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The Curious Cameography of Woody Allen

The Curious Cameography of Woody Allen (photo)

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With reports out of France that Woody Allen is shooting a cameo for the film “Paris Manhattan,” a comedy from first-time director Sophie Lellouche in which part of the plot revolves around a pharmacist (Alice Taglioni) so obsessed with his work she prescribes DVDs of his films to patients, the 75-year-old filmmaker continues a tradition of picking peculiar projects to appear in outside of his own.

In a career that’s entering its fifth decade, Allen has starred in just six films he hasn’t directed (“Play It Again, Sam,” “The Front,” “Scenes From a Mall,” the 1996 “Sunshine Boys” TV remake, “Antz” and “Picking Up the Pieces”) and limited himself to a handful of other uncredited cameos. Though he’s scarcely performed in anything in recent years – his last role as an actor was in 2006’s “Scoop” – some of his most intriguing roles have come in the films in which he’s scarcely seen, including these four below.

Jean-Luc Godard’s “King Lear” (1987)

Think of a far more languid version of Michel Gondry’s “Be Kind Rewind” and you have some idea of what Godard was up to with his adaptation of Shakespeare’s “King Lear,” which begins with the premise that the fallout of the Chernobyl nuclear disaster wiped out much of the world’s art, including the Bard’s most famous works and it’s up to his fifth generation descendant (Peter Sellars) to recreate his work and as most of the characters mirror those in the play, Allen assumes the role of the Fool, known in this film as Mr. Alien, who shows up at the end as a film editor whose dialogue is mostly pulled from the original Shakespeare text. It’s been suggested Allen wanted to be uncredited in the role so he wouldn’t be included in the film’s marketing materials, but his appearance is so brief, it’s understandable, though still rare as an example of Allen doing a thoroughly dramatic reading of Shakespeare. (Cinephiles still might be more interested in “Meeting WA,” the interview between Allen and Godard that likely influenced his being cast in “King Lear,” filmed a year earlier in 1986.)

“Just Shoot Me” (1997)

Allen’s most out of the blue appearance pre-“Paris” wasn’t in fact an appearance at all, but a voice cameo for the NBC sitcom “Just Shoot Me” in 1997. The episode “My Dinner With Woody” involved Laura San Giacomo’s writer Maya imagined a date with the auteur in the pages of the fictional Blush Magazine, after which an Allen impersonator actually does score a date with her and leaves her disillusioned, making a phone call from the real Allen at the end of the episode a moot point. To facilitate the phone call, the show’s executive producer Steve Levitan, who has since gone on to create “Modern Family,” wrote to Allen and included a tape of the episode without the ending, hoping that Allen would say the show’s final lines. As Levitan told Entertainment Weekly at the time, “There was stunned silence when we got Woody’s tape [in return].” His cameo can be heard at 9:25 in this clip:

“The Imposters” (1998)

As Stanley Tucci’s producing partner Elizabeth Alexander told Premiere magazine on the set of “The Imposters,” “Stanley [Tucci] collects people from different jobs,” so it was only a matter of time before the actor parlayed a small part in “Decontructing Harry” into an invitation to Allen to play a theater director in his follow-up to “Big Night.” At a point when his legend was accepted and the scandal of the early ’90s had subsided, it seems as though the late ’90s and early 2000s were the time to ask Allen for a favor – as one can tell from this list, it’s the most acting he ever did outside of his own films, even without counting appearances as proper leads in the TV remake of “The Sunshine Boys” and Alfonso Arau’s unfortunate 2000 comedy “Picking Up the Pieces” where he scatters Sharon Stone’s butchered remains across the New Mexico desert. There’s no doubt Allen was more at home with playing a fussy last ditch effort for two down-on-their-luck thespians (Tucci and Oliver Platt) to audition for before they sneak onto a cruise ship during the Depression to lighten the mood.

“Company Man” (2000)

Allen has only worked with three other writers throughout his career on films he’s directed himself – his childhood friend Mickey Rose on “Bananas” and “Take the Money and Run,” Marshall Brickman during the “Annie Hall” and “Manhattan” era, and Douglas McGrath on “Bullets Over Broadway.” And McGrath was the only one to persuade him to spend a day on the set in front of the camera in a film he directed (with Peter Askin), which led to Allen’s turn as a U.S. diplomat smitten with France whose dissatisfaction with his reassignment to Cuba seeps into his assessment of the region on the eve of the Bay of Pigs to a CIA agent, played by McGrath. Allen turns in one of the funniest performances in the film, a misfire that was made more of a disappointment considering McGrath’s success with “Emma” drew an all-star cast including the likes of John Turturro, Denis Leary, and Sigourney Weaver to this goofy ’60s spy spoof. Of course, McGrath has returned the favor repeatedly in bit parts in four of Allen’s films (including a turn as a jazz expert version of himself in “Sweet and Lowdown”), so that probably made putting on a beret and hamming it up for Allen a no-brainer.

Danzig-Portlandia-604-web

Face Melting Cameos

The 10 Most Metal Pop Culture Cameos

Glenn Danzig drops by Portlandia tonight at 10P on IFC.

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Glenn Danzig rocks harder than granite. In his 60 years, he’s mastered punk with The Misfits, slayed metal with the eponymous Danzig, and generally melted faces with the force of his voice. And thanks to Fred and Carrie, he’s now stopping by tonight’s brand new Portlandia so we can finally get to see what “Evil Elvis” is like when he hits the beach. To celebrate his appearance, we put together our favorite metal moments from pop culture, from the sublime to the absurd.

10. Cannibal Corpse meets Ace Ventura

Back in the ’90s,  Cannibal Corpse was just a small time band from Upstate New York, plying their death metal wares wherever they could find a crowd, when a call from Jim Carry transformed their lives. Turns out the actor was a fan, and wanted them for a cameo in his new movie, Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. The band had a European tour coming up, and were wary of being made fun of, so they turned it down. Thankfully, the rubber-faced In Living Color vet wouldn’t take no for an answer, proving that you don’t need to have a lot of fans, just the right ones.


9. AC/DC in Private Parts

Howard Stern’s autobiographical film, based on his book of the same name, followed his rise in the world of radio and pop culture. For a man surrounded by naked ladies and adoring fans, it’s hard to track the exact moment he made it. But rocking out with AC/DC in the middle of Central Park, as throngs of fans clamor to get a piece of you, seems like it comes pretty close. You can actually see Stern go from hit host to radio god in this clip, as “You Shook Me All Night Long” blasts in the background.


8. Judas Priest meets The Simpsons

When you want to blast a bunch of peace-loving hippies out on their asses, you’re going to need some death metal. At least, that’s what the folks at The Simpsons thought when they set up this cameo from the metal gods. Unfortunately, thanks to a hearty online backlash, the writers of the classic series were soon informed that Judas Priest, while many things, are not in fact “death metal.” This led to the most Simpson-esque apology ever. Rock on, Bartman. Rock on.


7. Anthrax on Married…With Children

What do you get when Married…with Children spoofs My Dinner With Andre, substituting the erudite playwrights for a band so metal they piss rust? Well, for starters, a lot of headbanging, property destruction and blown eardrums. And much like everything else in life, Al seems to have missed the fun.


6. Motorhead rocks out on The Young Ones

The Young Ones didn’t just premiere on BBC2 in 1982 — it kicked the doors down to a new way of doing comedy. A full-on assault on the staid state of sitcoms, the show brought a punk rock vibe to the tired format, and in the process helped jumpstart a comedy revolution. For instance, where an old sitcom would just cut from one scene to the next, The Young Ones choose to have Lemmy and his crew deliver a raw version of “Ace of Spades.” The general attitude seemed to be, you don’t like this? Well, then F— you!


5. Red and Kitty Meet Kiss on That ’70s Show

Carsey-Werner Productions

Carsey-Werner Productions

Long before they were banished to playing arena football games, Kiss was the hottest ticket in rock. The gang from That ’70s Show got to live out every ’70s teen’s dream when they were set loose backstage at a Kiss concert, taking full advantage of groupies, ganja and hard rock.


