My desire to post this song parody is exceeded only by my need to apologize for posting it. Obviously, this is not news. And, in fact, the song contains so many insider references to specific details of the game and gamer jargon as to make it almost meaningless to the casual listener. But it’s just so charmingly goofy. And it’s so unabashedly earnest. And Toto, really? How old is this guy? Enjoy.
I hear a gunshot echo in the night
It’s quiet here on Nelson Bay when wookies get their camp on
I take him out with my 4x Noob sight But he’ll be back
To piss me off as soon as he can respawn
I see a camping asshole in our base
Waiting to steal our chopper so he can fly around and rape us
I take my engineer kit in my hand and say
Hurry Boys! The Hind is after you!
Gonna take more than Black Ops to drive me away from you
Ain’t nothing that a million C4 Whores could ever do
Let’s bring the pain down in Arica
While we’re at it let’s tear them a new one on Port Valdez Too
Gonna squad up and play some rush tonight
Hoping to find a lobby that isn’t mostly full of douchebags
C4 on the UAV ain’t right, If that’s their plan
We’ll raid their base and steal the driver’s dog tags
Better fall back ’cause victory’s in sight
Hurry Boys! The Tank is after you!
Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.
Posted by Ben Cochran on GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection
It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:
Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.
Breakfast In Bed
Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.
You’ll need them to get through the holidays.
So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).
With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.
Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…
Most people measure time in minutes, hours, days, years…At IFC, we measure it in sketches. And nothing takes us way (waaaaaay) back like Portlandia sketches. Yes, there’s a Portlandia milepost from every season that changed the way we think, behave, and pickle things. In honor of Portlandia’s 8th and final season, Subaru presents a few of our favorites.
Sisters Weekend isn’t like other comedy groups. It’s filmmaking collaboration between besties Angelo Balassone, Michael Fails and Kat Tadesco, self-described lace-front addicts with great legs who write, direct, design and produce video sketches and cinematic shorts that are so surreally hilarious that they defy categorization. One such short film, Celebrity All-Star, is the newest addition to IFC’s Comedy Crib. Here’s what they had to say about it in a very personal email interview…
IFC: How would you describe Celebrity All-Star to a fancy network executive you just met in an elevator?
Celebrity All-Star is a short film about an overworked reality TV coordinator struggling to save her one night off after the cast of C-List celebrities she wrangles gets locked out of their hotel rooms.
IFC: How would you describe Celebrity All-Star to a drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?
Sisters Weekend: It’s this short we made for IFC where a talent coordinator named Karen babysits a bunch of weird c-list celebs who are stuck in a hotel bar. It’s everyone you hate from reality TV under one roof – and that roof leaks because it’s a 2-star hotel. There’s a magician, sexy cowboys, and a guy wearing a belt that sucks up his farts.
IFC: What was the genesis of Celebrity All-Star?
Celebrity All-Star was born from our love of embarrassing celebrities. We love a good c-lister in need of a paycheck! We were really interested in the canned politeness people give off when forced to mingle with strangers. The backstory we created is that the cast of this reality show called “Celebrity All-Star” is in the middle of a mandatory round of “get to know each other” drinks in the hotel bar when the room keys stop working. Shows like Celebrity Ghost Hunters and of course The Surreal Life were of inspo, but we thought it
was funny to keep it really vague what kind of show they’re on, and just focus on everyone’s diva antics after the cameras stop rolling.
IFC: Every celebrity in Celebrity All-Star seems familiar. What real-life pop personalities did you look to for inspiration?
Sisters Weekend: Anyone who is trying to plug their branded merch that no one asked for. We love low-rent celebrity. We did, however, directly reference Kylie Jenner’s turd-raison lip color for our fictional teen celebutante Gibby Kyle (played by Mary Houlihan).
IFC: Celebrity seems disgusting yet desirable. What’s your POV? Do you crave it, hate it, or both?
Sisters Weekend: A lot of people chase fame. If you’re practical, you’ll likely switch to chasing success and if you’re smart, you’ll hopefully switch to chasing happiness. But also, “We need money. We need hits. Hits bring money, money bring power, power bring fame, fame change the game,” Young Thug.
IFC: Who are your comedy idols?
Sisters Weekend: Mike grew up renting “Monty Python” tapes from the library and staying up late to watch 2000’s SNL, Kat was super into Andy Kaufman and “Kids In The Hall” in high school, and Angelo was heavily influenced by “Strangers With Candy” and Anna Faris in the Scary Movie franchise, so, our comedy heroes mesh from all over. But, also we idolize a lot of the people we work with in NY- Lorelei Ramirez, Erin Markey, Mary Houlihan, who are all in the film, Amy Zimmer, Ana Fabrega, Patti Harrison, Sam Taggart. Geniuses! All of Em!
IFC: What’s your favorite moment from the film?
Sisters Weekend: I mean…seeing Mary Houlihan scream at an insane Pomeranian on an iPad is pretty great.
See Sisters Weekend right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib