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Some Highly Subjective Retroactive Video Game Grammy Awards

Some Highly Subjective Retroactive Video Game Grammy Awards (photo)

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I’ve always loved instrumental music but there’s something particularly special about video game music. My personal theory is that it’s different from other species of earworms, because it’s soaking into your neurons while your cognitive faculties are flexing to solve some gameplay riddle or another.

With the Grammy powers-that-be reorganizing categories to recognize music appearing in video games, my first thought was “It’s about damn time!” Once my indignation cooled, I wondered about game music that would’ve won Grammys if the new openness had been in place since the earliest days of the medium. Here’s a quick list of killer tracks that I’ve loved over the years.

1. “Creation – The State of Art”
“A Gamer’s Guide to Rez”
Ken Ishii

“Rez” creator Tetsuya Mizuguchi took his inspiration from the rave music scene so the whole soundtrack vibrates with glowstick energy. (An official CD release came out years ago and has become a rare find on the eBay circuit.) Yet the music doesn’t sound hopelessly dated in an oontz-oontz-oontz kind of way. All of the tunes–even the menu and title screens–are great, making it hard to pick just one. Still, for me, the audio for the third level of the game stands out from the rest. Japanese DJ Ishii’s nearly ten-minute track takes players on an odyssey even without the neon-colored vector graphics of the game.

2. “Hyllian Suite”
“Beyond Good & Evil”
Christophe Heral

Planet Hyllis, where beloved game “Beyond Good & Evil” took place, looked where a lot of culture mixing takes place. Michel Ancel and his dev team gave us anthropomorphic animals–pig uncles, rasta hippo mechanics, walrus shopkeepers–peacefully living with funky bohemian humans. The soundtrack from French composer Christophe Heral–who’s also done film, animation and TV work–reflects a polyglot sensibility, too, coming across as symphonic world music with a sense of humor. This mini-overture in particular sets up both the action and the emotional notes of heroine Jade’s story. It doesn’t seem that the music was made available separately from the game, though.

3. “Super Mario Bros Theme”
“Super Mario Bros. Theme”
Koji Kondo

What’s most amazing about this iconic piece of music is how supple it is. The 8-bit version that most gamers originally encountered on the NES always sounded a bit mischievious and portentious, alternately egging you on and advising caution. Played on solo piano as in the video above, it’s got a jazzy swing to it. When done in concert with Tommy Tallarico and his Video Games Live crew, it swells majestically. Any way you play it, Mario’s theme music has become one of the most pervasive and enjoyable pop culture jingles of the last 40 years.

4. “Lighthouse”
Soundtrack for “Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory”
Amon Tobin

You can hear the infleunce of Ennio Morricone, which suddenly gives way to Tobin’s signature frantic drum’n’bass collage. The 10-song soundtrack was recorded in Dolby 5.1 and marked one of the first times British DJ Tobin worked with a full orchestra. The best thing about this track in particular is how it mirrors the gameplay of “Splinter Cell.” The bassline starts off moody and sneaky, creeping along with strings and organ sounds for company, until the whole thing erupts into violence. It sounds like franchise hero Sam Fisher staking his prey, in only in awesome musical form.

5. “Passing Breeze”
“Out Run”
Hiroshi Miyauchi

Like long-running TV shows of the past, video game companies in the 1980s had house bands who’d do music for scores of titles coming out. They’d also do pop rock versions to be sold as tie-in merchandise for the games they accompanied. At Sega, there was the S.S.T. “Out Run” was the first game that let players choose their own accompaniments, a feature which helped make it a big hit. Sega’s classic driving game has seen several remakes and the music’s been updated, too, but I still prefer the synthy percussion of the initial arcade release. One tricky aspect of most video game music is that it has to loop back onto itself, because you’ll never know how long it takes a particular player to finish a stage or a mission. With a track as good as “Passing Breeze,” you can just set it in repeat and bask in its beachy groove. Perfect for top-down driving, even in real life.

