DID YOU READ

Broke-Ass Stuart’s top 5 moments that you won’t see in the series

Broke-Ass Stuart’s top 5 moments that you won’t see in the series (photo)

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Making Young, Broke & Beautiful was such a fantastic experience. Not only did I get to visit six great American cities, I also got to meet interesting and odd people wherever I went. And those are the kinds of folks I tend to gravitate towards anyways, no matter if I have a camera crew following me or not. While each episode of YBB is packed to the brim with wonderful scenes, we were limited to making a half-hour program. Unfortunately this means some truly incredible moments were left out. What follows is five of my favorite moments that didn’t make the final cut:

1. Irma Thomas and George Porter Jr.:
Getting to hang out with two people whose music I dig so much was amazing. I was even a little nervous at first, which is weird because I never get nervous. We ended up talking for nearly and hour, but only a couple minutes made it into the episode. The part of the conversation that that stuck with me most though was when we were talking about Hurricane Katrina. George told me that the night after the hurricane, while half the city was underwater, the band scheduled to play the Maple Leaf Bar came in, set up a generator and played their show anyways. George and Irma explained that that was pretty much the heart of what it means to be from New Orleans; that no matter what happens, you gotta give people the music because it will help heal their souls.

2. Larry D’Mongo:
Larry is one of the most interesting people I’ve ever met. He’s a black dude from the streets of Detroit who used to run drugs on a serious level. Now though, he’s an honest businessman who runs a bad ass bar and completely believes in the rebirth of Detroit. He’s both street smart and has an incredibly intelligent. At one point, once the cameras were (unfortunately) done rolling, me, Larry and a few others were having a drink at the bar. Somebody brought up China and Larry said, “China? Man I spent two years in jail in China in the 70’s”.

So I responded, “Larry, what the hell did you do to end up in jail in China?”
Larry: “Man, it was a case of mistaken identity”
Me: “Mistaken identity? Come on Larry, how many brothers were walking around China in the 70’s?”
Larry: “At least two!”

That’s currently one of my favorite stories to tell. It’s brilliant and hilarious.

3. Al Kapone:
Al Kapone is a rapper from South Memphis who’s worked with the Three Six Mafia and whose music was prominently featured on the “Hustle and Flow” soundtrack. There’s a scene in the Memphis episode where Al and I are riding around in the back of a ’55 Caddy and getting a tour of Memphis by Tad Piercen. What didn’t make the cut though was that right when Al got in the car, he sat down, said, “Hold on. I gotta get more comfortable,” and then pulled his gun out from his waist band and set it on the floor of the car. I was like, “Well, I guess that’s happening”.

The weirdest part for me though, was not that Al was strapped, I used to run with some real crazy motherfuckers back in the day. The weirdest part was that you can legally carry a concealed weapon in Tennessee, as long as you have a permit, which Al did. This is evidenced by the fact that every bar I went to had a sign outside that said, “No Firearms Allowed Inside.” Blew my mind!

4. T-Model Ford:
In the Memphis episode we take a little road trip to Clarksdale, Mississippi, the place the blues was born. While there I get to hang out with T-Model Ford, a 90+ year-old blues legend. T-Model was playing at Red’s, a real deal juke joint where the music was great, the bar was divey, and the patrons were strange. Especially Tyrone.

Tyrone was weird and wild-eyed, he’d obviously been drinking all day, and while he was really excited about getting on camera, he kept saying, “I better not see myself on TMZ!” He was a big cat too, probably 6’3, and was the kind of drunk where we weren’t sure if he was gonna turn violent or keep high-fiving and hugging us. He ended up staying in high-five mode, but he was drunk enough that as we were leaving, I heard him call T-Model, T-Mobile.

5. The Arabers:
Arabers are horse-drawn carts that sell mostly produce throughout some of the poorer neighborhoods in Baltimore. Or maybe the Araber is actually the person selling the goods. I’m not sure exactly, but it doesn’t really matter; they are an amazing part of the history of Baltimore and, as far as I know the horse drawn merchants left in the USA (that aren’t a shtick of course). I got to hang out with a particularly old Araber named Fat Back and his family, most of whom are also Arabers. He also demonstrated the famous call the Arabers are known for hollering from their carts. Unfortunately we had some technical problems or something like that and the footage never made it in the cut. Too bad. I really liked Fat Back.

Catch the premiere of Young, Broke & Beautiful tonight at 11/10c and watch every Friday.

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Hard Out

Comedy From The Closet

Janice and Jeffrey Available Now On IFC's Comedy Crib

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She’s been referred to as “the love child of Amy Sedaris and Tracy Ullman,” and he’s a self-described “Italian who knows how to cook a great spaghetti alla carbonara.” They’re Mollie Merkel and Matteo Lane, prolific indie comedians who blended their robust creative juices to bring us the new Comedy Crib series Janice and Jeffrey. Mollie and Matteo took time to answer our probing questions about their series and themselves. Here’s a taste.

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IFC: How would you describe Janice and Jeffrey to a fancy network executive you met in an elevator?

Mollie & Matteo: Janice and Jeffrey is about a married couple experiencing intimacy issues but who don’t have a clue it’s because they are gay. Their oblivion makes them even more endearing.  Their total lack of awareness provides for a buffet of comedy.

IFC: What’s your origin story? How did you two people meet and how long have you been working together?

Mollie: We met at a dive bar in Wrigley Field Chicago. It was a show called Entertaining Julie… It was a cool variety scene with lots of talented people. I was doing Janice one night and Matteo was doing an impression of Liza Minnelli. We sort of just fell in love with each other’s… ACT! Matteo made the first move and told me how much he loved Janice and I drove home feeling like I just met someone really special.

