DID YOU READ

40 Years of “Airport”: “Airport” (1970)

40 Years of “Airport”: “Airport” (1970) (photo)

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In 1970, one movie invented the modern disaster film. After grossing more than $100 million at the domestic box office (adjusted for inflation, it made more than any of the “Lord of the Rings”), it spawned three sequels that stretched through the entire decade. But this landmark series is now almost totally forgotten, long eclipsed by the film that so brilliantly spoofed the genre tropes it helped define. In honor of its fortieth anniversary, we’re looking back at the “Airport” franchise this week, one film at a time. Today, the movie that started it all, based on the novel by Arthur Hailey.

Airport (1970)
Directed by George Seaton

Nature of Air Emergency: A distraught man detonates a crude suicide bomb on a commercial jet in the hopes that his wife will collect his life insurance. Captain Vern Demerest (Dean Martin) has to land the damaged plan in the middle of a brutal Chicago snowstorm at an airport where the main runway is closed.

George Kennedy Plays: Joe Patroni, Chief Mechanic of Trans Global Airlines.

11082010_airport2.jpgMost Surprising Subplot: Flight attendant Gwen’s (Jacqueline Bisset) unwanted and out-of-wedlock pregnancy, which prompts a weirdly frank discussion about abortion between Bisset and Martin. “I stopped taking the pills because they were making me gain weight,” she tells him. “So instead of being plump I’m pregnant.” His response: “I’ll make sure you don’t go to some butcher two flights up over a drug store. I hear Sweden’s the best place. Good doctors, good hospitals. Medically safe.” Call me naive, but I wasn’t prepared for the silly disaster picture about the plane that gets blown up and still lands safely to set aside a few minutes for a sincerely moving conversation about family planning. Go ahead. Call me naive.

If “Airport” Were Made Today: it would be hard to play Helen Hayes’ stowaway character as the comic relief. Mrs. Ada Quonsett is a widow who hitches rides on airplanes whenever she feels like it. Everything she does is illegal and immoral, but she’s a little old lady and she’s having a lot of fun being bad; even after she’s caught, she still tries to talk her way into the admiral’s club with a “borrowed” membership card. In 1970, people sneaking onto airplanes with forged documents could be kind of charming (talk about being naive). In 2010, people sneaking on airplanes with forged documents, even little old lady types, not so charming.

11082010_airport3.jpgCharacter You Kind of Want To Die: This one random passenger who keeps screwing things up for everyone else. When the flight crew get wind of the bomber’s plan, they hatch an elaborate scheme to grab his explosives, hidden in a briefcase, away from him. The plan works, until this one random guy sees what’s happening and sticks his nose in where it doesn’t belong; he stops the flight attendant with the case, and the bomber is able to grab it back. Then a few minutes later, just as Dean Martin is about to convince him not to blow himself up, a man comes out of the bathroom and bumps into the bomber, and the same random douchebag screams out “He’s got a bomb!” That starts a scuffle that results in the bomb going off. That one idiot is indirectly responsible for everything that goes wrong on that airplane! Is it weird that I kind of enjoyed watching him struggle for air when the cabin depressurized? Also: how intense does a trip to the bathroom have to be to not hear a guy threatening to blow up an airplane right outside the door?

Line That Makes You Wonder Whether The Whole Film Was An Informercial For The Air Travel Industry: “Remind me to send a thank you note to Mr. Boeing.” — Capt. Harris (Barry Nelson), inspecting the damaged plane after its safe landing.

Parodied in “Airplane!”: The opening credits of “Airplane!” are an obvious parody of “Jaws”: a model 747 tail fin snakes through lines of clouds while ominous John Williams-esque music plays. You assume the model looks so cheap because the Zuckers couldn’t afford anything fancier until you watch some of the flying sequences in “Airport,” which actually tries to pass off an incredibly phony toy plane skimming through cotton balls as a real plane in flight.

