DID YOU READ

And the 2011 Razzies Nominees Are…

And the 2011 Razzies Nominees Are… (photo)

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Thirty-one years on, the Golden Rasberry Awards — a.k.a. the Razzies, the infamous awards for the worst movies of the year — remain a shockingly ramshackle operation. Their website looks like it’s from CompuServe circia 1995, and their official nominations announcements is rife with typos (unless they called “Sex and the City 2” “Sex & The City #2” just to throw in a sideways this-movie-is-shit joke, which, given the Razzies’ sense of humor, is entirely possible).

This remains part of the Razzies’ charm and a secret to their endurance. They’ve positioned themselves Hollywood’s bullshit detector; if they’d sold out to corporate sponsors that “We’re just passionate movie lovers, defending what we love” angle would be a lot tougher to maintain. And it lets them have some fun with their awards, too. Nobody else would give a Worst Screen Couple nomination for the wretched “Jonah Hex” to “Josh Brolin’s Face and Megan Fox’s Accent.” They deserve it, too.

If there’s one problem with the Razzies it’s this: they tend to pile on media punching bags regardless of their merit (or lack of merit, I guess). You see that this year with all the nominations for “The Twilight Saga: Eclipse,” a film that’s boring, certainly, but not nearly as much of a trainwreck as the aforementioned “Jonah Hex.” Similarly, in the rush to give the admittedly putrid “The Last Airbender” as many nominations as possible, they’ve thrown it in the Worst Prequel, Remake, Rip-Off or Sequel category. But “Airbender,” based on an animated series, is none of those things. Basically they just do whatever the heck they want.

(Is it weird that I’d like more purity in awards for bad movies? It’s weird, right? I’m sorry. I take bad movies very seriously.)

Anyway, here’s the full list of nominees, with the aforementioned “Eclipse” and “Airbender” leading all films with nine nominations each. The losers will be announced at a ceremony on Saturday, February 26, one day before the Academy Awards.

Worst Picture
“The Bounty Hunter”
“The Last Airbender”
“Sex and the City 2”
“The Twilight Saga: Eclipse”
“Vampires Suck”

Worst Actor
Jack Black, “Gulliver’s Travels”
Gerard Butler, “The Bounty Hunter”
Ashton Kutcher, “Killers” and “Valentine’s Day”
Taylor Lautner, “The Twilight Saga: Eclipse” and “Valentine’s Day
Robert Pattinson, “Remember Me” and “The Twilight Saga: Eclipse”

Worst Actress
Jennifer Aniston, “The Bounty Hunter” and “The Switch”
Miley Cyrus, “The Last Song”
Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis, Cynthia Nixon, “Sex and the City 2”
Megan Fox, “Jonah Hex”
Kristen Stewart, “The Twilight Saga: Eclipse”

Worst Supporting Actor
Billy Ray Cyrus, “The Spy Next Door”
George Lopez, “Marmaduke,” “The Spy Next Door” and “Valentine’s Day”
Dev Patel, “The Last Airbender”
Jackson Rathbone, “The Last Airbender” and “The Twilight Saga: Eclipse”
Rob Schneider, “Grown Ups”

Worst Supporting Actress
Jessica Alba, “The Killer Inside Me,” “Little Fockers,” “Machete” and “Valentine’s Day”
Cher, “Burlesque”
Liza Minnelli, “Sex and the City 2”
Nicola Peltz, “The Last Airbender”
Barbra Streisand, “Little Fockers”

Worst Eye-Gouging Mis-Use of 3D
“Cats & Dogs 2: Revenge of Kitty Galore”
“Clash of the Titans”
“The Last Airbender”
“The Nutcracker in 3-D”
“Saw 3D”

Worst Screen Couple or Ensemble
Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler, “The Bounty Hunter”
Josh Brolin’s Face and Megan Fox’s Accent, “Jonah Hex”
The Entire Cast of “The Last Airbender”
The Entire Cast of “Sex and the City 2”
The Entire Cast of “The Twilight Saga: Eclipse”

Worst Director
Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, “Vampires Suck”
Michael Patrick King, “Sex and the City 2”
M. Night Shyamalan, “The Last Airbender”
David Slade, “The Twilight Saga: Eclipse”
Sylvester Stallone, “The Expendables”

Worst Screenplay
M. Night Shyamalan, “The Last Airbender”
John Hamburg and Larry Stuckey, “Little Fockers”
Michael Patrick King, “Sex and the City 2”
Melissa Rosenberg, “Twilight Saga: Eclipse”
Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, “Vampires Suck”

Worst Prequel, Remake, Rip-Off or Sequel
“Clash Of The Titans”
“The Last Airbender”
“Sex and the City 2”
“The Twilight Saga: Eclipse”
“Vampires Suck”

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New Nasty

Whips, Chains and Hand Sanitizer

Turn On The Full Season Of Neurotica At IFC's Comedy Crib

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Jenny Jaffe has a lot going on: She’s writing for Disney’s upcoming Big Hero 6: The Series, developing comedy projects with pals at Devastator Press, and she’s straddling the line between S&M and OCD as the creator and star of the sexyish new series Neurotica, which has just made its debut on IFC’s Comedy Crib. Jenny gave us some extremely intimate insight into what makes Neurotica (safely) sizzle…

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IFC: How would you describe Neurotica to a fancy network executive you met in an elevator?

