DID YOU READ

The Twenty-Five Best TV Roles For Women

The Twenty-Five Best TV Roles For Women (photo)

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Picking the 25 best television roles for women wasn’t easy. Television has been around for long enough that women have played thousands of characters ranging from presidents to gods, mothers to strippers, aliens to stripper aliens and pretty much everything in between. In devising this list, we wanted to choose women we admired, or who were pioneers (not literally, sorry Ma Ingalls), or had stories that stuck with you for years. The female characters who ended up on the list come from the Upper East Side, California, Baltimore, distant futures, and other worlds. These women are strong, sassy, determined, ambitious. They were trailblazers for women both on television and off. They tackled hot-button issues head on and changed the course of national political conversations by virtue of plot lines on their shows. These women range from savvy to devilish to forthright and true. They were career women, mothers, daughters, grandmothers, leaders, cheerleaders, and some of them were just having more fun than anyone else in the room. They are the women we would like to be, or the women we would just like to get a drink with sometime, and, in some cases, the women we wouldn’t want to be caught with alone in a room. In short, these are the 25 best characters played by women on television:

25. Jaime Sommers from “The Bionic Woman”
Played by Lindsay Wagner, the Bionic Woman was crafted by the same team who brought us Steve Austin a.k.a. “The Six Million Dollar Man”. Austin begged his boss to save his critically-injured girlfriend after she was hurt in a skydiving accident immediately after their engagement. The result was a woman stronger, faster, and with better hearing than almost anyone on earth. The cost? Amnesia and a job as an agent for a branch of the CIA. She and her bionic dog, Maximillion, fought crime, including the FemBots, and saved the world over and over again.

24. Captain Kathryn Janeway on “Star Trek: Voyager”
Played by Kate Mulgrew, Captain Janeway was the first woman to helm a Star Trek series and she did it with skill and grace. (Think less Kirk, more Jean-Luc Picard.) As captain of the Starfleet starship USS Voyager, Janeway faced life or death decisions almost daily and faced down such adversaries as The Borg and the Q Continuum with fearless resilience. She was so good at her job that she eventually rose to the rank of Admiral in the film, “Star Trek: Nemesis.”

23. Blair Waldorf from “Gossip Girl”
Played by Leighton Meester, Blair is the Upper East Side’s resident Queen Bee. She’s a schemer, a dreamer, and always knows everyone’s business. No one would ever mistake her for nice, but everyone wants to be her friend. She is an unapologetic fashion plate with a big brain under all that shiny hair. She has no tolerance for anyone not up to her standards, which is most of the world.

22. Felicia “Snoop” Pearson from “The Wire”
Played by a woman of the same name, Snoop was an enforcer for Marlo Stanfield’s drug ring. The only girl in the crew, Snoop was fearsome as a street tough soldier with no fear of getting her hands dirty. Horror master Stephen King called her character “perhaps the most terrifying female villain to ever appear in a television series.”

21. Patsy Stone from “Absolutely Fabulous”
Played by Joanna Lumley, Patsy was always having more fun than anyone else. She claimed to have blocked out everything before 1968, but her life since then was filled with modeling jobs, time spent as a Bond girl, and harassing Saffron, her best friend Edina’s dour daughter. Adamantly immature, firmly alcoholic, and devastatingly fashion forward and fad obsessed, Patsy is no role model, but you definitely want her at your party. Propped against a wall perhaps. Word is that new episodes of the show are in production, which is ab fab, because the more Patsy, the better.

20. Angela Chase from “My So-Called Life”
Played by Claire Danes, Angela was very much a regular high school girl. As she entered adolescence, she struggled to find her own identity, leaving her old best friend for new ones and pulling away from her parents as she took tentative steps toward adulthood. Of course, there was a boy, Jordan Catalano, who Angela desperately wanted to notice her. The emotional ups and downs of the slow crawl to adulthood were narrated by Angela, which created one of the most painfully emotionally honest portrayals of adolescence ever.

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Hard Out

Comedy From The Closet

Janice and Jeffrey Available Now On IFC's Comedy Crib

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She’s been referred to as “the love child of Amy Sedaris and Tracy Ullman,” and he’s a self-described “Italian who knows how to cook a great spaghetti alla carbonara.” They’re Mollie Merkel and Matteo Lane, prolific indie comedians who blended their robust creative juices to bring us the new Comedy Crib series Janice and Jeffrey. Mollie and Matteo took time to answer our probing questions about their series and themselves. Here’s a taste.

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IFC: How would you describe Janice and Jeffrey to a fancy network executive you met in an elevator?

Mollie & Matteo: Janice and Jeffrey is about a married couple experiencing intimacy issues but who don’t have a clue it’s because they are gay. Their oblivion makes them even more endearing.  Their total lack of awareness provides for a buffet of comedy.

IFC: What’s your origin story? How did you two people meet and how long have you been working together?

Mollie: We met at a dive bar in Wrigley Field Chicago. It was a show called Entertaining Julie… It was a cool variety scene with lots of talented people. I was doing Janice one night and Matteo was doing an impression of Liza Minnelli. We sort of just fell in love with each other’s… ACT! Matteo made the first move and told me how much he loved Janice and I drove home feeling like I just met someone really special.

IFC: How would Janice describe Jeffrey?

