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Five more movie nightclubs we’d like to visit

Five more movie nightclubs we’d like to visit (photo)

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Last week, we told you about Silencio, David Lynch‘s new nightclub in Paris, based on a spot first featured in his 2001 film “Mulholland Drive.” Our excitement over this new venue got us thinking: what other fictional nightclubs deserve to be converted to real working establishments? Fertile ground for a list, says I.

So here we go. The list is entirely subjective and based on only one rule: no real places. Since this all started with a director taking a fantasy and making it a reality, this piece had to work the same way. Picking places that really existed would be cheating. Hence you won’t find 2001 Odyssey Disco from “Saturday Night Fever” below; it was an actual Brooklyn dance club (at 802 64th Street) spruced up with a little movie magic (the production brought in the signature light-up floor).

In one case, someone already has granted our wish and made one of these places. But it’s in Morocco, so for the time being, it’s going to remain a pipe dream. But that’s fine. If reality was exotic and exciting as the worlds depicted in these movies, we wouldn’t need to go to the movies in the first place. And now raise your glasses, for a toast to these great movie nightclubs.


Club Obi Wan
From “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom” (1984)
Directed by Steven Spielberg

I love that this is a movie nightclub that operates entirely on movie logic. Kate Capshaw’s Willie Scott is doing her show in 1935 Shanghai, and then she steps inside that dragon’s mouth and suddenly we’re transported into “Gold Diggers of Indiana Jones.” Dozens of tap dancers on an enormous set of stairs, all performing inside this tiny dragon head, in a space that none of the audience in the nightclub can see. Truly, this is a place where anything goes. Plus, show up on the right night at Club Obi Wan (yes, we all get the reference George Lucas, thank you) and you might get to sit at the table over from Indy himself; maybe you could invite him over and then give him something very exciting on the Lazy Susan.


The Silver Sandal
From “Swing Time” (1936)
Directed by George Stevens

Here’s another hotspot from the 1930s, which was clearly the Golden Age of Movie Nightclubs. With America suffocating under the Great Depression, movies lured audiences with tales of decadent escapism, replete with impossibly opulent nightclubs. These places look so expensive you wonder if the star could even afford to drink there. There are a lot of super-cool 1930s movie nightclubs — “Hot Voodoo,” anyone? — but if I’ve got to pick just one, I give the nod to The Silver Sandal from Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers’ “Swing Time.” It’s just so grand with that cavernous ballroom, enormous dance floor, swooping staircases, and iconic art deco design elements. Boozing it up in a tuxedo while you take in an evening’s entertainment by Astaire and Rogers? There isn’t a single way that’s not awesome.


The Cell Block
From “Cocktail” (1988)
Directed by Roger Donaldson

See, this one could only exist in the movies too. The Cell Block, a jail-themed dance hall where people pay a massive cover to… stand around quietly and listen to the bartender recite poetry? Hooooookay Hollywood screenwriters, whatever you say. Of course, the guy serving the verses and vodka is none other than Tom Cruise, and let’s face it: if you heard Cruise was tending bar in town, you’d show up. Plus, Cruise and Bryan Brown’s mixology floor show, complete with bottle tossing, hip shaking, terrible-looking Turquoise Blue drinks, is super cool. (admit it: you’ve tried to copy their moves at least once. C’mon, just fess up. We all have.) Of course it takes Cruise and Brown about ten minutes to make one drink, and they seem to be the only two bartenders serving a club with hundreds of customers. Wait, why do I want to go to this place again?


Rick’s Cafe Americain
From “Casablanca” (1942)
Directed by Michael Curtiz

Obvious? Yes. But how can I leave off the most famous gin joint in all the world?
Granted, having to share the space at the bar with Nazi officers is a major downside. But Rick’s Cafe Americain is the site for one of romantic movies ever made, and everyone, man or woman, who’s ever seen the film has fantasized about going there in 1942 and falling in love at the roulette wheel while Dooley Wilson’s Sam sings “As Time Goes By.” How many “beautiful friendships” have blossomed metaphorically at Rick’s, over date nights at the local repertory house? More than I can imagine; it is one of the signature locations in all of the movies. And, hey, if you do happen to find yourself in Morocco, be sure to visit Rick’s Cafe Casablanca, built in 2004 as a monument to Humphrey Bogart’s joint. It’s got a bar, a full menu, and, of course, a piano player. He takes requests.