11082010_airport4.jpgHow Does It Hold Up? Better than I expected. “Airport” may have helped invent the modern disaster movie, but it’s a lot less over-the-top than many of the films that would follow (I’m looking at you, movie about Michael Caine fighting millions of angry bees). Most of the movie isn’t even about the airplane disaster; it really does focus on this airport and the tough decisions that have to be made by its manager, Mel Bakersfeld (Burt Lancaster). Even amidst all the movie stars and the big action set pieces, the movie has a nice working-class vibe. While Martin’s romancing Bisset, Lancaster and Kennedy are doing the unglamorous stuff: dealing with corporate bureaucracy, fielding complaints from angry customers, and digging planes out of snow banks, all on their nights off. For the people in the sky, air travel is exotic and exciting. Even though their flight gets attacked, it’s all this grand adventure that works out in the end. For the people on the ground, it’s just a job, and a pretty crappy one at that; it destroys at least one marriage before the picture’s over. I guess the powers that be at Universal felt that the movie stars and big action set pieces were what put asses in the seats, not the promise of tough management decisions. That would have a major impact on the tone and plot of the sequels.

Strange But True: According to Wikipedia, the plane that Universal leased to double for the damaged Trans Global jet was later sold to a Brazilian airline. On March 21, 1989, it was involved a real-life air disaster resulting in over twenty-five fatalities. Creepy.

Tomorrow: “Airport 1975”
Wednesday: “Airport ’77”
Thursday: “The Concorde… Airport ’79”
Friday: “Airplane!”

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Grow TFU

Adulting Like You Mean It

Commuters makes its debut on IFC's Comedy Crib.

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Jared Warner, Nick Ciavarella, and Tim Dean were once a part of Murderfist, a group of comedy writers, actors, producers, parents, and reluctant adults. Together with InstaMiniSeries’s Nikki Borges, they’re making their IFC Comedy Crib debut with the refreshingly-honest and joyfully-hilarious Commuters. The webseries follows thirtysomethings Harris and Olivia as they brave the waters of true adulthood, and it’s right on point.

Jared, Nick, Nikki and Tim were kind enough to answer a few questions about Commuters for us. Here’s a snippet of that conversation…

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IFC: How would you describe Commuters to a fancy network executive you met in an elevator?

Nick: Two 30-somethings leave the Brooklyn life behind, and move to the New Jersey suburbs in a forced attempt to “grow up.” But they soon find out they’ve got a long way to go to get to where they want to be.

IFC: How would you describe Commuters to a drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?

Jared: It’s a show about how f*cking stupid people who think they are smart can be.

IFC: What’s your origin story? When did you all meet and how long have you been working together?

Jared: Nick, Tim, and I were all in the sketch group Murderfist since, what, like 2004? God. Anyway, Tim and Nick left the group to pursue other frivolous things, like children and careers, but we all enjoyed writing together and kept at it. We were always more interested in storytelling than sketch comedy lends itself to, which led to our webseries Jared Posts A Personal. That was a show about being in your 20s and embracing the chaos of being young in the city. Commuters is the counterpoint, i guess. Our director Adam worked at Borders (~THE PAST!!~) with Tim, came out to a Murderfist show once, and we’ve kept him imprisoned ever since.

IFC: What was the genesis of Commuters?

Tim: Jared had an idea for a series about the more realistic, less romantic aspects of being in a serious relationship.  I moved out of the city to the suburbs and Nick got engaged out in LA.   We sort of combined all of those facets and Commuters was the end result.

IFC: How would Harris describe Olivia?

Jared: Olivia is the smartest, coolest, hottest person in the world, and Harris can’t believe he gets to be with her, even though she does overreact to everything and has no chill. Like seriously, ease up. It doesn’t always have to be ‘a thing.’

IFC: How would Olivia describe Harris?

Nikki:  Harris is smart, confident with a dry sense of humor but he’s also kind of a major chicken shit…. Kind of like if Han Solo and Barney Rubble had a baby.

IFC: Why do you think the world is ready for this series?