4. Ronnie James Dio in Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny (NSFW, people!)

What does a young boy do when he was born to rock, and the world won’t let him? What tight compadre does he pray to for guidance and some sweet licks? If you’re a young Jables, half of “the world’s most awesome band,” you bow your head to Ronnie James Dio, aka the guy who freaking taught the world how to do the “Metal Horns.” Never before has a rock god been so literal than in this clip that turns it up to eleven.


3. Ozzy Osbourne in Trick or Treat

It’s hard to tell if Ozzy was trying his hardest here, or just didn’t give a flying f–k. What is clear is that, either way, it doesn’t really matter. Ozzy’s approach to acting seems to lean more heavily on Jack Daniels than sense memory, and yet seeing the slurry English rocker play a sex-obsessed televangelist is so ridiculous, he gets a free pass. Taking part in the cult horror Trick or Treat, Ozzy proves that he makes things better just by showing up. Because that’s exactly what he did here. Showed up. And it rocks.


2. Glenn Danzig on Portlandia

Danzig seems to be coming out of a self imposed exile these days. He just signed with a record company, and his appearance on Portlandia is reminding everyone how kick ass he truly is. Who else but “The Other Man in Black” could help Portland’s resident goths figure out what to wear to the beach? Carrie Brownstein called Danzig “amazing,” and he called Fred “a genius,” so this was a rare love fest for the progenitor of horror punk.


1. Alice Cooper in Wayne’s World

It’s surprising, sure, but for a scene that contains no music whatsoever, it’s probably the most famous metal moment in the history of film. When Alice Cooper informed Wayne and Garth that Milwaukee is actually pronounced “Milly-way-kay” back in 1992, he created one of the most famous scenes in comedy history. What’s more metal than that? Much like Wayne and Garth, we truly are not worthy.

Boogie Nights Everett

Shaolin Boogie

See What Boogie Nights Would Look Like as a Kung Fu Flick

Catch Boogie Nights this month on IFC.

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New Line Cinema/Everett Collection

We all know the touching, coming-of-age film Boogie Nights revolves around a young man with a growth deformity finding success in a burgeoning industry. The stellar cast (which includes Mark Wahlberg, Burt Reynolds, Julianne Moore, John C. Reilly, Heather Graham, Don Cheadle, and Philip Seymour Hoffman) is at the top of their game, and everyone looks like they’re having a good time. (A real good time.)

But we at IFC can’t help but ask the age-old question: What if Boogie Nights had less sex and 100% more kicking? What would it look like as a ’70s kung fu movie? Well, rather than continue to leave that question unanswered, we decided to make it happen using audio from the classic grindhouse flick Return of the Kung Fu Dragon.

Watch the titans of the 1970s porn industry kick butt for a change below, and be sure to catch Boogie Nights this month on IFC.

Fred Armisen and Bill Hader as Blue Jean Committee

Sowing Their Oates

Watch Blue Jean Committee Talk About Their Old Pals Hall and Oates

Fred Armisen and Bill Hader made a smooth video for Hall & Oates.

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Kings of the “Yacht Rock” genre Daryl Hall and John Oates are kicking off a slew of tour dates this summer in an effort to raise the nation’s median concertgoer age by at least 30 years. And to announce their soon-to-be onslaught of blue-eyed soul jams, Hall & Oates have enlisted fellow “Mavens of Mellow” the Blue Jean Committee from IFC’s Documentary Now!. Reprising their laid back musical personas, Bill Hader and Fred Armisen reflected on the history between the two groups in a new video announcing the tour.

“What do you think of when you think of the Seventies? When you think of beautiful harmonies, you think of a duo who sing together to make hit songs. You think of the Blue Jean Committee and that’s who we are,” Armisen remarks. Hader continues, “Who you think of fifth, or maybe eighth, is Daryl Hall and John Oates. You know who used to open for us? Who we used to kick around? Daryl Hall and John Oates!” Strong words. Strong, smooth words.

Be sure to catch Hall & Oates on tour and check back for updates on Documentary Now! season two coming later this year.  For more Bill and Fred, check out the complete Documentary Now! archive, listen to music from the show, and watch full episodes right now on IFC.com and the IFC app.

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