DID YOU READ

To Review Early Or Not, in Theater and Film

To Review Early Or Not, in Theater and Film (photo)

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In theater, the show must go on. But the previews typically stop at some point. For “Spider-Man: Turn off the Dark” — a.k.a. “Spider-Man: The Musical,” a.k.a. “Spider-Man: In Retrospect, Maybe We Should Have Used Safety Nets” — that point has come and gone at least three times already. A December 21 opening became a January 11 opening became a February 7 opening became a March 15 opening. Producers claim this will be final opening date. Uh huh. People used to claim bloodletting was a cure for pneumonia, too.

Speaking of bloodletting, many theater critics decided enough was enough with the delays and published their “Spider-Man” reviews last night in conjunction with the most recent missed opening. This, in turn, prompted public frustration from the show’s producing team. Associated Press quotes Rick Miramontez, a Spider-(spokes)Man saying:

“This pile-on by the critics is a huge disappointment… changes are still being made and any review that runs before the show is frozen is totally invalid.”

Invalidating negative reviews is like a publicists super-power. Miramontez is referring to the fact that during preview performances, Broadway shows are still considered works in progress; director Julie Taymor and composers Bono and The Edge are still tinkering with “Spider-Man”‘s book and music and testing its complicated aerial effects. So if you saw “Spider-Man” on December 20 it could look very different than it will on March 15 — and not just because someone almost fell to their death that night. As a result, it’s customary in the world of theater criticism to review a show during its final previews and then publish on the day of opening. In this case, though, several critics — including The New York Times‘ Ben Brantley and New York‘s Scott Brown — decided to publish early. Here was Brantley’s stated rationale:

“I would like to acknowledge here that ‘Spider-Man’ doesn’t officially open until March 15; at least that’s the last date I heard. But since this show was looking as if it might settle into being an unending work in progress — with Ms. Taymor playing Michelangelo to her notion of a Sistine Chapel on Broadway — my editors and I decided I might as well check out ‘Spider-Man’ around Monday, the night it was supposed to have opened before its latest postponement.”

We already established the producers’ argument: we’re still working on this show, it’s unfair to judge it yet. But as critics have correctly pointed out, it may also be unfair to charge customers full price for an unfinished work. Plus, the producers have a clear financial incentive to stay in previews for as long as humanly possible. As “Spider-Man” continued one the longest preview periods in Broadway history, people continued to pay up to $275 a ticket to watch the Actors’ Equity Demolition Derby. A few weeks ago, “Spider-Man” was the highest grossing show in New York. More previews means putting off the inevitable reviews (and the inevitably bad reviews) which means more uninformed theatergoers and more money. Plus, for a show this plagued with problems, a preview — with its promise of technical snafus and flubs — is almost more enticing than a real performance. If something goes wrong, you get to say you were there when it did.

Theater critics’ tradition of reviewing a show on its official opening makes a certain amount of sense from a historical perspective. But it also makes little to no sense in a time when social media has given every potential “Spider-Man” audience member a voice with which to critique the show. As old media sat on their hands, regular theatergoers stole their thunder. And, hey “Spider-Man” producers broke with tradition, too. After all, it’s not traditional to spend four months on Broadway in previews.

The folks who made “Spider-Man” might be pissed off, but the reality of the theater world is reviews do matter, in a way they rarely do in film anymore. A good theater review in The New York Times can still make or break a musical in a way that a good film review in The New York Times can’t in 99% of circumstances. So it’s hard to imagine Ben Brantley being “punished” for publishing an early review. Broadway still needs its critics.

Film doesn’t. These days film publicists routinely give critics “embargo” dates, which a writer breaks at their own peril. Publishing early can get you kicked off press invite lists and cost you your access to talent for interviews. Some press screening invitations now come with warnings not to post any comments, no matter how informal, on Facebook or Twitter as well. It’s hard not to derive a “you-need-us-way-more-than-we-need-you” sort of message from all of that. And it’s probably true, too.

Given the fact that the “Spider-Man” producers are just “upset” and not “furious over a broken embargo,” I’m going to assume Brantley and the rest paid for their “Turn off the Dark” tickets like any other curious New Yorker. In which case, tradition be damned. You pay your money, you’re entitled to an opinion, and if you have an outlet for that opening, more power to you. Despite the bad reviews, the show will go on. Break a leg, guys.

Wait, on second though, don’t. Be extremely, extremely careful.

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Hard Out

Comedy From The Closet

Janice and Jeffrey Available Now On IFC's Comedy Crib

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She’s been referred to as “the love child of Amy Sedaris and Tracy Ullman,” and he’s a self-described “Italian who knows how to cook a great spaghetti alla carbonara.” They’re Mollie Merkel and Matteo Lane, prolific indie comedians who blended their robust creative juices to bring us the new Comedy Crib series Janice and Jeffrey. Mollie and Matteo took time to answer our probing questions about their series and themselves. Here’s a taste.

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IFC: How would you describe Janice and Jeffrey to a fancy network executive you met in an elevator?

Mollie & Matteo: Janice and Jeffrey is about a married couple experiencing intimacy issues but who don’t have a clue it’s because they are gay. Their oblivion makes them even more endearing.  Their total lack of awareness provides for a buffet of comedy.

IFC: What’s your origin story? How did you two people meet and how long have you been working together?

Mollie: We met at a dive bar in Wrigley Field Chicago. It was a show called Entertaining Julie… It was a cool variety scene with lots of talented people. I was doing Janice one night and Matteo was doing an impression of Liza Minnelli. We sort of just fell in love with each other’s… ACT! Matteo made the first move and told me how much he loved Janice and I drove home feeling like I just met someone really special.

