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DID YOU READ

Armond White vs. The World

Armond White vs. The World (photo)

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Armond White, the internet’s favorite film critic, strikes back against his detractors and the online consensus mob mentality in an article at the New York Press — after provoking more ire by being one of (at the time I’m writing this) only three negative reviews of “The Social Network” at Rotten Tomatoes. Regardless of where you stand on Armond’s writing and opinions, it’s a worthwhile read that lands some punches with regard to the spoilers police, the eclipsing of criticism by studio marketing, and the insanity of attacking writers for giving a film an unexpected bad (or, in the case of “Vampires Suck,” good) review:

Ridiculing the need for mature thought and discriminating judgment diminishes film culture. Any opinion that challenges the blockbuster market gets punished. We never experience a healthy exchange of ideas. The social networking approach to criticism encourages anti-intellectual harassment and the excoriation of individual response; it may spell the end of critical habits altogether.

The hostility that greets a pan of an anticipated film does seem to speak to a culture in which anticipation of what’s coming has become more important than what it’s like when it actually arrives. Worse, there’s the undercurrent of criticism being a killjoy, or taking too seriously what are “only movies,” as if to have higher expectations is to ask too much of an industry and an art that has huge cultural and financial impact in our lives.

Of course, for every valid point that Mr. White makes, there’s another that goes totally wild. His criticism of internet film culture includes everything from “The Social Network” to “trendy aggregate websites” like Rotten Tomatoes to “attacks from bloggers.” It indicates misunderstandings about how the internet works — he conflates bloggers with commenters (who leave “posts” on RT) and social networking sites with aggregators; he attaches significance to the way that “over three million Google results offered links to the ad hominem ferocity” — to his RT link? to the entry for the film? from where? And he addresses online culture as an impossible monolith in a way that can’t help but be seen as a “kids these days” rant.

And finally, he writes that “a new model of cultural response is taking over: criticism of criticism–and critics–as a pointless, snaky substitute for examining films themselves.” But in the field of “print” critics, if that’s a meaningful designation anymore, White has always been the worst offender in devoting whole segments of his reviews to the failures of his fellow critics. A few selections from his reviews:

“Critics preferred Let the Right One In for its selfpitying view of adolescence.” — from “Let Me In”

“The familiarity of these clichés explains the critical raves for Affleck’s two directorial stints. Given their specious ethnic subject matter, it is necessary to point out the mainstream media’s preference for this heist fantasy over the superior Takers as proof of racial preference; critics swallow Affleck’s thuggish pieties while ignoring the ethnic details in Takers and dismissing director John Luessenhop’s splendid distillation of genre form that gave it speed and complexity.” — from “The Town”

“If critics and fanboys weren’t suckers for simplistic nihilism and high-pressure marketing, Afterlife would be universally acclaimed as a visionary feat, superior to Inception and Avatar on every level.” — from “Resident Evil: Afterlife”

“Clooney’s still on his anti-American kick, sentimentalizing the corruption that appeals to cynical film critics who fall for his forced, noxious ‘charm.'” — from “The American”

“Most critics misjudged Wright’s 2006 Hot Fuzz as simply a cop movie parody; they completely ignored the sting in Wright’s spoofing how the English class system is repeated in its law enforcement bureaucracy and his bemused critique of its threatening arcane social traditions.” — from “Scott Pilgrim vs. the World”

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Rev Up

Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Give Back

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…

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A-O Rewind

Celebrating Portlandia One Sketch at a Time

The final season of Portlandia approaches.

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GIFs via Giphy

Most people measure time in minutes, hours, days, years…At IFC, we measure it in sketches. And nothing takes us way (waaaaaay) back like Portlandia sketches. Yes, there’s a Portlandia milepost from every season that changed the way we think, behave, and pickle things. In honor of Portlandia’s 8th and final season, Subaru presents a few of our favorites.

via GIPHY

Put A Bird On It

Portlandia enters the pop-culture lexicon and inspires us to put birds on literally everything.

Colin the Chicken

Who’s your chicken, really? Behold the emerging locavore trend captured perfectly to the nth degree.

Dream Of The ’90s

This treatise on Portland made it clear that “the dream” was alive and well.

No You Go

We Americans spend most of our lives in cars. Fortunately, there’s a Portlandia sketch for every automotive situation.

A-O River!

We learned all our outdoor survival skills from Kath and Dave.

One More Episode

The true birth of binge watching, pre-Netflix. And what you’ll do once Season 8 premieres.

Catch up on Portlandia’s best moments before the 8th season premieres January 18th on IFC.

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