DID YOU READ

“True Legend,” Reviewed

“True Legend,” Reviewed (photo)

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There’s nothing like a good martial arts movie like “True Legend” to make you feel inadequate as both a writer and an athlete. It’s bad enough to have to watch these men perform remarkable acts with impossible grace while you’re still sore from the mile you ran on the treadmill two days ago (I swear I have a six pack, you guys. It’s just nestled safely beneath a sixteen ounce bag of marshmallows). But then how do you explain what makes it great? You might as well try explaining a sunset to a man who’s lived in a cave his whole life. I envy the dance critic, who can write from their knowledge of technique, form, history, and context. As a film critic writing about martial arts I’m basically limited to oblique measures like wow factor and awesomeness.

Let it be said, though, that “True Legend,” from director and martial arts choreographer supreme Yuen Woo Ping, has plenty of wow factor and loads of awesomeness. After a thirty year career full of enough highlights to guarantee cinematic immortality, Yuen could make a movie like this in his sleep, but he pretty clearly didn’t. Directing his own choreography for the first time in fifteen years, Yuen brings an adventurous spirit to “True Legend.” The fact that he’s not content to merely rest on his laurels and rehash a couple of greatest hits is refreshing. Even if some of the new tricks don’t work, enough do that you’re glad he’s taking the risks.

His story is, indeed, a true Chinese legend about the man who invented the drunken fist style of martial arts. I suppose if you know this man, Su Can, a.k.a. Beggar Su (Vincent Zhao) dand his boozy tale, you might consider “True Legend” something of a prequel, since the film is mostly about Su’s adventures before he became a drunken boxer in 1860s China. At that time, Su was just another kung fu master with the physical gifts of a demigod. Happily married with a lovely wife (Zhou Xun) and son (Li Zo), his life is shattered by the return of his jealous stepbrother Yuan (Andy On), who has never forgiven his adopted father for killing his biological father (understandable, I suppose).

Now armed with the Five Venom Fist, a mystical punch that operates along the same principles as Bart Simpson’s Touch of Death, Yuan lashes out at Su and his family in an impressively varied series of action sequences. The big blowout of this portion of the film is a battle between Su and Yuan on a slippery deck above a waterfall. That’s where Yuan reveals his other secret weapon: body armor sewn right onto his skin. Yuan’s basically the most asskickingest emo rocker ever: his stepfather killed his real dad so he learned how to destroy people with a touch and sewed metal to his skin so no one could ever hurt him again. Oh, and he’s super pale, too. If he could have worked a reference to Weezer’s “Pinkerton” into his repertoire, he could have sold millions of albums ten years ago.

After Yuan throws Su across the sea and takes possession of his son, the physically and emotionally broken man must repair his body and rediscover his confidence. Along the way he meets cameoing superstars like Michelle Yeoh and Jay Chou, consumes gallons of rice wine, and, thankfully, gets himself into plenty more fights. “True Legend”‘s action setpieces find Yuen bringing new techniques like CGI and speed ramping into his tried-and-true formula of wire fu and beautiful, intricate choreography. Some of the new stuff works. Some, like the computer rendered landscapes during Su’s fights with Chou’s God of Wushu that look like they were rendered on a Sega Saturn, don’t. While I give Yuen major style points for experimentation, he’s still unquestionably at his best spinning new takes on old classics. The retro (but tremendously inventive) fight between Su and Yuen as they scale the walls of a well will be remembered and revered by genre fanatics for years to come.

Yuen’s work on the fight scenes in “The Matrix” inspired a decade of imitators. None of them could hold a candle to the real thing. Watching his work as both director and choroegrapher of “True Legend” I began to realize why; the knock-offs stole his flash but not his fundamentals. His camera placement and movement is always perfect and he doesn’t abuse slow motion the way so many of his lesser contemporaries do, only using it when necessary to heighten emotions, to let us dwell a few seconds longer on the face of a fighter as he summons his courage, or realizes he is going to lose as he falls to the floor. Space and time are always clear in his work; you never need to pause or rewind to understand who’s doing what to who. That’s because Yuen understands that martial arts sequences are more than bodies in motion, they are bodies telling stories in motion, and that’s what really separates his work from his copycats.

The resolution of Su and Yuen’s epic sibling rivalry, and particularly where that resolution comes in the narrative of the film, didn’t make much sense to me until I read about Beggar Su realized the character was something of a Chinese folkhero. Hence the film ends not with him at his lowest ebb, but after an otherwise unnecessary epilogue where he begins to truly harness the power of drunken boxing. But, of course, the great thing about martial arts movies, inferior though they may sometimes make us feel about ourselves, is that the plot is irrelevant, and any excuse to let Vincent Zhao fight three wrestlers simultaneously is a good one. Maybe I can’t quite describe the pleasures offered by “True Legend.” But I can definitely encourage you to experience them for yourself.

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New Nasty

Whips, Chains and Hand Sanitizer

Turn On The Full Season Of Neurotica At IFC's Comedy Crib

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Jenny Jaffe has a lot going on: She’s writing for Disney’s upcoming Big Hero 6: The Series, developing comedy projects with pals at Devastator Press, and she’s straddling the line between S&M and OCD as the creator and star of the sexyish new series Neurotica, which has just made its debut on IFC’s Comedy Crib. Jenny gave us some extremely intimate insight into what makes Neurotica (safely) sizzle…

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IFC: How would you describe Neurotica to a fancy network executive you met in an elevator?

