DID YOU READ

Five Velvet Underground Songs To Drown Out Five Tea Party Contradictions

Five Velvet Underground Songs To Drown Out Five Tea Party Contradictions (photo)

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You may have read the news recently about Moe Tucker speaking at a Tea Party gathering in Georgia. It’s somewhat shocking considering the legacy of the Velvet Underground, and the literary, often difficult music they made. They were pioneers, sailors on a great big clipper ship, plying the seas of late 60’s counter culture. When everyone else was wearing tie-dyes, they dressed all in black and sang about masochism.

Still, what struck me more than an aged, right-leaning Moe Tucker — who never dug “that love and peace shit” anyway — are the buffoons coming out of the woodwork to rejoice about it. Maybe you read some of their comments on the web, perhaps even here where the BIG Hollywood devotees chose to pick on little old IFC. Yes, right wing mouthpieces, Big Hollywood and FOX are both giddy over it.

These Tea Party people praise themselves, and Moe, as the true counter culture of our times. But Fox, and even some actual news organizations, have long made the claim that the Tea Party is mainstream. So which is it? Are they this real deal, grass roots, underdog, counter culture movement? Or mainstream America? They can’t be both.

While they are well organized, much more so than any left-leaning organization (you can tell just by how many of them lock step marched in here to comment after being directed to by their ringleader), they just don’t know what the hell they’re talking about. Oh their feelings and anger are valid, but almost entirely misplaced, and today’s drilled talking points are in total conflict with yesterday’s positions.

There’s only one thing left to do — drown out and disperse their vaporous claims with Velvet Underground:

1. The Mosque.
They vehemently want government stay out of their business. But maybe not yours, or hers or his! They want government to intervene and stop that Mosque from being built near Ground Zero, ignoring the totally legal nature of the project, the constitutional right to freedom of religion, and their own position on less government.


“What Goes On”

2. Fiscal Responsibility.
They suddenly demand fiscal responsibility after 8 years of the Bush administration first squandering away the surplus, then plunging into deficit with vast overspending, and refusing to budget for the wars.


“Foggy Notion”

3. Taxes.
They’re for tax cuts but somehow can’t absorb the facts — that the Obama administration’s policy is also for tax cuts. In fact the federal income tax burden for 98 percent of all working families and individuals was reduced in 2009 and the administration is proposing to continue that. In contrast the GOP wants tax cuts for the wealthiest 1% but won’t account for how to pay for them — we’ll borrow from China for that. Hey, some people like getting stepped on by stilettos and having hot wax poured on their genitals too.

“Venus in Furs”

4. Socialism.
All the wild eyed, mouth foaming about Socialism is deeply disingenuous, when you consider that the decidedly older Tea Party demographic refuse to consider giving up their cheap drugs, Medicare or their SocialSecurity — the pinkest programs we have.


“Heroin”

5. Fascism.
They keep trying to liken Obama to Hitler, while calling him a socialist. This is raw idiocy. Hitler of course was a fascist. Any third rate history student can tell the difference. It is fitting though that these people drinking the Koch brothers kool aid cannot while they rail against “socialist” policies aimed for the greater good and decry State influence in their business — they lobby for the collusion of corporate and State power to be employed specifically where it please them, and against groups which they oppose — just like Hitler did. They’re still waiting for theirs.

“Waiting For The Man”
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New Nasty

Whips, Chains and Hand Sanitizer

Turn On The Full Season Of Neurotica At IFC's Comedy Crib

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Jenny Jaffe has a lot going on: She’s writing for Disney’s upcoming Big Hero 6: The Series, developing comedy projects with pals at Devastator Press, and she’s straddling the line between S&M and OCD as the creator and star of the sexyish new series Neurotica, which has just made its debut on IFC’s Comedy Crib. Jenny gave us some extremely intimate insight into what makes Neurotica (safely) sizzle…

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IFC: How would you describe Neurotica to a fancy network executive you met in an elevator?

Jenny: Neurotica is about a plucky Dominatrix with OCD trying to save her small-town dungeon. 

IFC: How would you describe Neurotica to a drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?

Jenny: Neurotica is about a plucky Dominatrix with OCD trying to save her small-town dungeon. You’re great. We should get coffee sometime. I’m not just saying that. I know other people just say that sometimes but I really feel like we’re going to be friends, you know? Here, what’s your number, I’ll call you so you can have my number! 

IFC: What’s your comedy origin story?

Jenny: Since I was a kid I’ve dealt with severe OCD and anxiety. Comedy has always been one of the ways I’ve dealt with that. I honestly just want to help make people feel happy for a few minutes at a time. 

