DID YOU READ

Our favorite movie glasses of all time

Our favorite movie glasses of all time (photo)

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We would argue that it’s the spectacles and not the clothes that make the man or woman. Here are some of the best glasses in movies, from the ones sported so iconically by the Boy Who Lived in the “Harry Potter” movies to the alien-revealing shades in “They Live” to the damnable specs in “The Jerk.”

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The Matrix

Never mind that wearing sunglasses would seriously hinder your fighting skills, even in a virtual world — looking cool is top priority in the land of the Wachowskis. Neo, Trinity and Morpheus look great in their shaded specs as they leap, kick, punch, shoot guns and answer ringing telephones, but our favorite pair belongs to Agent Smith. The look of surprise/annoyance/slight concern on his face after Neo manages to break them in the original “Matrix” is classic: “I’m going to enjoy watching you die, Mr. Anderson.” Smash an Agent’s glasses and the fight gets personal.


“Harry Potter”

If Daniel Radcliffe wants a career post-“Harry Potter,” all he has to do is make sure to never, ever wear glasses again. Really, Radcliffe could star in a gritty war drama or an action comedy about bumbling bank robbers — as far from Hogwarts as he could possibly get — but if he’s wearing glasses, we’ll immediately think “Harry Potter,” and all is lost. To say that Harry’s specs are “iconic” is the understatement of the century — they’re as essential to his character as Indiana Jones’ hat or the Cigarette Smoking Man’s, uh, cigarette.


“Men in Black”

Again, wearing sunglasses would probably seriously hinder your investigative and/or fighting skills when you’re a secret government agent protecting the Earth from the scum of the universe, but as Will Smith’s Agent J says, “I make this look good.” Tommy Lee Jones as Agent K doesn’t look too shabby in them, either. Here’s hoping that next summer’s “Men in Black III” will be as cool as its two stars — and that Josh Brolin, as a young version of Agent K, can work the shades as well as his future self.


“They Live”

“Put on these glasses… or start eatin’ that trashcan.” Normal human beings would obey ‘Rowdy’ Roddy Piper without question, no matter how seemingly bizarre the order, but Keith David decides to pick a fight instead, just out of principle (or because director John Carpenter says so). One of the most epic two-man fight scenes ever put to film is over a pair of sunglasses that allow you to see the world as it really is — a consumerist dystopian wasteland run by ugly aliens. David eventually puts on the glasses, which means he’ll never know how tasty that trashcan might’ve been.


“Dream a Little Dream 2”

You didn’t think we’d forget the Coreys, did you? First of all, yes, there was a “Dream a Little Dream 2,” and it’s now available on Netflix Instant if you require proof. You don’t necessarily need to actually watch it… actually, on second thought, yes, you do — you need to watch the madcap antics of Haim and Feldman as they stumble across magic sunglasses that allow you to control the mind of whoever’s wearing a second pair. It’s all very trippy and stupid, and Feldman indulges in another impromptu dance routine, this time in someone’s kitchen. Whoa boy.


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New Nasty

Whips, Chains and Hand Sanitizer

Turn On The Full Season Of Neurotica At IFC's Comedy Crib

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Jenny Jaffe has a lot going on: She’s writing for Disney’s upcoming Big Hero 6: The Series, developing comedy projects with pals at Devastator Press, and she’s straddling the line between S&M and OCD as the creator and star of the sexyish new series Neurotica, which has just made its debut on IFC’s Comedy Crib. Jenny gave us some extremely intimate insight into what makes Neurotica (safely) sizzle…

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IFC: How would you describe Neurotica to a fancy network executive you met in an elevator?

Jenny: Neurotica is about a plucky Dominatrix with OCD trying to save her small-town dungeon. 

IFC: How would you describe Neurotica to a drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?

Jenny: Neurotica is about a plucky Dominatrix with OCD trying to save her small-town dungeon. You’re great. We should get coffee sometime. I’m not just saying that. I know other people just say that sometimes but I really feel like we’re going to be friends, you know? Here, what’s your number, I’ll call you so you can have my number! 

IFC: What’s your comedy origin story?

Jenny: Since I was a kid I’ve dealt with severe OCD and anxiety. Comedy has always been one of the ways I’ve dealt with that. I honestly just want to help make people feel happy for a few minutes at a time. 

IFC: What was the genesis of Neurotica?

