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Ten Actors Most Likely To Kick You In The Face (If You’re A Movie Bad Guy)

Ten Actors Most Likely To Kick You In The Face (If You’re A Movie Bad Guy) (photo)

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As we prepare for the Thanksgiving holiday, we are thinking of all the things we are thankful for. Obviously action movies are near the top of the list. (Right after documentaries and horror films.) Helping get us in the holiday spirit, Hero is airing at 1:35 p.m. ET.

The film stars Jet Li as a …well, hero, alongside a who’s who of ass-kicking action stars: Zhang Ziyi, Tony Leung, Maggie Cheung, and Donnie Yen. Directed by two-time Academy Award nominee Zhang Yimou, the film is a wide-sweeping epic of a time when the Chinese landscape was populated with warring kingdoms, nameless heroes, and famed assassins. Also, the fight scenes rule. Tony Leung versus Jet Li? Yeah, we’ll watch those two battle it out any day of the week.

As is typical of action movies, the fight scenes really got us thinking. Who are the ten actors most likely to kick you in the face? If you’re a movie bad guy, natch.

Here are our picks. Remember to mention them in your Thanksgiving lists:

Jet Li is a kung fu legend for a reason. Fighting an entire class of aspiring fighters? All part of being a legend:

Jean-Claude Van Damme is probably the toughest Belgian we know. Yes, that includes Hercule Poirot. Watch the final fight from “Bloodsport” and you’ll see why:

Before moving on to Hollywood, Jackie Chan fought his way to the top with incredible fight scenes like this one from “Drunken Master”:

Tony Jaamay not be as well known as Jet Li or Jackie Chan, but that just means he fights harder. We’re showing his film The Protector Sunday, Nov. 28 at 6:00 AM EDT:

Charles Bronson would kick you in the face, light up a cigarette, and adjust his ascot without breaking a sweat. He also has no qualms about grabbing a guy’s junk for a good cause:

Chuck Norris is a karate kind of guy. He first achieved notoriety as Bruce Lee’s rival in “Way of the Dragon” and then kicked ass in “Missing in Action.” And then, this one time, he fought a bear:

Bruce Lee is The Master:

While he is now a reality television star, Steven Seagal once operated a dojo in Japan and is an aikido black belt. He also doesn’t abide sass, backtalk, or lawbreakers:

If you have any doubts as to whether Jason Statham would kick a bad guy in the face, watch this clip from “The Transporter”:

Kurt Thomas. If you haven’t seen “Gymkata”, you have probably never seen a pommel horse used as a weapon:

Hero airs on IFC at 1:35 p.m. ET and again Sunday, Dec. 5 at 10:25 a.m. ET and at 6:55 p.m. ET

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Millennial Wisdom

Charles Speaks For Us All

Get to know Charles, the social media whiz of Brockmire.

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He may be an unlikely radio producer Brockmire, but Charles is #1 when it comes to delivering quips that tie a nice little bow on the absurdity of any given situation.

Charles also perfectly captures the jaded outlook of Millennials. Or at least Millennials as mythologized by marketers and news idiots. You know who you are.

Played superbly by Tyrel Jackson Williams, Charles’s quippy nuggets target just about any subject matter, from entry-level jobs in social media (“I plan on getting some experience here, then moving to New York to finally start my life.”) to the ramifications of fictional celebrity hookups (“Drake and Taylor Swift are dating! Albums y’all!”). But where he really nails the whole Millennial POV thing is when he comments on America’s second favorite past-time after type II diabetes: baseball.

Here are a few pearls.

On Baseball’s Lasting Cultural Relevance

“Baseball’s one of those old-timey things you don’t need anymore. Like cursive. Or email.”

On The Dramatic Value Of Double-Headers

“The only thing dumber than playing two boring-ass baseball games in one day is putting a two-hour delay between the boring-ass games.”

On Sartorial Tradition

“Is dressing badly just a thing for baseball, because that would explain his jacket.”

On Baseball, In A Nutshell

“Baseball is a f-cked up sport, and I want you to know it.”


Learn more about Charles in the behind-the-scenes video below.

And if you were born before the late ’80s and want to know what the kids think about Baseball, watch Brockmire Wednesdays at 10P on IFC.

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Crown Jules

Amanda Peet FTW on Brockmire

Amanda Peet brings it on Brockmire Wednesday at 10P on IFC.

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On Brockmire, Jules is the unexpected yin to Jim Brockmire’s yang. Which is saying a lot, because Brockmire’s yang is way out there. Played by Amanda Peet, Jules is hard-drinking, truth-spewing, baseball-loving…everything Brockmire is, and perhaps what he never expected to encounter in another human.

“We’re the same level of functional alcoholic.”


But Jules takes that commonality and transforms it into something special: a new beginning. A new beginning for failing minor league baseball team “The Frackers”, who suddenly about-face into a winning streak; and a new beginning for Brockmire, whose life gets a jumpstart when Jules lures him back to baseball. As for herself, her unexpected connection with Brockmire gives her own life a surprising and much needed goose.

“You’re a Goddamn Disaster and you’re starting To look good to me.”

This palpable dynamic adds depth and complexity to the narrative and pushes the series far beyond expected comedy. See for yourself in this behind-the-scenes video (and brace yourself for a unforgettable description of Brockmire’s genitals)…

Want more about Amanda Peet? She’s all over the place, and has even penned a recent self-reflective piece in the New York Times.

And of course you can watch the Jim-Jules relationship hysterically unfold in new episodes of Brockmire, every Wednesday at 10PM on IFC.

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Draught Pick

Sam Adams “Keeps It Brockmire”

All New Brockmire airs Wednesdays at 10P on IFC.

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From baseball to beer, Jim Brockmire calls ’em like he sees ’em.

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It’s no wonder at all, then, that Sam Adams would reach out to Brockmire to be their shockingly-honest (and inevitably short-term) new spokesperson. Unscripted and unrestrained, he’ll talk straight about Sam—and we’ll take his word. Check out this new testimonial for proof:

See more Brockmire Wednesdays at 10P on IFC, presented by Samuel Adams. Good f***** beer.

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