DID YOU READ

Get Ready For New Malick With A Game Of “Name That Thistle”

Get Ready For New Malick With A Game Of “Name That Thistle” (photo)

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Today I humbly bow in admiration at the feet of Slate’s Brow Beat for dreaming up something so funny, I wish I had thought of it.

They’ve decided to celebrate the impending release of Terrence Malick’s new movie “The Tree of Life” (read my review here) with a little quiz with the awesome title “Name That Thistle.” First off, anyone who makes Malick thistle jokes is okay in my book. But on top of that, it’s really an outstanding and surprisingly tough little quiz (I will confess: I did not get a perfect score. Damn you dreamlike giant grasshoppers!). They’ve prepared eight different anonymous YouTube clips and it’s up to you to determine whether they’re from a Terrence Malick movie or from a nature documentary. So, for instance, take a look at the image at the top of this post (thistles!). Whaddya think: did I take it from a movie directed by Terrence Malick or did I find it by screencapping a documentary on Netflix? The answer’s below.

Name That Thistle is an especially appropriate appetizer for “The Tree of Life” because Malick is, in fact, planning on turning extra material he shot for the film into its own nature documentary. As you’ve probably read by now, “The Tree of Life,” which is predominantly about a family in Texas in the 1950s, includes an extended sequence chronicling the birth of the universe and the origins of life on Planet Earth. According to The Los Angeles Times, Malick is working on an IMAX film called “Voyage of Time” that would expand that sequence into a full-blown documentary. It will be narrated by Brad Pitt and cover “the whole of time, from the birth of the universe to its final collapse.” The plan originally called for “Voyage of Time” to open simultaneously with “The Tree of Life,” but out of fear that the two films could “confuse audiences,” the documentary has been delayed to “an unspecified future date.”

With Malick, who routinely takes half-decades to make one film, that means it could be a long, long wait for that “Voyage.” But we’ll cross our fingers that maybe some day down the line we can look forward to a Name That Thistle sequel: Name That Pulsar. In the meantime, go test your knowledge of meditative close-ups of waterfalls.

(Photo Credit Answer: “Days of Heaven,” Paramount, 1978 — OR IS IT??? Okay, it is.)

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Millennial Wisdom

Charles Speaks For Us All

Get to know Charles, the social media whiz of Brockmire.

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He may be an unlikely radio producer Brockmire, but Charles is #1 when it comes to delivering quips that tie a nice little bow on the absurdity of any given situation.

Charles also perfectly captures the jaded outlook of Millennials. Or at least Millennials as mythologized by marketers and news idiots. You know who you are.

Played superbly by Tyrel Jackson Williams, Charles’s quippy nuggets target just about any subject matter, from entry-level jobs in social media (“I plan on getting some experience here, then moving to New York to finally start my life.”) to the ramifications of fictional celebrity hookups (“Drake and Taylor Swift are dating! Albums y’all!”). But where he really nails the whole Millennial POV thing is when he comments on America’s second favorite past-time after type II diabetes: baseball.

Here are a few pearls.

On Baseball’s Lasting Cultural Relevance

“Baseball’s one of those old-timey things you don’t need anymore. Like cursive. Or email.”

On The Dramatic Value Of Double-Headers

“The only thing dumber than playing two boring-ass baseball games in one day is putting a two-hour delay between the boring-ass games.”

On Sartorial Tradition

“Is dressing badly just a thing for baseball, because that would explain his jacket.”

On Baseball, In A Nutshell

“Baseball is a f-cked up sport, and I want you to know it.”


Learn more about Charles in the behind-the-scenes video below.

And if you were born before the late ’80s and want to know what the kids think about Baseball, watch Brockmire Wednesdays at 10P on IFC.

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Crown Jules

Amanda Peet FTW on Brockmire

Amanda Peet brings it on Brockmire Wednesday at 10P on IFC.

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GIFS via Giphy

On Brockmire, Jules is the unexpected yin to Jim Brockmire’s yang. Which is saying a lot, because Brockmire’s yang is way out there. Played by Amanda Peet, Jules is hard-drinking, truth-spewing, baseball-loving…everything Brockmire is, and perhaps what he never expected to encounter in another human.

“We’re the same level of functional alcoholic.”


But Jules takes that commonality and transforms it into something special: a new beginning. A new beginning for failing minor league baseball team “The Frackers”, who suddenly about-face into a winning streak; and a new beginning for Brockmire, whose life gets a jumpstart when Jules lures him back to baseball. As for herself, her unexpected connection with Brockmire gives her own life a surprising and much needed goose.

“You’re a Goddamn Disaster and you’re starting To look good to me.”

This palpable dynamic adds depth and complexity to the narrative and pushes the series far beyond expected comedy. See for yourself in this behind-the-scenes video (and brace yourself for a unforgettable description of Brockmire’s genitals)…

Want more about Amanda Peet? She’s all over the place, and has even penned a recent self-reflective piece in the New York Times.

And of course you can watch the Jim-Jules relationship hysterically unfold in new episodes of Brockmire, every Wednesday at 10PM on IFC.

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Draught Pick

Sam Adams “Keeps It Brockmire”

All New Brockmire airs Wednesdays at 10P on IFC.

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From baseball to beer, Jim Brockmire calls ’em like he sees ’em.

via GIPHY

It’s no wonder at all, then, that Sam Adams would reach out to Brockmire to be their shockingly-honest (and inevitably short-term) new spokesperson. Unscripted and unrestrained, he’ll talk straight about Sam—and we’ll take his word. Check out this new testimonial for proof:

See more Brockmire Wednesdays at 10P on IFC, presented by Samuel Adams. Good f***** beer.

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