DID YOU READ

Neil Patrick Harris At Tonys: Go See A Motherf*@#ing Broadway Show

Neil Patrick Harris At Tonys: Go See A Motherf*@#ing Broadway Show (photo)

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Whether or not you consider yourself a fan of the theater, there is one moment from last night’s 2011 Tony Award that everyone should see: Neil Patrick Harris rapping a wrap up of the awards. Watch below:

While fans of “Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog” know that Harris can sing, how exactly did the “How I Met Your Mother” star manage to perform a fully-formed rap complete with references to the evening’s winners, Frances McDormand’s acceptance speech and Brooke Shields’ flub? Did they wrestle the briefcase of tabulated results off the arm of some suit from an accountant’s office? Nope. The show’s producers tapped into the vast resources of the Great White Way and brought in some experts. Writer-star Lin-Manuel Miranda and director Tommy Kail, both of “In the Heights” fame, holed up in the basement of the Beacon Theater and wrote the rap really really quickly while the show played on. By 11 p.m., Harris had managed to memorize the rap (while simultaneously hosting the nationally-televised awards show), tapped into his inner flow, and performed the piece perfectly. While Harris claims to be a rap newbie, Eminem could scarcely have done a better job.

The full transcript follows via WSJ.com:

If anyone asks you what happened at the Tonys you can say this: We straightened things out in the opening number; Ellen Barkin and John Benjamin Hickey took home awards for their hilarious performances in The Normal Heart. Daniel Radcliffe kicked some butt and we were so elated Even Vodemort was sad he wasn’t nominated Norbert Leo Butz sang and danced and tried to catch you, comin’ atchu Chasing Trey and Casey cause they nabbed a Tony statue Commencing in the Chattanooga station from the grand imagination of the Kander-Ebb collaboration It takes a lot for a recipient to humble me But everybody cried for gorgeous Nikki James, the bumblebee Andrew Rannells sang “I Believe” and he landed it So well now he’s Mitt Romney’s VP candidate All across the country from the North and to the South Are saying “Brooke’s a hottie with a crazy potty mouth” John Larroquette brought an elegant mood to the room I’m still imagining him at home in his Fruit of the Looms Spider-man and Mary-Jane gave us perspective here They sang a ballad; we didn’t need our protective gear Patina Miller’s nuns sang “Raise Your Voice” with cheer And Memphis is relentless, they’re performing every year The Normal Heart won, Larry Kramer made us weep And War Horse dazzled us with a theatrical sweep Sutton Foster never lost her knack for talking smack and tapping a full-on assault attack, I’m awesome, Hugh Jackman take that Go ahead and roll the credits if you need to, I’m out of control, I’m on a roll, this is my Tonys speed through Anything Goes took the best revival prize in stride We didn’t see it, we were singing “Side by Side by Side” McDormand loves her job, Sutton Foster won again Paul Schaffer sang and suddenly it started raining men Mark Rylance runs at fences, he’s won the Tony twice That guy can do it all, his follow-up is Fanny Bryce Norbert Butz and Mormon swept the floor, won even more awards than War Horse Par for the course, someone get a car for the horse And in the final analysis what survives tonight? Theater, because it’s what we live We’re changing some lives tonight And theater thrives because we live to give it, so to speak This isn’t reality TV, this is eight shows a week Every chorus member that you saw tonight tappin’ Had to make miracles happen For a chance to see you clappin’ And applauding in the audience What’s next? Who knows Anything goes Now go see a mother [mumbled]-ing Broadway show

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Hard Out

Comedy From The Closet

Janice and Jeffrey Available Now On IFC's Comedy Crib

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She’s been referred to as “the love child of Amy Sedaris and Tracy Ullman,” and he’s a self-described “Italian who knows how to cook a great spaghetti alla carbonara.” They’re Mollie Merkel and Matteo Lane, prolific indie comedians who blended their robust creative juices to bring us the new Comedy Crib series Janice and Jeffrey. Mollie and Matteo took time to answer our probing questions about their series and themselves. Here’s a taste.

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IFC: How would you describe Janice and Jeffrey to a fancy network executive you met in an elevator?

Mollie & Matteo: Janice and Jeffrey is about a married couple experiencing intimacy issues but who don’t have a clue it’s because they are gay. Their oblivion makes them even more endearing.  Their total lack of awareness provides for a buffet of comedy.

IFC: What’s your origin story? How did you two people meet and how long have you been working together?

Mollie: We met at a dive bar in Wrigley Field Chicago. It was a show called Entertaining Julie… It was a cool variety scene with lots of talented people. I was doing Janice one night and Matteo was doing an impression of Liza Minnelli. We sort of just fell in love with each other’s… ACT! Matteo made the first move and told me how much he loved Janice and I drove home feeling like I just met someone really special.

IFC: How would Janice describe Jeffrey?

Mollie: “He can paint, cook homemade Bolognese, and sing Opera. Not to mention he has a great body. He makes me feel empowered and free. He doesn’t suffocate me with attention so our love has room to breath.”

IFC: How would Jeffrey describe Janice?

Matteo: “Like a Ford. Built to last.”

