DID YOU READ

3D Projectors Might Be Ruining 2D Movies

3D Projectors Might Be Ruining 2D Movies (photo)

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Yesterday’s Boston Globe had a frankly horrifying piece from film critic by Ty Burr about the impact of 3D projectors on 2D projection in Boston. Burr found that 8 of the 19 screens at a local AMC multiplex on a mid-April evening were presenting “gloomy, underlit images.” He eventually discovered the culprit was a particular brand of projector — a 4K digital model by Sony — that requires an external lens adapter to exhibit 3D films. If you leave that 3D lens on during 2D movies, as Burr found was the habit in certain Boston theaters, the result is an image that, according to one expert, can be “85 percent darker than a properly projected film.”

I encourage anyone who regularly visits multiplexes to read Burr’s entire piece. Though he got a few union projectionists to talk anonymously about the problem, he found the multiplexes themselves rather apathetic about the issue. The National Amusements chain claims they’ve had no problems with the Sony 4K, Regal Cinemas responded with a statement claiming their patrons like digital cinema in general, and AMC, the company that prompted Burr’s piece, essentially said they have no corporate policy in place regarding the proper use of these 4K projectors. That means it’s up to your local theater to figure out how to use these machines properly, or to spend the time and money required to switch out the 3D lens when it’s not in use. Looking for a red flag? Next time you’re watching a digitally-projected 2D movie at the multiplex, and the night scenes look extra murky, you might want to consider bringing it to the attention of the management. Burr also recommends you take a look back at the projection booth if you’re suspicious of the image quality. He says “if you see two beams of light, one stacked on top of the other, that’s a Sony with the 3-D lens still in place. If there’s a single beam, it’s either a Sony with the 3-D lens removed or a different brand of digital projector, such as Christie or Barco.”

Perhaps the most disheartening thing about Burr’s piece isn’t the widespread dim image quality — that’s a battle that’s been fought for decades, long before 3D adapters were the problem — but that the total lack of concern on the part of the movie theaters is echoed by the customers he interviewed. Polling a few patrons exiting a movie that was clearly misprojected, Burr found mostly disinterest in the issue. “An older couple leaving the under-illuminated 7:15 ‘Win Win’ showing thought the film looked fine,” he wrote. “Another patron praised its ‘creative lighting.'”

One could argue this is making a three-dimensional mountain out of a two-dimensional molehill. If these customers feel like they got their money’s worth, why complain? Because to not complain is to accept mediocrity. It’s true: it’s tough to know whether a movie is being properly projected. Most of us are seeing the movie for the first time; so how can we tell if it looks right? We put our trust in the theater to protect us. Burr’s article suggests they may need to do more to earn that trust.

Here’s the crazy thing about the general shoulder shrugging Burr got when he asked movie theater chains about this problem: it’s in their best interest to give their customers the finest experience they can possibly have. These companies are under assault from all sides. Movie studios are considering shortened video on demand windows. Customers have better home theaters. The folks who do buy tickets spend the entire movie talking and texting on their cell phones. The quality of the theatrical experience should be the exhibitors’ number one priority; if I want to watch a crummy looking version of a movie in depressing surroundings, I can wait a few months and watch it at home on my tiny SD television. If I’m going to get a similarly frustrating experience for fifteen bucks, why pay? I’m a dim guy, but I’m not that stupid.

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Hard Out

Comedy From The Closet

Janice and Jeffrey Available Now On IFC's Comedy Crib

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She’s been referred to as “the love child of Amy Sedaris and Tracy Ullman,” and he’s a self-described “Italian who knows how to cook a great spaghetti alla carbonara.” They’re Mollie Merkel and Matteo Lane, prolific indie comedians who blended their robust creative juices to bring us the new Comedy Crib series Janice and Jeffrey. Mollie and Matteo took time to answer our probing questions about their series and themselves. Here’s a taste.

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IFC: How would you describe Janice and Jeffrey to a fancy network executive you met in an elevator?

Mollie & Matteo: Janice and Jeffrey is about a married couple experiencing intimacy issues but who don’t have a clue it’s because they are gay. Their oblivion makes them even more endearing.  Their total lack of awareness provides for a buffet of comedy.

IFC: What’s your origin story? How did you two people meet and how long have you been working together?

Mollie: We met at a dive bar in Wrigley Field Chicago. It was a show called Entertaining Julie… It was a cool variety scene with lots of talented people. I was doing Janice one night and Matteo was doing an impression of Liza Minnelli. We sort of just fell in love with each other’s… ACT! Matteo made the first move and told me how much he loved Janice and I drove home feeling like I just met someone really special.

IFC: How would Janice describe Jeffrey?

Mollie: “He can paint, cook homemade Bolognese, and sing Opera. Not to mention he has a great body. He makes me feel empowered and free. He doesn’t suffocate me with attention so our love has room to breath.”

IFC: How would Jeffrey describe Janice?

Matteo: “Like a Ford. Built to last.”

IFC: Why do you think the world is ready for this series?

Mollie & Matteo: Our current political world is mirroring and reflecting this belief that homosexuality is wrong. So what better time for satire. Everyone is so pro gay and equal rights, which is of course what we want, too. But no one is looking at middle America and people actually in the closet. No one is saying, hey this is really painful and tragic, and sitting with that. Having compassion but providing the desperate relief of laughter…This seemed like the healthiest, best way to “fight” the gay rights “fight”.

IFC: Hummus is hilarious. Why is it so funny?

Mollie: It just seems like something people take really seriously, which is funny to me. I started to see it in a lot of lesbians’ refrigerators at a time. It’s like observing a lesbian in a comfortable shoe. It’s a language we speak. Pass the Hummus. Turn on the Indigo Girls would ya?

See the whole season of Janice and Jeffrey right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

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Die Hard Dads

Inspiration For Die Hard Dads

Die Hard is on IFC all Father's Day Long

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIPHY

Yippee ki-yay, everybody! It’s time to celebrate the those most literal of mother-effers: dads!

And just in case the title of this post left anything to the imagination, IFC is giving dads balls-to-the-wall ’80s treatment with a glorious marathon of action trailblazer Die Hard.

There are so many things we could say about Die Hard. We could talk about how it was comedian Bruce Willis’s first foray into action flicks, or Alan Rickman’s big screen debut. But dads don’t give a sh!t about that stuff.

No, dads just want to fantasize that they could be deathproof quip factory John McClane in their own mundane lives. So while you celebrate the fathers in your life, consider how John McClane would respond to these traditional “dad” moments…

Wedding Toasts

Dads always struggle to find the right words of welcome to extend to new family. John McClane, on the other hand, is the master of inclusivity.
Die Hard wedding

Using Public Restrooms

While nine out of ten dads would rather die than use a disgusting public bathroom, McClane isn’t bothered one bit. So long as he can fit a bloody foot in the sink, he’s G2G.
Die Hard restroom

Awkward Dancing

Because every dad needs a signature move.
Die Hard dance

Writing Thank You Notes

It can be hard for dads to express gratitude. Not only can McClane articulate his thanks, he makes it feel personal.
Die Hard thank you

Valentine’s Day

How would John McClane say “I heart you” in a way that ain’t cliche? The image speaks for itself.
Die Hard valentines

Shopping

The only thing most dads hate more than shopping is fielding eleventh-hour phone calls with additional items for the list. But does McClane throw a typical man-tantrum? Nope. He finds the words to express his feelings like a goddam adult.
Die Hard thank you

Last Minute Errands

John McClane knows when a fight isn’t worth fighting.
Die Hard errands

Sneaking Out Of The Office Early

What is this, high school? Make a real exit, dads.
Die Hard office

Think you or your dad could stand to be more like Bruce? Role model fodder abounds in the Die Hard marathon all Father’s Day long on IFC.

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Founding Farters

Know Your Nerd History

Revenge of the Nerds is on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIFs via Giphy

That we live in the heyday of nerds is no hot secret. Scientists are celebrities, musicians are robots and late night hosts can recite every word of the Silmarillion. It’s too easy to think that it’s always been this way. But the truth is we owe much to our nerd forebearers who toiled through the jock-filled ’80s so that we might take over the world.

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Our humble beginnings are perhaps best captured in iconic ’80s romp Revenge of the Nerds. Like the founding fathers of our Country, the titular nerds rose above their circumstances to culturally pave the way for every Colbert and deGrasse Tyson that we know and love today.

To make sure you’re in the know about our very important cultural roots, here’s a quick download of the vengeful nerds without whom our shameful stereotypes might never have evolved.

Lewis Skolnick

The George Washington of nerds whose unflappable optimism – even in the face of humiliating self-awareness – basically gave birth to the Geek Pride movement.

Gilbert Lowe

OK, this guy is wet blanket, but an important wet blanket. Think Aaron Burr to Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Hamilton. His glass-mostly-empty attitude is a galvanizing force for Lewis. Who knows if Lewis could have kept up his optimism without Lowe’s Debbie-Downer outlook?

Arnold Poindexter

A music nerd who, after a soft start (inside joke, you’ll get it later), came out of his shell and let his passion lead instead of his anxiety. If you played an instrument (specifically, electric violin), and you were a nerd, this was your patron saint.

Booger

A sex-loving, blunt-smoking, nose-picking guitar hero. If you don’t think he sounds like a classic nerd, you’re absolutely right. And that’s the whole point. Along with Lamar, he simultaneously expanded the definition of nerd and gave pre-existing nerds a twisted sort of cred by association.

Lamar Latrell

Black, gay, and a crazy good breakdancer. In other words, a total groundbreaker. He proved to the world that nerds don’t have a single mold, but are simply outcasts waiting for their moment.

Ogre

Exceedingly stupid, this dumbass was monumental because he (in a sequel) leaves the jocks to become a nerd. Totally unheard of back then. Now all jocks are basically nerds.

Well, there they are. Never forget that we stand on their shoulders.

Revenge of the Nerds is on IFC all month long.

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