DID YOU READ

The Chuck Norris Gift Guide

The Chuck Norris Gift Guide (photo)

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Everyone we know loves Chuck Norris more than they love their own flesh and blood. Why? Because he is always on the side of Justice, he likes to kick bad guys in the face, and he looks damn fine in a Stetson. Also, once he fought a bear. Can your flesh and blood make that claim? No they cannot. Also also, we’re a little frightened of him (see: bear fight) and all the best relationships have a soupcon of fear in them. Like in “Twilight”. Not that we’re Team Edward or Team Jacob because, clearly, we are Team Chuck and he would mop the floor with both of them with his beard. No hands, just beard. Don’t believe us? Watch Good Guys Wear Black tonight at 8:25 p.m. ET and see for yourself.

Now that Thanksgiving is over, we are officially in the Christmas shopping season. For all the Chuck Norris fans in the IFC family, we got to thinking about the greatest presents possible. Naturally our thoughts turned to Etsy, the online marketplace of handmade wonders. It offers a veritable treasure trove of Chuck Norris items for the discerning gift giver. For example, the painting featured above is available here for the low low price of $200. Is that too much for to have the stoic stare of Chuck Norris keeping watch over you at night? Of course not. Buy one for each of the eight nights of Hanukkah.

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Chuck Norris finger puppets are fun for adults and kids alike. Buy one for little Suzie and creepy Uncle Ted and Christmas shopping is done. Buy this delightful item here.

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What oenophile wouldn’t appreciate a side of ass-kicking good humor in their stocking? Available here.

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This is fine art at its finest and you should snap it up before the Guggenheim does. Buy it now!

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Chuck Norris is so cool he gets his own meme. That meme is so cool that it then gets turned into an embroidered internet meme on Etsy. Buy it for the great thinkers who appreciate a heady and meta holiday. For example, if Baudrillard was on your Secret Santa list this would be perfect for him.

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Chuck Norris is our nation’s first and last line of defense in case of Godzilla attack. Bet he’d be pretty good against zombies, too. Maybe The Walking Dead should hire him. Let’s all start mailing this postcard to Santa right now to make it so.

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Attach this pendant to any present to make it officially “Chuck Norris Approved”. The only items that will not be Chuck Norris approved are those featuring He Who Shall Not Be Named. (*cough* Jack Bauer *cough*.)

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The perfect, nay, only choice for the ladies and those gentlemen with large holes in their ears. These ear plugs say it all: Chuck Norris rules. Buy them and put a smile on your little girl’s face.

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What we’re all (yes, even you Jean Claude Van Damme) are secretly hoping is under our tree this year is a Chuck Norris magnetic action doll. Hope Santa’s elves know how to make something so awesome.

Good Guys Wear Black airs tonight on IFC at 8:25 p.m. ET

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Marc Maron on Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon

Kool Keith

Watch Marc Maron Talk About Sharing a Cigarette With Keith Richards

Maron returns tonight at 9P on IFC.

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Tonight Show / NBC Universal

If there was anyone who’d geek out over a chance to meet Keith Richards, it’d be Marc Maron. The host of the WTF Podcast and star of IFC’s Maron appeared on The Tonight Show With Jimmy Fallon to talk about the time he broke a ten-year hiatus from smoking and shared a cigarette with the Rolling Stones guitarist. A garage rock star in his own right, Maron related how he couldn’t pass up the opportunity to partake with a music legend and how grateful he was that he “caught Keith at the right time” — given the other substances he could’ve been carrying in his younger days.

Watch Marc share his Keith Richards story — as well as discuss the preparation that went into his landmark interview with President Obama (snipers are involved) — in the video below. And catch the season premiere of Maron tonight at 9pm ET/PT on IFC.

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Bad Moms

Mother Muckers

Watch Mila Kunis, Kristen Bell and Kathryn Hahn Slam Motherhood in the Bad Moms Trailer

Catch Mila Kunis on That '70s Show Mondays and Tuesdays starting at 6P on IFC.

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STX Entertiainment

They say that bringing a child into this world is the most treasured and life-fulfilling thing you can do. But once sacrificing all your time, energy, and money into a marginally grateful person wears thin, there’s not much left for fulfillment. And as three moms contending with carpools and PTA meetings, Mila Kunis, Kristen Bell, and Kathryn Hahn reject the entire notion of modern motherhood and vow to become Bad Moms, a new film by The Hangover writers Jon Lucas and Scott Moore.

Watch Mila Kunis and her pals join forces against motherhood and uptight school administrator Christina Applegate in the NSFW trailer below. And be sure to catch Mila in her younger days on That ’70s Show every Monday and Tuesday starting at 6P.

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Sally Kellerman- Maron – Season 4, Episode 5

Cheers to Mom

Send Mom Some Love With an IFC Mother’s Day Card

Give mom the gift of IFC this Mother's Day.

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Ah, May. A month of blooming flowers, fluttering butterflies, and a shrieking barrage of guilt come Mother’s Day. But rather than bearing the brunt of shame and misery when you can’t see Mom this year, smooth things over with an official IFC Mother’s Day card. They say everything you’re too busy to say over the phone, like would it kill you to ever dial a number and talk to the woman who gave you life? And would it be the end of the world if you found a better job and settled down with someone nice? But no, it’s fine. She’ll make do with one of these cards, featuring characters from Portlandia, Maron and Comedy Bang! Bang!. Check them out below, and be good to mom this year.

Mother's Day Portlandia

Mother's Day Portlandia

Mother's Day Maron

Mother's Day CBB

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