It’s the most wonderful time of the year! At least that’s what the carols that are piped into every store in America want us to believe. But, not all of us have fireplaces to roast chestnuts in, and chestnuts are really expensive anyway. Eggnog isn’t for the lactose intolerant and Christmas trees exclude non-Christians and Christmas lights can cause seizures (well, maybe just the Slayer Christmas lights do that). It may be a winter wonderland where you are, but snow means treacherous driving conditions. It’s truly safer to stay inside and watch television. It’s what Santa would want.
Here’s what to watch when you’re not watching the Yule Log:
A young Stephen Dorff open the portal to hell in his backyard and if you spend one more day with your family, you might start scouring your parents’ backyard for mysterious holes. No highways to hell in the back acreage? Head to the theater with our Holiday Movie Guide in hand. The Gate starts at 6:30 p.m. ET.
Watch Naked in New York at 8 p.m. ET
It’s Christmas Eve, so gather the family around the television to watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail. While perhaps “Life of Brian” would be more appropriate, we don’t want to be blasphemers:
Merry Christmas! If Santa doesn’t bring you what you wanted (or if you don’t celebrate Xmas) please to enjoy our all day Freaks and Geeks marathon. The pilot kicks things off at 6 a.m. ET.