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Match Cuts: “Dark Star”

Match Cuts: “Dark Star” (photo)

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In Match Cuts, we examine every available version of a film, and decide once and for all which is the one, definitive cut worth watching. This week, in honor of John Carpenter’s new film “The Ward,” we’re looking at his very first film: “Dark Star.”

EDITIONS:
-Original Movie Cut (1974): 68 minutes

-Theatrical Cut (1975): 83 minutes

THE STORY:
The four-man crew of the spaceship Dark Star is twenty years into their mission to locate and destroy unstable planets that pose a threat to future Earth colonies. The spacemen, led by Lt. Doolittle (Brian Narelle), dump bombs on the unstable planets then blast away at hyperspeed before they explode. Their lives between detonations are boring and tedious; the crew is so disengaged and disinterested in their jobs that they barely notice that Dark Star has been damaged in an asteroid storm, and that the malfunction could have disastrous consequences for their next bombing run.


REASON FOR MULTIPLE VERSIONS:
“Dark Star” began life as a University of Southern California student film by co-writer/editor/co-star Dan O’Bannon and producer/director/co-writer John Carpenter. Screened locally on campus and at a few festivals, the film garnered positive reviews and zero distributor interest until Carpenter brought it to veteran Hollywood producer Jack H. Harris. As the man who shepherded movies like “The Blob,” “Equinox,” and “Schlock” to theaters, Harris had a good track record with young directors and science-fiction, so he decided to to take a chance on “Dark Star.” He gave Carpenter and O’Bannon roughly $60,000 to expand the 68 minute film to feature length by shooting several additional sequences. In the most famous, the ship’s resident alien escapes from his room during dinner and leads the hapless Sgt. Pinback (O’Bannon) on a high wire chase through the ship’s ventilation system and elevator shaft.

Though he begrudgingly fulfilled Harris’ requests, Carpenter didn’t like working with his new producer and hated his demands. Thus the “Original Movie Cut” as it’s described by VCI, the distributors of “Dark Star”‘s current DVD edition, which according to their official site “honor[s] the filmmakers’ wishes.” Confusingly, though, this Original Movie Cut does include at least one sequence that was shot for Harris’ Theatrical Cut (the Pinback elevator chase). That suggests this “original” version is a cross between the first director’s cut Carpenter screened at USC in 1974 and the one that Harris released to theaters in 1975.

KEY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MULTIPLE VERSIONS (SPOILERS AHEAD):
The previous section laid out the main differences for the films: the Original Movie Cut runs 68 minutes while the Theatrical Cut is 15 minutes longer with three additional sequences. Both cuts open in identical fashion: a video message from Earth to the Dark Star followed by the crew blowing up their nineteenth unstable planet. From there the two versions split: the longer cut shows the Dark Star come under assault from an asteroid storm. The full scene isn’t available on YouTube (none of the cut scenes are, unfortunately) but you can see a glimpse of it at 1:06 of the “Dark Star” trailer:

This scene is particularly important to the narrative because the asteroid storm damages a crucial laser needed to control the Dark Star’s bombs; in the Original Movie Cut, which is missing this scene, the malfunction that ultimately causes the destruction of the ship and the death of our slacker heroes has no clear cause. This sequence also introduces us to the ship’s computer, voiced by Cookie Knapp. Carpenter must have hated how this computer looked (which you can see at 1:46 of the trailer above) — with numbers and letters arranged on an old monitor so they look like a human face — because almost every shot of it in the Theatrical Cut of the film is missing from the Original Movie Cut.

Less important to the narrative but also missing from the Original Movie Cut are two scenes that immediately follow the asteroid storm. In the first, Doolittle, Pinback, and Sgt. Boiler (Cal Kuniholm) unwind after their close call with a trip to the food storage locker they’ve converted into sleeping quarters. Not a whole lot happens — Boiler even gets so bored he starts up a game of 5-finger filet — and that’s the point: space travel in “Dark Star” ping pongs between white-knuckle excitement and bloody fingered boredom. Eventually Doolittle leaves and goes to another room, where he plays a homemade musical instrument made out of empty bottles and assorted knick-knacks. After he plays some music (written, like the rest of the film’s atmospheric score, by John Carpenter) he goes to see Sgt. Talby (Dre Pahich) in the observation deck, which looks like a giant version of the Pop-O-Matic bubble, and the two cuts resynchronize.