IFC: What was the genesis of Neurotica?

Jenny: I’m pretty sure it was a title-first situation. I was coming up with ideas to pitch to a production company a million years ago (this isn’t hyperbole; I am VERY old) and just wrote down “Neurotica”; then it just sort of appeared fully formed. “Neurotica? Oh it’s an over-the-top romantic comedy about a Dominatrix with OCD, of course.” And that just happened to hit the buttons of everything I’m fascinated by. 

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IFC: How would you describe Ivy?

Jenny: Ivy is everything I love in a comedy character – she’s tenacious, she’s confident, she’s sweet, she’s a big wonderful weirdo. 

IFC: How would Ivy’s clientele describe her?

Jenny:  Open-minded, caring, excellent aim. 

IFC: Why don’t more small towns have local dungeons?

Jenny: How do you know they don’t? 

IFC: What are the pros and cons of joining a chain mega dungeon?

Jenny: You can use any of their locations but you’ll always forget you have a membership and in a year you’ll be like “jeez why won’t they let me just cancel?” 

IFC: Mouths are gross! Why is that?

Jenny: If you had never seen a mouth before and I was like “it’s a wet flesh cave with sharp parts that lives in your face”, it would sound like Cronenberg-ian body horror. All body parts are horrifying. I’m kind of rooting for the singularity, I’d feel way better if I was just a consciousness in a cloud. 

See the whole season of Neurotica right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

The-Craft

The ’90s Are Back

The '90s live again during IFC's weekend marathon.

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Photo Credit: Everett Digital, Columbia Pictures

We know what you’re thinking: “Why on Earth would anyone want to reanimate the decade that gave us Haddaway, Los Del Rio, and Smash Mouth, not to mention Crystal Pepsi?”

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Thoughts like those are normal. After all, we tend to remember lasting psychological trauma more vividly than fleeting joy. But if you dig deep, you’ll rediscover that the ’90s gave us so much to fondly revisit. Consider the four pillars of true ’90s culture.

Boy Bands

We all pretended to hate them, but watch us come alive at a karaoke bar when “I Want It That Way” comes on. Arguably more influential than Brit Pop and Grunge put together, because hello – Justin Timberlake. He’s a legitimate cultural gem.

Man-Child Movies

Adam Sandler is just behind The Simpsons in terms of his influence on humor. Somehow his man-child schtick didn’t get old until the aughts, and his success in that arena ushered in a wave of other man-child movies from fellow ’90s comedians. RIP Chris Farley (and WTF Rob Schneider).

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Teen Angst

In horror, dramas, comedies, and everything in between: Troubled teens! Getting into trouble! Who couldn’t relate to their First World problems, plaid flannels, and lose grasp of the internet?

Mainstream Nihilism

From the Coen Bros to Fincher to Tarantino, filmmakers on the verge of explosive popularity seemed interested in one thing: mind f*cking their audiences by putting characters in situations (and plot lines) beyond anyone’s control.

Feeling better about that walk down memory lane? Good. Enjoy the revival.

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And revisit some important ’90s classics all this weekend during IFC’s ’90s Marathon. Check out the full schedule here.

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Get Physical

DVDs are the new Vinyl

Portlandia Season 7 Now Available On Disc.

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In this crazy digital age, sometimes all we really want is to reach out and touch something. Maybe that’s why so many of us are still gung-ho about owning stuff on DVD. It’s tangible. It’s real. It’s tech from a bygone era that still feels relevant, yet also kitschy and retro. It’s basically vinyl for people born after 1990.

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Inevitably we all have that friend whose love of the disc is so absolutely repellent that he makes the technology less appealing. “The resolution, man. The colors. You can’t get latitude like that on a download.” Go to hell, Tim.

Yes, Tim sucks, and you don’t want to be like Tim, but maybe he’s onto something and DVD is still the future. Here are some benefits that go beyond touch.

It’s Decor and Decorum

With DVDs and a handsome bookshelf you can show off your great taste in film and television without showing off your search history. Good for first dates, dinner parties, family reunions, etc.

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Forget Public Wifi

Warm up that optical drive. No more awkwardly streaming episodes on shady free wifi!

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Inter-not

Internet service goes down. It happens all the time. It could happen right now. Then what? Without a DVD on hand you’ll be forced to make eye contact with your friends and family. Or worse – conversation.

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Self Defense

You can’t throw a download like a ninja star. Think about it.

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If you’d like to experience the benefits DVD ownership yourself, Portlandia Season 7 is now available on DVD and Blue-Ray.