DID YOU READ

A baseball movie All-Star team

A baseball movie All-Star team (photo)

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Tonight is baseball’s annual All-Star game and to honor the occasion The Wall Street Journal put together their own all-star team, a sort of fantasy fantasy baseball roster: the greatest fictional ball players in movie history.

You should go over and check out WSJ.com for the whole roster but I’ll say this for the piece’s author, the aptly named Jared Diamond: he put together a team with very few holes. There are obvious movie ball players that jump to mind: of course Ricky “Wild Thing” Vaughn (Charlie Sheen) will be the movie All-Stars’ closer; of course Roy Hobbs (Robert Redford) from “The Natural” will be in left field. But Diamond didn’t forget the obscure choices either. He’s got the legendary Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez (Mike Vitar) from “The Sandlot,” and he even put the titular monkey from Matt LeBlanc’s “Ed” as a utility player on the bench. Smart move: “Ed” may be one of the most hideous family movies ever committed to celluloid, but goddamn that monkey had a rocket for an arm.

Billy Chapel (Kevin Costner) from “For Love of the Game,” Jack Elliot (Tom Selleck) from “Mr. Baseball,” Henry Rowengartner (Thomas Ian Nicholas) from “Rookie of the Year,” they’re all here. I love baseball and I love baseball movies; a few years ago, I wrote a whole week’s worth of articles about real-life baseball All-Stars playing themselves onscreen. I could only think of one player who got snubbed: Bernie Mac’s Stan Ross from “Mr. 3000.” Granted, the Ross of the film is all washed up. But assuming we can get the Stan Ross of his prime — and since you’d only want a guy like Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez if you could have the version that became a sensation for the L.A. Dodgers after the events in the film — he’s an easy choice. The man had (almost) 3,000 hits and he’s a guaranteed hall of famer. I’d want him on the bench as my backup first baseman over Kelly Leak (Jackie Earle Haley) from “The Bad News Bears” who is a great player but is, all things considered, a little kid.

The real question is: are the movie All-Stars good enough to take on the real All-Stars? I’m not so sure. We’ve got a few children on here and, yeah, at least one monkey. Then again, it seems like half of the Major League All-Stars selected this year are too injured to play. Maybe they’ve got a shot. And if Enrico Pallazzo (a.k.a. Leslie Nielsen’s Frank Drebin from “The Naked Gun”) is umpiring the game as per Diamond’s excellent suggestion, anything is possible.

Who’s missing from the Movie All-Star Team? Tell us in the comments below or on Facebook and Twitter!

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Millennial Wisdom

Charles Speaks For Us All

Get to know Charles, the social media whiz of Brockmire.

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He may be an unlikely radio producer Brockmire, but Charles is #1 when it comes to delivering quips that tie a nice little bow on the absurdity of any given situation.

Charles also perfectly captures the jaded outlook of Millennials. Or at least Millennials as mythologized by marketers and news idiots. You know who you are.

Played superbly by Tyrel Jackson Williams, Charles’s quippy nuggets target just about any subject matter, from entry-level jobs in social media (“I plan on getting some experience here, then moving to New York to finally start my life.”) to the ramifications of fictional celebrity hookups (“Drake and Taylor Swift are dating! Albums y’all!”). But where he really nails the whole Millennial POV thing is when he comments on America’s second favorite past-time after type II diabetes: baseball.

Here are a few pearls.

On Baseball’s Lasting Cultural Relevance

“Baseball’s one of those old-timey things you don’t need anymore. Like cursive. Or email.”

On The Dramatic Value Of Double-Headers

“The only thing dumber than playing two boring-ass baseball games in one day is putting a two-hour delay between the boring-ass games.”

On Sartorial Tradition

“Is dressing badly just a thing for baseball, because that would explain his jacket.”

On Baseball, In A Nutshell

“Baseball is a f-cked up sport, and I want you to know it.”


Learn more about Charles in the behind-the-scenes video below.

And if you were born before the late ’80s and want to know what the kids think about Baseball, watch Brockmire Wednesdays at 10P on IFC.

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Crown Jules

Amanda Peet FTW on Brockmire

Amanda Peet brings it on Brockmire Wednesday at 10P on IFC.

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GIFS via Giphy

On Brockmire, Jules is the unexpected yin to Jim Brockmire’s yang. Which is saying a lot, because Brockmire’s yang is way out there. Played by Amanda Peet, Jules is hard-drinking, truth-spewing, baseball-loving…everything Brockmire is, and perhaps what he never expected to encounter in another human.

“We’re the same level of functional alcoholic.”


But Jules takes that commonality and transforms it into something special: a new beginning. A new beginning for failing minor league baseball team “The Frackers”, who suddenly about-face into a winning streak; and a new beginning for Brockmire, whose life gets a jumpstart when Jules lures him back to baseball. As for herself, her unexpected connection with Brockmire gives her own life a surprising and much needed goose.

“You’re a Goddamn Disaster and you’re starting To look good to me.”

This palpable dynamic adds depth and complexity to the narrative and pushes the series far beyond expected comedy. See for yourself in this behind-the-scenes video (and brace yourself for a unforgettable description of Brockmire’s genitals)…

Want more about Amanda Peet? She’s all over the place, and has even penned a recent self-reflective piece in the New York Times.

And of course you can watch the Jim-Jules relationship hysterically unfold in new episodes of Brockmire, every Wednesday at 10PM on IFC.

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Draught Pick

Sam Adams “Keeps It Brockmire”

All New Brockmire airs Wednesdays at 10P on IFC.

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From baseball to beer, Jim Brockmire calls ’em like he sees ’em.

via GIPHY

It’s no wonder at all, then, that Sam Adams would reach out to Brockmire to be their shockingly-honest (and inevitably short-term) new spokesperson. Unscripted and unrestrained, he’ll talk straight about Sam—and we’ll take his word. Check out this new testimonial for proof:

See more Brockmire Wednesdays at 10P on IFC, presented by Samuel Adams. Good f***** beer.

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