Jenny: Neurotica is about a plucky Dominatrix with OCD trying to save her small-town dungeon.

IFC: How would you describe Neurotica to a drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?

Jenny: Neurotica is about a plucky Dominatrix with OCD trying to save her small-town dungeon. You’re great. We should get coffee sometime. I’m not just saying that. I know other people just say that sometimes but I really feel like we’re going to be friends, you know? Here, what’s your number, I’ll call you so you can have my number!

IFC: What’s your comedy origin story?

Jenny: Since I was a kid I’ve dealt with severe OCD and anxiety. Comedy has always been one of the ways I’ve dealt with that. I honestly just want to help make people feel happy for a few minutes at a time.

IFC: What was the genesis of Neurotica?

Jenny: I’m pretty sure it was a title-first situation. I was coming up with ideas to pitch to a production company a million years ago (this isn’t hyperbole; I am VERY old) and just wrote down “Neurotica”; then it just sort of appeared fully formed. “Neurotica? Oh it’s an over-the-top romantic comedy about a Dominatrix with OCD, of course.” And that just happened to hit the buttons of everything I’m fascinated by.

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IFC: How would you describe Ivy?

Jenny: Ivy is everything I love in a comedy character – she’s tenacious, she’s confident, she’s sweet, she’s a big wonderful weirdo.

IFC: How would Ivy’s clientele describe her?

Jenny:  Open-minded, caring, excellent aim.

IFC: Why don’t more small towns have local dungeons?

Jenny: How do you know they don’t?

IFC: What are the pros and cons of joining a chain mega dungeon?

Jenny: You can use any of their locations but you’ll always forget you have a membership and in a year you’ll be like “jeez why won’t they let me just cancel?”

IFC: Mouths are gross! Why is that?

Jenny: If you had never seen a mouth before and I was like “it’s a wet flesh cave with sharp parts that lives in your face”, it would sound like Cronenberg-ian body horror. All body parts are horrifying. I’m kind of rooting for the singularity, I’d feel way better if I was just a consciousness in a cloud.

See the whole season of Neurotica right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

The-Craft

The ’90s Are Back

The '90s live again during IFC's weekend marathon.

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Photo Credit: Everett Digital, Columbia Pictures

We know what you’re thinking: “Why on Earth would anyone want to reanimate the decade that gave us Haddaway, Los Del Rio, and Smash Mouth, not to mention Crystal Pepsi?”

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Thoughts like those are normal. After all, we tend to remember lasting psychological trauma more vividly than fleeting joy. But if you dig deep, you’ll rediscover that the ’90s gave us so much to fondly revisit. Consider the four pillars of true ’90s culture.

Boy Bands

We all pretended to hate them, but watch us come alive at a karaoke bar when “I Want It That Way” comes on. Arguably more influential than Brit Pop and Grunge put together, because hello – Justin Timberlake. He’s a legitimate cultural gem.

Man-Child Movies

Adam Sandler is just behind The Simpsons in terms of his influence on humor. Somehow his man-child schtick didn’t get old until the aughts, and his success in that arena ushered in a wave of other man-child movies from fellow ’90s comedians. RIP Chris Farley (and WTF Rob Schneider).

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Teen Angst

In horror, dramas, comedies, and everything in between: Troubled teens! Getting into trouble! Who couldn’t relate to their First World problems, plaid flannels, and lose grasp of the internet?

Mainstream Nihilism

From the Coen Bros to Fincher to Tarantino, filmmakers on the verge of explosive popularity seemed interested in one thing: mind f*cking their audiences by putting characters in situations (and plot lines) beyond anyone’s control.

Feeling better about that walk down memory lane? Good. Enjoy the revival.

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And revisit some important ’90s classics all this weekend during IFC’s ’90s Marathon. Check out the full schedule here.

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Get Physical

DVDs are the new Vinyl

Portlandia Season 7 Now Available On Disc.

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In this crazy digital age, sometimes all we really want is to reach out and touch something. Maybe that’s why so many of us are still gung-ho about owning stuff on DVD. It’s tangible. It’s real. It’s tech from a bygone era that still feels relevant, yet also kitschy and retro. It’s basically vinyl for people born after 1990.

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Inevitably we all have that friend whose love of the disc is so absolutely repellent that he makes the technology less appealing. “The resolution, man. The colors. You can’t get latitude like that on a download.” Go to hell, Tim.

Yes, Tim sucks, and you don’t want to be like Tim, but maybe he’s onto something and DVD is still the future. Here are some benefits that go beyond touch.

It’s Decor and Decorum

With DVDs and a handsome bookshelf you can show off your great taste in film and television without showing off your search history. Good for first dates, dinner parties, family reunions, etc.

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Forget Public Wifi

Warm up that optical drive. No more awkwardly streaming episodes on shady free wifi!

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Inter-not

Internet service goes down. It happens all the time. It could happen right now. Then what? Without a DVD on hand you’ll be forced to make eye contact with your friends and family. Or worse – conversation.

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Self Defense

You can’t throw a download like a ninja star. Think about it.

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If you’d like to experience the benefits DVD ownership yourself, Portlandia Season 7 is now available on DVD and Blue-Ray.