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“Aliens: Colonial Marines” Bursts onto Consoles Next Spring

“Aliens: Colonial Marines” Bursts onto Consoles Next Spring  (photo)

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“Aliens: Colonial Marines” Bursts onto Consoles Next Spring

Entire video game franchises have tried to capture the mix of horror, action, dark comedy and commentary that James Cameron‘s “Aliens” delivered when it hit big screens 25 years ago. You can see strains of the component parts of “Aliens” in the classic “Doom” shooters, Bungie’s “Halo” games and EA’s “Dead Space” sci-fi horror franchise. There’ve been games with the iconic xenomorphs in them, most recently the mildly received “Aliens vs. Predator” published by Sega last year.

Undaunted, Sega’s putting out another “Alien” game in the spring of 2012, this time with dev studio Gearbox Software. The relevant bits from today’s press release:

“To Gearbox Software and its peers throughout the industry, ALIENS is
one of the most influential science fiction properties of all time,”
said Randy Pitchford, President of Gearbox Software. “Aliens:
Colonial Marines, designed as an interactive successor to the landmark
films from Twentieth Century Fox, is a dream project about which our
studio is deeply committed and passionate.”

“Aliens: Colonial Marines will be THE definitive ALIENS gaming
experience,” said Gary Knight, Senior Vice President of Marketing at
SEGA Europe and SEGA of America. “Gearbox Software are doing a
brilliant job translating the thrill and horror that ALIENS stands for
into an action-packed shooter experience with co-operative gameplay at
its core.”

Gary Rosenfeld, Senior Vice President of New Media for Fox Consumer
Products added, “It’s no easy task to take on one of the most
influential films of all-time, but SEGA and Gearbox are not going to
disappoint. This game will be a must-have for fans of the ALIENS
franchise and gamers around the globe.”

Aliens: Colonial Marines begins with an ostensibly abandoned ship, the
U.S.S. Sulaco, recovered in orbit around LV-426. Players lead a group
of highly trained United States Colonial Marines as they board the
deserted craft to uncover the fate of the crew. They will have to
fight to survive unspeakable horrors and their own anxieties as they
chase down the truth behind a galaxy-spanning deception that places
humanity at the mercy of the most murderous and deadly species in the
universe. Aliens: Colonial Marines features authentic environments,
such as the surface of LV-426 and Hadley’s Hope, weapons inspired by
the film series and is designed to provide an exhilarating and
engaging new chapter in the Aliens universe.

The question with this game isn’t whether Gearbox can deliver the goods as far as gameplay is concerned. Their pedigree includes the “Brothers in Arms” WWII FPS series, the addictive megahit “Borderlands” and the soon-to-release, legend-in-waiting “Duke Nukem Forever.” They know shooters and how to build different experiences inside shooters.

So, the question with “Colonial Marines” is really they’ll be able to capture the electric tingle of fear associated with any of the classic “Alien” installments. But, a video game’s git to make you feel empowered, too, so “A:CM” will need to ramp up your skills believeably to make it seem like you’re capable of defeating killings machines that have decimated whole squads of tough guys.

This project’s actually been brewing for a while and I saw it in an earlier stage a few years back at E3. Even then, the build of the game on display had progress. The snap of sudden darkness turned the human soldiers’ machismo and bravado into nervous chatter. Watching the slinky animations of the lethal xenomorphs creeped me out a few years back and the glimpse offered of one gets me all goose-bumped now. “Aliens: Colonial Marines” takes places directly after the second “Aliens” movie and the dialogue in this teaser seems to hint at strong ties to the events of that film. If nothing else, the game presents an opportunity to quote the film’s great dialogue liberally. There’s always Bill Paxton as Private Hudson, delivering the immortal “That’s it man, game over man, game over! What the fuck are we gonna do now? What are we gonna do?”

“Aliens: Colonial Marines” is scheduled to come out for consoles and PCs next spring. If you’re excited to get your chance to face off against face-huggers and xeno queens, let us know in the comments below or on Facebook or Twitter.

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Hard Out

Comedy From The Closet

Janice and Jeffrey Available Now On IFC's Comedy Crib

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She’s been referred to as “the love child of Amy Sedaris and Tracy Ullman,” and he’s a self-described “Italian who knows how to cook a great spaghetti alla carbonara.” They’re Mollie Merkel and Matteo Lane, prolific indie comedians who blended their robust creative juices to bring us the new Comedy Crib series Janice and Jeffrey. Mollie and Matteo took time to answer our probing questions about their series and themselves. Here’s a taste.

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IFC: How would you describe Janice and Jeffrey to a fancy network executive you met in an elevator?

Mollie & Matteo: Janice and Jeffrey is about a married couple experiencing intimacy issues but who don’t have a clue it’s because they are gay. Their oblivion makes them even more endearing.  Their total lack of awareness provides for a buffet of comedy.

IFC: What’s your origin story? How did you two people meet and how long have you been working together?

Mollie: We met at a dive bar in Wrigley Field Chicago. It was a show called Entertaining Julie… It was a cool variety scene with lots of talented people. I was doing Janice one night and Matteo was doing an impression of Liza Minnelli. We sort of just fell in love with each other’s… ACT! Matteo made the first move and told me how much he loved Janice and I drove home feeling like I just met someone really special.

IFC: How would Janice describe Jeffrey?