IF YOU ONLY WATCH ONE VERSION OF “DARK STAR,” WATCH:
The Theatrical Cut. Even if the Original Movie Cut is the version Carpenter and O’Bannon prefer, Jack Harris got this one right. Though O’Bannon dismisses the “Dark Star” that audiences got to see by saying that he and the other filmmakers “had the world’s most impressive student film and it became the world’s least impressive professional film,” the quote-unquote “professional” version plays better. Ironically, the stuff that Carpenter complains Harris wanted cut — the scenes of the crew sitting around and killing time — are longer and more extensive in the version Harris demanded. The Original Movie is more streamlined, I suppose, but it’s also an easier sit. The theatrical cut gives you a better taste of the soul-crushing boredom of space travel, which I’m pretty sure is a big part of what Carpenter and O’Bannon were after in the first place.

Even more importantly, the asteroid storm scene that’s missing from the Original Movie Cut sets up the MacGuffin that eventually triggers the film’s explosive finale. Without it, the end of “Dark Star” is missing its motivation. When Talby tells Doolittle he’s “found the malfunction” in the Theatrical Cut it’s obvious he’s talking about the broken laser. When he says the exact same line in the Original Movie, it doesn’t make any sense. What malfunction? It’s the first we’re hearing about it. I suppose you could make the argument that Carpenter and O’Bannon wanted the ending to have more of an air of randomness and inescapability. But the Theatrical Cut has those as well (a freak asteroid storm’s pretty random and inescapable too, y’know). It also has a more satisfying narrative throughline.

The Theatrical Cut is still only 80 minutes long. It’s not like it’s massive time commitment to go for the “longer” version of this movie. It may not fly by at hyperspeed like the Original Movie, but it’s a more satisfying trip.

The Original Movie Cut and Theatrical Cut of “Dark Star” are available together on a two-disc Hyperdrive Edition DVD. Which is your favorite cut of the film? Tell us in the comments below or on Facebookand Twitter!

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Hard Out

Comedy From The Closet

Janice and Jeffrey Available Now On IFC's Comedy Crib

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She’s been referred to as “the love child of Amy Sedaris and Tracy Ullman,” and he’s a self-described “Italian who knows how to cook a great spaghetti alla carbonara.” They’re Mollie Merkel and Matteo Lane, prolific indie comedians who blended their robust creative juices to bring us the new Comedy Crib series Janice and Jeffrey. Mollie and Matteo took time to answer our probing questions about their series and themselves. Here’s a taste.

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IFC: How would you describe Janice and Jeffrey to a fancy network executive you met in an elevator?

Mollie & Matteo: Janice and Jeffrey is about a married couple experiencing intimacy issues but who don’t have a clue it’s because they are gay. Their oblivion makes them even more endearing.  Their total lack of awareness provides for a buffet of comedy.

IFC: What’s your origin story? How did you two people meet and how long have you been working together?

Mollie: We met at a dive bar in Wrigley Field Chicago. It was a show called Entertaining Julie… It was a cool variety scene with lots of talented people. I was doing Janice one night and Matteo was doing an impression of Liza Minnelli. We sort of just fell in love with each other’s… ACT! Matteo made the first move and told me how much he loved Janice and I drove home feeling like I just met someone really special.

IFC: How would Janice describe Jeffrey?

Mollie: “He can paint, cook homemade Bolognese, and sing Opera. Not to mention he has a great body. He makes me feel empowered and free. He doesn’t suffocate me with attention so our love has room to breath.”

IFC: How would Jeffrey describe Janice?

Matteo: “Like a Ford. Built to last.”

IFC: Why do you think the world is ready for this series?

Mollie & Matteo: Our current political world is mirroring and reflecting this belief that homosexuality is wrong. So what better time for satire. Everyone is so pro gay and equal rights, which is of course what we want, too. But no one is looking at middle America and people actually in the closet. No one is saying, hey this is really painful and tragic, and sitting with that. Having compassion but providing the desperate relief of laughter…This seemed like the healthiest, best way to “fight” the gay rights “fight”.

IFC: Hummus is hilarious. Why is it so funny?

Mollie: It just seems like something people take really seriously, which is funny to me. I started to see it in a lot of lesbians’ refrigerators at a time. It’s like observing a lesbian in a comfortable shoe. It’s a language we speak. Pass the Hummus. Turn on the Indigo Girls would ya?