IFC: How would Janice describe Jeffrey?

Mollie: “He can paint, cook homemade Bolognese, and sing Opera. Not to mention he has a great body. He makes me feel empowered and free. He doesn’t suffocate me with attention so our love has room to breath.”

IFC: How would Jeffrey describe Janice?

Matteo: “Like a Ford. Built to last.”

IFC: Why do you think the world is ready for this series?

Mollie & Matteo: Our current political world is mirroring and reflecting this belief that homosexuality is wrong. So what better time for satire. Everyone is so pro gay and equal rights, which is of course what we want, too. But no one is looking at middle America and people actually in the closet. No one is saying, hey this is really painful and tragic, and sitting with that. Having compassion but providing the desperate relief of laughter…This seemed like the healthiest, best way to “fight” the gay rights “fight”.

IFC: Hummus is hilarious. Why is it so funny?

Mollie: It just seems like something people take really seriously, which is funny to me. I started to see it in a lot of lesbians’ refrigerators at a time. It’s like observing a lesbian in a comfortable shoe. It’s a language we speak. Pass the Hummus. Turn on the Indigo Girls would ya?

See the whole season of Janice and Jeffrey right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

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Die Hard Dads

Inspiration For Die Hard Dads

Die Hard is on IFC all Father's Day Long

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIPHY

Yippee ki-yay, everybody! It’s time to celebrate the those most literal of mother-effers: dads!

And just in case the title of this post left anything to the imagination, IFC is giving dads balls-to-the-wall ’80s treatment with a glorious marathon of action trailblazer Die Hard.

There are so many things we could say about Die Hard. We could talk about how it was comedian Bruce Willis’s first foray into action flicks, or Alan Rickman’s big screen debut. But dads don’t give a sh!t about that stuff.

No, dads just want to fantasize that they could be deathproof quip factory John McClane in their own mundane lives. So while you celebrate the fathers in your life, consider how John McClane would respond to these traditional “dad” moments…

Wedding Toasts

Dads always struggle to find the right words of welcome to extend to new family. John McClane, on the other hand, is the master of inclusivity.
Die Hard wedding

Using Public Restrooms

While nine out of ten dads would rather die than use a disgusting public bathroom, McClane isn’t bothered one bit. So long as he can fit a bloody foot in the sink, he’s G2G.
Die Hard restroom

Awkward Dancing

Because every dad needs a signature move.
Die Hard dance

Writing Thank You Notes

It can be hard for dads to express gratitude. Not only can McClane articulate his thanks, he makes it feel personal.
Die Hard thank you

Valentine’s Day

How would John McClane say “I heart you” in a way that ain’t cliche? The image speaks for itself.
Die Hard valentines

Shopping

The only thing most dads hate more than shopping is fielding eleventh-hour phone calls with additional items for the list. But does McClane throw a typical man-tantrum? Nope. He finds the words to express his feelings like a goddam adult.
Die Hard thank you

Last Minute Errands

John McClane knows when a fight isn’t worth fighting.
Die Hard errands

Sneaking Out Of The Office Early

What is this, high school? Make a real exit, dads.
Die Hard office

Think you or your dad could stand to be more like Bruce? Role model fodder abounds in the Die Hard marathon all Father’s Day long on IFC.

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Founding Farters

Know Your Nerd History

Revenge of the Nerds is on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIFs via Giphy

That we live in the heyday of nerds is no hot secret. Scientists are celebrities, musicians are robots and late night hosts can recite every word of the Silmarillion. It’s too easy to think that it’s always been this way. But the truth is we owe much to our nerd forebearers who toiled through the jock-filled ’80s so that we might take over the world.

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Our humble beginnings are perhaps best captured in iconic ’80s romp Revenge of the Nerds. Like the founding fathers of our Country, the titular nerds rose above their circumstances to culturally pave the way for every Colbert and deGrasse Tyson that we know and love today.

To make sure you’re in the know about our very important cultural roots, here’s a quick download of the vengeful nerds without whom our shameful stereotypes might never have evolved.

Lewis Skolnick

The George Washington of nerds whose unflappable optimism – even in the face of humiliating self-awareness – basically gave birth to the Geek Pride movement.

Gilbert Lowe

OK, this guy is wet blanket, but an important wet blanket. Think Aaron Burr to Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Hamilton. His glass-mostly-empty attitude is a galvanizing force for Lewis. Who knows if Lewis could have kept up his optimism without Lowe’s Debbie-Downer outlook?

Arnold Poindexter

A music nerd who, after a soft start (inside joke, you’ll get it later), came out of his shell and let his passion lead instead of his anxiety. If you played an instrument (specifically, electric violin), and you were a nerd, this was your patron saint.

Booger

A sex-loving, blunt-smoking, nose-picking guitar hero. If you don’t think he sounds like a classic nerd, you’re absolutely right. And that’s the whole point. Along with Lamar, he simultaneously expanded the definition of nerd and gave pre-existing nerds a twisted sort of cred by association.

Lamar Latrell

Black, gay, and a crazy good breakdancer. In other words, a total groundbreaker. He proved to the world that nerds don’t have a single mold, but are simply outcasts waiting for their moment.

Ogre

Exceedingly stupid, this dumbass was monumental because he (in a sequel) leaves the jocks to become a nerd. Totally unheard of back then. Now all jocks are basically nerds.

Well, there they are. Never forget that we stand on their shoulders.

Revenge of the Nerds is on IFC all month long.

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