“Bulletstorm” Will Make Consoles Cloudy with a Chance of Carnage Next Year

“Bulletstorm” Will Make Consoles Cloudy with a Chance of Carnage Next Year (photo)

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Epic Games churns out first-class shooters like Hostess makes cupcakes. They created crazy futuristic killing fields in their “Unreal Tournament games” on the PC and fueled tons of user-generated content with mod tools based on that game’s engine. Then, led by design director Cliff Bleszinski, they followed that with the “Gears of War” games, which have gone on to become–with “Halo”– the other tentpole of the hardcore fanbase on the Xbox 360.

So, to say their all-new “Bulletstorm” game is eagerly anticipated is an understatement. The sci-fi shooter diverges from the melancholy vibe of the “Gears” games and delivers an set of foul-mouthed debaucherous characters who slaughter their enemies with aplomb. You’ll be playing as Grayson Hunt, who leads a mercenary squad called Dead Echo. Hunt’s team worked for The Confederation of the Galaxy but found out that the powers-that-be were actually galactic bad guys. Grayson and crew go on the run and become pirates, boozing it up and hijacking other ships in a remote corner of the galaxy. They happen upon a Confederation cruiser entering the orbit of former pleasure planet Stygia, and Hunt impulsively decides to ram it. The impact sends it and his own ship hurtling to the planet, where the two factions fight it out amongst bizarrely mutated plant and animal life.

Bulletstorm Trailer – Hey Man Nice Shot

Aside from the rowdier tone, Epic’s trying some other new tricks with “Bulletstorm.” Chief among them is the Skill Kill system, which awards points for stylish and unique enemy deaths. Impaling a bad guy onto giant cacti gives you a Bad Touch Skill Kill and so on. Hunt’s more acrobatic than most FPS heroes, with a kick that sends enemies flying away from him and an energy leash that yanks them back. Combining those moves with a highly interactive environment promises to yield an abundance of random chaos filled with Skill Kills waiting to be discovered.

It’s not the just the development side of “Bulletstorm” that boasts a smart pedigree. The story’s being written by Rick Remender, whose creator-owned comic “Fear Agent” and work-for-hire contributions on Marvel’s “Punisher” have earned him accolades. As the trailer above attests, “Bulletstorm” will be a bawdy, NSFY (not safe for young’uns) affair, published by EA. Bleszinski’s promised that fans of Joss Whedon’s Firefly/Serenity properity will love the upcoming game. We’ll see if that’s the case when it hits next year.

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Millennial Wisdom

Charles Speaks For Us All

Get to know Charles, the social media whiz of Brockmire.

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He may be an unlikely radio producer Brockmire, but Charles is #1 when it comes to delivering quips that tie a nice little bow on the absurdity of any given situation.

Charles also perfectly captures the jaded outlook of Millennials. Or at least Millennials as mythologized by marketers and news idiots. You know who you are.

Played superbly by Tyrel Jackson Williams, Charles’s quippy nuggets target just about any subject matter, from entry-level jobs in social media (“I plan on getting some experience here, then moving to New York to finally start my life.”) to the ramifications of fictional celebrity hookups (“Drake and Taylor Swift are dating! Albums y’all!”). But where he really nails the whole Millennial POV thing is when he comments on America’s second favorite past-time after type II diabetes: baseball.

Here are a few pearls.

On Baseball’s Lasting Cultural Relevance

“Baseball’s one of those old-timey things you don’t need anymore. Like cursive. Or email.”

On The Dramatic Value Of Double-Headers

“The only thing dumber than playing two boring-ass baseball games in one day is putting a two-hour delay between the boring-ass games.”

On Sartorial Tradition

“Is dressing badly just a thing for baseball, because that would explain his jacket.”

On Baseball, In A Nutshell

“Baseball is a f-cked up sport, and I want you to know it.”

Learn more about Charles in the behind-the-scenes video below.

And if you were born before the late ’80s and want to know what the kids think about Baseball, watch Brockmire Wednesdays at 10P on IFC.

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Crown Jules

Amanda Peet FTW on Brockmire

Amanda Peet brings it on Brockmire Wednesday at 10P on IFC.

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GIFS via Giphy

On Brockmire, Jules is the unexpected yin to Jim Brockmire’s yang. Which is saying a lot, because Brockmire’s yang is way out there. Played by Amanda Peet, Jules is hard-drinking, truth-spewing, baseball-loving…everything Brockmire is, and perhaps what he never expected to encounter in another human.

“We’re the same level of functional alcoholic.”

But Jules takes that commonality and transforms it into something special: a new beginning. A new beginning for failing minor league baseball team “The Frackers”, who suddenly about-face into a winning streak; and a new beginning for Brockmire, whose life gets a jumpstart when Jules lures him back to baseball. As for herself, her unexpected connection with Brockmire gives her own life a surprising and much needed goose.

“You’re a Goddamn Disaster and you’re starting To look good to me.”

This palpable dynamic adds depth and complexity to the narrative and pushes the series far beyond expected comedy. See for yourself in this behind-the-scenes video (and brace yourself for a unforgettable description of Brockmire’s genitals)…

Want more about Amanda Peet? She’s all over the place, and has even penned a recent self-reflective piece in the New York Times.

And of course you can watch the Jim-Jules relationship hysterically unfold in new episodes of Brockmire, every Wednesday at 10PM on IFC.

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Draught Pick

Sam Adams “Keeps It Brockmire”

All New Brockmire airs Wednesdays at 10P on IFC.

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From baseball to beer, Jim Brockmire calls ’em like he sees ’em.


It’s no wonder at all, then, that Sam Adams would reach out to Brockmire to be their shockingly-honest (and inevitably short-term) new spokesperson. Unscripted and unrestrained, he’ll talk straight about Sam—and we’ll take his word. Check out this new testimonial for proof:

See more Brockmire Wednesdays at 10P on IFC, presented by Samuel Adams. Good f***** beer.

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