6. “Still Alive”
“Portal”
Jonathan Coulton

With its sequel just out, it might be a little hard to remember just how mind-bending the spatial puzzles of the 2007 hit were. Shifting momentum and shunting from one platform to another time after time never got easier, especially with bitchy AI GLaDOS snarking at you all the way. That’s what made this credits song at the game’s end such a special reward. You get begrudging respect from GLaDOS and a hint that her death wasn’t as final as you thought, all done in retro-nerd ASCII style. Coulton’s song launched thousands of internet jokes, partially because it tapped in an awesome shared experience but also because it’s cute and funny, with a touch of loopy aggression, too.

7. “Que Sera, Sera”
“Katamari Damacy”
Written by Asuka Sakai, Performed by Charlie Kosei

A bizarre game needs a bizarre soundtrack and 2004’s “Katamari Damacy” got one in spades. The cult PS2 game has you rolling up stuff onto a giant sticky ball and the music you play alongside spans the range from Brazilian samba to dreamy electro-pop. While fans love the na-na-nahs of the game’s main theme, for me, “Que Sera, Sera” exemplifies the weird-cute vibe offered by Keita Takeshi’s masterpiece. It explains the loopy logic of the game mechanics in absolutely sincere lounge-act Engrish and hints at the beating heart of the game’s hero, the long-suffering Prince of All Cosmos, too.

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Hard Out

Comedy From The Closet

Janice and Jeffrey Available Now On IFC's Comedy Crib

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She’s been referred to as “the love child of Amy Sedaris and Tracy Ullman,” and he’s a self-described “Italian who knows how to cook a great spaghetti alla carbonara.” They’re Mollie Merkel and Matteo Lane, prolific indie comedians who blended their robust creative juices to bring us the new Comedy Crib series Janice and Jeffrey. Mollie and Matteo took time to answer our probing questions about their series and themselves. Here’s a taste.

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IFC: How would you describe Janice and Jeffrey to a fancy network executive you met in an elevator?

Mollie & Matteo: Janice and Jeffrey is about a married couple experiencing intimacy issues but who don’t have a clue it’s because they are gay. Their oblivion makes them even more endearing.  Their total lack of awareness provides for a buffet of comedy.

IFC: What’s your origin story? How did you two people meet and how long have you been working together?

Mollie: We met at a dive bar in Wrigley Field Chicago. It was a show called Entertaining Julie… It was a cool variety scene with lots of talented people. I was doing Janice one night and Matteo was doing an impression of Liza Minnelli. We sort of just fell in love with each other’s… ACT! Matteo made the first move and told me how much he loved Janice and I drove home feeling like I just met someone really special.

IFC: How would Janice describe Jeffrey?

Mollie: “He can paint, cook homemade Bolognese, and sing Opera. Not to mention he has a great body. He makes me feel empowered and free. He doesn’t suffocate me with attention so our love has room to breath.”

IFC: How would Jeffrey describe Janice?

Matteo: “Like a Ford. Built to last.”

IFC: Why do you think the world is ready for this series?

Mollie & Matteo: Our current political world is mirroring and reflecting this belief that homosexuality is wrong. So what better time for satire. Everyone is so pro gay and equal rights, which is of course what we want, too. But no one is looking at middle America and people actually in the closet. No one is saying, hey this is really painful and tragic, and sitting with that. Having compassion but providing the desperate relief of laughter…This seemed like the healthiest, best way to “fight” the gay rights “fight”.

IFC: Hummus is hilarious. Why is it so funny?

Mollie: It just seems like something people take really seriously, which is funny to me. I started to see it in a lot of lesbians’ refrigerators at a time. It’s like observing a lesbian in a comfortable shoe. It’s a language we speak. Pass the Hummus. Turn on the Indigo Girls would ya?

See the whole season of Janice and Jeffrey right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

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Die Hard Dads

Inspiration For Die Hard Dads

Die Hard is on IFC all Father's Day Long

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIPHY

Yippee ki-yay, everybody! It’s time to celebrate the those most literal of mother-effers: dads!

