DID YOU READ

Four Loko Cans and Several Loco Filmmakers at “The FP”

Four Loko Cans and Several Loco Filmmakers at “The FP” (photo)

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Last night’s screening of SXFantastic selection “The FP” at the Alamo Ritz began — as apparently all screenings of “The FP” begin — with a ceremonial Four Loko chug race: Crew members, including the brotherly directing team of Brandon and Jason Trost, versus audience members. It was a goofy mood-setter, and maybe a bit of a warning: to fully appreciate their movie you might need to be drunk and high.

“The FP” stands for Frazier Park, the area of California where the Brothers Trost hail from and which, if “The FP” is to believed, is perhaps the white trashiest place on earth. In the Trosts’ demented vision the FP is a post-apocalyptic wasteland where rival gangs from “The 245” and “The 248” battle for control of the area’s alcohol by playing Dance Dance Revolution. Whoever controls the booze controls the hobos, and whoever controls the hobos can keep the ducks in the park fed. And what is a town with ducks?

(Footage of the Four Loko races at “The FP”)

It’s that sort of movie, the kind that doesn’t make any sense and is damn proud of it. “The FP” looks like something high school kids make with their parents’ video camera on weekends, only in this case it was made by two professional filmmakers nearing their 30s — Brandon is a busy cinematographer whose next project is the “Ghost Rider” sequel — a fact that makes the film’s subterraneanly low-grade production values that much more charming. Though the film’s interiors are strewn with debris and broken tech, outdoor scenes show Frazier Park as a normal-looking American town with houses and cars and trees. It seems like the only people who realize society has collapsed and been replaced by a retro-futuristic hellhole are the main characters.

They include co-director Jason Trost as the none-too-coincidentally named J-Tro, an eyepatch-wearing Dance Dance master with his brother B-Tro. In a hysterical pre-credits sequence that plays like an avant-retarde version of the Drago-Apollo fight from “Rocky IV,” B-Tro falls at the hands of the evil L Dubba E (Lee Valmassy), prompting one of those classic shots where you hook a camera to a crane and shoot straight down at the actors as they look up and shout “NOOOOOO!” Some time later, J-Tro is walking the earth a la Rambo in “First Blood” when his old running buddy KCDC (Art Hsu) finds him and begs him to come back to The FP to save their turf from L Dubba E. When he returns, he finds his crush Stacy (Caitlyn Folley) in L Dubba E’s arms. What’s a one-eyed, mulletted, white boy dancer to do?

The joke is the sheer ludicrousness of it all, a world built on Dance Dance Revolution populated by redneck douches who talk in hip hop slang, fighting over the lamest turf ever for the sake of feeding some ducks. The whole point is that there is no point — just like most 80s action movies that take themselves far too seriously. And that joke works in the beginning, during the big DDR battle, but it begins to wear a bit thin during the middle act. I wasn’t surprised to hear to learn “The FP” started as a short film because that’s exactly what it feels like: a great one-joke short film expanded into an undercooked one-joke feature film. The Trosts expanded their running time, but not their repertoire of material.

It was around the halfway point of “The FP,” as the audience’s natural laughter began to die down, that I first noticed the forced laughs and loud comments from the filmmakers’ row of seats at the Alamo. The Trosts brought a bunch of their crew members out to South By Southwest to celebrate their premiere, and they were really into the movie. At times, they laughed at every line — even the ones that weren’t intended as jokes. One member of the group hooted and yelled and even heckled the film a few times, despite a constant rain of shushes from the folks around her. The longer that went on, the more “The FP” began to feel like a giant inside joke foisted on an unsuspecting audience and less like the inspired experimental film about macho stupidity it appeared to be in its early brilliant moments.

If the Trosts and their entourage wanted to disrupt their own movie, I suppose that’s their right. “The FP” is a confrontational film with intentionally crappy design; perhaps sabotaging their own debut is just another twist of their meta-meta filmmaking approach. The movie’s supposed to be crummy, so maybe we’re supposed to have a crummy time watching it too? In that case, they should have made everyone chug a can of Four Loko.

(An excerpt from the post-film Q&A)

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Hard Out

Comedy From The Closet

Janice and Jeffrey Available Now On IFC's Comedy Crib

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She’s been referred to as “the love child of Amy Sedaris and Tracy Ullman,” and he’s a self-described “Italian who knows how to cook a great spaghetti alla carbonara.” They’re Mollie Merkel and Matteo Lane, prolific indie comedians who blended their robust creative juices to bring us the new Comedy Crib series Janice and Jeffrey. Mollie and Matteo took time to answer our probing questions about their series and themselves. Here’s a taste.

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IFC: How would you describe Janice and Jeffrey to a fancy network executive you met in an elevator?

Mollie & Matteo: Janice and Jeffrey is about a married couple experiencing intimacy issues but who don’t have a clue it’s because they are gay. Their oblivion makes them even more endearing.  Their total lack of awareness provides for a buffet of comedy.

IFC: What’s your origin story? How did you two people meet and how long have you been working together?

Mollie: We met at a dive bar in Wrigley Field Chicago. It was a show called Entertaining Julie… It was a cool variety scene with lots of talented people. I was doing Janice one night and Matteo was doing an impression of Liza Minnelli. We sort of just fell in love with each other’s… ACT! Matteo made the first move and told me how much he loved Janice and I drove home feeling like I just met someone really special.

IFC: How would Janice describe Jeffrey?

