DID YOU READ

Five Velvet Underground Songs To Drown Out Five Tea Party Contradictions

Five Velvet Underground Songs To Drown Out Five Tea Party Contradictions (photo)

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You may have read the news recently about Moe Tucker speaking at a Tea Party gathering in Georgia. It’s somewhat shocking considering the legacy of the Velvet Underground, and the literary, often difficult music they made. They were pioneers, sailors on a great big clipper ship, plying the seas of late 60’s counter culture. When everyone else was wearing tie-dyes, they dressed all in black and sang about masochism.

Still, what struck me more than an aged, right-leaning Moe Tucker — who never dug “that love and peace shit” anyway — are the buffoons coming out of the woodwork to rejoice about it. Maybe you read some of their comments on the web, perhaps even here where the BIG Hollywood devotees chose to pick on little old IFC. Yes, right wing mouthpieces, Big Hollywood and FOX are both giddy over it.

These Tea Party people praise themselves, and Moe, as the true counter culture of our times. But Fox, and even some actual news organizations, have long made the claim that the Tea Party is mainstream. So which is it? Are they this real deal, grass roots, underdog, counter culture movement? Or mainstream America? They can’t be both.

While they are well organized, much more so than any left-leaning organization (you can tell just by how many of them lock step marched in here to comment after being directed to by their ringleader), they just don’t know what the hell they’re talking about. Oh their feelings and anger are valid, but almost entirely misplaced, and today’s drilled talking points are in total conflict with yesterday’s positions.

There’s only one thing left to do — drown out and disperse their vaporous claims with Velvet Underground:

1. The Mosque.
They vehemently want government stay out of their business. But maybe not yours, or hers or his! They want government to intervene and stop that Mosque from being built near Ground Zero, ignoring the totally legal nature of the project, the constitutional right to freedom of religion, and their own position on less government.


“What Goes On”

2. Fiscal Responsibility.
They suddenly demand fiscal responsibility after 8 years of the Bush administration first squandering away the surplus, then plunging into deficit with vast overspending, and refusing to budget for the wars.


“Foggy Notion”

3. Taxes.
They’re for tax cuts but somehow can’t absorb the facts — that the Obama administration’s policy is also for tax cuts. In fact the federal income tax burden for 98 percent of all working families and individuals was reduced in 2009 and the administration is proposing to continue that. In contrast the GOP wants tax cuts for the wealthiest 1% but won’t account for how to pay for them — we’ll borrow from China for that. Hey, some people like getting stepped on by stilettos and having hot wax poured on their genitals too.

“Venus in Furs”

4. Socialism.
All the wild eyed, mouth foaming about Socialism is deeply disingenuous, when you consider that the decidedly older Tea Party demographic refuse to consider giving up their cheap drugs, Medicare or their SocialSecurity — the pinkest programs we have.


“Heroin”

5. Fascism.
They keep trying to liken Obama to Hitler, while calling him a socialist. This is raw idiocy. Hitler of course was a fascist. Any third rate history student can tell the difference. It is fitting though that these people drinking the Koch brothers kool aid cannot while they rail against “socialist” policies aimed for the greater good and decry State influence in their business — they lobby for the collusion of corporate and State power to be employed specifically where it please them, and against groups which they oppose — just like Hitler did. They’re still waiting for theirs.

“Waiting For The Man”
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Millennial Wisdom

Charles Speaks For Us All

Get to know Charles, the social media whiz of Brockmire.

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He may be an unlikely radio producer Brockmire, but Charles is #1 when it comes to delivering quips that tie a nice little bow on the absurdity of any given situation.

Charles also perfectly captures the jaded outlook of Millennials. Or at least Millennials as mythologized by marketers and news idiots. You know who you are.

Played superbly by Tyrel Jackson Williams, Charles’s quippy nuggets target just about any subject matter, from entry-level jobs in social media (“I plan on getting some experience here, then moving to New York to finally start my life.”) to the ramifications of fictional celebrity hookups (“Drake and Taylor Swift are dating! Albums y’all!”). But where he really nails the whole Millennial POV thing is when he comments on America’s second favorite past-time after type II diabetes: baseball.

Here are a few pearls.

On Baseball’s Lasting Cultural Relevance

“Baseball’s one of those old-timey things you don’t need anymore. Like cursive. Or email.”

On The Dramatic Value Of Double-Headers

“The only thing dumber than playing two boring-ass baseball games in one day is putting a two-hour delay between the boring-ass games.”

On Sartorial Tradition

“Is dressing badly just a thing for baseball, because that would explain his jacket.”

On Baseball, In A Nutshell

“Baseball is a f-cked up sport, and I want you to know it.”


Learn more about Charles in the behind-the-scenes video below.

And if you were born before the late ’80s and want to know what the kids think about Baseball, watch Brockmire Wednesdays at 10P on IFC.

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Crown Jules

Amanda Peet FTW on Brockmire

Amanda Peet brings it on Brockmire Wednesday at 10P on IFC.

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On Brockmire, Jules is the unexpected yin to Jim Brockmire’s yang. Which is saying a lot, because Brockmire’s yang is way out there. Played by Amanda Peet, Jules is hard-drinking, truth-spewing, baseball-loving…everything Brockmire is, and perhaps what he never expected to encounter in another human.

“We’re the same level of functional alcoholic.”


But Jules takes that commonality and transforms it into something special: a new beginning. A new beginning for failing minor league baseball team “The Frackers”, who suddenly about-face into a winning streak; and a new beginning for Brockmire, whose life gets a jumpstart when Jules lures him back to baseball. As for herself, her unexpected connection with Brockmire gives her own life a surprising and much needed goose.

“You’re a Goddamn Disaster and you’re starting To look good to me.”

This palpable dynamic adds depth and complexity to the narrative and pushes the series far beyond expected comedy. See for yourself in this behind-the-scenes video (and brace yourself for a unforgettable description of Brockmire’s genitals)…

Want more about Amanda Peet? She’s all over the place, and has even penned a recent self-reflective piece in the New York Times.

And of course you can watch the Jim-Jules relationship hysterically unfold in new episodes of Brockmire, every Wednesday at 10PM on IFC.

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Draught Pick

Sam Adams “Keeps It Brockmire”

All New Brockmire airs Wednesdays at 10P on IFC.

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From baseball to beer, Jim Brockmire calls ’em like he sees ’em.

via GIPHY

It’s no wonder at all, then, that Sam Adams would reach out to Brockmire to be their shockingly-honest (and inevitably short-term) new spokesperson. Unscripted and unrestrained, he’ll talk straight about Sam—and we’ll take his word. Check out this new testimonial for proof:

See more Brockmire Wednesdays at 10P on IFC, presented by Samuel Adams. Good f***** beer.

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