Jenny: Neurotica is about a plucky Dominatrix with OCD trying to save her small-town dungeon. 

IFC: How would you describe Neurotica to a drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?

Jenny: Neurotica is about a plucky Dominatrix with OCD trying to save her small-town dungeon. You’re great. We should get coffee sometime. I’m not just saying that. I know other people just say that sometimes but I really feel like we’re going to be friends, you know? Here, what’s your number, I’ll call you so you can have my number! 

IFC: What’s your comedy origin story?

Jenny: Since I was a kid I’ve dealt with severe OCD and anxiety. Comedy has always been one of the ways I’ve dealt with that. I honestly just want to help make people feel happy for a few minutes at a time. 

IFC: What was the genesis of Neurotica?

Jenny: I’m pretty sure it was a title-first situation. I was coming up with ideas to pitch to a production company a million years ago (this isn’t hyperbole; I am VERY old) and just wrote down “Neurotica”; then it just sort of appeared fully formed. “Neurotica? Oh it’s an over-the-top romantic comedy about a Dominatrix with OCD, of course.” And that just happened to hit the buttons of everything I’m fascinated by. 

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IFC: How would you describe Ivy?

Jenny: Ivy is everything I love in a comedy character – she’s tenacious, she’s confident, she’s sweet, she’s a big wonderful weirdo. 

IFC: How would Ivy’s clientele describe her?

Jenny:  Open-minded, caring, excellent aim. 

IFC: Why don’t more small towns have local dungeons?

Jenny: How do you know they don’t? 

IFC: What are the pros and cons of joining a chain mega dungeon?

Jenny: You can use any of their locations but you’ll always forget you have a membership and in a year you’ll be like “jeez why won’t they let me just cancel?” 

IFC: Mouths are gross! Why is that?

Jenny: If you had never seen a mouth before and I was like “it’s a wet flesh cave with sharp parts that lives in your face”, it would sound like Cronenberg-ian body horror. All body parts are horrifying. I’m kind of rooting for the singularity, I’d feel way better if I was just a consciousness in a cloud. 

See the whole season of Neurotica right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

The-Craft

The ’90s Are Back

The '90s live again during IFC's weekend marathon.

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Photo Credit: Everett Digital, Columbia Pictures

We know what you’re thinking: “Why on Earth would anyone want to reanimate the decade that gave us Haddaway, Los Del Rio, and Smash Mouth, not to mention Crystal Pepsi?”

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Thoughts like those are normal. After all, we tend to remember lasting psychological trauma more vividly than fleeting joy. But if you dig deep, you’ll rediscover that the ’90s gave us so much to fondly revisit. Consider the four pillars of true ’90s culture.

Boy Bands

We all pretended to hate them, but watch us come alive at a karaoke bar when “I Want It That Way” comes on. Arguably more influential than Brit Pop and Grunge put together, because hello – Justin Timberlake. He’s a legitimate cultural gem.

Man-Child Movies

Adam Sandler is just behind The Simpsons in terms of his influence on humor. Somehow his man-child schtick didn’t get old until the aughts, and his success in that arena ushered in a wave of other man-child movies from fellow ’90s comedians. RIP Chris Farley (and WTF Rob Schneider).

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Teen Angst

In horror, dramas, comedies, and everything in between: Troubled teens! Getting into trouble! Who couldn’t relate to their First World problems, plaid flannels, and lose grasp of the internet?

Mainstream Nihilism

From the Coen Bros to Fincher to Tarantino, filmmakers on the verge of explosive popularity seemed interested in one thing: mind f*cking their audiences by putting characters in situations (and plot lines) beyond anyone’s control.

Feeling better about that walk down memory lane? Good. Enjoy the revival.

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And revisit some important ’90s classics all this weekend during IFC’s ’90s Marathon. Check out the full schedule here.

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Get Physical

DVDs are the new Vinyl

Portlandia Season 7 Now Available On Disc.

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In this crazy digital age, sometimes all we really want is to reach out and touch something. Maybe that’s why so many of us are still gung-ho about owning stuff on DVD. It’s tangible. It’s real. It’s tech from a bygone era that still feels relevant, yet also kitschy and retro. It’s basically vinyl for people born after 1990.

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Inevitably we all have that friend whose love of the disc is so absolutely repellent that he makes the technology less appealing. “The resolution, man. The colors. You can’t get latitude like that on a download.” Go to hell, Tim.

Yes, Tim sucks, and you don’t want to be like Tim, but maybe he’s onto something and DVD is still the future. Here are some benefits that go beyond touch.

It’s Decor and Decorum

With DVDs and a handsome bookshelf you can show off your great taste in film and television without showing off your search history. Good for first dates, dinner parties, family reunions, etc.

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Forget Public Wifi

Warm up that optical drive. No more awkwardly streaming episodes on shady free wifi!

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Inter-not

Internet service goes down. It happens all the time. It could happen right now. Then what? Without a DVD on hand you’ll be forced to make eye contact with your friends and family. Or worse – conversation.

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Self Defense

You can’t throw a download like a ninja star. Think about it.

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If you’d like to experience the benefits DVD ownership yourself, Portlandia Season 7 is now available on DVD and Blue-Ray.