Mollie: “He can paint, cook homemade Bolognese, and sing Opera. Not to mention he has a great body. He makes me feel empowered and free. He doesn’t suffocate me with attention so our love has room to breath.”

IFC: How would Jeffrey describe Janice?

Matteo: “Like a Ford. Built to last.”

IFC: Why do you think the world is ready for this series?

Mollie & Matteo: Our current political world is mirroring and reflecting this belief that homosexuality is wrong. So what better time for satire. Everyone is so pro gay and equal rights, which is of course what we want, too. But no one is looking at middle America and people actually in the closet. No one is saying, hey this is really painful and tragic, and sitting with that. Having compassion but providing the desperate relief of laughter…This seemed like the healthiest, best way to “fight” the gay rights “fight”.

IFC: Hummus is hilarious. Why is it so funny?

Mollie: It just seems like something people take really seriously, which is funny to me. I started to see it in a lot of lesbians’ refrigerators at a time. It’s like observing a lesbian in a comfortable shoe. It’s a language we speak. Pass the Hummus. Turn on the Indigo Girls would ya?

See the whole season of Janice and Jeffrey right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

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Die Hard Dads

Inspiration For Die Hard Dads

Die Hard is on IFC all Father's Day Long

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIPHY

Yippee ki-yay, everybody! It’s time to celebrate the those most literal of mother-effers: dads!

And just in case the title of this post left anything to the imagination, IFC is giving dads balls-to-the-wall ’80s treatment with a glorious marathon of action trailblazer Die Hard.

There are so many things we could say about Die Hard. We could talk about how it was comedian Bruce Willis’s first foray into action flicks, or Alan Rickman’s big screen debut. But dads don’t give a sh!t about that stuff.

No, dads just want to fantasize that they could be deathproof quip factory John McClane in their own mundane lives. So while you celebrate the fathers in your life, consider how John McClane would respond to these traditional “dad” moments…

Wedding Toasts

Dads always struggle to find the right words of welcome to extend to new family. John McClane, on the other hand, is the master of inclusivity.
Die Hard wedding

Using Public Restrooms

While nine out of ten dads would rather die than use a disgusting public bathroom, McClane isn’t bothered one bit. So long as he can fit a bloody foot in the sink, he’s G2G.
Die Hard restroom

Awkward Dancing

Because every dad needs a signature move.
Die Hard dance

Writing Thank You Notes

It can be hard for dads to express gratitude. Not only can McClane articulate his thanks, he makes it feel personal.
Die Hard thank you

Valentine’s Day

How would John McClane say “I heart you” in a way that ain’t cliche? The image speaks for itself.
Die Hard valentines

Shopping

The only thing most dads hate more than shopping is fielding eleventh-hour phone calls with additional items for the list. But does McClane throw a typical man-tantrum? Nope. He finds the words to express his feelings like a goddam adult.
Die Hard thank you

Last Minute Errands

John McClane knows when a fight isn’t worth fighting.
Die Hard errands

Sneaking Out Of The Office Early

What is this, high school? Make a real exit, dads.
Die Hard office

Think you or your dad could stand to be more like Bruce? Role model fodder abounds in the Die Hard marathon all Father’s Day long on IFC.

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Founding Farters

Know Your Nerd History

Revenge of the Nerds is on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIFs via Giphy

That we live in the heyday of nerds is no hot secret. Scientists are celebrities, musicians are robots and late night hosts can recite every word of the Silmarillion. It’s too easy to think that it’s always been this way. But the truth is we owe much to our nerd forebearers who toiled through the jock-filled ’80s so that we might take over the world.

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Our humble beginnings are perhaps best captured in iconic ’80s romp Revenge of the Nerds. Like the founding fathers of our Country, the titular nerds rose above their circumstances to culturally pave the way for every Colbert and deGrasse Tyson that we know and love today.

To make sure you’re in the know about our very important cultural roots, here’s a quick download of the vengeful nerds without whom our shameful stereotypes might never have evolved.

Lewis Skolnick

The George Washington of nerds whose unflappable optimism – even in the face of humiliating self-awareness – basically gave birth to the Geek Pride movement.

Gilbert Lowe

OK, this guy is wet blanket, but an important wet blanket. Think Aaron Burr to Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Hamilton. His glass-mostly-empty attitude is a galvanizing force for Lewis. Who knows if Lewis could have kept up his optimism without Lowe’s Debbie-Downer outlook?

Arnold Poindexter

A music nerd who, after a soft start (inside joke, you’ll get it later), came out of his shell and let his passion lead instead of his anxiety. If you played an instrument (specifically, electric violin), and you were a nerd, this was your patron saint.

Booger

A sex-loving, blunt-smoking, nose-picking guitar hero. If you don’t think he sounds like a classic nerd, you’re absolutely right. And that’s the whole point. Along with Lamar, he simultaneously expanded the definition of nerd and gave pre-existing nerds a twisted sort of cred by association.

Lamar Latrell

Black, gay, and a crazy good breakdancer. In other words, a total groundbreaker. He proved to the world that nerds don’t have a single mold, but are simply outcasts waiting for their moment.

Ogre

Exceedingly stupid, this dumbass was monumental because he (in a sequel) leaves the jocks to become a nerd. Totally unheard of back then. Now all jocks are basically nerds.

Well, there they are. Never forget that we stand on their shoulders.

Revenge of the Nerds is on IFC all month long.

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