Hot Traxx
From “Boogie Nights” (1997)
Directed by Paul Thomas Anderson

It’s no 2001 Odyssey Disco, but it’ll do. Plus it has porn stars. Hot Traxx is the Odyssey-esque club that serves as the setting for the amazing opening to Paul Thomas Anderson’s “Boogie Nights.” Maybe it’s just the vibe bleeding off the endless long take that Anderson uses to capture the scene, but the place looks so freaking cool; the lighted floor, the stage, the Christmas lights hung throughout. Clearly Maurice (Luis Guzmán) has excellent taste, which is why folks like Jack Horner (Burt Reynolds) and Amber Waves (Julianne Moore) like to hang out there. And since Rollergirl (Heather Graham) can wear her skates in there, you know their dress code policy is lax. Good atmosphere, good tunes, and you could do the hustle with John C. Reilly’s Reed Rothchild while Mark Wahlberg buses your dirty dishes. Sign me up.

What movie nightclub would you like to visit? Tell us in the comments below or on Twitter and Facebook!

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Hard Out

Comedy From The Closet

Janice and Jeffrey Available Now On IFC's Comedy Crib

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She’s been referred to as “the love child of Amy Sedaris and Tracy Ullman,” and he’s a self-described “Italian who knows how to cook a great spaghetti alla carbonara.” They’re Mollie Merkel and Matteo Lane, prolific indie comedians who blended their robust creative juices to bring us the new Comedy Crib series Janice and Jeffrey. Mollie and Matteo took time to answer our probing questions about their series and themselves. Here’s a taste.

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IFC: How would you describe Janice and Jeffrey to a fancy network executive you met in an elevator?

Mollie & Matteo: Janice and Jeffrey is about a married couple experiencing intimacy issues but who don’t have a clue it’s because they are gay. Their oblivion makes them even more endearing.  Their total lack of awareness provides for a buffet of comedy.

IFC: What’s your origin story? How did you two people meet and how long have you been working together?

Mollie: We met at a dive bar in Wrigley Field Chicago. It was a show called Entertaining Julie… It was a cool variety scene with lots of talented people. I was doing Janice one night and Matteo was doing an impression of Liza Minnelli. We sort of just fell in love with each other’s… ACT! Matteo made the first move and told me how much he loved Janice and I drove home feeling like I just met someone really special.

IFC: How would Janice describe Jeffrey?

Mollie: “He can paint, cook homemade Bolognese, and sing Opera. Not to mention he has a great body. He makes me feel empowered and free. He doesn’t suffocate me with attention so our love has room to breath.”

IFC: How would Jeffrey describe Janice?

Matteo: “Like a Ford. Built to last.”

IFC: Why do you think the world is ready for this series?

Mollie & Matteo: Our current political world is mirroring and reflecting this belief that homosexuality is wrong. So what better time for satire. Everyone is so pro gay and equal rights, which is of course what we want, too. But no one is looking at middle America and people actually in the closet. No one is saying, hey this is really painful and tragic, and sitting with that. Having compassion but providing the desperate relief of laughter…This seemed like the healthiest, best way to “fight” the gay rights “fight”.

IFC: Hummus is hilarious. Why is it so funny?

Mollie: It just seems like something people take really seriously, which is funny to me. I started to see it in a lot of lesbians’ refrigerators at a time. It’s like observing a lesbian in a comfortable shoe. It’s a language we speak. Pass the Hummus. Turn on the Indigo Girls would ya?

See the whole season of Janice and Jeffrey right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

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Die Hard Dads

Inspiration For Die Hard Dads

Die Hard is on IFC all Father's Day Long

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIPHY

Yippee ki-yay, everybody! It’s time to celebrate the those most literal of mother-effers: dads!