Mollie: “He can paint, cook homemade Bolognese, and sing Opera. Not to mention he has a great body. He makes me feel empowered and free. He doesn’t suffocate me with attention so our love has room to breath.”

IFC: How would Jeffrey describe Janice?

Matteo: “Like a Ford. Built to last.”

IFC: Why do you think the world is ready for this series?

Mollie & Matteo: Our current political world is mirroring and reflecting this belief that homosexuality is wrong. So what better time for satire. Everyone is so pro gay and equal rights, which is of course what we want, too. But no one is looking at middle America and people actually in the closet. No one is saying, hey this is really painful and tragic, and sitting with that. Having compassion but providing the desperate relief of laughter…This seemed like the healthiest, best way to “fight” the gay rights “fight”.

IFC: Hummus is hilarious. Why is it so funny?

Mollie: It just seems like something people take really seriously, which is funny to me. I started to see it in a lot of lesbians’ refrigerators at a time. It’s like observing a lesbian in a comfortable shoe. It’s a language we speak. Pass the Hummus. Turn on the Indigo Girls would ya?

See the whole season of Janice and Jeffrey right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

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Die Hard Dads

Inspiration For Die Hard Dads

Die Hard is on IFC all Father's Day Long

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIPHY

Yippee ki-yay, everybody! It’s time to celebrate the those most literal of mother-effers: dads!

And just in case the title of this post left anything to the imagination, IFC is giving dads balls-to-the-wall ’80s treatment with a glorious marathon of action trailblazer Die Hard.

There are so many things we could say about Die Hard. We could talk about how it was comedian Bruce Willis’s first foray into action flicks, or Alan Rickman’s big screen debut. But dads don’t give a sh!t about that stuff.

No, dads just want to fantasize that they could be deathproof quip factory John McClane in their own mundane lives. So while you celebrate the fathers in your life, consider how John McClane would respond to these traditional “dad” moments…

Wedding Toasts

Dads always struggle to find the right words of welcome to extend to new family. John McClane, on the other hand, is the master of inclusivity.
Die Hard wedding

Using Public Restrooms

While nine out of ten dads would rather die than use a disgusting public bathroom, McClane isn’t bothered one bit. So long as he can fit a bloody foot in the sink, he’s G2G.
Die Hard restroom

Awkward Dancing

Because every dad needs a signature move.
Die Hard dance

Writing Thank You Notes

It can be hard for dads to express gratitude. Not only can McClane articulate his thanks, he makes it feel personal.
Die Hard thank you

Valentine’s Day

How would John McClane say “I heart you” in a way that ain’t cliche? The image speaks for itself.
Die Hard valentines

Shopping

The only thing most dads hate more than shopping is fielding eleventh-hour phone calls with additional items for the list. But does McClane throw a typical man-tantrum? Nope. He finds the words to express his feelings like a goddam adult.
Die Hard thank you

Last Minute Errands

John McClane knows when a fight isn’t worth fighting.
Die Hard errands

Sneaking Out Of The Office Early

What is this, high school? Make a real exit, dads.
Die Hard office

Think you or your dad could stand to be more like Bruce? Role model fodder abounds in the Die Hard marathon all Father’s Day long on IFC.

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Founding Farters

Know Your Nerd History

Revenge of the Nerds is on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIFs via Giphy

That we live in the heyday of nerds is no hot secret. Scientists are celebrities, musicians are robots and late night hosts can recite every word of the Silmarillion. It’s too easy to think that it’s always been this way. But the truth is we owe much to our nerd forebearers who toiled through the jock-filled ’80s so that we might take over the world.

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Our humble beginnings are perhaps best captured in iconic ’80s romp Revenge of the Nerds. Like the founding fathers of our Country, the titular nerds rose above their circumstances to culturally pave the way for every Colbert and deGrasse Tyson that we know and love today.

To make sure you’re in the know about our very important cultural roots, here’s a quick download of the vengeful nerds without whom our shameful stereotypes might never have evolved.

Lewis Skolnick

The George Washington of nerds whose unflappable optimism – even in the face of humiliating self-awareness – basically gave birth to the Geek Pride movement.

Gilbert Lowe

OK, this guy is wet blanket, but an important wet blanket. Think Aaron Burr to Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Hamilton. His glass-mostly-empty attitude is a galvanizing force for Lewis. Who knows if Lewis could have kept up his optimism without Lowe’s Debbie-Downer outlook?

Arnold Poindexter

A music nerd who, after a soft start (inside joke, you’ll get it later), came out of his shell and let his passion lead instead of his anxiety. If you played an instrument (specifically, electric violin), and you were a nerd, this was your patron saint.

Booger

A sex-loving, blunt-smoking, nose-picking guitar hero. If you don’t think he sounds like a classic nerd, you’re absolutely right. And that’s the whole point. Along with Lamar, he simultaneously expanded the definition of nerd and gave pre-existing nerds a twisted sort of cred by association.

Lamar Latrell

Black, gay, and a crazy good breakdancer. In other words, a total groundbreaker. He proved to the world that nerds don’t have a single mold, but are simply outcasts waiting for their moment.

Ogre

Exceedingly stupid, this dumbass was monumental because he (in a sequel) leaves the jocks to become a nerd. Totally unheard of back then. Now all jocks are basically nerds.

Well, there they are. Never forget that we stand on their shoulders.

Revenge of the Nerds is on IFC all month long.

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