IFC: How would Janice describe Jeffrey?

Mollie: “He can paint, cook homemade Bolognese, and sing Opera. Not to mention he has a great body. He makes me feel empowered and free. He doesn’t suffocate me with attention so our love has room to breath.”

IFC: How would Jeffrey describe Janice?

Matteo: “Like a Ford. Built to last.”

IFC: Why do you think the world is ready for this series?

Mollie & Matteo: Our current political world is mirroring and reflecting this belief that homosexuality is wrong. So what better time for satire. Everyone is so pro gay and equal rights, which is of course what we want, too. But no one is looking at middle America and people actually in the closet. No one is saying, hey this is really painful and tragic, and sitting with that. Having compassion but providing the desperate relief of laughter…This seemed like the healthiest, best way to “fight” the gay rights “fight”.

IFC: Hummus is hilarious. Why is it so funny?

Mollie: It just seems like something people take really seriously, which is funny to me. I started to see it in a lot of lesbians’ refrigerators at a time. It’s like observing a lesbian in a comfortable shoe. It’s a language we speak. Pass the Hummus. Turn on the Indigo Girls would ya?

See the whole season of Janice and Jeffrey right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

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Die Hard Dads

Inspiration For Die Hard Dads

Die Hard is on IFC all Father's Day Long

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIPHY

Yippee ki-yay, everybody! It’s time to celebrate the those most literal of mother-effers: dads!

And just in case the title of this post left anything to the imagination, IFC is giving dads balls-to-the-wall ’80s treatment with a glorious marathon of action trailblazer Die Hard.

There are so many things we could say about Die Hard. We could talk about how it was comedian Bruce Willis’s first foray into action flicks, or Alan Rickman’s big screen debut. But dads don’t give a sh!t about that stuff.

No, dads just want to fantasize that they could be deathproof quip factory John McClane in their own mundane lives. So while you celebrate the fathers in your life, consider how John McClane would respond to these traditional “dad” moments…

Wedding Toasts

Dads always struggle to find the right words of welcome to extend to new family. John McClane, on the other hand, is the master of inclusivity.
Die Hard wedding

Using Public Restrooms

While nine out of ten dads would rather die than use a disgusting public bathroom, McClane isn’t bothered one bit. So long as he can fit a bloody foot in the sink, he’s G2G.
Die Hard restroom

Awkward Dancing

Because every dad needs a signature move.
Die Hard dance

Writing Thank You Notes

It can be hard for dads to express gratitude. Not only can McClane articulate his thanks, he makes it feel personal.
Die Hard thank you

Valentine’s Day

How would John McClane say “I heart you” in a way that ain’t cliche? The image speaks for itself.
Die Hard valentines

Shopping

The only thing most dads hate more than shopping is fielding eleventh-hour phone calls with additional items for the list. But does McClane throw a typical man-tantrum? Nope. He finds the words to express his feelings like a goddam adult.
Die Hard thank you

Last Minute Errands

John McClane knows when a fight isn’t worth fighting.
Die Hard errands

Sneaking Out Of The Office Early

What is this, high school? Make a real exit, dads.
Die Hard office

Think you or your dad could stand to be more like Bruce? Role model fodder abounds in the Die Hard marathon all Father’s Day long on IFC.

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Founding Farters

Know Your Nerd History

Revenge of the Nerds is on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIFs via Giphy

That we live in the heyday of nerds is no hot secret. Scientists are celebrities, musicians are robots and late night hosts can recite every word of the Silmarillion. It’s too easy to think that it’s always been this way. But the truth is we owe much to our nerd forebearers who toiled through the jock-filled ’80s so that we might take over the world.

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Our humble beginnings are perhaps best captured in iconic ’80s romp Revenge of the Nerds. Like the founding fathers of our Country, the titular nerds rose above their circumstances to culturally pave the way for every Colbert and deGrasse Tyson that we know and love today.

To make sure you’re in the know about our very important cultural roots, here’s a quick download of the vengeful nerds without whom our shameful stereotypes might never have evolved.

Lewis Skolnick

The George Washington of nerds whose unflappable optimism – even in the face of humiliating self-awareness – basically gave birth to the Geek Pride movement.

Gilbert Lowe

OK, this guy is wet blanket, but an important wet blanket. Think Aaron Burr to Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Hamilton. His glass-mostly-empty attitude is a galvanizing force for Lewis. Who knows if Lewis could have kept up his optimism without Lowe’s Debbie-Downer outlook?

Arnold Poindexter

A music nerd who, after a soft start (inside joke, you’ll get it later), came out of his shell and let his passion lead instead of his anxiety. If you played an instrument (specifically, electric violin), and you were a nerd, this was your patron saint.

Booger

A sex-loving, blunt-smoking, nose-picking guitar hero. If you don’t think he sounds like a classic nerd, you’re absolutely right. And that’s the whole point. Along with Lamar, he simultaneously expanded the definition of nerd and gave pre-existing nerds a twisted sort of cred by association.

Lamar Latrell

Black, gay, and a crazy good breakdancer. In other words, a total groundbreaker. He proved to the world that nerds don’t have a single mold, but are simply outcasts waiting for their moment.

Ogre

Exceedingly stupid, this dumbass was monumental because he (in a sequel) leaves the jocks to become a nerd. Totally unheard of back then. Now all jocks are basically nerds.

Well, there they are. Never forget that we stand on their shoulders.

Revenge of the Nerds is on IFC all month long.

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