And just in case the title of this post left anything to the imagination, IFC is giving dads balls-to-the-wall ’80s treatment with a glorious marathon of action trailblazer Die Hard.

There are so many things we could say about Die Hard. We could talk about how it was comedian Bruce Willis’s first foray into action flicks, or Alan Rickman’s big screen debut. But dads don’t give a sh!t about that stuff.

No, dads just want to fantasize that they could be deathproof quip factory John McClane in their own mundane lives. So while you celebrate the fathers in your life, consider how John McClane would respond to these traditional “dad” moments…

Wedding Toasts

Dads always struggle to find the right words of welcome to extend to new family. John McClane, on the other hand, is the master of inclusivity.
Die Hard wedding

Using Public Restrooms

While nine out of ten dads would rather die than use a disgusting public bathroom, McClane isn’t bothered one bit. So long as he can fit a bloody foot in the sink, he’s G2G.
Die Hard restroom

Awkward Dancing

Because every dad needs a signature move.
Die Hard dance

Writing Thank You Notes

It can be hard for dads to express gratitude. Not only can McClane articulate his thanks, he makes it feel personal.
Die Hard thank you

Valentine’s Day

How would John McClane say “I heart you” in a way that ain’t cliche? The image speaks for itself.
Die Hard valentines

Shopping

The only thing most dads hate more than shopping is fielding eleventh-hour phone calls with additional items for the list. But does McClane throw a typical man-tantrum? Nope. He finds the words to express his feelings like a goddam adult.
Die Hard thank you

Last Minute Errands

John McClane knows when a fight isn’t worth fighting.
Die Hard errands

Sneaking Out Of The Office Early

What is this, high school? Make a real exit, dads.
Die Hard office

Think you or your dad could stand to be more like Bruce? Role model fodder abounds in the Die Hard marathon all Father’s Day long on IFC.

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Founding Farters

Know Your Nerd History

Revenge of the Nerds is on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIFs via Giphy

That we live in the heyday of nerds is no hot secret. Scientists are celebrities, musicians are robots and late night hosts can recite every word of the Silmarillion. It’s too easy to think that it’s always been this way. But the truth is we owe much to our nerd forebearers who toiled through the jock-filled ’80s so that we might take over the world.

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Our humble beginnings are perhaps best captured in iconic ’80s romp Revenge of the Nerds. Like the founding fathers of our Country, the titular nerds rose above their circumstances to culturally pave the way for every Colbert and deGrasse Tyson that we know and love today.

To make sure you’re in the know about our very important cultural roots, here’s a quick download of the vengeful nerds without whom our shameful stereotypes might never have evolved.

Lewis Skolnick

The George Washington of nerds whose unflappable optimism – even in the face of humiliating self-awareness – basically gave birth to the Geek Pride movement.

Gilbert Lowe

OK, this guy is wet blanket, but an important wet blanket. Think Aaron Burr to Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Hamilton. His glass-mostly-empty attitude is a galvanizing force for Lewis. Who knows if Lewis could have kept up his optimism without Lowe’s Debbie-Downer outlook?

Arnold Poindexter

A music nerd who, after a soft start (inside joke, you’ll get it later), came out of his shell and let his passion lead instead of his anxiety. If you played an instrument (specifically, electric violin), and you were a nerd, this was your patron saint.

Booger

A sex-loving, blunt-smoking, nose-picking guitar hero. If you don’t think he sounds like a classic nerd, you’re absolutely right. And that’s the whole point. Along with Lamar, he simultaneously expanded the definition of nerd and gave pre-existing nerds a twisted sort of cred by association.

Lamar Latrell

Black, gay, and a crazy good breakdancer. In other words, a total groundbreaker. He proved to the world that nerds don’t have a single mold, but are simply outcasts waiting for their moment.

Ogre

Exceedingly stupid, this dumbass was monumental because he (in a sequel) leaves the jocks to become a nerd. Totally unheard of back then. Now all jocks are basically nerds.

Well, there they are. Never forget that we stand on their shoulders.

Revenge of the Nerds is on IFC all month long.

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