IFC: Why do you think the world is ready for this series?

Mollie & Matteo: Our current political world is mirroring and reflecting this belief that homosexuality is wrong. So what better time for satire. Everyone is so pro gay and equal rights, which is of course what we want, too. But no one is looking at middle America and people actually in the closet. No one is saying, hey this is really painful and tragic, and sitting with that. Having compassion but providing the desperate relief of laughter…This seemed like the healthiest, best way to “fight” the gay rights “fight”.

IFC: Hummus is hilarious. Why is it so funny?

Mollie: It just seems like something people take really seriously, which is funny to me. I started to see it in a lot of lesbians’ refrigerators at a time. It’s like observing a lesbian in a comfortable shoe. It’s a language we speak. Pass the Hummus. Turn on the Indigo Girls would ya?

See the whole season of Janice and Jeffrey right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

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Die Hard Dads

Inspiration For Die Hard Dads

Die Hard is on IFC all Father's Day Long

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIPHY

Yippee ki-yay, everybody! It’s time to celebrate the those most literal of mother-effers: dads!

And just in case the title of this post left anything to the imagination, IFC is giving dads balls-to-the-wall ’80s treatment with a glorious marathon of action trailblazer Die Hard.

There are so many things we could say about Die Hard. We could talk about how it was comedian Bruce Willis’s first foray into action flicks, or Alan Rickman’s big screen debut. But dads don’t give a sh!t about that stuff.

No, dads just want to fantasize that they could be deathproof quip factory John McClane in their own mundane lives. So while you celebrate the fathers in your life, consider how John McClane would respond to these traditional “dad” moments…

Wedding Toasts

Dads always struggle to find the right words of welcome to extend to new family. John McClane, on the other hand, is the master of inclusivity.
Die Hard wedding

Using Public Restrooms

While nine out of ten dads would rather die than use a disgusting public bathroom, McClane isn’t bothered one bit. So long as he can fit a bloody foot in the sink, he’s G2G.
Die Hard restroom

Awkward Dancing

Because every dad needs a signature move.
Die Hard dance

Writing Thank You Notes

It can be hard for dads to express gratitude. Not only can McClane articulate his thanks, he makes it feel personal.
Die Hard thank you

Valentine’s Day

How would John McClane say “I heart you” in a way that ain’t cliche? The image speaks for itself.
Die Hard valentines

Shopping

The only thing most dads hate more than shopping is fielding eleventh-hour phone calls with additional items for the list. But does McClane throw a typical man-tantrum? Nope. He finds the words to express his feelings like a goddam adult.
Die Hard thank you

Last Minute Errands

John McClane knows when a fight isn’t worth fighting.
Die Hard errands

Sneaking Out Of The Office Early

What is this, high school? Make a real exit, dads.
Die Hard office

Think you or your dad could stand to be more like Bruce? Role model fodder abounds in the Die Hard marathon all Father’s Day long on IFC.

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Founding Farters

Know Your Nerd History

Revenge of the Nerds is on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIFs via Giphy

That we live in the heyday of nerds is no hot secret. Scientists are celebrities, musicians are robots and late night hosts can recite every word of the Silmarillion. It’s too easy to think that it’s always been this way. But the truth is we owe much to our nerd forebearers who toiled through the jock-filled ’80s so that we might take over the world.

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Our humble beginnings are perhaps best captured in iconic ’80s romp Revenge of the Nerds. Like the founding fathers of our Country, the titular nerds rose above their circumstances to culturally pave the way for every Colbert and deGrasse Tyson that we know and love today.

To make sure you’re in the know about our very important cultural roots, here’s a quick download of the vengeful nerds without whom our shameful stereotypes might never have evolved.

Lewis Skolnick

The George Washington of nerds whose unflappable optimism – even in the face of humiliating self-awareness – basically gave birth to the Geek Pride movement.

Gilbert Lowe

OK, this guy is wet blanket, but an important wet blanket. Think Aaron Burr to Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Hamilton. His glass-mostly-empty attitude is a galvanizing force for Lewis. Who knows if Lewis could have kept up his optimism without Lowe’s Debbie-Downer outlook?

Arnold Poindexter

A music nerd who, after a soft start (inside joke, you’ll get it later), came out of his shell and let his passion lead instead of his anxiety. If you played an instrument (specifically, electric violin), and you were a nerd, this was your patron saint.

Booger

A sex-loving, blunt-smoking, nose-picking guitar hero. If you don’t think he sounds like a classic nerd, you’re absolutely right. And that’s the whole point. Along with Lamar, he simultaneously expanded the definition of nerd and gave pre-existing nerds a twisted sort of cred by association.

Lamar Latrell

Black, gay, and a crazy good breakdancer. In other words, a total groundbreaker. He proved to the world that nerds don’t have a single mold, but are simply outcasts waiting for their moment.

Ogre

Exceedingly stupid, this dumbass was monumental because he (in a sequel) leaves the jocks to become a nerd. Totally unheard of back then. Now all jocks are basically nerds.

Well, there they are. Never forget that we stand on their shoulders.

Revenge of the Nerds is on IFC all month long.

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