And just in case the title of this post left anything to the imagination, IFC is giving dads balls-to-the-wall ’80s treatment with a glorious marathon of action trailblazer Die Hard.

There are so many things we could say about Die Hard. We could talk about how it was comedian Bruce Willis’s first foray into action flicks, or Alan Rickman’s big screen debut. But dads don’t give a sh!t about that stuff.

No, dads just want to fantasize that they could be deathproof quip factory John McClane in their own mundane lives. So while you celebrate the fathers in your life, consider how John McClane would respond to these traditional “dad” moments…

Wedding Toasts

Dads always struggle to find the right words of welcome to extend to new family. John McClane, on the other hand, is the master of inclusivity.
Die Hard wedding

Using Public Restrooms

While nine out of ten dads would rather die than use a disgusting public bathroom, McClane isn’t bothered one bit. So long as he can fit a bloody foot in the sink, he’s G2G.
Die Hard restroom

Awkward Dancing

Because every dad needs a signature move.
Die Hard dance

Writing Thank You Notes

It can be hard for dads to express gratitude. Not only can McClane articulate his thanks, he makes it feel personal.
Die Hard thank you

Valentine’s Day

How would John McClane say “I heart you” in a way that ain’t cliche? The image speaks for itself.
Die Hard valentines

Shopping

The only thing most dads hate more than shopping is fielding eleventh-hour phone calls with additional items for the list. But does McClane throw a typical man-tantrum? Nope. He finds the words to express his feelings like a goddam adult.
Die Hard thank you

Last Minute Errands

John McClane knows when a fight isn’t worth fighting.
Die Hard errands

Sneaking Out Of The Office Early

What is this, high school? Make a real exit, dads.
Die Hard office

Think you or your dad could stand to be more like Bruce? Role model fodder abounds in the Die Hard marathon all Father’s Day long on IFC.

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Founding Farters

Know Your Nerd History

Revenge of the Nerds is on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIFs via Giphy

That we live in the heyday of nerds is no hot secret. Scientists are celebrities, musicians are robots and late night hosts can recite every word of the Silmarillion. It’s too easy to think that it’s always been this way. But the truth is we owe much to our nerd forebearers who toiled through the jock-filled ’80s so that we might take over the world.

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Our humble beginnings are perhaps best captured in iconic ’80s romp Revenge of the Nerds. Like the founding fathers of our Country, the titular nerds rose above their circumstances to culturally pave the way for every Colbert and deGrasse Tyson that we know and love today.

To make sure you’re in the know about our very important cultural roots, here’s a quick download of the vengeful nerds without whom our shameful stereotypes might never have evolved.

Lewis Skolnick

The George Washington of nerds whose unflappable optimism – even in the face of humiliating self-awareness – basically gave birth to the Geek Pride movement.

Gilbert Lowe

OK, this guy is wet blanket, but an important wet blanket. Think Aaron Burr to Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Hamilton. His glass-mostly-empty attitude is a galvanizing force for Lewis. Who knows if Lewis could have kept up his optimism without Lowe’s Debbie-Downer outlook?

Arnold Poindexter

A music nerd who, after a soft start (inside joke, you’ll get it later), came out of his shell and let his passion lead instead of his anxiety. If you played an instrument (specifically, electric violin), and you were a nerd, this was your patron saint.

Booger

A sex-loving, blunt-smoking, nose-picking guitar hero. If you don’t think he sounds like a classic nerd, you’re absolutely right. And that’s the whole point. Along with Lamar, he simultaneously expanded the definition of nerd and gave pre-existing nerds a twisted sort of cred by association.

Lamar Latrell

Black, gay, and a crazy good breakdancer. In other words, a total groundbreaker. He proved to the world that nerds don’t have a single mold, but are simply outcasts waiting for their moment.

Ogre

Exceedingly stupid, this dumbass was monumental because he (in a sequel) leaves the jocks to become a nerd. Totally unheard of back then. Now all jocks are basically nerds.

Well, there they are. Never forget that we stand on their shoulders.

Revenge of the Nerds is on IFC all month long.

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