As we approach the end of the holiday season, your only job is to stay on Santa’s good side for just one and a half more weeks. That means no kissing the cutie under the mistletoe unless she’s your steady sweetie, no spiking the eggnog unless everyone is a consenting adult, and no singing “Winter Wonderland” unless you want to get socked in the nose. The safest thing to do is to stay inside all day, all night, and watch IFC. Luckily, we have some great shows, movies, and original programming to fill the many hours until Santa gets done checking that list (twice) and mistakes you for someone on the Nice List.
Here’s what to watch this week on IFC:
Stop studying for finals and watch Undeclared. It’s what college is all about. We have three back-to-back episodes starting at 10:30 p.m. ET
Joaquin Phoenix stars in Buffalo Soldiers at 11:30 p.m. ET. Awww, remember when he was all cute and professional and not
completely loony tunes pulling elaborate pranks for attention publicity?
The follow up to Tobe Hooper’s “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” was not a story about a adorably bunny and a clumsy kitten running away to the Land of Dairy Queen, but was instead Eaten Alive. It airs tonight at midnight, natch. (*No bunnies or kitties were hurt during the making of this movie. Just some leggy blondes. No biggie.)
Save yourself the trouble of writing an apology letter to your boss for mistaking his potted palm for a potty by skipping the office holiday party and watching our double feature instead. Shadow of the Vampire kicks things off at 8 p.m. ET and Pan’s Labyrinth begins at 10 p.m.
If you ignored our sage advice and went to the office party, nurse your hangover with a steady stream of Arrested Development all day and Undeclared and Todd Margaret all night. Try not to think about how disappointed Santa Claus is in your behavior and instead focus on how he is going to get your 96-inch plasma TV down the chimney.