io9 has spotted a new and exciting supercut: every single line uttered by Bill Paxton’s Private Hudson in James Cameron’s 1986 film “Aliens.” Truly this is game over, man.
As supercuts go, it’s a good one. It’s funny, of course, to see all of Paxton’s whinging re-edited into one six minute long mega rant. But played out this way, Hudson’s arc takes on tragic dimensions too. He’s priggish in the beginning then terrified and scared after the first alien attack. He also has a moment of personal reflect that I must admit I’ve never really paid attention to before while watching “Aliens” at its full length; babbling about how he was four weeks away from getting out of the Marines. After that, he regains his resolve before succumbing to his final fate. Oh, Hudson. You were too beautiful for this world.
That’s the value of these supercuts beyond their superficial pleasures: they give us an opportunity to reevaluate texts we think we understand. Also: by my count, Paxton says the word “man” 31 times in the movie. 31 times! Man, that’s a lot.
This Thursday, October 1st, get to know two great new shows on IFC. At 10P, get on the ice and join the team on Benders. On the premiere episode, Paul’s (Andrew Schulz) grandpa makes him an offer he can’t refuse, even if it interferes with his busy schedule of hockey playing and beer drinking.
The stay tuned at 10:30P for Gigi Does It, the new show starring David Krumholtz as a grandma who gets her groove back. This week, Gigi Rotblum inherits her late husband’s secret fortune, hires an assistant (Ricky Mabe), and takes unexpected measures to protect herself. James Urbaniak (Difficult People) guest stars.
Judy Greer is basically the human equivalent of bacon — she makes everything better. In the last year alone she’s appeared in Tomorrowland, Entourage, Ant-Man and Jurassic World, doing her best to elevate often underdeveloped characters. With Greer stopping by Comedy Bang! Bang!, we thought it was high time to celebrate the roles that have made her a national treasure. And to see how she scores so many great roles, check out her universal audition tape.
10. Bran Lowenstein, Love Monkey
This show only lasted three episodes for hit factory CBS, but it was enough to earn a cult following. The story of a bunch of young New Yorkers navigating life and love could’ve been yet another Friends clone, but Greer and an all-star cast gave it a funky flavor that would be more at home on cable today.
9. Shannon, Addicted to Fresno
Greer earned rave reviews for her role in this 2015 film about a sex addict who accidentally kills a guy and needs her sister (Natasha Lyonne) to help her get rid of the body. Combining big, broad comedy with some real pathos, this is Greer at her absolute best.
8. Fern Mayo, Jawbreaker
Greer went from geek to glam in this dark cult comedy that proved she was destined for big things.
7. Alice the Waitress, Adaptation.
Is it any wonder that Greer was the dream girl for writer Charlie Kaufman (Nicolas Cage), considering her mix of beauty, brains and being approachable while also being fierce?
6. Lucy Wyman, 13 Going on 30
Here is Greer in one of her patented best friend roles, showing us that even when she doesn’t drive a scene, we can’t take our eyes off of her.
5. Lina Bowman, Married
Greer can currently be seen surviving marriage on this FX series, which allows her to showcase a wide variety of hilarious faces.
4. Julie Speer, The Descendants
Fox Searchlight Pictures
As home in Oscar-winning dramas as she is in comedy, Greer nails this role of an aggrieved wife who’s just trying to keep her family from falling apart in Alexander Payne’s 2011 film.
3. Ingrid “Fatty Magoo” Nelson, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Greer is perfectly cast as Sweet Dee’s arch rival, who always seems to know the exact wrong thing to say to her.
2. Kitty Sanchez, Arrested Development
Greer, with the help of the always on Spring Break Kitty Sanchez, helped show the world and Michael Bluth that she was a force to be reckoned with.
1. Cherly Tunt, Archer
And then there’s Cheryl, a bondage loving secretary who moonlights as a world famous country singer. If ever there was a role Greer was born to play, this is it.
The action-packed Transporter trilogy is screeching onto IFC, where it intends to deliver car chases, explosions, and more Jason Statham than should be legally allowed. But how well do you know this high-octane franchise? Take our quiz on the Transporter movies below and find out.
There have been countless movies about sports heroes over the years. But every so often those of us whose court is on the couch regretting how many chicken wings we ate on game day get the spotlight. The Benders guys love hockey, but these passionate sports fans from the movies take their team loyalty to some pretty extreme places.
8. Kevin Costner, Field of Dreams
Ray Kinsella (Costner) is such a fan of baseball, he listens to voices in his head and builds a field in his backyard. Thankfully they never made a sequel called “Field of Screams” where the voices tell Ray to murder his family.
7. Dan Aykroyd and Daniel Stern, Celtic Pride
Aykroyd and Stern play Boston fans who kidnap an opposing team’s player in this Judd Apatow scripted comedy. Much like Tom Brady, they never admit to their crime.
6. Robert De Niro, The Fan
Gil Renard (De Niro) loved the San Francisco Giants so much, he actually kidnapped player Bobby Rayburn’s (Wesley Snipes) son. Couldn’t he have just painted his body orange and black and called it a day?
5. The Fans in Major League
The fans stayed dedicated to the Indians even in tough times, which is pretty admirable since the team consisted of a womanizer, an ex-con and a voodoo practitioner.
4. Patton Oswalt, Big Fan
Patton Oswalt is borderline mental in his NY Giants fandom here, which, if you look at their offense this year, you’d have to be.
3. Robert De Niro (again), Silver Linings Playbook
De Niro’s character has lost it all betting on the Eagles over the years. Nobody tell him about Draft Kings, okay?
2. Toro the Bull, Space Jam
It’s not tough to root for a team consisting of Michael Jordan, Bugs Bunny AND Bill Murray, but Toro didn’t just cheer from the sidelines. When push came to shove, he put his horns where the Monstars’ sun don’t shine, and helped turn the tide of the game.
1. Susan Sarandon, Bull Durham
Talk about going the extra mile. Mentor, lover and fan, Annie Savoy (Sarandon) is second only to the jock strap as the ultimate athletic supporter.