Guts Before Six Packs: Why Flab Is Funny

Guts Before Six Packs: Why Flab Is Funny (photo)

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Two movies I saw in the last couple weeks threw something into relief for me: comic leading men are in danger of getting too buff to be funny. Let me explain why. The movies in question were last year’s “Going the Distance” and the just-released “Cedar Rapids.” Both try to wring laughs from uncomfortable situations involving heroes in the nude. One works, and one doesn’t.

In “Going the Distance,” Justin Long plays Garrett, a music executive with a long distance girlfriend named Erin (Drew Barrymore). In preparation for their first date in months, he decides to get a spray tan for the first time in his life. A disinterested attendant shoves Garrett into a private tanning room, but her vague instructions aren’t enough. When the spray machine begins to start on its own, Garrett freaks out. He’s not quite ready for his tan — is he supposed to wear his underwear during the spray or not? — which gives us the scene’s punchline: Long, in his birthday suit, covering his junk and his butt with his hands, screaming for help and freaking out about how terrible the tanning spew tastes.

“Cedar Rapids” stars Ed Helms as Tim Lippe, a sheltered insurance agent from Wisconsin who’s sent by his boss to represent his company at an insurance conference. The man he particularly needs to schmooze is conference president Orin Helgesson (Kurtwood Smith), who determines the winner the prestigious “2 Diamonds Award.” After a workout in his hotel’s fitness center, Tim bumps into Helgesson coming out of the locker room shower. Helgesson loses his towel so Lippe does likewise. Hence our punchline: an entire conversation between these two totally naked men about everything in the world except the fact that they’re naked.

Like I said: similar scenes. But the one in “Cedar Rapids” is funny and the one in “Going the Distance” is not. There are a couple of differences between these two sequences, but none greater than the fact than Helms and Smith are schlubby and unshapely while Long is buff.

There are some genres in which big muscles and proper physical grooming are important: action films, probably; porn, definitely. Not comedy. There isn’t anything funny about muscles unless you use them to make fun of the humorlessness of people with muscles (see: Ben Stiller as jacked movie star Tugg Speedman in “Tropic Thunder”). Long’s muscles aren’t there for meta commentary; they’re there, I suspect, because he had a couple of nude scenes in the film and he wanted to look good in them. That’s both totally understandable and totally antithetical to physical comedy, the art of being funny while looking stupid.

Long committed a cardinal comedy sin: putting vanity ahead of stupidity. Even if we ignore the fact that a record executive who never goes to the gym shouldn’t look like a Chippendales dancer, the scene should be funny because Garrett is so uncomfortable in this alien environment. But without his clothes, Long looks like exactly the sort of body-conscious meathead who knows his way around a tanning salon. And he’s already pretty bronze before he hits spray.

A comedian’s body should be his weapon, not his shield. Will Ferrell runs marathons, but not when he’s doing body humor in one of his films because when he streaks down the road, it’s a lot funnier if he doesn’t look like a marathon runner. That’s why the comparable scene in “Cedar Rapids” gets so many more laughs. Even though we actually do see Tim Lippe working out, his body still looks like that of a regular guy: saggy and undefined. Helms’ physique is an endearing sight. It fits the character, and it enhances the delightful awkwardness of his nude confrontation with Kurtwood Smith, whose body is even more saggy, even more undefinned, even more covered in scraggly, unsightly hair. As a general rule of comedy, any aspect of the human body that can be described as “unsightly” is funny.

I’m not blaming Justin Long here; he’s good in the rest of “Going the Distance.” I’m merely using him as an example of an ongoing change among comic leading men. Sure we’ve always had handsome comedians — Cary Grant was good looking and funny. And I’m well aware that a big part of the pleasure of movies is the pleasure of looking at pretty things. That’s why we have movie stars. But the pleasure of pretty is not always compatible with the pleasure of funny. And as more and more fitness-obsessed leading men rush to get into incredible physical shape, the kind that’s unattainable for anyone who doesn’t have a trainer, a nutritionist, and four assistants, they get further away from the core values that make them funny. Visualize the Justin Long tanning scene with a young, scrawny, pasty Woody Allen and you see what I’m talking about.

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Millennial Wisdom

Charles Speaks For Us All

Get to know Charles, the social media whiz of Brockmire.

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He may be an unlikely radio producer Brockmire, but Charles is #1 when it comes to delivering quips that tie a nice little bow on the absurdity of any given situation.

Charles also perfectly captures the jaded outlook of Millennials. Or at least Millennials as mythologized by marketers and news idiots. You know who you are.

Played superbly by Tyrel Jackson Williams, Charles’s quippy nuggets target just about any subject matter, from entry-level jobs in social media (“I plan on getting some experience here, then moving to New York to finally start my life.”) to the ramifications of fictional celebrity hookups (“Drake and Taylor Swift are dating! Albums y’all!”). But where he really nails the whole Millennial POV thing is when he comments on America’s second favorite past-time after type II diabetes: baseball.

Here are a few pearls.

On Baseball’s Lasting Cultural Relevance

“Baseball’s one of those old-timey things you don’t need anymore. Like cursive. Or email.”

On The Dramatic Value Of Double-Headers

“The only thing dumber than playing two boring-ass baseball games in one day is putting a two-hour delay between the boring-ass games.”

On Sartorial Tradition

“Is dressing badly just a thing for baseball, because that would explain his jacket.”

On Baseball, In A Nutshell

“Baseball is a f-cked up sport, and I want you to know it.”

Learn more about Charles in the behind-the-scenes video below.

And if you were born before the late ’80s and want to know what the kids think about Baseball, watch Brockmire Wednesdays at 10P on IFC.

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Crown Jules

Amanda Peet FTW on Brockmire

Amanda Peet brings it on Brockmire Wednesday at 10P on IFC.

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GIFS via Giphy

On Brockmire, Jules is the unexpected yin to Jim Brockmire’s yang. Which is saying a lot, because Brockmire’s yang is way out there. Played by Amanda Peet, Jules is hard-drinking, truth-spewing, baseball-loving…everything Brockmire is, and perhaps what he never expected to encounter in another human.

“We’re the same level of functional alcoholic.”

But Jules takes that commonality and transforms it into something special: a new beginning. A new beginning for failing minor league baseball team “The Frackers”, who suddenly about-face into a winning streak; and a new beginning for Brockmire, whose life gets a jumpstart when Jules lures him back to baseball. As for herself, her unexpected connection with Brockmire gives her own life a surprising and much needed goose.

“You’re a Goddamn Disaster and you’re starting To look good to me.”

This palpable dynamic adds depth and complexity to the narrative and pushes the series far beyond expected comedy. See for yourself in this behind-the-scenes video (and brace yourself for a unforgettable description of Brockmire’s genitals)…

Want more about Amanda Peet? She’s all over the place, and has even penned a recent self-reflective piece in the New York Times.

And of course you can watch the Jim-Jules relationship hysterically unfold in new episodes of Brockmire, every Wednesday at 10PM on IFC.

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Draught Pick

Sam Adams “Keeps It Brockmire”

All New Brockmire airs Wednesdays at 10P on IFC.

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From baseball to beer, Jim Brockmire calls ’em like he sees ’em.


It’s no wonder at all, then, that Sam Adams would reach out to Brockmire to be their shockingly-honest (and inevitably short-term) new spokesperson. Unscripted and unrestrained, he’ll talk straight about Sam—and we’ll take his word. Check out this new testimonial for proof:

See more Brockmire Wednesdays at 10P on IFC, presented by Samuel Adams. Good f***** beer.

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