See the whole season of Janice and Jeffrey right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

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Die Hard Dads

Inspiration For Die Hard Dads

Die Hard is on IFC all Father's Day Long

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIPHY

Yippee ki-yay, everybody! It’s time to celebrate the those most literal of mother-effers: dads!

And just in case the title of this post left anything to the imagination, IFC is giving dads balls-to-the-wall ’80s treatment with a glorious marathon of action trailblazer Die Hard.

There are so many things we could say about Die Hard. We could talk about how it was comedian Bruce Willis’s first foray into action flicks, or Alan Rickman’s big screen debut. But dads don’t give a sh!t about that stuff.

No, dads just want to fantasize that they could be deathproof quip factory John McClane in their own mundane lives. So while you celebrate the fathers in your life, consider how John McClane would respond to these traditional “dad” moments…

Wedding Toasts

Dads always struggle to find the right words of welcome to extend to new family. John McClane, on the other hand, is the master of inclusivity.
Die Hard wedding

Using Public Restrooms

While nine out of ten dads would rather die than use a disgusting public bathroom, McClane isn’t bothered one bit. So long as he can fit a bloody foot in the sink, he’s G2G.
Die Hard restroom

Awkward Dancing

Because every dad needs a signature move.
Die Hard dance

Writing Thank You Notes

It can be hard for dads to express gratitude. Not only can McClane articulate his thanks, he makes it feel personal.
Die Hard thank you

Valentine’s Day

How would John McClane say “I heart you” in a way that ain’t cliche? The image speaks for itself.
Die Hard valentines

Shopping

The only thing most dads hate more than shopping is fielding eleventh-hour phone calls with additional items for the list. But does McClane throw a typical man-tantrum? Nope. He finds the words to express his feelings like a goddam adult.
Die Hard thank you

Last Minute Errands

John McClane knows when a fight isn’t worth fighting.
Die Hard errands

Sneaking Out Of The Office Early

What is this, high school? Make a real exit, dads.
Die Hard office

Think you or your dad could stand to be more like Bruce? Role model fodder abounds in the Die Hard marathon all Father’s Day long on IFC.

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Founding Farters

Know Your Nerd History

Revenge of the Nerds is on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIFs via Giphy

That we live in the heyday of nerds is no hot secret. Scientists are celebrities, musicians are robots and late night hosts can recite every word of the Silmarillion. It’s too easy to think that it’s always been this way. But the truth is we owe much to our nerd forebearers who toiled through the jock-filled ’80s so that we might take over the world.

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Our humble beginnings are perhaps best captured in iconic ’80s romp Revenge of the Nerds. Like the founding fathers of our Country, the titular nerds rose above their circumstances to culturally pave the way for every Colbert and deGrasse Tyson that we know and love today.

To make sure you’re in the know about our very important cultural roots, here’s a quick download of the vengeful nerds without whom our shameful stereotypes might never have evolved.

Lewis Skolnick

The George Washington of nerds whose unflappable optimism – even in the face of humiliating self-awareness – basically gave birth to the Geek Pride movement.

Gilbert Lowe

OK, this guy is wet blanket, but an important wet blanket. Think Aaron Burr to Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Hamilton. His glass-mostly-empty attitude is a galvanizing force for Lewis. Who knows if Lewis could have kept up his optimism without Lowe’s Debbie-Downer outlook?

Arnold Poindexter

A music nerd who, after a soft start (inside joke, you’ll get it later), came out of his shell and let his passion lead instead of his anxiety. If you played an instrument (specifically, electric violin), and you were a nerd, this was your patron saint.

Booger

A sex-loving, blunt-smoking, nose-picking guitar hero. If you don’t think he sounds like a classic nerd, you’re absolutely right. And that’s the whole point. Along with Lamar, he simultaneously expanded the definition of nerd and gave pre-existing nerds a twisted sort of cred by association.

Lamar Latrell

Black, gay, and a crazy good breakdancer. In other words, a total groundbreaker. He proved to the world that nerds don’t have a single mold, but are simply outcasts waiting for their moment.

Ogre

Exceedingly stupid, this dumbass was monumental because he (in a sequel) leaves the jocks to become a nerd. Totally unheard of back then. Now all jocks are basically nerds.

Well, there they are. Never forget that we stand on their shoulders.

Revenge of the Nerds is on IFC all month long.

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