Jenny: I’m pretty sure it was a title-first situation. I was coming up with ideas to pitch to a production company a million years ago (this isn’t hyperbole; I am VERY old) and just wrote down “Neurotica”; then it just sort of appeared fully formed. “Neurotica? Oh it’s an over-the-top romantic comedy about a Dominatrix with OCD, of course.” And that just happened to hit the buttons of everything I’m fascinated by. 

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IFC: How would you describe Ivy?

Jenny: Ivy is everything I love in a comedy character – she’s tenacious, she’s confident, she’s sweet, she’s a big wonderful weirdo. 

IFC: How would Ivy’s clientele describe her?

Jenny:  Open-minded, caring, excellent aim. 

IFC: Why don’t more small towns have local dungeons?

Jenny: How do you know they don’t? 

IFC: What are the pros and cons of joining a chain mega dungeon?

Jenny: You can use any of their locations but you’ll always forget you have a membership and in a year you’ll be like “jeez why won’t they let me just cancel?” 

IFC: Mouths are gross! Why is that?

Jenny: If you had never seen a mouth before and I was like “it’s a wet flesh cave with sharp parts that lives in your face”, it would sound like Cronenberg-ian body horror. All body parts are horrifying. I’m kind of rooting for the singularity, I’d feel way better if I was just a consciousness in a cloud. 

See the whole season of Neurotica right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

The-Craft

The ’90s Are Back

The '90s live again during IFC's weekend marathon.

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Photo Credit: Everett Digital, Columbia Pictures

We know what you’re thinking: “Why on Earth would anyone want to reanimate the decade that gave us Haddaway, Los Del Rio, and Smash Mouth, not to mention Crystal Pepsi?”

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Thoughts like those are normal. After all, we tend to remember lasting psychological trauma more vividly than fleeting joy. But if you dig deep, you’ll rediscover that the ’90s gave us so much to fondly revisit. Consider the four pillars of true ’90s culture.

Boy Bands

We all pretended to hate them, but watch us come alive at a karaoke bar when “I Want It That Way” comes on. Arguably more influential than Brit Pop and Grunge put together, because hello – Justin Timberlake. He’s a legitimate cultural gem.

Man-Child Movies

Adam Sandler is just behind The Simpsons in terms of his influence on humor. Somehow his man-child schtick didn’t get old until the aughts, and his success in that arena ushered in a wave of other man-child movies from fellow ’90s comedians. RIP Chris Farley (and WTF Rob Schneider).

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Teen Angst

In horror, dramas, comedies, and everything in between: Troubled teens! Getting into trouble! Who couldn’t relate to their First World problems, plaid flannels, and lose grasp of the internet?

Mainstream Nihilism

From the Coen Bros to Fincher to Tarantino, filmmakers on the verge of explosive popularity seemed interested in one thing: mind f*cking their audiences by putting characters in situations (and plot lines) beyond anyone’s control.

Feeling better about that walk down memory lane? Good. Enjoy the revival.

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And revisit some important ’90s classics all this weekend during IFC’s ’90s Marathon. Check out the full schedule here.

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Get Physical

DVDs are the new Vinyl

Portlandia Season 7 Now Available On Disc.

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In this crazy digital age, sometimes all we really want is to reach out and touch something. Maybe that’s why so many of us are still gung-ho about owning stuff on DVD. It’s tangible. It’s real. It’s tech from a bygone era that still feels relevant, yet also kitschy and retro. It’s basically vinyl for people born after 1990.

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Inevitably we all have that friend whose love of the disc is so absolutely repellent that he makes the technology less appealing. “The resolution, man. The colors. You can’t get latitude like that on a download.” Go to hell, Tim.

Yes, Tim sucks, and you don’t want to be like Tim, but maybe he’s onto something and DVD is still the future. Here are some benefits that go beyond touch.

It’s Decor and Decorum

With DVDs and a handsome bookshelf you can show off your great taste in film and television without showing off your search history. Good for first dates, dinner parties, family reunions, etc.

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Forget Public Wifi

Warm up that optical drive. No more awkwardly streaming episodes on shady free wifi!

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Inter-not

Internet service goes down. It happens all the time. It could happen right now. Then what? Without a DVD on hand you’ll be forced to make eye contact with your friends and family. Or worse – conversation.

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Self Defense

You can’t throw a download like a ninja star. Think about it.

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If you’d like to experience the benefits DVD ownership yourself, Portlandia Season 7 is now available on DVD and Blue-Ray.