take diamonds from an ancient city guarded by primates with about a thousand times your muscle mass. They will rip your eyeballs out and throw them back out into the jungle without thinking twice.


1. King Kong, “King Kong” (1933)
The iconic misunderstood, mistreated, hunted down native on this list is none other than King Kong. You must have expected this when you first read our title. After all, he is probably the most famous character in all of film. Nevertheless, no single gorilla on the big screen has inspired fear on the scale that this fellow did. Thus, he gets our number one slot.


Did we miss your favorite? Chime in with your own picks in the comments below or on Facebook or Twitter.

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Hacked In

Funny or Die Is Taking Over

FOD TV comes to IFC every Saturday night.

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We’ve been fans of Funny or Die since we first met The Landlord. That enduring love makes it more than logical, then, that IFC is totally cool with FOD hijacking the airwaves every Saturday night. Yes, that’s happening.

The appropriately titled FOD TV looks like something pulled from public access television in the nineties. Like lo-fi broken-antenna reception and warped VHS tapes. Equal parts WTF and UHF.

Get ready for characters including The Shirtless Painter, Long-Haired Businessmen, and Pigeon Man. They’re aptly named, but for a better sense of what’s in store, here’s a taste of ASMR with Kelly Whispers:

Watch FOD TV every Saturday night during IFC’s regularly scheduled movies.

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Wicked Good

See More Evil

Stan Against Evil Season 1 is on Hulu.

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Okay, so you missed the entire first season of Stan Against Evil. There’s no shame in that, per se. But here’s the thing: Season 2 is just around the corner and you don’t want to lag behind. After all, Season 1 had some critical character development, not to mention countless plot twists, and a breathless finale cliffhanger that’s been begging for resolution since last fall. It also had this:

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The good news is that you can catch up right now on Hulu. Phew. But if you aren’t streaming yet, here’s a basic primer…

Willards Mill Is Evil

Stan spent his whole career as sheriff oblivious to the fact that his town has a nasty curse. Mostly because his recently-deceased wife was secretly killing demons and keeping Stan alive.

Demons Really Want To Kill Stan

The curse on Willards Mill stipulates that damned souls must hunt and kill each and every town sheriff, or “constable.” Oh, and these demons are shockingly creative.

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They Also Want To Kill Evie

Why? Because Evie’s a sheriff too, and the curse on Willard’s Mill doesn’t have a “one at a time” clause. Bummer, Evie.

Stan and Evie Must Work Together

Beating the curse will take two, baby, but that’s easier said than done because Stan doesn’t always seem to give a damn. Damn!

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Beware of Goats

It goes without saying for anyone who’s seen the show: If you know that ancient evil wants to kill you, be wary of anything that has cloven feet.

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Season 2 Is Lurking

Scary new things are slouching towards Willards Mill. An impending darkness descending on Stan, Evie and their cohort – eviler evil, more demony demons, and whatnot. And if Stan wants to survive, he’ll have to get even Stanlier.

Stan Against Evil Season 1 is now streaming right now on Hulu.

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SO EXCITED!!!

Reminders that the ’90s were a thing

"The Place We Live" is available for a Jessie Spano-level binge on Comedy Crib.

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Unless you stopped paying attention to the world at large in 1989, you are of course aware that the ’90s are having their pop cultural second coming. Nobody is more acutely aware of this than Dara Katz and Betsy Kenney, two comedians who met doing improv comedy and have just made their Comedy Crib debut with the hilarious ’90s TV throwback series, The Place We Live.

IFC: How would you describe “The Place We Live” to a fancy network executive you just met in an elevator?

Dara: It’s everything you loved–or loved to hate—from Melrose Place and 90210 but condensed to five minutes, funny (on purpose) and totally absurd.

IFC: How would you describe “The Place We Live” to a drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?

Betsy: “Hey Todd, why don’t you have a sip of water. Also, I think you’ll love The Place We Live because everyone has issues…just like you, Todd.”

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IFC: When you were living through the ’90s, did you think it was television’s golden age or the pop culture apocalypse?


Betsy: I wasn’t sure I knew what it was, I just knew I loved it!


Dara: Same. Was just happy that my parents let me watch. But looking back, the ’90s honored The Teen. And for that, it’s the golden age of pop culture. 

IFC: Which ’90s shows did you mine for the series, and why?

Betsy: Melrose and 90210 for the most part. If you watch an episode of either of those shows you’ll see they’re a comedic gold mine. In one single episode, they cover serious crimes, drug problems, sex and working in a law firm and/or gallery, all while being young, hot and skinny.


Dara: And almost any series we were watching in the ’90s, Full House, Saved By the Bell, My So Called Life has very similar themes, archetypes and really stupid-intense drama. We took from a lot of places. 

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IFC: How would you describe each of the show’s characters in terms of their ’90s TV stereotype?

Dara: Autumn (Sunita Mani) is the femme fatale. Robin (Dara Katz) is the book worm (because she wears glasses). Candace (Betsy Kenney) is Corey’s twin and gives great advice and has really great hair. Corey (Casey Jost) is the boy next door/popular guy. Candace and Corey’s parents decided to live in a car so the gang can live in their house. 
Lee (Jonathan Braylock) is the jock.

IFC: Why do you think the world is ready for this series?

Dara: Because everyone’s feeling major ’90s nostalgia right now, and this is that, on steroids while also being a totally new, silly thing.

Delight in the whole season of The Place We Live right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib. It’ll take you back in all the right ways.