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Ten Avengers who won’t be getting their own Marvel movies any time soon

Ten Avengers who won’t be getting their own Marvel movies any time soon (photo)

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“The Avengers” hits theaters next year, bringing some of Marvel Comics’ most popular superheroes together on one screen. Not only will the film feature solo stars Iron Man, Thor, Captain America, and Hulk, but it will also include characters like Black Widow and Hawkeye whose presence in Marvel’s cinematic universe have been relegated to cameos thus far.

However, those are far from the only members of the Avengers roster that Hollywood can chose from. As one of Marvel’s oldest superhero teams, it’s almost easier to name the Marvel Comics characters who haven’t held an Avengers ID at one point or another.

And while some of the names on the Avengers roster could certainly factor into the upcoming film and future Marvel movies, there are quite a few characters who it’s safe to assume will never make the leap to page to screen.

From a bikini-clad tigress to a time-traveling gunslinger, here are ten Avengers who probably won’t appear in Marvel’s live-action movies.


TIGRA

Introduced back in the early ’70s, Tigra is the name used by superheroine Greer Grant Nelson, a scientist’s assistant who was granted cat-like superhuman powers in a radical experiment. She was later magically transformed into a “Cat Person” with orange fur, tiger stripes, and a tail. While she’s been given the chance to transform back into a human at points, she prefers to hang out in her feline form, usually wearing nothing but a tiny string bikini.

WHY NOT: While there’s certainly room for another female superhero in “The Avengers,” we can’t really see Sam Jackson’s Nick Fury taking this magical tiger lady very seriously.


STARFOX

A red-haired superhero evolved from an alien offshoot of humanity, Starfox is the Avengers codename for Eros, a character created in 1973 by Jim Starlin and Mike Friedrich. Along with possessing the ability to fly, superhuman strength and stamina, and a unique healing ability, Starfox’s primary claim to fame is the ability to stimulate the pleasure centers of other creatures’ brains. Over the years, he’s used this ability to bed a long list of female superheroes, and eventually found himself on trial for sexual assault, charged with using his powers to seduce a married woman.

WHY NOT: When it comes to “The Avengers,” one lothario (Tony Stark) is probably enough — especially if the alternative is an alien with a sketchy history of sexual offenses.


STINGRAY

Walter Newell is an oceanographer with a special suit that gives him superhuman strength and the ability to swim really, really fast (and glide through the air for short distances). He can also shoot electric blasts from his fingers.

WHY NOT: While the character has his fans, let’s face it: unless there’s a lot of underwater action in “The Avengers,” we probably won’t see Stingray.


DARKHAWK

After teenager Chris Powell found a weird amulet in an abandoned amusement park, he found that he was able to switch bodies with a powerful android and decided to fight crime as the superhero Darkhawk. The character was introduced in the early ’90s and after spending a few years in his own series, he was demoted to occasional cameo status around the Marvel Comics universe — including a brief stint with the West Coast Avengers. His origin is a convoluted mess that’s been rewritten several times over, and while he has a vocal fanbase, he’s never managed to elevate his status beyond C-List hero.

WHY NOT: Even though I’m a fan of Darkhawk, I know it would take at least two hours just to make his backstory begin to make sense to mainstream movie audiences. Sorry, Darkhawk fans…


MACHINE MAN

Created by comics legend Jack Kirby for a comic based on “2001: A Space Odyssey,” Machine Man is a humanoid android superhero who served on the West Coast Avengers for several years before having his membership revoked. The character received a complete revamp at the hands of writer Warren Ellis, and now exists as an obnoxious, beer-fueled employee of S.H.I.E.L.D. He frequently complains about the “fleshy ones” he’s forced to work with, and likes to talk about his “sexy roboty parts.”

WHY NOT: Yeah, there’s probably no need to explain why Machine Man won’t appear in “The Avengers.” Let’s be honest, though: we all secretly want to see him in that movie.


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Rev Up

Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Give Back

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…

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A-O Rewind

Celebrating Portlandia One Sketch at a Time

The final season of Portlandia approaches.

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GIFs via Giphy

Most people measure time in minutes, hours, days, years…At IFC, we measure it in sketches. And nothing takes us way (waaaaaay) back like Portlandia sketches. Yes, there’s a Portlandia milepost from every season that changed the way we think, behave, and pickle things. In honor of Portlandia’s 8th and final season, Subaru presents a few of our favorites.

via GIPHY

Put A Bird On It

Portlandia enters the pop-culture lexicon and inspires us to put birds on literally everything.

Colin the Chicken

Who’s your chicken, really? Behold the emerging locavore trend captured perfectly to the nth degree.

Dream Of The ’90s

This treatise on Portland made it clear that “the dream” was alive and well.

No You Go

We Americans spend most of our lives in cars. Fortunately, there’s a Portlandia sketch for every automotive situation.

A-O River!

We learned all our outdoor survival skills from Kath and Dave.

One More Episode

The true birth of binge watching, pre-Netflix. And what you’ll do once Season 8 premieres.

Catch up on Portlandia’s best moments before the 8th season premieres January 18th on IFC.

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