Mollie: “He can paint, cook homemade Bolognese, and sing Opera. Not to mention he has a great body. He makes me feel empowered and free. He doesn’t suffocate me with attention so our love has room to breath.”

IFC: How would Jeffrey describe Janice?

Matteo: “Like a Ford. Built to last.”

IFC: Why do you think the world is ready for this series?

Mollie & Matteo: Our current political world is mirroring and reflecting this belief that homosexuality is wrong. So what better time for satire. Everyone is so pro gay and equal rights, which is of course what we want, too. But no one is looking at middle America and people actually in the closet. No one is saying, hey this is really painful and tragic, and sitting with that. Having compassion but providing the desperate relief of laughter…This seemed like the healthiest, best way to “fight” the gay rights “fight”.

IFC: Hummus is hilarious. Why is it so funny?

Mollie: It just seems like something people take really seriously, which is funny to me. I started to see it in a lot of lesbians’ refrigerators at a time. It’s like observing a lesbian in a comfortable shoe. It’s a language we speak. Pass the Hummus. Turn on the Indigo Girls would ya?

See the whole season of Janice and Jeffrey right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

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Die Hard Dads

Inspiration For Die Hard Dads

Die Hard is on IFC all Father's Day Long

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIPHY

Yippee ki-yay, everybody! It’s time to celebrate the those most literal of mother-effers: dads!

And just in case the title of this post left anything to the imagination, IFC is giving dads balls-to-the-wall ’80s treatment with a glorious marathon of action trailblazer Die Hard.

There are so many things we could say about Die Hard. We could talk about how it was comedian Bruce Willis’s first foray into action flicks, or Alan Rickman’s big screen debut. But dads don’t give a sh!t about that stuff.

No, dads just want to fantasize that they could be deathproof quip factory John McClane in their own mundane lives. So while you celebrate the fathers in your life, consider how John McClane would respond to these traditional “dad” moments…

Wedding Toasts

Dads always struggle to find the right words of welcome to extend to new family. John McClane, on the other hand, is the master of inclusivity.
Die Hard wedding

Using Public Restrooms

While nine out of ten dads would rather die than use a disgusting public bathroom, McClane isn’t bothered one bit. So long as he can fit a bloody foot in the sink, he’s G2G.
Die Hard restroom

Awkward Dancing

Because every dad needs a signature move.
Die Hard dance

Writing Thank You Notes

It can be hard for dads to express gratitude. Not only can McClane articulate his thanks, he makes it feel personal.
Die Hard thank you

Valentine’s Day

How would John McClane say “I heart you” in a way that ain’t cliche? The image speaks for itself.
Die Hard valentines

Shopping

The only thing most dads hate more than shopping is fielding eleventh-hour phone calls with additional items for the list. But does McClane throw a typical man-tantrum? Nope. He finds the words to express his feelings like a goddam adult.
Die Hard thank you

Last Minute Errands

John McClane knows when a fight isn’t worth fighting.
Die Hard errands

Sneaking Out Of The Office Early

What is this, high school? Make a real exit, dads.
Die Hard office

Think you or your dad could stand to be more like Bruce? Role model fodder abounds in the Die Hard marathon all Father’s Day long on IFC.

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Founding Farters

Know Your Nerd History

Revenge of the Nerds is on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIFs via Giphy

That we live in the heyday of nerds is no hot secret. Scientists are celebrities, musicians are robots and late night hosts can recite every word of the Silmarillion. It’s too easy to think that it’s always been this way. But the truth is we owe much to our nerd forebearers who toiled through the jock-filled ’80s so that we might take over the world.

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Our humble beginnings are perhaps best captured in iconic ’80s romp Revenge of the Nerds. Like the founding fathers of our Country, the titular nerds rose above their circumstances to culturally pave the way for every Colbert and deGrasse Tyson that we know and love today.

To make sure you’re in the know about our very important cultural roots, here’s a quick download of the vengeful nerds without whom our shameful stereotypes might never have evolved.

Lewis Skolnick

The George Washington of nerds whose unflappable optimism – even in the face of humiliating self-awareness – basically gave birth to the Geek Pride movement.

Gilbert Lowe

OK, this guy is wet blanket, but an important wet blanket. Think Aaron Burr to Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Hamilton. His glass-mostly-empty attitude is a galvanizing force for Lewis. Who knows if Lewis could have kept up his optimism without Lowe’s Debbie-Downer outlook?

Arnold Poindexter

A music nerd who, after a soft start (inside joke, you’ll get it later), came out of his shell and let his passion lead instead of his anxiety. If you played an instrument (specifically, electric violin), and you were a nerd, this was your patron saint.

Booger

A sex-loving, blunt-smoking, nose-picking guitar hero. If you don’t think he sounds like a classic nerd, you’re absolutely right. And that’s the whole point. Along with Lamar, he simultaneously expanded the definition of nerd and gave pre-existing nerds a twisted sort of cred by association.

Lamar Latrell

Black, gay, and a crazy good breakdancer. In other words, a total groundbreaker. He proved to the world that nerds don’t have a single mold, but are simply outcasts waiting for their moment.

Ogre

Exceedingly stupid, this dumbass was monumental because he (in a sequel) leaves the jocks to become a nerd. Totally unheard of back then. Now all jocks are basically nerds.

Well, there they are. Never forget that we stand on their shoulders.

Revenge of the Nerds is on IFC all month long.

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