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Remembering Elizabeth Taylor: “Cleopatra”

Remembering Elizabeth Taylor: “Cleopatra” (photo)

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Another Elizabeth Taylor film, another Elizabeth Taylor performance as a powerful woman. Through three of these columns so far, I’ve been struck repeatedly by Taylor’s fierce, feminist independence onscreen, first as a teenage girl who enters the greatest horserace in the country, and then later as a jilted wife who fights to reclaim her distracted husband. Now we come to 1963’s “Cleopatra” where she plays the famous Egyptian pharaoh who delights in making powerful men like Julius Caesar and Mark Antony kneel before her as a display of her superiority. As Taylor’s star grew, so did the stature of the women she played, until here she plays one of the most powerful people, man or woman, in world history.

Today the film is more infamous than famous. With a final budget of over $40 million — $300 million 2011 dollars — it was the most expensive film made to that date. And while the shoot dragged on for months during delays and reshoots and production relocations and directorial replacements and star illnesses, the married Taylor began an affair with her also married co-star, Richard Burton, sparking scandalous headlines around the world. The public’s curiosity about the couple helped “Cleopatra” eventually break even financially, but there’s little evidence of their passion in the finished film. The biggest tangible impact the two had on “Cleopatra” was its length; director Joseph L. Mankiewicz wanted to release the film in two three-hour halves: the first about Cleopatra and her relationship with Julius Caesar (Rex Harrison), the second with Burton’s Mark Antony. But with so much money on the line, and audience interest so focused on Taylor and Burton, Fox ordered Mankiewicz to combine his movies into one four-hour picture.

That was probably the right business decision but it was the wrong artistic one. At 243 grueling minutes, “Cleopatra” is an epic in length only. Save one complex naval battle, and the truly memorable arrival of Cleopatra in Rome to the adoration of thousands of peasants, the film is most a procession of scenes in which people in old timey clothes bark at one another about loyalty and respect and the gods. Mankiewicz’s structural preference is evident in the film’s shifting focus: its initial lead is Harrison’s Caesar, who comes to Egypt to settle a dispute between Cleopatra and her scheming brother, then stays after he’s bewitched by her beauty. Later he returns to Rome and she follows, just in time for a recreation of the Ides of March assassination (with that great Italian icon, Carroll O’Connor, as one of the conspirators!). After Caesar’s death, Cleopatra flees to Egypt; Antony then travels to Alexandria to request the queen’s assistance with a food shortage, which sparks their affair and mutual undoing.

There is one argument to make in favor of “Cleopatra”‘s Nile-like length. As it exists, “Cleopatra” is essentially an ode to bigness. It gives us a taste — more than a taste really, more like an enormous gorging — of Roman and Egyptian decadence, ancient civilizations that were apparently towering monuments to their own narcissism. With its gargantuan runtime and opulent production design, “Cleopatra” is essentially the exact same thing. You might even say that Hollywood, in all its bloated self-importance, and commitment to spreading its products around the world, is the true modern inheritor of Caesar and Cleopatra’s wasteful greed and imperialism.

Or maybe these are just the rambling thoughts a bored man considers while sitting through a four hour film. This movie has all the subtlety — not to mention all the authenticity — of a whoopee cushion fart. There’s not much else to consider, especially once Burton arrives as Mark Antony. Like so many legendary on-and-off screen romances, Burton and Taylor don’t live up to their sensationalistic reputation, at least not here (Taylor actually has much better chemistry with Rex Harrison). The pair share exactly one romantic moment, the one where — HISTORICAL SPOILER ALERT!! — Antony dies in Cleopatra’s arms, and he tells her, “You and I will prove death so much less than love.” Most of the rest of their scenes consist of Taylor sneering at Burton and Burton shouting at Taylor. A little glimpse into their home life, perhaps? Either way, it’s tiresome when repeated this often.