Nikki:  I think this is the most accurate portrayal of what a modern relationship looks like. Expectations for what your life is ‘supposed to look like’ are confusing and often a let down but when you’re married to your best friend, it’s going to be ok because you will always find a way to make each other laugh.

IFC: Is the exciting life of NYC twentysomethings a sweet dream from which we all must awake, or is it a nightmare that we don’t realize is happening until it’s over?

Tim: Now that i’ve spent time living in the suburbs, helping to raise a two year old, y’all city folk have no fucking clue how great you’ve got it.

Nikki: I think of it similar to how I think about college. There’s a time and age for it to be glorious but no one wants to hang out with that 7th year senior. Luckily, NYC is so multifaceted that you can still have an exciting life here but it doesn’t have to be just what the twentysomethings are doing (thank god).

Jared: New York City is a garbage fire.

See the whole season of Commuters right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

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C'mon Fellas

A Man Mansplains To Men

Why Baroness von Sketch Show is a must-see.

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Mansplaining is when a man takes it upon himself to explain something to a woman that she already knows. It happens a lot, but it’s not going to happen here. Ladies, go ahead and skip to the end of this post to watch a free episode of IFC’s latest addition, Baroness von Sketch Show.

However, if you’re a man, you might actually benefit from a good mansplanation. So take a knee, lean in, and absorb the following wisdom.

No Dicks

Baroness von Sketch Show is made entirely by women, therefore this show isn’t focused on men. Can you believe it? I know what you’re thinking: how will we know when to laugh if the jokes aren’t viewed through the dusty lens of the patriarchy? Where are the thinly veiled penis jokes? Am I a bad person? In order: you will, nowhere, and yes.

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Huge Balls

Did you know that there’s more to life than poop jokes, sex jokes, body part jokes? I mean, those things are all really good things, natch, and totally edgy. But Baroness von Sketch Show does something even edgier. It holds up a brutal funhouse mirror to our everyday life. This is a bulls**t world we made, fellas.

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Oh Canada

After you watch the Canadian powerhouses of Baroness von Sketch Show and think to yourself “Dear god, this is so real” and “I’ve gotta talk about this,” do yourself a favor and think a-boot your options: Refrain from sharing your sage wisdom with any woman anywhere (believe us, she gets it). Instead, tell a fellow bro and get the mansplaining out of your system while also spreading the word about a great show.

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Dudes, that’s the deal.
Women, start reading again here:


Check out the preview episode of Baroness von Sketch Show and watch the series premiere August 2 on IFC.

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Happy Tears

Binge Don’t Cringe

Catch up on episodes of Documentary Now! and Portlandia.

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Photo Credit: GIFs via GIPHY

A brain can only take so much.

Every five minutes, all day, every day, ludicrously stressful headlines push our mental limits as we struggle to adapt to a reality that seems increasingly less real. What’s a mind to do when simple denial just isn’t good enough anymore?

Radical suggestion: repeal and replace. And by that we mean take all the bad news that keeps you up at night, press pause, and substitute it with some genuine (not nervous, for a change) laughter. Here are some of the issues on our mind.

Gender Inequality

Feminist bookstore owners by day, still feminist bookstore owners by night, Toni and Candace show the male gaze who’s boss. Learn about their origin story (SPOILER: there’s an epic dance battle) and see what happens when their own brand of empowerment gets out of hand.

Healthcare

From Candace’s heart attack to the rise of the rawvolution, this Portlandia episode proves that healthcare is vital.

Peaceful Protests

Too many online petitions, too little time? Get WOKE with Fred and Carrie when they learn how to protest.

What Could Have Been

Can’t say the name “Clinton” without bursting into tears? Documentary Now!’s masterfully political “The Bunker” sheds a cozy new light on the house that Bill and Hill built. Just pretend you don’t know how the story really ends.

Fake News

A healthy way to break the high-drama news cycle is to switch over to “Dronez”, which has all the thrills of ubiquitous adventure journalism without any of the customary depression.

The more you watch, the better you feel. So get started on past episodes of Documentary Now! and Portlandia right now at IFC.com and the IFC app.

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