Their big, blustery one-note performances border on camp, and it’s easy to imagine “Cleopatra” having evolved into a cult classic, if only it wasn’t so goddamn long. It’s sort of kitschy fun to watch Taylor get regal Rex Harrison and barking Richard Burton to supplicate themselves at her feet, basking in the glory that is Liz. Plus her thick eye makeup and hair extensions, not to mention her general air of manic superficiality, kind of make her look look like the prototype for “Jersey Shore” star Snooki. Take a look:

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Though Cleopatra’s royal station fits Taylor’s tastes as an actress, the part doesn’t provide her enough opportunities to play the sort of scenes she does best: where she’s fierce and ferocious and feminine all at once. As Cleopatra, she lays about the palace, ordering people to fetch her things and run he baths. That’s not the Taylor we want to see. We want her to be powerful, not pampered. One line caught my ear, though. Preparing for her death, Cleopatra asks a servant to deliver a message to Octavian (Roddy McDowell), Caesar’s successor as Emperor of Rome. “Words are wasted on such a man,” the servant replies. “I’ve wasted so many on so many men,” Cleopatra says in response. More on this line, and on the metatextual interplay between Taylor and her most famous roles, in our next and final column.

Previous Remembering Elizabeth Taylor Columns
“National Velvet”
“Cat On a Hot Tin Roof”

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Millennial Wisdom

Charles Speaks For Us All

Get to know Charles, the social media whiz of Brockmire.

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He may be an unlikely radio producer Brockmire, but Charles is #1 when it comes to delivering quips that tie a nice little bow on the absurdity of any given situation.

Charles also perfectly captures the jaded outlook of Millennials. Or at least Millennials as mythologized by marketers and news idiots. You know who you are.

Played superbly by Tyrel Jackson Williams, Charles’s quippy nuggets target just about any subject matter, from entry-level jobs in social media (“I plan on getting some experience here, then moving to New York to finally start my life.”) to the ramifications of fictional celebrity hookups (“Drake and Taylor Swift are dating! Albums y’all!”). But where he really nails the whole Millennial POV thing is when he comments on America’s second favorite past-time after type II diabetes: baseball.

Here are a few pearls.

On Baseball’s Lasting Cultural Relevance

“Baseball’s one of those old-timey things you don’t need anymore. Like cursive. Or email.”

On The Dramatic Value Of Double-Headers

“The only thing dumber than playing two boring-ass baseball games in one day is putting a two-hour delay between the boring-ass games.”

On Sartorial Tradition

“Is dressing badly just a thing for baseball, because that would explain his jacket.”

On Baseball, In A Nutshell

“Baseball is a f-cked up sport, and I want you to know it.”


Learn more about Charles in the behind-the-scenes video below.

And if you were born before the late ’80s and want to know what the kids think about Baseball, watch Brockmire Wednesdays at 10P on IFC.

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Crown Jules

Amanda Peet FTW on Brockmire

Amanda Peet brings it on Brockmire Wednesday at 10P on IFC.

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GIFS via Giphy

On Brockmire, Jules is the unexpected yin to Jim Brockmire’s yang. Which is saying a lot, because Brockmire’s yang is way out there. Played by Amanda Peet, Jules is hard-drinking, truth-spewing, baseball-loving…everything Brockmire is, and perhaps what he never expected to encounter in another human.

“We’re the same level of functional alcoholic.”


But Jules takes that commonality and transforms it into something special: a new beginning. A new beginning for failing minor league baseball team “The Frackers”, who suddenly about-face into a winning streak; and a new beginning for Brockmire, whose life gets a jumpstart when Jules lures him back to baseball. As for herself, her unexpected connection with Brockmire gives her own life a surprising and much needed goose.

“You’re a Goddamn Disaster and you’re starting To look good to me.”

This palpable dynamic adds depth and complexity to the narrative and pushes the series far beyond expected comedy. See for yourself in this behind-the-scenes video (and brace yourself for a unforgettable description of Brockmire’s genitals)…

Want more about Amanda Peet? She’s all over the place, and has even penned a recent self-reflective piece in the New York Times.

And of course you can watch the Jim-Jules relationship hysterically unfold in new episodes of Brockmire, every Wednesday at 10PM on IFC.

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Draught Pick

Sam Adams “Keeps It Brockmire”

All New Brockmire airs Wednesdays at 10P on IFC.

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From baseball to beer, Jim Brockmire calls ’em like he sees ’em.

via GIPHY

It’s no wonder at all, then, that Sam Adams would reach out to Brockmire to be their shockingly-honest (and inevitably short-term) new spokesperson. Unscripted and unrestrained, he’ll talk straight about Sam—and we’ll take his word. Check out this new testimonial for proof:

See more Brockmire Wednesdays at 10P on IFC, presented by Samuel Adams. Good f***** beer.

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